Breast feeding in public ???

chickpea912 · December 2013

ohyealovely said:

What gets to me the most about this type of argument is that people say it made me feel weird to see a woman with her boob out before she had the baby latched. But they don't say that it made them feel weird to see lingerie ads, or a movie with a topless woman. It's a boob associated with breastfeeding that makes people feel weird. And that to me is effed up.

I agree. I totally understand that different people have varying degrees of comfort with NIP. It's a personal thing, hopefully you can find a way to do what you feel comfortable with. I just don't understand why it is BREASTFEEDING that people get worked up over. True, a little nip slip and the censorship of media goes bonkers, but what people see in commercial advertising or what people choose to wear - that is all okay. I will NEVER understand why some people are just incredibly grossed out by BFing, but gore and violence on TV, gross sexuality and nudity, that we are all desensitized to. I wish I could figure it out in my head, I just can't.

In my short nursing experience, I NIP'd, but did cover up, depending on the situation.

amackattack · December 2013

ohyealovely said:

What gets to me the most about this type of argument is that people say it made me feel weird to see a woman with her boob out before she had the baby latched. But they don't say that it made them feel weird to see lingerie ads, or a movie with a topless woman. It's a boob associated with breastfeeding that makes people feel weird. And that to me is effed up.

I am new to this debate, and don't really know what I'll do yet once the LO is here! But, could it be that seeing a boob in a mall when you may have your children with you is different from watching a movie that you chose with a predetermined rating that specifies whether or not there is nudity? And usually lingerie ads do not show a whole boob (at least in the US)? I probably am misunderstanding your point. I'm all for NIP, but do appreciate it being done discretely as many of you have also indicated, whether that be with a cover, a tank and a shirt, or however is easiest. I have family and close friends who BF this way and have never felt uncomfortable. I also understand we are discussing a situation in which an entire boob would be out in public while breastfeeding, and that's not usually the case. I do not understand why anyone would ever find breastfeeding disgusting, either.

I am brand new to this argument, but am curious. Those of you who seem to be in favor of increased freedom of the breast, even beyond breastfeeding...are you hoping to see the female breast desexualized someday? Or, would you just like to see less of a stigma in the US?

rainbowdashh · December 2013

I am new to this debate, and don't really know what I'll do yet once the LO is here! But, could it be that seeing a boob in a mall when you may have your children with you is different from watching a movie that you chose with a predetermined rating that specifies whether or not there is nudity? And usually lingerie ads do not show a whole boob (at least in the US)? I probably am misunderstanding your point. I'm all for NIP, but do appreciate it being done discretely as many of you have also indicated, whether that be with a cover, a tank and a shirt, or however is easiest. I have family and close friends who BF this way and have never felt uncomfortable. I also understand we are discussing a situation in which an entire boob would be out in public while breastfeeding, and that's not usually the case. I do not understand why anyone would ever find breastfeeding disgusting, either.

I am brand new to this argument, but am curious. Those of you who seem to be in favor of increased freedom of the breast, even beyond breastfeeding...are you hoping to see the female breast desexualized someday? Or, would you just like to see less of a stigma in
the US?

Walking past Victoria's Secret, a kid sees more boob than walking past a nursing mom. There's no nipple in an ad, but most of the time there's no nipple seen when nursing. My problem is that a boob is only bad if it's not for sex. Boobs were intended for babies, not men (or women if that's what they like). It's just ridiculous. They're not sexual body parts. I hope that women can be less sexualized in general in the future and that NIP can be seen as something normal instead of something that makes people feel weird. And I think it starts with our children. If my daughter saw a nursing mom and asked why she had her breast out, I would tell her that that's how some women feed their babies and that it's not a big deal

Ugh. My phone is chopping this all weird.

amackattack · December 2013

ohyealovely said:

I am new to this debate, and don't really know what I'll do yet once the LO is here! But, could it be that seeing a boob in a mall when you may have your children with you is different from watching a movie that you chose with a predetermined rating that specifies whether or not there is nudity? And usually lingerie ads do not show a whole boob (at least in the US)? I probably am misunderstanding your point. I'm all for NIP, but do appreciate it being done discretely as many of you have also indicated, whether that be with a cover, a tank and a shirt, or however is easiest. I have family and close friends who BF this way and have never felt uncomfortable. I also understand we are discussing a situation in which an entire boob would be out in public while breastfeeding, and that's not usually the case. I do not understand why anyone would ever find breastfeeding disgusting, either.

I am brand new to this argument, but am curious. Those of you who seem to be in favor of increased freedom of the breast, even beyond breastfeeding...are you hoping to see the female breast desexualized someday? Or, would you just like to see less of a stigma in the US?

Walking past Victoria's Secret, a kid sees more boob than walking past a nursing mom. There's no nipple in an ad, but most of the time there's no nipple seen when nursing. My problem is that a boob is only bad if it's not for sex. Boobs were intended for babies, not men (or women if that's what they like). It's just ridiculous. They're not sexual body parts. I hope that women can be less sexualized in general in the future and that NIP can be seen as something normal instead of something that makes people feel weird. And I think it starts with our children. If my daughter saw a nursing mom and asked why she had her breast out, I would tell her that that's how some women feed their babies and that it's not a big deal Ugh. My phone is chopping this all weird.

That makes sense. I guess I was trying to distinguish in my head if you all think people should be more comfortable seeing discreet breastfeeding or more comfortable seeing breastfeeding without the hiding or covering of the boob itself, if that makes sense. Thanks!

amackattack · December 2013

@joules235 you so eloquently said exactly what I was thinking about them. I do see them as sexual, but to me seeing them in the context of breastfeeding is totally separate from that. These two notions have never really clashed for me or interfered with eachother before.

rainbowdashh · December 2013

@lcgroenewe joules235 said it way better. It's not that I'm not okay with boobs being sexual. It's that I'm not okay with them ONLY being sexual. I'm tired and can't get my thoughts out coherently haha.

mommyof2boys922 · December 2013

I love boobs! So I am all for it! I personally always had a nursing shirt on though.

Pepper6 · December 2013

I understand different comfort levels with NIP, but I honestly do not get how anyone can be actually offended over it. Like I said previously, I find it a little odd (as in a 'I don't get why you are doing it that way, but whatever works...' ) if someone reveals more than they need to (or longer than they need to), but it doesn't offend me or gross me out.

My sister was BFing at the mall (with a nursing tank, so other than the quick exposure of latching and unlatching, nothing was 'out there') and some lady came up to her and told her to take it into the bathroom or she was calling security. My sister just said "go ahead, they can't tell me crap because I'm allowed to feed my child where ever I want to". She saw the lady talking to the security guard, and then getting mad when he was shaking his head 'no'.

I just honestly do not understand that level of hostility about it. If you are uncomfortable with seeing someone NIP, don't look. It's really that simple.

feistybear · December 2013

I don't care either way as long as the mom's BFing I'm happy

I personally cover up in public only because I worry about making other people uncomfortable.

2ndturkey · December 2013

I didn't use a cover my son would flip and end up getting so upset he wouldn't eat and just cry. My boob is covered enough you don't see anything but the babies head.

feistybear · December 2013

BrightEyes112 said:

I don't care either way as long as the mom's BFing I'm happy
I personally cover up in public only because I worry about making other people uncomfortable.
Wait are you saying you're not happy if the mom is giving formula?

Maybe happy isn't the right word. I think BFing is important, but I do recognize it's not for everyone and sometimes just doesn't work for mom and/or baby. I will say though, that I have loved BFing DD so I am partial, when I see another mom BFing in public I do get a little happy.

namaste · February 2014

Breastfeeding should be done in private and not at a restaurant. It is not a necessity, it is a choice. Why should you inflict discomfort on others trying to enjoy a meal. Go to the restroom, car and do it discretely or pump it in advance. I will not be doing public displays of breast feeding with my child. Breast milk will be pre-pumped.

SandraPB1220 · February 2014

As a FTM, I don't have personal experience, but plan to cover up only because I don't like the thought of some creepo staring at me while I'm trying to feed my babies. However, if either of them don't like being covered, so be it. On a cool side note, someone started this in Pittsburgh, I thought it's pretty awesome.

https://gizmodo.com/5844950/the-milk-truck-rescues-breastfeeding-mamas-in-pittsburgh

wtfisup · February 2014

namaste said:
Breastfeeding should be done in private and not at a restaurant. It is not a necessity, it is a choice. Why should you inflict discomfort on others trying to enjoy a meal. Go to the restroom, car and do it discretely or pump it in advance. I will not be doing public displays of breast feeding with my child. Breast milk will be pre-pumped.

---

FOOD IS NOT A NECESSITY?

Why should I inflict discomfort on myself?

If other people are uncomfortable, that's their problem. Why are they looking? What is their issue? You'd prefer I go sit in a cold car in winter with my baby? And leave my husband sitting alone in a restaurant?

Women have spent their lives and histories being controlled by bullshit like that.

I hope you show this attitude in person one day, near me, while BFing. I have no willingness to be shamed and I'm happy to school you.

Valie18 · February 2014

namaste said:

Breastfeeding should be done in private and not at a restaurant. It is not a necessity, it is a choice. Why should you inflict discomfort on others trying to enjoy a meal. Go to the restroom, car and do it discretely or pump it in advance. I will not be doing public displays of breast feeding with my child. Breast milk will be pre-pumped.

I should preface this by saying that LO kept me up most of the night with a dance party in my ute so I am tired and (extra) bitchy.

@namaste I hope that the next time you are in a restaurant, and there is a mother breastfeeding her child, your discomfort is so great that you have no choice but to go eat in the restroom.

wtfisup · February 2014

@namaste, is your username meant to be ironic?

hollygb22 · February 2014

namaste said:

Breastfeeding should be done in private and not at a restaurant. It is not a necessity, it is a choice. Why should you inflict discomfort on others trying to enjoy a meal. Go to the restroom, car and do it discretely or pump it in advance. I will not be doing public displays of breast feeding with my child. Breast milk will be pre-pumped.

I'm sorry..this is crazy. bathrooms aren't meant for you to eat a meal in, nevermind your baby. If it makes you uncomfortable then don't be the asshat that sits and stares at a lady trying to feed her child. half the restaurant bathrooms aren't even equipped to change a diaper nevermind feed your kid in.

I BF for a year. In the beginning I was so self conscious and would cover myself if people were over and if we were out. I wasn't uncomfortable NIP, but the stares I would get or people gawking at me is what made me use a cover. After a month or so, the cover,blanket was gone.

Read247 · February 2014

namaste said:

Breastfeeding should be done in private and not at a restaurant. It is not a necessity, it is a choice. Why should you inflict discomfort on others trying to enjoy a meal. Go to the restroom, car and do it discretely or pump it in advance. I will not be doing public displays
of breast feeding with my child. Breast milk will be pre-pumped.

QFP

First of all why did you dig up this 3 month old gem?? To tell us that breastfeeding is gross? Awesome. Thanks for the two cents. Do you need change? The priority first and foremost is feeding the baby. That is not a "choice" it is a necessity. How about you feed your baby your way and let others feed the way they are comfortable. Thanks for that gem first thing in the morning. You seem like a real peach.

Valie18 · February 2014

@CDK211 I sure hope so.

No more MUD. It effs with my blood pressure.

Pepper6 · February 2014

Digging up a post from December to say 'breastfeeding is gross' is definitely MUD.

But LOL to suggesting I go out to my car to breastfeed. Because BFing an infant in the summer when the inside of a car can get up to 180 degrees totally makes sense to spare people the discomfort of seeing the natural purpose of breasts...

FutureMrsW9 · February 2014

I don't mind seeing women breastfeeding in public, and I do plan on doing it myself. But I will practice modesty as much as I can - I don't need strangers seeing my nips!

chickpea912 · February 2014

I was here. Too tired from lack of sleep with M to dive in, but just wanted to make sure the world knew that I was here... and I witnessed...

allrightmeow · February 2014

This inspired me to give zero fucks come June. Behold these old timey attention whores!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6

BMaidPlanner · February 2014

I don't know how I'm going to feel in public (or otherwise) because I've never had a child to breastfeed before, but I'm certainly not going to judge anyone for their own personal decisions or call them inappropriate, gross, etc...because I'm an adult. The end. Also, *yawn* MUD bores me.

temursgirl · February 2014

Oh, this thread is back?

Again, I ask, do people actually notice BFing that much? I don't. It's the norm here, and I just don't think about it. Nor does anyone else seem to. And no one gets offended.

For myself, I do plan to do it more in private, at least at first. I think if it's hard being in public would add to the stress.

ElTrain5 · February 2014

This thread just made me realize....I don't think I've ever seen someone breastfeeding without a cover....or with a cover for that matter in public. So either 1) I have somehow avoided this totally normal occurrence my entire life, or 2) It's just so intrinsically normal to me that I never even noticed it happening. I'm leaning more towards number 2. I'm all in support of BFing wherever, whenever. I secretly can't wait to watch my anxiety riddled family freak out about it. However I am like, a quadruple G cup at the moment, so my concern is more about not knocking over plates and cups and unassuming busboys if I decide to whip one of these bad boys out at a restaurant, than it is about people staring.

lynnblack · February 2014

With DD at first I was concerned about offending people and always used a cover or hid to feed her. Then a good friend of my pointed out that if you hide to feed your child you are not doing anyone a favor you are just adding to the taboo around breastfeeding. If you saw people breastfeeding in public all the time it would be normalized and there would not be a stigma around feeding your baby.

Sareynoo · February 2014

Haha this just makes me want to BF without covers now.

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