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2 weeks later....

GoMommyGoMommy member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
First off it feels like so much longer than 2 weeks...  also my anxiety is still off the charts...  I went to the pharmacist today to fill the rx my ob sent in last week (I had a few pills at home.. so I was hoping I wouldn't need to fill it... but I was wrong.) Well they didn't have the script.. and its Saturday.. ugh!!  SO I'm going to call them Monday.. hopefully I don't have an attack.. yesterday was bad.. I mean BAD...  Anxiety wise.. interesting how that is how my grief is showing..

Today I am sad..  I keep replaying how I always felt like something was wrong from the start, but how I felt ok b/c I don't know.. I felt like I was safe from m/c.. ugh  Why do I beat myself up??  I just want to crawl back in bed..  until my heart and brain can work out everything that needs worked out...  My first m/c wasn't this hard.. I'm just having such a hard time.. anger, bitterness, sadness, anxiety..   And I still have to keep it together..

Come on Sticky baby!!
EDD 6/30/2016
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


EDD: 2/26/11  BORN: 2/15/2011

EDD: 2/23/2014  M/C 6/18/2013
EDD 6/25/2014  M/C 11/8/2013
M/C 4/20/2014
M/C 6/22/2014

              
           Our Z
Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
 
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Check out my Blog:
http://gomommy-meandmyboys.blogspot.com/


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Re: 2 weeks later....

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    GoMommyGoMommy member
    You know what I think is crazy.. no one get its.. no one understands.. why we are hurting.. or why we are quiet or don't want to go out.. no one...  they just think I should be over it by now.. like ok, you lost a baby.. time to move on.. and I think that is crap.. crap...

    Come on Sticky baby!!
    EDD 6/30/2016
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


    EDD: 2/26/11  BORN: 2/15/2011

    EDD: 2/23/2014  M/C 6/18/2013
    EDD 6/25/2014  M/C 11/8/2013
    M/C 4/20/2014
    M/C 6/22/2014

                  
               Our Z
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
     
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Check out my Blog:
    http://gomommy-meandmyboys.blogspot.com/


    Report Reply
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    KingLEDKingLED member
    I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.  And I'm in no way saying that you should just get over it, because that's just dumb to think it's even possible, but beating yourself up over what-ifs isn't doing any good either.  So just let yourself grieve.  Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be feeling the things you're feeling or that you should be over it by now.  Kindly tell them to fuck off and take care of yourself like you know you need to. 

    I know it's rough, but you've got to remember that even if that nagging feeling was something tangible, there's still nothing that you could have done to change things.  And there's nothing wrong with letting yourself be optimistic about a pregnancy.  As much as it sucks if it doesn't work out, being paranoid and unable to enjoy a pregnancy sucks if the pregnancy does work out.  Because you didn't let yourself really enjoy it when you could have.  It's a shitty situation no matter how you look at it, but I think being happy for a month or two while I was pregnant and then feeling shitty when it ended was much better than feeling shitty for a month or two while I was pregnant and waiting for it to end and then feeling shitty still once it did. 

    That was a lot of words and may or may not makes much sense, but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying.  And if not, let me know and I"ll try to word it better in the morning when I've actually had some sleep. 


    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
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    alm288alm288 member
    I'm very sorry for your loss and agree that you need to give yourself time to grieve. No one should tell you how long that takes or what the grieving process should look like. I understand not wanting to go out - I made up excuses for a few weeks because I was not in the mood and didn't want to put on a happy face or be debby downer (I didn't tell many people that I was pregnant or that I had a miscarriage). Give yourself time and try to surround yourself with understanding people - if possible. We get it around here - feel free to use us for support!

    I didn't want to get really excited after my BFP, but I did and then it ended in loss. There is no way to prevent the loss and it wouldn't be fair to me or the baby to not get excited.

    It sucks on sooo many levels. I hope you make it through the weekend okay and all the best. *big hugs*
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
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