Stupid Things To Fight About 4: The Return

EmeJay · December 2013

Because some people BULLIED me into making this thread, here's this week subject:

Do you look through your SO personal stuff and do you think it's okay?

mmb248 · December 2013

I said yes and he knows about it but I don't think he has anything that he considers personal stuff. A fun afternoon for us is him working on farm equipment while I sit on the tractor and read his FB/emails to him.

jcsumm0 · December 2013

Maybe I'm dense, but what do you mean by "personal stuff"?

EmeJay · December 2013

Sometime I take his phone while he sits next to me and go through his picture. It's usually boring stuff like the engine of his car. Wow.

My BFF can't believe I would do that or let my Facebook oppened on his computer. I don't care.

wishiwaspreggo · December 2013

I pop on DP's phone once in a while to read her texts - but it's not from suspicion. She's just the first to get gossip from our region friends, usually, so I check up on it if I hear her phone pinging and she's not around.

Other than that, her stuff's my stuff and vice versa. Nothing to hide here

EmeJay · December 2013

jcsumm0 said:

Maybe I'm dense, but what do you mean by "personal stuff"?

His phone, Facebook, emails?

KingLED · December 2013

Even in a relationship people need to have some sense of privacy. His things are his unless he shares them with me. Same with my things being mine.

**The one exclusion being candy. We will look through EVERYTHING (and ignore anything not edible) to see if the other is hiding candy. PS: One of us is usually hiding candy. It's more a fun game than it is snooping through each others things, though.

ETA: After reading other responses, I think I might have lied? I said no it's none of my business, but I have access to all his accounts on my phone and computer. And he has access to all my accounts on his phone and computer. We regularly have the other check what the notifications are for on our phones and if they're emails/text messages to read them to us and then respond if needed. However, I've never taken it upon myself to do this without him asking me to unless he's in the shower and can't get to the phone. But even then I usually just look who it's from and tell him to see what he wants me to do.

But I still would never get on his computer/phone with the intention of looking for dirt on him. Or anything of that sort. That seems beyond wrong to me.

EmeJay · December 2013

EllyD14 said:

Even in a relationship people need to have some sense of privacy. His things are his unless he shares them with me. Same with my things being mine.

**The one exclusion being candy. We will look through EVERYTHING (and ignore anything not edible) to see if the other is hiding candy. PS: One of us is usually hiding candy. It's more a fun game than it is snooping through each others things, though.

I keep telling my SO that in our next house, I'll get a locked cabinet to put my candy and other junk food. This man is a garbage disposal, ugh!

MMason12 · December 2013

I have never ever considered going through my husband's "personal stuff" whatever that means, lol. There isn't a single that either one of us own that the other person cannot get into or go through. There are things that as his that I just don't mess with because I have no desire to, but could care less if I did.

sister13 · December 2013

EmeJay said:

Because some people BULLIED me into making this thread, here's this week subject: Do you look through your SO personal stuff and do you think it's okay?

I was thinking maybe wicker vs teak patio furniture... because it's so controversial & divisive!

Aaaaand, that's why you are responsible for this thread!

EmeJay · December 2013

sister13 said:

EmeJay said:

Because some people BULLIED me into making this thread, here's this week subject: Do you look through your SO personal stuff and do you think it's okay?

I was thinking maybe wicker vs teak patio furniture... because it's so controversial & divisive!

Aaaaand, that's why you are responsible for this thread!

Bahaha! I seriously had NO IDEA - This came to mind because of my BFF who has on one hand major trust issues in her SO but would never show him her phone.

Weirdos.

I'm so bad at hiding the smallest thing to my dude, that I CONFESSED to him the minute I got in his car last Friday when he came to get me at my Xmas party, that I danced with the cutest boss at the office.

ClaireHuxtable · December 2013

We're pretty much open books in our household. I have access, but have no desire to rummage through anything of his - personal or not. We pretty much mind our own business and do our best to respect the other's privacy. He won't go digging around in my purse and I don't go scavenging in his pockets.

Spookster · December 2013

Unintentionally - If I cant find my phone I will use his if its open on something I will read it/look at it and then close out of what he was doing and go about my business.

jcsumm0 · December 2013

I've never looked through his stuff with the intention of finding something out, but I see his facebook/phone/email all the time just because we have one computer and so we're always logging the other person out to check our own stuff. Neither of us have smart phones and he mostly only uses his cell phone for work, but I've gone through his text messages to delete them for him when his inbox was full before.

amberhoothoot · December 2013

I have looked through DH's stuff before because he really doesn't care but it's sooo boring.

I found a diary he kept while he lived in Paris for 6 months and I was like "for sure there has to be some dirt here"... Nope, it was a list of all the places he visited and who he got drunk with in which bars. I asked him about it and he laughed that i thought there would actually be juicy stuff in there. He's an open book.

Personal things like cell phones, computers, email ... we always have access but rarely check them unless I'm posting a pic of DS from his phone to FB or something.

Now our money, we keep separate. It makes us both feel like we have some autonomy.

easilyunamused · December 2013

I'll see if there's any exciting texts he has, but only because I'm extremely nosy. Like somewhat have a problem. It's not like I do anything with the gossip I here, I just want to know EVERYTHING.

We do have complete trust in each other, but if I ever had any "woman intuition" feelings best believe I'll be a PI all over his stuff.

ngolimento · December 2013

We don't snoop without the other being there, but neither of us has anything to hide and freely hand over our phones, computers, etc for the other to use.

ELL31310 · December 2013

I have no reason to go through his stuff. I guess I could if I wanted, but it has never occurred to me to do so.

lebradford · December 2013

I make a point not to look through his phone or email, even when he leaves it open on my computer. I don't have his password (or if I did, I've forgotten it), but he has mine. I want him to trust me, so I'd let him go through my stuff if he ever asked, but I'd be pissed if he was doing it without asking (even though I'm definitely not hiding anything). I'm sure he'd let me do the same.

Sometimes his trust issues with his ex freak me out. He was always snooping on her and was very sneaky. However, she cheated on him and had a second secret cell phone and took shitty care of their son, so I guess I don't blame him for being snoopy in that situation.

RunBooRun · December 2013

We're very open with each other. We'll use each other's phones or go into the other's email to get info when needed. We don't have any secrets from each other (that I know of).

We don't post under the other's facebook account, but I've had him go in to fetch messages or vice verse.

janda426 · December 2013

H is really private about his phone. Sometimes it makes me curious, but not in a "what woman is he talking to?!" Kind of way. He gets embarrassed when I read his trash talk on sports forums or to his friends during fantasy football. It's like a whole side of him I don't know, and I think it's hysterical.

As for FB and emails, well he doesn't use FB EVER and his email is boring as fuck. So there's that.

TeeJ526 · December 2013

EmeJay said:

Sometime I take his phone while he sits next to me and go through his picture. It's usually boring stuff like the engine of his car. Wow.

My BFF can't believe I would do that or let my Facebook oppened on his computer. I don't care.

Same here. I answered no, but now that I think about it, I have picked up his phone to look at a picture that I want to forward to my phone or to look up stuff because his phone is closer. He doesn't seem to mind.

WolFox · December 2013

I don't even think about going into his stuff... but if I need something on his computer or on one of his things I could just do it.

When we first moved in together he was VERY sensitive about me touching his phone. Like, he'd be driving and it'd ring, I'd pick it up to see who it was (because he was DRIVING) and he'd get all flumoxed. It was very weird. I pointed it out to him and it ended up that his Mom used to go through his phone and get all judgey and bitchy about who he was texting and what he said and really invade his privacy. Once he realized that his reactions were a bit sketchy and dramatic and I wasn't bitchy or judge-y, he eventually got used to it.

CLARITY: I don't just go through his phone. I only check it if he's otherwise occupied to see whose calling/texting. He was weird about THAT. Now it's no problem if I check it or use it because mine is being weird...

dogperson11 · December 2013

jcsumm0 said:
I've never looked through his stuff with the intention of finding something out, but I see his facebook/phone/email all the time just because we have one computer and so we're always logging the other person out to check our own stuff.

This exactly

RogueZymosis · December 2013

I'm with pp who said we don't have individual stuff. I generally confuse people and text from his phone if it's handier than mine at the moment then continue he conversation on my phone when I'm nearer to it.

Jellyfish42 · December 2013

I don't look through his stuff. I don't have to. Lol. We are very open about things to one another, but his personal stuff is not my business. He extends me that same respect. We have separate bank accts, separate facebooks, separate emails...we live together, but we don't have to run each other's lives. If he were being emotionally distant, I would ask him what was up, not snoop on him to find out behind his back.

snooks721 · December 2013

DH and I are VERY open. There are no secrets between us and we don't have anything to hide from each other. However, there are the times once in awhile if DH's phone is sitting on the coffee table I'll look through his pics and his texts with his buddies. I don't look through his phone with the intention of trying to "catch him" in anything. I'm just nosy. Sometimes I will come into the room and see him reading through my texts on my phone. I honestly enjoy reading the conversations between him and his friends. When they're all hanging out I am non-stop laughing because they're so stupid together and their texts are even more funny. I read them for amusement. He KNOWS that I look through his phone from time to time and has no problem with it... and vice versa. The only time I have a problem with him being on my phone is when he texts my friends saying stupid stuff that makes no sense and they usually know it's him.

Basically we don't care if the other one looks through our phone or goes on our Facebook or looks at our e-mails. Trust me, it's not a daily basis this happens on, it's very rare, but it's not because we don't trust each other, it's usually because we're bored and looking for amusement or something. I personally don't find anything wrong with it.

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