Rooming In: What was your experience?

hlb622 · November 2013

Short story: I saw this article online this week and I'm curious to hear about your thoughts and/or experiences after delivery.

https://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-11-17/health/ct-met-rooming-in-20131117_1_hospital-nursery-rooming-mothers

TL/DR version: Our hospital is in the process of becoming "baby friendly," so rooming in was an automatic. The only time they offered any help was about 24 hours after LO was born (around 2am) when they came into my room to find me half in/out of bed, hooked up to cords by both hands, crying hysterically and in excruciating pain (c-section) while desperately trying to pick up my screaming baby. (The call button had fallen to the floor.)

DH was in the room sleeping, but was sleeping so hard (we hadn't slept in 72 hours), I was screaming at him for help and literally throwing anything I could find/reach at him to wake him. At one point in this terrifying scenario, I thought he died. Seriously. I was completely out of my mind.

Cue the nurses. Finally.

Turns out, LO wasn't getting squat nutrition-wise from me and he was starving. After some side-eyeing, the nurse offered to help us give him 10cc formula. Then she reluctantly offered I take him to the Special Care Unit if we needed it. But she was quick to say it's reserved for those who really need it. So I declined.

I was in the hospital for about 100 hours altogether and got 4 hours of sleep, total, in that time. Only because I asked people to visit while I tried to sleep in the same room. A nursery, if only for the first night, and only for a few hours, would have been incredibly helpful and made for a much healthier, happier and safer experience in those first days.

After three days, I insisted they discharge me early so we could all go home and get some sleep.

https://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-11-17/health/ct-met-rooming-in-20131117_1_hospital-nursery-rooming-mothers

sleepy33 · November 2013

Our hospital was default rooming in, too, but had a nursery available 24/7. I was a c-section, too. Our second night there was the hell night where the baby would not sleep in the bassinet, up screaming all night, etc. Neither of us slept much. That morning, the nurse mentioned the nursery and said any time we wanted to take advantage of it, we absolutely could. My H got some weird notion that he didn't want the baby to go to the nursery. This all culminated in a meltdown on night 3 when the nurse offered to take the baby to nursery for a few hours, and I said yes while my H simultaneously said no. The nurse left, and I had a hysterical crying fit. My H said he was fine with watching the baby, and I just screamed, "It's not about YOU! I am dying over here and I NEED a couple of hours of sleep!" Needless to say, the nurse came back, baby went to the nursery for a respite, and I felt a lot better. I think the scenario of having a nursery back up is ideal, sometimes you just NEED a break, especially if you had a c-section or other trauma that physically limits you a lot.

carawasa · November 2013

I was in labor from 11am-143lm the next day and maybe slept 1 hr the whole time. At our hospital the baby gets a bath 12 hours later (which was 2am). Not only did I not know wtf I was doing (ftm) but I was sleep deprived. I sent LO to the nursey for about 3 hours, I couldn't even see straight. It was probably the safest for both of us! I don't think they should make it mandatory.

Eta: especially c section mamas!

knottied2a666e3e38a2a87 · November 2013

I knew my hospital practiced "rooming in" and I was pissed about it from the beginning (UO), even more pissed as it was happening to me, but it was my fault for choosing that hospital. I had wretched spinal headaches and I wasn't able to get vertical for more than two weeks. It was not really cool trying to care for the baby and practice breastfeeding in that situation...all. night. long. Nurses and other staff kept coming into my room at ALL hours to take temperatures, offer drugs, prick heels, etc. but no one offered to feed or change the baby or asked if I had gotten ANY rest. We were there three nights. I think moms deserve a little better, the experience is traumatic enough and there is already enough pressure to do all the "right" things (EBF, kangaroo, skin-to-skin, cosleep, or not, whatever). Ugh I learned so much this time around about what I want next time.

chelseyestelle · November 2013

Our hospital encouraged everyone to have the baby room in with you but let us know that the nursery was available 24/7 if we needed a break! We took them up on it the first night and got 3 hours of glorious sleep! (I hadn't slept in 60 hours..)

It was kind of terrifying that first night. I was hallucinating that there were nurses in our room laughing at me (nerves of a ftm and no sleep for 60 hours) every time I closed my eyes. I told my real nurse this and she was like.. Um sweetie you need to get some sleep! The nursery is available if you need it.

Boy, I sure did.

amber0529 · November 2013

My son was in the NICU but my hospital didn't have a nursery at all so there is no option.

Welshgirl12 · November 2013

Our hospital was automatic rooming in, and fortunately we had a great experience. The second night I asked the nurse if there was any way we could cut back on the routine checks like temp, etc (on me for cs and on baby as she was late preemie) since they were waking us up every 3 hours or so, and the nurse was like "hell yeah!" she was the coolest nurse ever, I loved her.

There was the time when DH freaked me out telling me "some lady" took LO to the nursery, but then my eyes focussed and I realised LO was in our room, and he was sleep lying (which he does a lot lol!)

The nurses responded very quickly to my buzzer thing, and were very nice people (apart from one but hey ho). They responded to every request positively, and encouraged us to nap as much as possible, especially when they took Amelia for her car seat challenge for 2 hours.

If I delivered in a hospital again I would be happy to room in...although who knows how baby #2 will be lol!

jennlin · November 2013

I roomed in with both of my deliveries. I don't know if a nursery is even a possibility at my hospital- and even if it was, I wouldn't use it. Both babes, my husband and I held the babies the entire time-- we're cosleeping/bed-sharers, so even placing our baby in the provided bassinet next to my bed felt strange. We just used it as a changing table.

Fun fact: with my first (early 2012) we had to sign a consent form saying we would not sleep with our baby on the hospital bed bc it wasn't safe. This time they did not say anything when they came in and I was passed out with baby in the bed with me. I do t know the details, but I heard that my hospital was transitioning into becoming "fully AP (attachment parenting)". They offer free breastfeeding classes, talk about baby wearing, and even cloth diapers are talked about in the "baby101 " class.

klewis888 · November 2013

Our hospital also has private rooms where the baby would room in and we loved it! We had an amazing experience and the nurses were wonderful! Every nurse we had checked in on us about every 2-3 hrs and when we would press the nurse call button, they were there within a min or two. Each room has a futon for the daddy and my DH sac tidally got some sleep. Our LO was so good and mellow throughout our stay, so she was pretty low maintenance. Overall, great experience and will definitely deliver there again when we have our next baby!

hlb622 · November 2013

cjrobbin said:
I knew my hospital practiced "rooming in" and I was pissed about it from the beginning (UO), even more pissed as it was happening to me, but it was my fault for choosing that hospital. I had wretched spinal headaches and I wasn't able to get vertical for more than two weeks. It was not really cool trying to care for the baby and practice breastfeeding in that situation...all. night. long. Nurses and other staff kept coming into my room at ALL hours to take temperatures, offer drugs, prick heels, etc. but no one offered to feed or change the baby or asked if I had gotten ANY rest. We were there three nights. I think moms deserve a little better, the experience is traumatic enough and there is already enough pressure to do all the "right" things (EBF, kangaroo, skin-to-skin, cosleep, or not, whatever). Ugh I learned so much this time around about what I want next time.

I could not agree more. Especially when it comes to the staff entering our room every 10 minutes to do this test or that exam at all hours of the night. And then leaving our room saying, "Okay, now get some rest!"

I would, if you would GTFO!

At one point, DH actually yelled at the nurse after she said that and asked her to group the tests together like @Welshgirl12 mentioned and the nurse said snidely, "We're doing the best we can."

For the first 48 hours, we never had more than 45 minutes alone. Yes, we kept track. And whether it was noon or 3am, they would walk in, turn on all the lights, and get to work. I get that they work around-the-clock but people need to sleep to heal.

Needless to say, when we have LO #2, we will be looking for another hospital.

hlb622 · November 2013

awwwpuddin said:
I had a really hard time with rooming in. While I didn't sleep, I don't think having her in the nursery would have changed that. I loved having her with me, but I had major difficulties feeding her, and only got help after she screamed all night, and I think they could hear her down the halls. I felt horrible and there wasn't anything I could do, my milk didn't come til day 4 and it was barely anything. She ended up getting formula through a syringe/tube the last night we were there. I know there's pretty much no sleeping in hospitals due to constant checks and all that, but I had people coming in to do her hearing test at 4am. Was that necessary? I don't think so.

Exactly. They did his circ at midnight, the heel poke at 3am, weight check (naked) at 1:15am every night. Seriously??

MangoMama82 · November 2013

We had rooming in with a super nice private room. We had a double bed, and lots of space. The first night it was great, all he did was sleep, and I couldn't take my hands off him. The second night was post circumcision, and it was miserable. He wouldn't nurse, and just cried all night. I was beside myself. The nurse was great, she got an authorization for more Tylenol, tried to soothe him with SweetEase, and kept offering to be our personal baby sitter for the night so we could sleep. I kept refusing, but I finally gave in for an hour and got some shut eye. I'm glad rooming in was automatic, with the option for the pros to step in when needed. The next morning the LC came first thing, helped me pump, and we fed him with a dropper. He was right back on track after that.

Pickle123 · November 2013

We got maybe 2 hours of sleep the night he was born. I sent him to the nursery for one hour that night. We stayed only 24 hours in the hospital bc we both were doing so well. I figured we would get more sleep at home.

blondolphn · November 2013

My nurses were great. They would check on you during the motn, but wouldn't wake you. They tried to group tests etc. Basically they made themselves available, but weren't harassing you.

Welshgirl12 · November 2013

beernifer said:

Getting in and out of the bed was hard bc of the sx. But we made it work.

I definitely read this that it was hard because of the sex. Nice.

vvg28 · November 2013

We totally took advantage of the nursery at our hospital. He stayed with us some and stayed in there some. If he stayed in the nursery overnight, they still brought him in every three hours to nurse. And fyi - I had to fight the damn nurses too to give him formula supplement. He was a big boy (8 lbs10oz) and colostrum was NOT cutting it for him. I still have to supplement.

Lhand11 · November 2013

My hospital is roomin by default. I did ask that they take her for a little bit so we could get a little sleep. She was spitting up way more than normal and we could not rest more than 15 mins without having to jump up and suction her mouth out. They took her for 3 hours. It was awesome.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

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BlessUrHeart29 · November 2013

DS was transferred to a different hospital with a better NICU soon after he was born, so I spent the night on the mother/baby floor with no baby or husband (DH went with him to the other hospital).

However, after a couple of days, DS was moved to a step-down room and we moved in with him. It was intense and I kind of wished we had stayed at the Ronald McDonald house for another night or two bc trying to recover while living in the NICU was hard. Idk if it makes me a bad mother to say that, but it really was how I felt bc I was having such a hard time and was so overwhelmed. I will say, though, the nurses were excellent and did everything they could to help me and make sure I could rest as often as I could.

manders726 · November 2013

Our main local hospital has private rooms and has the baby room-in with you. It was fine for our first baby, but after my experience with DS, if we were to ever have another baby I will be choosing another hospital for delivery. I had a vaginal delivery with DD and a c-section with DS.

We had conflicting information from the nurses about the nursery- first it was available, then it wasn't, then it didn't exist. DH was frantic the one night because he knew I needed to get some sleep but I couldn't because DS was unhappy under the bili light and I couldn't bear to listen to him without wanting to hold him. He asked to send the baby to the nursery and that's when we were told it wasn't really there anymore. WTF?

Whenever I pressed the call button, I felt like I was bothering the nurses. It would take forever for one to come in- all I needed them to do was hand me the baby since I couldn't even get out of bed and DH had gone home to get some things- and it would be a good 20 minutes before one sauntered in. By that point, I'd given up and hobbled over to the basinette, dragging my IV pole behind me.

Honestly, the nurses were the worst part. Between not listening to me about DS having problems holding his food down ("Oh, that bright yellow stomach acid is normal!") or lecturing me about taking a car seat safety class ("Well, I would like to if I was a FTM but my son has now been admitted to the NICU because you bitches didn't listen to me and now he's dehydrated!"), I was ready to cut someone when I was discharged. The LC consultants however, have immensely improved since I delivered DD. That's one area where this hospital has made some strides.

steed123 · November 2013

Our hospital is room-in as well, and I had a c-section. The nurses were always available to help, and responded to the call button, but I have no idea what I would've done without my DH. I couldn't get out of bed, and even though DD was on my chest most of the time, when she wasn't, I certainly needed help to change her and pick her up.

I feel like for people who don't have that extra support, they certainly need to have nurses to help out.

Mae208 · November 2013

OP- yikes! Sorry you had such a horrible experience! We had a nursery available 24/7. We send LO down there for the 2nd night so we could sleep. I had a vagibal birth with only 1 stitch and I can't imagine how you must have been feeling!

muffyvonmuff · November 2013

Rooming in was great for me. The nurses were lovely and helpful. I never even had the chance to change a diaper while in the hospital the nurses always did it before I had the opportunity. I will say I didn't sleep much from constantly being checked with BP and temp or woken up for then to check out the baby, but thats how a hospital is.

MammaWolf7 · November 2013

My son was in the room with us all the time. We had him go to the nursery at night because his ankle bracelet kept falling off. My husband and I called it his baby low jack because it was an alarm and we didn't want anything to happen to him.

finnybooboo · November 2013

Our hospital was room in by default. They also took the babies to do all of the testing and such in the motn which was really great. They then gave the option to have the babe go to the nursery while we slept. It was only available until 6am though. We took advantage several times and got some needed sleep.

The nurses were good about not being too disruptive at night. They would come in and check on you and make sure you didn't need any pain meds but that was basically it. During the day was a different story and I felt like anytime baby was finally settled they'd come in a take temp, etc and get her all worked up again.

Our hospital also sucked when it came to lactation support. She had latching issues and wasn't getting anything from me. Each nurse had a different technique which just made things more confusing. We ended up supplementing because we were so frazzled and didn't know what else to do. I was cracked and bleeding and in terrible pain. After several days I was finally offered a nipple shield. On our last day (we were there 4 days) a LC finally came in. I was pissed and now I feel like I'm stuck with the nipple shield.

SnoopyLuv · November 2013

With DD1- they encouraged rooming in but I could send to the nursery whenever I wanted. I never did. FTM stupidity.

This DD was at a different hospital who is trying to get baby friendly cert. They didn't allow babies to stay in the nursery. I had an awesome nurse for three nights and on the last night she took the baby for 3 hours so we could sleep. She told me to call her the second after I had fed and she swooped her up. It was awesome. DH went to get her and they had dressed her up in the clothes we had in the bassinet, made a hospital hat with a bow and were passing her around cooing over her.

ETA: I had c-sections with both. DH stayed with me this time, but not last time. I was OK both times because I tried my damnedest to nap when LO did and told the nurses to leave me alone.

hartsl01 · November 2013

I had baby with me for the most part. The first night (he was born at 7:32am) they offered to take him for a few hours so that I could get some sleep since I labored throughout the night and we had visitors all day. I was more than happy to get the sleep if only for a few hours. The nurses were very accommodating and I wasn't worried at all about him being in the nursery. There was one point that I woke up in a panic because the baby wasn't there. They had ended up getting him ready for his circ surgery and didn't want to wake me (they didn't start the surgery with out clearing it, yet again, with DH and I). But as soon as I hit my call button and asked the nurse where he was, they brought him right to me. Overall I had a great experience.

sleepy33 · November 2013

All this talk of nurses reminds me just how important good nursing staff is. The first night in hospital, they put us in these crappy old overflow rooms, and we clearly had the D-list nursing staff. My first nurse on shift actually refused to help me sit up in bed (I had a c-section), I assume because she was about 6 months pregnant. I just stared at her like, how in the fuck do you expect me to sit up unassisted? We complained and insisted we be given a room on the main wing when it opened up, and the difference in nursing staff was like night and day. The main floor staff were absolute rock stars.

hlb622 · November 2013

sleepy33 said:
All this talk of nurses reminds me just how important good nursing staff is. The first night in hospital, they put us in these crappy old overflow rooms, and we clearly had the D-list nursing staff. My first nurse on shift actually refused to help me sit up in bed (I had a c-section), I assume because she was about 6 months pregnant. I just stared at her like, how in the fuck do you expect me to sit up unassisted? We complained and insisted we be given a room on the main wing when it opened up, and the difference in nursing staff was like night and day. The main floor staff were absolute rock stars.

This. We had a scheduled induction and when we arrived, we were put in an overflow room which had obvs not been used since the 90s. No supplies, the monitors kept breaking (IT had to come in three times while I was in labor to try to fix them), and they were seriously short-staffed -- thy actualy told me that the reason they weren't upping my Pitocin as quickly as they normally would have was to drag me into shift change.

Jalee85 · November 2013

Our hospital in room-in as well, but at anytime you can request a break. The nurse then keeps the baby with her. Also, if there is an emergency they then being the baby into a room connected with the NICU then those nurses keep an eye on the baby.

Inn2 · November 2013

My hospital was automatic room-in and I was recovering from a c-section. Our experience was great, despite my reaction to the narcotics (3-day nausea and inability to stay awake) and the nurse checks. I had extra checks because of the stupid oxygen alarm that kept going off. They finally just rehooked me up to oxygen until the narcotics wore off enough that I could monitor my own breathing.

My H had his own bed and did the primary taking care of Jace until the second day. The nurses offered to help change him, but H refused. The lactation ones were in and out helping with latching and showing us how to pump and supplement formula (cause of his glucose levels) without the bottle. I don't remember much of it because I literally couldn't stay awake or was so nauseated, I couldn't 't think.

The only time Jace left us, was for his 90 minute car seat test. It was at midnight and they offered to keep him in the nursery, but we refused. I couldn't stand to be apart from him and we were afraid that because of his jaundice, that they wouldn't allow him to leave the next day.

We were luckier, at the time he slept a lot and we had to wake him for most feedings. Might have used the nursery some if I didn't have H there or he had been more needy.

pmarie33 · November 2013

Ours was a room in but a 24/7 nursery was available whenever I wanted it. The only time I asked them to take him was the second night for 2 hours at midnight so I could get 2 hours of sleep. I told them to bring him back at 2am and they did.

SHAWNACPA · November 2013

Our hospital was room in by default, but made it clear that the nursury was available at anytime if needed or wanted. The nurses also cheked in often. One night Abri had a tummy ache and started screaming and the nurses were there in a second without us even calling them ( they appearantly walk the halls on slow nights to listen for upset babies or parents that need help ). We had an awesome experience!

mrsblueeyes · November 2013

Our hospital only had rooming in, no nusery, so it's a little hard for me to compare. If there would have been a nursery I would have taken advantage of it for sure. That being said, I liked rooming in with my first, the nurses were always around and helpful. With 2&3, I would have used the nursery if available. When you are rooming all I could think about was "I could be in my own house and bed doing this!"

June2007 · November 2013

I've had 3 c/s and have never had the desire to send my newborn to the nursery. I know several of my friends who utilized it 5 years ago when DD1 was born but it was no longer an option at my local hospital by the time DD2 was born. I don't care if other people want it, I think it's a fine option for those who want/need it but for me personally I am very overly attached to my newborns. Everytime they took them to the nursery (for the pedi check) I would stand at the window and watch. I was also the only crazy mom doing that each time! Lol
ETA I should mention that I had very easy c/s experiences each time and was out of bed catheter free and off the IV 6 hours after surgery each time.

huntjul · November 2013

Our hospital encouraged rooming in but had a nursery. I had an easy vaginal birth within 2 hours of hospital arrival in the middle of the day after a normal night of sleep, so I had a best case scenario. I loved rooming in. My LO was VERY sleepy and never cried. I had to wake her to feed. I didn't get much sleep those two nights but mostly because I was so excited about LO. I never wanted to send her to the nursery and was fine caring for her. DH was also there. It was good bonding.

LSP87 · November 2013

Rooming in sucked for us. Even though I had a vaginal delivery, I was exhausted, confused, and in no condition to care for a newborn. I hadn't slept for days, I had an allergic reaction from some medication, and i really really needed just a little bit of sleep. Instead, I got a very hungry baby. It didn't help that I was just NOT producing enough for him and my nipples sucked so BF'ing was terrible. I tried. LC couldn't even help us. I was going crazy.

I think if I could've had him in the nursery that first night, maybe I would've been able to heal a little sooner and been more mentally and emotionally prepared for the next few days. I really believe both me and my baby would have benefitted from not rooming in that first night.

vargasgurl · November 2013

Oh wow ... You just took me back to our time in the hospital! I also had a CS , baby roomed w us as well. Nurses were available 24/7 ... And we also had the option to send baby to nursery I declined because I figured she might as well stay in the room us so that I can adjust to having her around. My husband slept terribly because the recliner they had for him was uncomfortable... By 2nd night he bought a blow up bed ... He helped change diapers and passed me the baby so I could feed her.. I think 2 nights were rough due to BF and nurses constantly coming in to check up on us. Overall our experience was very good .... I think it's because it's an older hospital so it's not as popular ... Meaning less patients and more attention from the nurses! I would def deliver there again! Sorry you had it rough

RedZee · November 2013

Our hospital was also a rooming in hospital. On one hand, I can't really imagine how it would work to NOT room in when you're nursing. I had them take the baby so I could take a shower, but they came right back with her when she started fussing so it didn't really change anything.

I think the bassinet is silly in that it's high up so that you HAVE to get out of bed to get the baby. I think the whole experience would have been much better if it was lower so I could stay in bed and take baby out.

I also wasn't a fan of the nurses. While they didn't run tests during the night, they were definitely in the room constantly during the day. I got to a point where I was just exhausted dealing with the constant stream of people even though I didn't have many visitors (didn't want them). None of the nurses changed ANY diapers. When I called them they weren't so helpful. One night DD just wouldn't stop screaming. I finally asked for a pacifier and the nurse said, "We don't offer them because it can mess up breastfeeding. But I'll come in soon and help you." She NEVER came.

So I guess my bottom line: I don't really see a reasonable alternative to rooming in, but I think the rooms should be set up so that it's easier for someone who is exhausted and having a hard time moving and is bleeding a ton and might have stitches so doesn't want to do much sitting up and sitting down to navigate things and take care of the baby.

hlb622 · November 2013

RedZee said:
Our hospital was also a rooming in hospital. On one hand, I can't really imagine how it would work to NOT room in when you're nursing. I had them take the baby so I could take a shower, but they came right back with her when she started fussing so it didn't really change anything.

I think the bassinet is silly in that it's high up so that you HAVE to get out of bed to get the baby. I think the whole experience would have been much better if it was lower so I could stay in bed and take baby out.

I also wasn't a fan of the nurses. While they didn't run tests during the night, they were definitely in the room constantly during the day. I got to a point where I was just exhausted dealing with the constant stream of people even though I didn't have many visitors (didn't want them). None of the nurses changed ANY diapers. When I called them they weren't so helpful. One night DD just wouldn't stop screaming. I finally asked for a pacifier and the nurse said, "We don't offer them because it can mess up breastfeeding. But I'll come in soon and help you." She NEVER came.

So I guess my bottom line: I don't really see a reasonable alternative to rooming in, but I think the rooms should be set up so that it's easier for someone who is exhausted and having a hard time moving and is bleeding a ton and might have stitches so doesn't want to do much sitting up and sitting down to navigate things and take care of the baby.

I had heard this was our hospital's policy, too, so I brought two different types of paci with me when we checked in. On that first horrible night, we gave him a paci to soothe him after he fed and the nurse audibly gasped and asked us, "Where did you get THAT? You can only get those from the Special Care Unit." I told her I brought it with me and she rolled her eyes. Needless to say, I was not her biggest fan.

Later in her shift, she came in with her LPN sidekick and they were charting and chatting while they were in our room. Nurse says while shaking her hard, "Yeah, did you see that the gift shop put out a bucket of those things and they were gone in an hour?! Unbelievable." No, that's not judgmental at all, lady.

bkeane619 · November 2013

They let u room in at my hospital and had nursery. They weren't keen on having the husbands stay which I thought was odd.

I utilized the nursery both nights. I ff so they kept her. First night was about 3am-8am because I got to room late and next night from midnight to 8am. I was still exhausted from previous night. I had been in labor almost 24 hours so I decided happy rested mamma would be better than an exhausted one.

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