It has been one month since we lost Sophie and Gabriel. I didn't actually cry yesterday, though this morning I seem to have a plethora of tears. We lit candles for the twins last night, after we came home from the movies. I suppose inadvertently I was seeking a little distraction. I hope wherever they are, that they are safe, and know that they are loved. I miss them so much! It's hard to think that by now I would have been 6 and a half months along, approaching 3rd tri and the date my baby shower would have been. I feel so empty without them, as I remember how my dh would hug me from his desk and kiss my belly, and rub it at night. The memories are so bittersweet, I wonder if I'll ever have that again. This will also be my last week on leave from work, and will be returning Dec 2. Whether I'm ready or not remains to be seen, but it wouldn't matter anyway because dh has been let go from his job. So much on my mind, I don't know if I can handle anything at all today.
On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
I am so sorry things seem to be piling up On the month anniversary of Jesse's birth I went to my support group, it just happened to fall on that day and I was thankful for that. I was able to talk about him and just have other women there who understand. For me, weekends are the worst because he died overnight. We saw his heart beating at 1130pm on Sat, but by 6am Sunday it had stopped.
No matter when the sadness hits or the memories come, take a little time to feel them. Your babies know you and your love
I hope that as your prepare to go back to work, you feel calm and at peace with it. Transitioning will be difficult at first, but having some structure to your day might help. I will be hoping for that for you!
TTC since 2008 Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion. 4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary. 6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN, 1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP. Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection. 2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
Re: Yesterday made one month.
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BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
No matter when the sadness hits or the memories come, take a little time to feel them. Your babies know you and your love
I hope that as your prepare to go back to work, you feel calm and at peace with it. Transitioning will be difficult at first, but having some structure to your day might help. I will be hoping for that for you!
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!