Baby and FB (or other social media)

msBlackandGold · December 2013

Well, MIL took the pics down! :-D I didn't get an e mail from FB so I can only assume she did it herself (finally).

Have you all addressed or thought about how you will handle your kids, FB and other people posting pics?

Meandthey · December 2013

It doesn't bother me if someone posts Something I just would like a heads up first. My fb an other social media is all private anyways so people can only see what I let them see.

bumpuser9058414 · December 2013

I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.

katykatykaty · December 2013

Berry30 said:

I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.

This. My parents and my MIL aren't on Facebook, so I haven't really had to worry about other people posting pictures of DD yet. I went through my friends list and unfriended people I didn't know, so I'm comfortable with my "Friends" seeing the few pictures I choose to share.

ktlucas · December 2013

This is such a crazy story...

My friend is a professional photographer. She took photos of my niece when she was born. Apparently last week a woman stole the copyrighted photo from the photographers website/blog, she posted it on her own fb as her own daughter. She did this with other copyrighted photos, another photographer reached out to my friend to notify her of this. My friend messaged her to tell her legal rights are being violated and to remove the photo. This crazy lady starts arguing with her saying she won't remove it because it is her daughter! The photo was reported and has been removed and this account is disabled, thank goodness. And it was a baby naked butt photo too. I just cannot believe people's intentions!!

Settings on private do help but I am going to be cautious of what is put out there. Just keep that in mind if you get professional photos done. Most photographers should have you sign a release to use your pictures for their advertising. To generate business they need to show their work. But for this to happen it's so crazy.

SmittyPants · December 2013

I was going to not post pics of my daughter, but then she was born and I just felt it wasn't right to deprive people of all that adorableness. ;-)

Kidding aside, it's really a great way for us to share pictures of her with friends and family we see infrequently. I don't have random people on my FB. They are all people with whom I have a current relationship. I know some have everyone they've ever met in their entire lives as FB friends and if that were true of me, I wouldn't post very much.

It's really all about your comfort level. Just make sure to set your page to private.

katykatykaty · December 2013

katykatykaty said:

Berry30 said:

I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.
This. My parents and my MIL aren't on Facebook, so I haven't really had to worry about other people posting pictures of DD yet. I went through my friends list and unfriended people I didn't know, so I'm comfortable with my "Friends" seeing the few pictures I choose to share.

I just remembered that DD is my avatar photo and that I've posted other pictures of her on here. Oh well.

jandt2009 · December 2013

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.

nlane0723 · December 2013

Berry30 said:
I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.

This. I'm only friends with people I know and trust. My settings are also private and I'm pretty sure I'm not searchable either.

katykatykaty · December 2013

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.

I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?

pattipants · December 2013

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?

I feel naive; I don't understand the big deal with having baby and kid pics on FB. Is this, like, "To Catch a Predator" stuff?

jandt2009 · December 2013

I guess for me the part I don't like is that it gives people access to pictures of your kid and their location.
Sorry, I think I made it out to be a bigger deal in my last post than I meant it to be. I just think it makes sense to turn off the location services just so that it isn't available.

ktlucas · December 2013

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?

What harm would it do? There are plenty of sick people out in this world. You never really know what someone else is thinking or planning. It only takes one second for something terrible to occur. I like to walk down the street thinking people aren't watching me either but then again I got mugged at gunpoint. No matter how safe you feel it does not necessarily me that you are. I believe the point she was making is why make it easy for someone to gain access to your personal information.

htn1763 · December 2013

I don't really see how a picture on fb makes your kid anymore of a target than any other kid walking down the street. I'm not going to put nude photos of them in the bath or anything like that, but like others have said, I don't understand the big deal.

pepperedmoth · December 2013

I've said it before and I'll say it again....

....the VAST VAST VAST majority of children are kidnapped/assaulted/molested by someone the family knows and trusts, not by random internet creepers.

That said I don't plan to plaster my kid all over social media, either. Mostly because it's tacky as hell.

Does anyone else here read "STFU parents"? It is my goal to NEVER BE ON THERE.

mfarmer0811 · December 2013

ktlucas said:

This is such a crazy story...
My friend is a professional photographer. She took photos of my niece when she was born. Apparently last week a woman stole the copyrighted photo from the photographers website/blog, she posted it on her own fb as her own daughter. She did this with other copyrighted photos, another photographer reached out to my friend to notify her of this. My friend messaged her to tell her legal rights are being violated and to remove the photo. This crazy lady starts arguing with her saying she won't remove it because it is her daughter! The photo was reported and has been removed and this account is disabled, thank goodness. And it was a baby naked butt photo too. I just cannot believe people's intentions!!
Settings on private do help but I am going to be cautious of what is put out there. Just keep that in mind if you get professional photos done. Most photographers should have you sign a release to use your pictures for their advertising. To generate business they need to show their work. But for this to happen it's so crazy.

Similar story:
I have a photog. friend, and she is very open about her family life and blogs quite about about her family. I see no harm in it....however, when the Sandy Hook shooting happened, there was a picture of her daughter as an infant circulating around Facebook and other media outlets claiming that was one of the victims as a baby. It was very upsetting to her, but she contacted the appropriate people, and it was taken down pretty quickly.

katykatykaty · December 2013

ktlucas said:

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?
What harm would it do? There are plenty of sick people out in this world. You never really know what someone else is thinking or planning. It only takes one second for something terrible to occur. I like to walk down the street thinking people aren't watching me either but then again I got mugged at gunpoint. No matter how safe you feel it does not necessarily me that you are. I believe the point she was making is why make it easy for someone to gain access to your personal information.

I guess I choose not to live my life thinking like that.

AriaAmante143 · December 2013

My Facebook is set to private and my friends list is contained to people I actually know (most of which already have kids), so I know we will post photos every now and again.

My grievance isn't really a safety issue, but just the annoying factor. I have a FB friend that posts 20-25 photos of her stepdaughter every single day, no matter what they're doing. Every outfit, every time they're in the car, every little thing they do she takes a picture and posts it. It's also rumored she does what she does to rub her relationship with SD in the nose of the bio mom, but that's another story entirely. I think it's fine to share kid photos on Facebook, but I don't need to see hundreds and hundreds of pictures of your kids riding in the car.

ktlucas · December 2013

katykatykaty said:

ktlucas said:

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?
What harm would it do? There are plenty of sick people out in this world. You never really know what someone else is thinking or planning. It only takes one second for something terrible to occur. I like to walk down the street thinking people aren't watching me either but then again I got mugged at gunpoint. No matter how safe you feel it does not necessarily me that you are. I believe the point she was making is why make it easy for someone to gain access to your personal information.
I guess I choose not to live my life thinking like that.

I wish I could, but growing up in the inner city you see and experience a lot of things that change they way you perceive the world. A bubble would be nice.

PerkyErky · December 2013

In general I don't have any issues with my friends and family posting pictures (especially if they took them) of my kid. However we have certain people who are not allowed to post pictures of our son and we check frequently. I don't have location services on when I take pics with my phone, but really someone would just need to google search and they could find me. It's not hard to find people who are "on the grid". There are predators and creepers everywhere, online and in real life. I can't live my life paranoid all the time, I can however teach my kids about personal safety and online "smarts".

ndpoole · December 2013

mfarmer0811 said:

ktlucas said:

This is such a crazy story...
My friend is a professional photographer. She took photos of my niece when she was born. Apparently last week a woman stole the copyrighted photo from the photographers website/blog, she posted it on her own fb as her own daughter. She did this with other copyrighted photos, another photographer reached out to my friend to notify her of this. My friend messaged her to tell her legal rights are being violated and to remove the photo. This crazy lady starts arguing with her saying she won't remove it because it is her daughter! The photo was reported and has been removed and this account is disabled, thank goodness. And it was a baby naked butt photo too. I just cannot believe people's intentions!!
Settings on private do help but I am going to be cautious of what is put out there. Just keep that in mind if you get professional photos done. Most photographers should have you sign a release to use your pictures for their advertising. To generate business they need to show their work. But for this to happen it's so crazy.

Similar story:
I have a photog. friend, and she is very open about her family life and blogs quite about about her family. I see no harm in it....however, when the Sandy Hook shooting happened, there was a picture of her daughter as an infant circulating around Facebook and other media outlets claiming that was one of the victims as a baby. It was very upsetting to her, but she contacted the appropriate people, and it was taken down pretty quickly.

This and also you can control what you out out there but can't control hat friends/family post is why I cancelled my FB account.

msBlackandGold · December 2013

For me, it's more of a control thing. I want to control what pics of my kids are on FB. I can control my privacy settings, but I can't control everyone's settings.

I also want to be able to look at a pic and think, "If I were 16 yr old DD, would I want this out for public to see?" And decide to put it up or not. Some people would put up unflattering pics (like DD having her fist down her throat) and not think about how she would feel at 16 yrs old and anyone having access to it.

I don't "ban" fb pics...and obviously if we are at a party and she's there, I understand her being in those types of pictures.

My feelings also came from CIL posting DD's birth pic before I was out of recovery...and HER friends showed up at the hospital before I was able to call my own brother to come. Then she also posted a pic that I had texted the family. My thought was, if I share a pic via text or email...don't put the pic on FB.

Nickiechan · December 2013

My, DHs and both of my mother's and MIL are set to private... only their friends are able to see them. I also know everyone on my friends list... and only friend people I know. My MIL post photos of DS and I'm ok with it. She also shares photos that I post. I don't see anything wrong with posting DS on facebook. DH and I both have family members we don't see often or are out of state and this is how we keep in touch. They LOVE seeing photos of DS and what we have been doing. I am also involved in the babywearing community locally through facebook so I post in my group babywearing photos of my DS and myself. I really don't have an issue with it.

PerkyErky "I can't live my life paranoid all the time, I can however teach my kids about personal safety and online "smarts"." Nothing on the internet is anonymous anymore...

htn1763 · December 2013

ktlucas said:

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?

What harm would it do? There are plenty of sick people out in this world. You never really know what someone else is thinking or planning. It only takes one second for something terrible to occur. I like to walk down the street thinking people aren't watching me either but then again I got mugged at gunpoint. No matter how safe you feel it does not necessarily me that you are. I believe the point she was making is why make it easy for someone to gain access to your personal information.

Are you saying you were targeted because of something you posted online? Or was it just a random crime? I'm sorry this happened to you but I'm guessing it was a random crime. I don't see what online posting has to do with it.

msBlackandGold · December 2013

schlanderer2005 said:

I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.
This. I'm only friends with people I know and trust. My settings are also private and I'm pretty sure I'm not searchable either.

OK---you don't care if people on your friend's list see pics of your kids...what about other people posting pics of your kids? ILs, cousins, friends, etc?

msBlackandGold · December 2013

PerkyErky said:

In general I don't have any issues with my friends and family posting pictures (especially if they took them) of my kid. However we have certain people who are not allowed to post pictures of our son and we check frequently. I don't have location services on when I take pics with my phone, but really someone would just need to google search and they could find me. It's not hard to find people who are "on the grid". There are predators and creepers everywhere, online and in real life. I can't live my life paranoid all the time, I can however teach my kids about personal safety and online "smarts".

How did you decide on the "certain people" who are not allowed to post pics? And how did they deal with the news that they are being "singled out" as a person who can't post?

ktlucas · December 2013

htn1763 said:

ktlucas said:

katykatykaty said:

jandt2009 said:

My concern with photos loaded onto social media/the internet is more about the information you are giving out. I try to not be crazy obsessive about it but the idea freaks me out. I can't find the news story that I saw that talks abouy this but it is very easy for people to find out about your kid from your photos if your location/GPS settings are on. This can include their daycare location, which parks you play at, and where exactly in your house the nursery is. I think that most moms don't realize that they are also posting their child's location when they upload pictures.
I don't really get this... All someone would have to do is drive by our house and see that we have an infant swing in our front yard and know that we have a kid. How is having your location dangerous? I agree that the idea is kind of creepy, but I'd like to think that nobody is stalking me watching which parks we play at. And even if they were, what harm would it do?

What harm would it do? There are plenty of sick people out in this world. You never really know what someone else is thinking or planning. It only takes one second for something terrible to occur. I like to walk down the street thinking people aren't watching me either but then again I got mugged at gunpoint. No matter how safe you feel it does not necessarily me that you are. I believe the point she was making is why make it easy for someone to gain access to your personal information.

Are you saying you were targeted because of something you posted online? Or was it just a random crime? I'm sorry this happened to you but I'm guessing it was a random crime. I don't see what online posting has to do with it.

It was a random crime not fb related. Her comment was what harm can it cause. My point was that there are sick people out there that you never know what they are thinking or planning on doing.

lalaith50 · December 2013

msBlackandGold said:

For me, it's more of a control thing. I want to control what pics of my kids are on FB. I can control my privacy settings, but I can't control everyone's settings.

I also want to be able to look at a pic and think, "If I were 16 yr old DD, would I want this out for public to see?" And decide to put it up or not. Some people would put up unflattering pics (like DD having her fist down her throat) and not think about how she would feel at 16 yrs old and anyone having access to it.

I don't "ban" fb pics...and obviously if we are at a party and she's there, I understand her being in those types of pictures.

My feelings also came from CIL posting DD's birth pic before I was out of recovery...and HER friends showed up at the hospital before I was able to call my own brother to come. Then she also posted a pic that I had texted the family. My thought was, if I share a pic via text or email...don't put the pic on FB.

This is my biggest hesitation. For most of us (all?), there wasn't "social media" via the internet when we were growing up, and the extent of baby and teenage pictures of us is in our parent's photo albums or the annual picture in our yearbook. But what's it going to be like for our kids? Are they going to hate us for having documented their every sneeze on the internet? Or on the other hand, if you choose to be the parent who keeps internet pictures to a minimum, are they going to be the "weird" ones b/c in 15 years everyone will have had a facebook page that their parents made from them at their birth?! (even though that's not allowed.)

aracelyluna · December 2013

I post of pictures of DS all the time. More when he was younger then now, but they are posted at least once a week. My mom, sister, SIL, MIL post as well. I have no issue with it because we all know not post pictures of him naked etc. My FB is set to private and it has been a great way to share photos with our family. I think this is just one of those things that you will have to decide for your family. Some of us will post more some none at all.

katykatykaty · December 2013

pepperedmoth said:

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... ....the VAST VAST VAST majority of children are kidnapped/assaulted/molested by someone the family knows and trusts, not by random internet creepers. That said I don't plan to plaster my kid all over social media, either. Mostly because it's tacky as hell. Does anyone else here read "STFU parents"? It is my goal to NEVER BE ON THERE.

@pepperedmoth I do! I love it.

miramirror · December 2013

To those who set their settings to private: How many FB "friends" do you have? And how do you keep up with FB's changing privacy settings? I just find that--as FB quietly changes their policies constantly--private accounts suddenly become more public without warning. (Just thinking about the fact that it's no longer possible to opt out of search, for example.)

I do have hundreds of FB "friends" (mostly industry colleagues and acquaintances) and I just feel uncomfortable sharing the most intimate, important part of my life with all of them. My friend list definitely includes some professional rivals and frenemies and I hate the idea that people who don't entirely wish me well might be seeing pictures of DS and judging.

But then again, I'm an old lady Luddite. I just have an email list of a few friends and family who have actively opted in and asked to see regular family pictures. That way I can be sure that I'm not annoying the crap out of people with overshares and also feel comfortable that only the dozen or so people I trust to see those kinds of images do.

Out of curiosity (again, keeping in mind that you're talking to someone who doesn't keep up technologically): Why is it easier to post the pics to FB or Instagram or whatever? What's the advantage over just a small email list if the intention is to keep the pics somewhat private? Educate me, please!

babylimas · December 2013

I don't care about posting on FB. I put up pictures of my kid all the time. In fact, I created a FB group just to update people on this baby. So he will be plastered all over the place.

And yet I'm way more private on here than most of y'all.

ktlucas · December 2013

My sister does not have a fb account but she did create a Shutterfly secure site that requires a password to view. This is how she shares her photos with friends & family. The site sends a monthly email to those registered and they are able to log in and see her pictures. I think this is a good idea, most of our older family members are not on fb but have an email address. And this way its only shared with those you would like to have access.

PerkyErky · December 2013

msBlackandGold said:

PerkyErky said:

In general I don't have any issues with my friends and family posting pictures (especially if they took them) of my kid. However we have certain people who are not allowed to post pictures of our son and we check frequently. I don't have location services on when I take pics with my phone, but really someone would just need to google search and they could find me. It's not hard to find people who are "on the grid". There are predators and creepers everywhere, online and in real life. I can't live my life paranoid all the time, I can however teach my kids about personal safety and online "smarts".

How did you decide on the "certain people" who are not allowed to post pics? And how did they deal with the news that they are being "singled out" as a person who can't post?

My son's bio mother is not allowed to post pictures of him and in fact the only pictures she gets she gets from her mother. She is not allowed to have contact with him (at this point) due to her drug use and severe neglect she subjected him to. She has chosen to cut off contact, she canceled her supervised visits, changed her emails and phone numbers, and we have no idea where she even lives (she is in another state). She doesn't get to play the caring bereaved mother on fb with pictures of my son (that I took) to garner sympathy from her "friends". She has had no contact with him in over 2 years and has rebuffed every attempt we ever made to keep her updated on DS. She continues to use drugs and spiral out of control, the majority of her friends on fb are drug users and in and out of jail regularly. Her parental rights have also been terminated for her neglect and abandonment of DS. All her stuff on fb is public as well. She was pissed when I had the pictures of DS removed from her page and called me all kinds of names. I told her if she ever wanted to know how DS was doing or wanted a picture for herself she knew how to contact me and I would give her updates and actual pictures. She responded "I don't want any contact" and then either delete that email acct or blocked mine from contacting her.

ETA: the only person from bio mother's side of the family who has our permission to post or share picks of DS is her mother. DS biological maternal grandmother makes tons of effort to stay involved with him and we have no issues with that. But bio mom's siblings and stuff are not in contact so we also periodically check their stuff as well. None of them have ever posted any pics of DS that we know of.

clo1982 · December 2013

I don't have any issues posting pics of DD on facebook. I'm not a big FB person to begin with so really the only thing I do is periodically post pics. It keeps family that is out of town and long distant friends in the loop. I don't have a massive friend list or anything and have never had an issue with people posting pics of her. As in, no one has ever done so. I think as long as they were appropriate though, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I guess if I had a hostile relationship with someone in the family it may be an issue though.

WoodShopGirl · December 2013

I am with the "I don't mind I have my FB private" crowd, but I also will make a conscious effort not to overdue it. I have friends who post 6 pictures a day and it just drives me nuts.

The only time I post pics of myself is when I am with people I don't see often or on vacation or during the holidays with family all together. I have a feeling that is when LO will show up too.

That being said MH HATES FB. He gets mad if I post a picture that includes him and I think he may feel the same way about LO....Yet another thing to discuss.

BrideNamedMeg · December 2013

I'm fine posting pictures of my kids online, but I am selective about what I post (no naked/embarrassing pictures, etc.). Since I use my Facebook page to connect with clients I don't really have it locked down at all, just about anyone can see just about anything on my page and I always keep that in mind when deciding what I put out there.

A lot of my nicer pictures of them are watermarked and I wouldn't mind doing a quick watermark on everything just to minimize the stolen picture issue, but I think the chances are pretty small anyway so I haven't made it a priority.

miramirror · December 2013

DisneyAddict1 said:

I don't mind DS being on FB as I have my account private. I have a huge family and FB is the easiest and fastest way for us to keep in contact instead of e-mail. I suppose if we had a smaller family to share pictures with we could go that route but we're huge. This "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" huge. You can set FB picture privacy to not allow your pictures to be shared by anyone but you. What I do is if we are at a bday party or playdate and someone posts a pictures that DS just happened to be in and tags me I untag myself if it is someone that I do not know how private their account is.

My husbands grandmother while she can e-mail she only has dial-up so every couple months I print pictures off to mail to her. But she is the only one that I do that for.

A friend of mine does not like posting pictures of her DS on FB at all. But she realizes that she can't control if he happens to get in a picture while at a party or something and just makes sure she or her DH are not tagged in them.

Okay, you have no obligation to teach me about FB at all, but curious if you know: Often I will see pictures in my feed from people I am not friends with. They show up because someone on my friends list has commented on the picture. Is that because the original poster didn't have their photo settings as private?

I guess I just feel like it's so hard to keep track of the shifting status of these sites. For instance, years ago, MH and I created a Flickr account that had to be signed into to share pics with friends and family when we moved far away. I hadn't thought about that account for years until my MH got a promotion at work and his company issued a press release. Apparently rather than ask for a professional headshot, someone in his company's PR department found that photo feed (which had since automatically become public--I guess Flickr made you actively opt out to stay private and password-protected at some point) and used a personal photograph of MH on vacation. There was nothing wrong with that particular photo per se, but there were definitely photos in that stream that I wouldn't have willingly shared with MH's work and the wider world. I just think about handing over these pics of DS to FB under today's privacy policies...only to find out 10 years from now, when FB has gone the way of Flickr, that they are totally public. DS would have no say over what parts of his babyhood are shared with anybody and everybody.

But I guess this is just the way the world is going to be and DS won't mind at all?

liamandlettie · December 2013

katykatykaty said:

katykatykaty said:

Berry30 said:

I have my settings on private and I don't care if people on my friends list see pictures of my kids.
This. My parents and my MIL aren't on Facebook, so I haven't really had to worry about other people posting pictures of DD yet. I went through my friends list and unfriended people I didn't know, so I'm comfortable with my "Friends" seeing the few pictures I choose to share.

I just remembered that DD is my avatar photo and that I've posted other pictures of her on here. Oh well.

She's adorable btw!!!

SmittyPants · December 2013

miramirror said:

To those who set their settings to private: How many FB "friends" do you have? And how do you keep up with FB's changing privacy settings? I just find that--as FB quietly changes their policies constantly--private accounts suddenly become more public without warning. (Just thinking about the fact that it's no longer possible to opt out of search, for example.)

I do have hundreds of FB "friends" (mostly industry colleagues and acquaintances) and I just feel uncomfortable sharing the most intimate, important part of my life with all of them. My friend list definitely includes some professional rivals and frenemies and I hate the idea that people who don't entirely wish me well might be seeing pictures of DS and judging.

But then again, I'm an old lady Luddite. I just have an email list of a few friends and family who have actively opted in and asked to see regular family pictures. That way I can be sure that I'm not annoying the crap out of people with overshares and also feel comfortable that only the dozen or so people I trust to see those kinds of images do.

Out of curiosity (again, keeping in mind that you're talking to someone who doesn't keep up technologically): Why is it easier to post the pics to FB or Instagram or whatever? What's the advantage over just a small email list if the intention is to keep the pics somewhat private? Educate me, please!

I have about 50 people on my FB. They're all family and current friends. I've never used FB as a professional tool and I don't keep acquaintances on FB- I just don't see the point. I use FB instead of email because I just feel weird emailing photos. To me, it's more "Look at my kid!!" than just posting on FB. About once a month I'll check my privacy settings to make sure they haven't changed,

katykatykaty · December 2013

@jenniemac2000 Thank you! We think so, too.

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