First timer in your 30s?

HunterandAndrea · December 2013

I'm a first time mom in my 30s. I see all these 20 something's with babies and I don't know how they do it. This has been such a confusing, frustrating, painful, exhausting experience already - and I feel like I should be able to handle this by my age. Instead I'm a zoo. And have no pregnant friends here and could use some

TGager · December 2013

I am a FTM and I am 39 (will be 40 when the LO arrives). I am amazed at what I didn't know. You are not alone in that feeling... believe me My DH and I were sort of trying, and I am still surprised that it happened and feel all sorts of different emotions about the whole thing.

I guess... Welcome to the madness

8-}

mcvgal · December 2013

I was a FTM at 33 and I felt like "16 and pregnant" several times because I felt that I didn't know anything. I also wondered how all the younger ladies do it. All I can say is it does get better.

SuperTinkerham · December 2013

I'm 34. This is our first. Wheee.

clebl24 · December 2013

I'm a FTM at 31.

Ylvelill · December 2013

Ftm who planed to be in her 30s..... Darn 5 years of trying.

HunterandAndrea · December 2013

It is comforting to hear of others - exp who feel as clueless as I do! Glad I waited but also wondering if my 20 something body would have taken this easier? DH will be in his forties but it's his second so clearly he's an expert haha.

January Bride · December 2013

I am 32 and I hear you! I still think "are we really ready for this?!" every once in a while.

iris427 · December 2013

A first baby is a huge change, no matter your age. Don't compare yourself to others. Most of us are just figuring it out as we go along, even the moms you see on Facebook who seem like they're perfect. It can feel overwhelming, but you'll get the hang of it and be just fine.

nicole336 · December 2013

I'm a FTM and 30 (I'll be 31 when baby comes). IF robbed me of my chance to have children in my 20s but I'm so excited to finally be pregnant that I'm trying to just embrace it.

michellexm · December 2013

First timer in my early 30s, too! I didn't start trying for kids until this fall because of other commitments (school, work, etc.). Many of my friends haven't had kids yet either, but I started getting nervous about the potential for infertility if we waited too long.

My mom had me, her only, at 40....I'm confident we can do this!

I do still have many days where I think "what the heck am I doing?!" though. This will be a big lifestyle change, but worth it.

1982Babies · December 2013

31 here! Welcome

JMSbaby2014 · December 2013

I'm 32 and I cannot imagine having even ready for this, mentally or financially in my 20's- plus my 20's were a blast I'm glad I had some time to enjoy being grown up before settling down and starting a family

Hollyhelton · December 2013

I'm 35 & not a first time mom but I feel like it. My youngest is 8 I have 4 dd's. I have to say pregnancy is so much harder then in my early 20's! I'm an emotional physical train wreak:(. I'm so sorry all if you feel uckie! I'd be fibbing if I said didn't find hope and comfort in I'm not the only one. We tried for a long time to get pregnant and I'm shocked at how different pregnancy is in my 30's:(

unaveragejane · December 2013

I was 31 when DS was born. I taught elementary school children with intense special needs for 9 years before that, so I thought surely I could be cool under pressure with my own kid. Hot snot, it was like I had never met a child before in my life. I felt like a total idiot for the first 4 months or so. The funny thing is, we had 2 cousins where were pregnant at the same time as me; one a FTM in her early 20's, and the other a STM about my age. All three of us struggled with different things and handled each issue a little bit differently.

ladylutzow15 · December 2013

I'm 31 and a FTM too. Definitely learning new things everyday. Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself for over thinking little things when it comes to being pregnant. I'm trying to enjoy the journey. This message board certainly helps though. I love to hear about everyones experiences and different perspectives

rboisvert · December 2013

unaveragejane said:

I was 31 when DS was born. I taught elementary school children with intense special needs for 9 years before that, so I thought surely I could be cool under pressure with my own kid. Hot snot, it was like I had never met a child before in my life. I felt like a total idiot for the first 4 months or so. The funny thing is, we had 2 cousins where were pregnant at the same time as me; one a FTM in her early 20's, and the other a STM about my age. All three of us struggled with different things and handled each issue a little bit differently.

I turned 30 just 5 weeks after I had DD. I also am a special ed teacher for preschoolers with really intense needs. 1 baby was going to be a breeze. Hah! I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't deal with DD crying but as soon as DH would take her I'd snatch her back because I couldn't stand her crying with anyone else. What shocked me was how her crying wrecked me physiologically. I FELT crazy when she would cry. This pg has been a bit easier on me (really sick feeling but only threw up twice this time around) but I'm betting 3rd tri kicks my ass hard.

I would have loved to have been a mom in my 20's but I think being in my 30's has helped me be more confident in my choices as a parent and stand up to others who think they should have an opinion (MIL).

keshupe29 · December 2013

FTM and almost 32! Can't imagine having a baby in my 20s!

mamaloaf · December 2013

I'll be 30 when the baby is due and I really can't imagine having a child any earlier than this. DH pointed out yesterday that his mother had 4 boys by the time she was my age. Now THAT I cannot imagine.

PregsMcSnoozalot · December 2013

34 here. i actually always wanted to be a "young mom", but things don't always work out how you plan...

BoraBoraBaby · December 2013

32 and FTM. There is no magical age but we will all get the hang of this mommy thing in no time! As well as we can anyway since no one is perfect

Kimmi1982 · December 2013

31 here, will be 32 a month after baby is here.

jjbaby14 · December 2013

First timer here, I'm 30...will be 31 when LO arrives. I feel totally clueless too...and honestly I've been feeling so sick that it's been hard to "enjoy" feeling pregnant so far. I hope that feeling comes soon!! Just started my 12th week so hopefully the sickness calms down...

I'm sure you will all be wonderful mothers!

jalicenixon · December 2013

I am FTM who is 36...I am having the same fears, anxiety and concerns voiced above. I actually feel like it might be physically harder in my thirties than it would have been in my 20's. I also feel settled into a life & a adding a baby at this stage will be a huge adjustment. Having said all of that...I am so excited and know my life without be complete without sharing my love with a child. I know a lot will change but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

lamarei · December 2013

32, will be 33 when LO arrives. I think younger moms "do" pregnancy better, maybe they just have more energy, bodily resilience? Lol. I see younger people running circles around me. I try not to compare, but I feel like I should be able to be pregnant better than what I am

my husband and I just had a go around today because he figured since all my friends have had kids I knew exactly what was happening/going to happen. Ummmm, no. Freaking out daily here!

DarlingCakes · December 2013

So happy to see all these 30's! I'm 31 and a ftm, will be 32 when the babe comes

Moroccogal · December 2013

I'm 34 and will be 35 when baby arrives. I don't have a clue what's going on but am happy to experience the journey.
Travelling, selfishness and career all took priority until recently and am so happy I got a lot of that out of my system. I definitely feel ready to start this new chapter of my life.

purplekuda · December 2013

I'm also a FTM and 31. It does seem like it's more difficult at this age than in your twenties, but I'm sure we will all do great once this nausea and fatigue passes...

blacktie3 · December 2013

Moroccogal said:

I'm 34 and will be 35 when baby arrives. I don't have a clue what's going on but am happy to experience the journey. Travelling, selfishness and career all took priority until recently and am so happy I got a lot of that out of my system. I definitely feel ready to start this new chapter of my life.

You sound just like me HAHAH! Same age and everything !

unaveragejane · December 2013

rboisvert said:

unaveragejane said:

I was 31 when DS was born. I taught elementary school children with intense special needs for 9 years before that, so I thought surely I could be cool under pressure with my own kid. Hot snot, it was like I had never met a child before in my life. I felt like a total idiot for the first 4 months or so. The funny thing is, we had 2 cousins where were pregnant at the same time as me; one a FTM in her early 20's, and the other a STM about my age. All three of us struggled with different things and handled each issue a little bit differently.

I turned 30 just 5 weeks after I had DD. I also am a special ed teacher for preschoolers with really intense needs. 1 baby was going to be a breeze. Hah! I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't deal with DD crying but as soon as DH would take her I'd snatch her back because I couldn't stand her crying with anyone else. What shocked me was how her crying wrecked me physiologically. I FELT crazy when she would cry. This pg has been a bit easier on me (really sick feeling but only threw up twice this time around) but I'm betting 3rd tri kicks my ass hard.
I would have loved to have been a mom in my 20's but I think being in my 30's has helped me be more confident in my choices as a parent and stand up to others who think they should have an opinion (MIL).

This was my experience, too! One kid should be such a walk in the park, right?! I wound up with PPA, and I had panic attacks several times b/c I couldn't get DS to stop crying but couldn't bear to let anyone else take care of him. One time DH was holding him and DS started choking. I literally dove across the room and yanked him out of DH's hands with wild-eyed terror. I felt so bad and apologized to DH afterward, but he understood. Thankfully things got easier when we realized he had reflux and got treatment for that!

unaveragejane · December 2013

The other hard part about having LO's in your 30's is that you've had longer to adjust to life without them. (At least, that was how it was for me.) I remember being terrified for a while that I would never have my "normal" life back. I cried for days about not being able to watch movies in bed with DH or sleep late on weekends. It took a while, but thankfully the things that I enjoyed pre-DS are back in my life again, for the most part.

Soon2BEddings · December 2013

I'm a FTM. I just turned 33 on Christmas and I feel like I am dumb a a box of rocks when it comes to this pregnancy ANDDDD we found out at 7 weeks we were having TWINS

SMMama726 · December 2013

FTM I'm 31 . I think Tia is the perfect time to be pregnant. I've traveled the world, had a crapload of fun, I'm set in my career, financially stable, homeowner, married.... I don't have any regrets. I enjoyed my 20"s. I'm ready I start my family. Being pregnant in your early teens/20's might be easier on your body but I guarantee that it comes with a whole other set of problems... That being financial, relationship instability, educational, career goals or lack of , regrets of living it up. I'm happy with my decision to wait until my 30's !!

LuluPMW · December 2013

I'm 34 and feel like we're we're flying by the seats of our pants. We enjoyed our 20s and built a solid 11 year marriage, so I'm also confident that we are as ready as can be. Funny thing is, I can't wait to have grandchildren!!!

biglewzer · December 2013

I was a FTM at 30 and now a STM at 33

Sometimes I get jealous of the younger moms when I do the math, or see my brother with his kids (he was a younger dad). But then I remember how I was at 23/25 and I'm pretty sure the entire country is happy I wasn't reproducing.

Thirtyodd · December 2013

Im 36 and gave birth in March this year to our DD, before this I had only changed a nappy once before and it was a disaster!

That was then, but right now I can set her on my knee, hold her with one hand and change the nappy with the other hand and I could probably do it blindfolded too, well that's an exaggeration lol but yeah the past 9-10 months have been a real learning curve for me and honestly right now it just comes naturally having done it day in day out for months all by myself. I had no help whatsoever right from the start and although I found it tough I look back now and think wow I really surprised myself how well I coped with absolutely no previous experience of looking after a baby at all.

You cope, you will learn. For the first few months I'd go to bed thinking how badly things had went that day and there were days when I'd just sit and cry but one day something just clicked into place- I bathed her and she didn't cry!, and that one moment made me realise that I can do it and I have done it and knowing I have looked after her all by myself for this length of time feels amazing.

My fiancé and I live together but he didn't help as he was away at work all day and even worked a lot of weekends etc just to try to further himself in his job. It's all paid off now as he has been offered a better job and we are moving to a different city in the new year.

You really do cope, don't be hard on yourself when you get things wrong, you will get things wrong but that's normal everyone does this.

For what it's worth I'm glad I waited until I was in my thirties, I have no desire to go out partying anymore lol.

biglewzer · December 2013

I had a lot of days pp where I said to myself, "OMG what have I done? I want my life back."

It wasn't really regret, just the enormity of realizing that there is no going back.

ChrisB · December 2013

Yep, turned 39 this month. I think one advantage to being this age and having my first is that I am probably a lot calmer than I would have been even 5 years ago. I think I'm pretty relaxed considering I have no idea what I'm doing. On the other hand, we would love to have more children but do I want to do that considering our ages (my boyfriend is 37...actually fiancé, but I hate that word). Decisions, decisions...

Thirtyodd · December 2013

ChrisB we are both 36 and I'm preggo with number 2 and this is definitely our last!

Tena7583 · December 2013

FTM at 30 will be 31 when baby comes. Up until the day I got my bfp I said I couldn't even imagine having a child. I was too comfy in my own life going to work, hanging out with friends and having a lovely relationship with my red wine!! It was a shock to realize that my life is going to change so drastically but now that I've had some time to take it all in I'm SO EXCITED! What a blessing

sherita461972 · December 2013

HunterandAndrea said:

I'm a first time mom in my 30s. I see all these 20 something's with babies and I don't know how they do it. This has been such a confusing, frustrating, painful, exhausting experience already - and I feel like I should be able to handle this by my age. Instead I'm a zoo. And have no pregnant friends here and could use some

I'm a FT(pregnant)M [We adopted two kids out of the foster care system] too! And I'm 41. I completely exhausted, confused & frustrated by why my body is getting taken over by the body snatchers & the different pain are freaking me out (I think my Dr is ready to slap me lol)!

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