UO

KKinATX · November 2013

fklang said:

Mamasighs said:

Some (not all by any means) babies have to CIO. All these threads about the evils of it are over the top.

Preach Mama preach!! I could've written this too. I think most of us have enough common sense to know when CIO is or isn't appropriate. If you join TB for knowledge about your LO, hopefully you care enough not to neglect/damage your kid.

Yes, thank you. All kids are different (my two are night and day in terms of sleep) so I get that it might not be the right approach for some babies. It is really not the evil it is made out to be.

thegoodpotato · November 2013

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

LauraB1016 · November 2013

kaylakim said:

I can't stand when people don't pay their bills and/or comply with billing policies. I have somany dancers in my program whose parents don't pay their monthly fee but still send their daughter to class. It's not the kid's fault that their parent didn't pay so I don't take it out on them. Or policy is that any payment received after the tenth of the month gets charged a $5 late fee. I always have parents that try to fight me in this and it just ticks me off. Many of these people are friends of mine so it's just awkward. Just pay your bill for crying outloud! I'm offering a service that you are choosing to take part in.

I totally feel you! I battled the same thing when I coached high school colorguard. It was soo annoying. Why would a parent put their kid in that sort of situation?!? If you couldn't pay for it then you shouldn't have started them in the activity.

sparkymcgeee · November 2013

I agree with Chrissie. More nuclear energy please! But I also agree with Maryanne. Where do we dispose of the waste. It was a big issue for the state of UT while I was living there. Hopefully they come up with a feasible solution.

I think common core is awful. It lowers the bar for high performing states. We cater to the lower standards in low performing states. It is across the board for all children. Like a PP said, not all children learn the same way. There is still standardized tests. It's never been tested. There's no research backing it up. Districts are adopting it because they are getting monetary incentives. It doesn't take into account the children with EIPs and special needs. I stifles creativity in students. I just think it's terrible.

This might really be unpopular. I think that sometimes there are people on TB when they hear someone complain about their SO or spouse jump too quickly to say "I'd leave him./ You should divorce him." While I agree with most of what was said in this weeks thread about the jerk who called CPS I do think that we are only privy to one small aspect of someone's relationship. Marriage is an incredibly important commitment in my opinion and it's not to be ended lightly. Especially when there are children involved. Abuse is a marriage breaker in my opinion. One of the only deal breakers to me. However, I don't think other people should be telling someone to get a divorce unless you are a personal friend or family member and in the situation. And even then you should tread lightly. I don't think any of us would like it if someone (especially people we don't actually know) told us that we married an awful person and we should divorce him.

thegoodpotato · November 2013

mystererae said:

thegoodpotato said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

@thegoodpotato I don't know if there's a nefarious reason beyond us just being cheap about government benefits, but I do know I threw a huge tantrum yesterday when I realized I really needed to get back to work around January, not March, because although I can access unemployment until March, my claim amount (money available to be dispensed to me calculated on how much I earned during some certain period) will be depleted by mid-January.

I know I shouldn't complain because 6 months with LO is more than many women get, but my UO today is that there should be more part-time opportunities out there. Then we could all have jobs, make enough to make ends meet and see our kids. (I say this from an idealistic standpoint of putting mothers back in the workforce, not from an economically informed one.)

Even with the full year, I wish I could find a part time engineering position....

Aiylin · November 2013

Butternut87 said:

Butternut87 said:

I hate the look of bibs on babies for non eating purposes. I've got a drooler and have contemplated putting a bib on her but can't bring myself to do it. I carry around a little washcloth instead.

@Butternut87 You should see the bandana bibs! I also was not a bib fan and almost never put one on DS, but then I saw bandana bibs and fell in love with them. They don't look like a bib, it totally looks like an accessory and make an outfit look really cute. My friend has an etsy shop and made several for me. DD wears them frequently now and I get tons of compliments.
I've seen these and I've been meaning to buy one. I literally struggle with the drool/bib issue in my mind every day. I mean, it makes sense to have the bib I just hate it! Can you link to the etsy shop?

Just popping to say I was not a fan of bibs either until I found some really cool bandana ones.

It's a UK shop I think it's called Funky Giraffe bibs.

Stina2012 · November 2013

thegoodpotato said:
Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

Nyet. Even liberals need to pay their bills. The USA is all about the Benjamins baby. Companies don't want to pay for 12 weeks of leave, let alone 52.

SASSY1JA · November 2013

missymr said:

I think baby clothes are overrated. Haddock wears a lot of the same stuff, usually sleepers (because they are easy and comfortable) until he outgrows them. I don't mind doing laundry and he doesn't mind wearing the same thing. @etoille
I have to admit picking what LO is going to wear each day is one of my favourite parts of the day. He only wears footed onesies at night.

This is me too but MIL keeps putting footies on her and now DH is doing it too. It's driving me crazy but she is being really great about helping us out, cleaning while she watches DD making me dinner that I feel I need to just deal with it.

thegoodpotato · November 2013

Dccornel said:

thegoodpotato said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

Since I like this gif, I am going to use it again.

Just no.

@Dccornel, I love this gif.

chiboo9 · November 2013

Meimsx said:

I agree with Chrissie. More nuclear energy please! But I also agree with Maryanne. Where do we dispose of the waste. It was a big issue for the state of UT while I was living there. Hopefully they come up with a feasible solution.
I think common core is awful. It lowers the bar for high performing states. We cater to the lower standards in low performing states. It is across the board for all children. Like a PP said, not all children learn the same way. There is still standardized tests. It's never been tested. There's no research backing it up. Districts are adopting it because they are getting monetary incentives. It doesn't take into account the children with EIPs and special needs. I stifles creativity in students. I just think it's terrible.
This might really be unpopular. I think that sometimes there are people on TB when they hear someone complain about their SO or spouse jump too quickly to say "I'd leave him./ You should divorce him." While I agree with most of what was said in this weeks thread about the jerk who called CPS I do think that we are only privy to one small aspect of someone's relationship. Marriage is an incredibly important commitment in my opinion and it's not to be ended lightly. Especially when there are children involved. Abuse is a marriage breaker in my opinion. One of the only deal breakers to me. However, I don't think other people should be telling someone to get a divorce unless you are a personal friend or family member and in the situation. And even then you should tread lightly. I don't think any of us would like it if someone (especially people we don't actually know) told us that we married an awful person and we should divorce him.

I want to love this 1000000000x.

coco2787 · November 2013

Stina2012 said:

mermomo5 said:
@Stina2012 Great show!
Yes! They don't seem quiver full, but they had the quote on the quints wall. I wondered if they knew about the movement. Oh and he has the tattoo.

Were their quints conceived without fertility treatments?

SASSY1JA · November 2013

ramy3695 said:

@KKinATX can you PM me your friend's etsy shop with the bandana bibs? I've been wanting to get some.

Me too please! We are going through at least 3 outfits a day even with bibs on for most of the day.

thegoodpotato · November 2013

Stina2012 said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)
Nyet. Even liberals need to pay their bills. The USA is all about the Benjamins baby. Companies don't want to pay for 12 weeks of leave, let alone 52.

While, this is true, mat leave is a social service in Canada paid by our Unemployment Insurance system. We have a minuscule population compared to the US, and we can afford to fund this kind of system.....

KKinATX · November 2013

@ramy3695 PM sent!

@Butternut87 I'll PM you too!

ETA I'm just going to start a new post with the bandana bib info since UO is crazy busy enough already.

valstulas · November 2013

@meimsx I couldn't agree more re: telling another poster to leave her H. I did eventually tell the poster from this week that maybe she should, but generally I would not encourage someone to leave their H or SO. This is true IRL, too. The decision to end a relationship is extremely personal and not to be taken lightly, especially with children involved. I think it also creates a rift in a friendship when someone suggests divorce and the other doesn't go through with it. There's always this tension, like "Is this person judging my choices?"

SASSY1JA · November 2013

My UO is I hate Starbucks but now that all the Caribou's closed in MI, I don't have any other options on the way to work. (this really should be a sign to quit drinking latte's)

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

lizabethann06 said:

KKinATX said:

fklang said:

Mamasighs said:

Some (not all by any means) babies have to CIO. All these threads about the evils of it are over the top.

Preach Mama preach!! I could've written this too. I think most of us have enough common sense to know when CIO is or isn't appropriate. If you join TB for knowledge about your LO, hopefully you care enough not to neglect/damage your kid.

Yes, thank you. All kids are different (my two are night and day in terms of sleep) so I get that it might not be the right approach for some babies. It is really not the evil it is made out to be.

This poor kid. My heart hurts for him. Awe!

coco2787 · November 2013

In regards to nuclear waste- as far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as a small nuclear accident, and there is just way to much potential for error with huge consequences. Just think if one truck with nuclear waste gets into an accident (assuming we use a Yucca mountain type storage plan). With the potential for thousands of trucks moving waste each year it's basically inevitable. Look at the mess Japan is in, there's just no good way to clean up and repair after a nuclear disaster. Don't even get me started on the use of fossil fuels and horrific environmental damage caused by mining uranium; there is nothing "clean" about that. I simply don't understand the resistance to solar and wind.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

Meimsx : I agree with you about telling folks to divorce. IMHO, that has to be a very personal decision. Folks tell you to divorce your spouse in a pinch or during a rocky patch don't actually help you. Its just a way to brush off really working through the problem.

Its akin (and don't incinerate me yo) to the "just adopt" line when folks are struggling with IF and building their family. "Just divorce him/her". Yeah, its not always that simple or easy. Maybe a separation for a little while to get your head together? Marriage counseling? Sure. Jumping to divorce is really not a good solution barring abuse.

If we are thinking about the same post though (the CPS Formula DoucheLord one) I think this is a snippet of a pattern of abuse. Add the gun to the picture and his need for control over the kid. It just doesn't seem like a good relationship to be in for anyone.

giraffeluvspi · November 2013

etoille said:

thegoodpotato said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

So....honestly I don't think its this.

I think its far more to do with the fact that America is obsessed with capitalism to the nth degree. We invented 24/7 drive thrus and working on sundays. And now Thanksgiving.

The second the cellphone was invented the work day started to include being on call at nights and on weekends.

That's why the vacation policies here are miniscule compared to say Europe.

America just thinks that work life balance means 90% work, 10% life. That's how you "get ahead" (now see that's funny shit that got sold to America by corporations - our mobility between economic classes is piss poor compared to other first world countries with better work life balance).

@thegoodpotato has an interesting theory, but I believe @etoille has it right. If a woman wants to compete with a man we have to be ready to work work work. Financially it would be cheaper to hire all men because a company wouldn't have to pay for any type of maternity leave at all, so to maintain our competitive edge we have to limit our time off.

Is your full year paid? We are only guaranteed to have a job when we come back from our 3 months, no company in the US is required to pay squat during that time. I'm fortunate that my company paid a month of maternity leave, then 60% of weeks 5-6 was covered by short term disability, then the other 40% of weeks 5-6 and all of weeks 7-12 were all on my own (Vacation/comp time/Illness/no pay at all).

kaylakim · November 2013

mystererae said:

fklang said:

kaylakim said:

I can't stand when people don't pay their bills and/or comply with billing policies. I have somany dancers in my program whose parents don't pay their monthly fee but still send their daughter to class. It's not the kid's fault that their parent didn't pay so I don't take it out on them. Or policy is that any payment received after the tenth of the month gets charged a $5 late fee. I always have parents that try to fight me in this and it just ticks me off. Many of these people are friends of mine so it's just awkward. Just pay your bill for crying outloud! I'm offering a service that you are choosing to take part in.

You have to put your foot down about late fees and missed payments as uncomfortable as it is. After the 10th, I would hand a reminder notice every time they bought their kid. Hopefully, receiving the notices will be enough to make them pay. If it doesn't, send escalating notices. After 30 days of missed payments their kid can't return until all fees are paid.

@kaylakim Your friendly resident martial arts school manager does this: I remind the parents one day before their fees are due. If the day comes and they don't pay, I remind them again. At one day late, I remind them to bring it in with a $5 late fee and that their child cannot attend until the fees are paid. At a few days late it jumps to $10. Do this, and you'll have an adjustment period but after a couple months the parents will rarely be late and they will almost never drop the kid off without paying. People will take advantage if you let them.

Thanks you guys! I can't imagine ever putting my kids in things and not paying. I need to be stricter in this because it's my paycheck and my precious time away from my family. They are taking advantage of me and I just need to buck up and stay strong. I'm so not a confrontational person so it's hard for me.

EagleWife · November 2013

lizabethann06 said:

MRads said:

I don't like never have I ever game threads. I don't know if it is bc they make me feel totally vanilla, bc I get confused on how to play or bc they get really long.

I'm okay with being vanilla

Vanilla's my favorite!

Say it like Buddy:

EagleWife · November 2013

thegoodpotato said:

Stina2012 said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)
Nyet. Even liberals need to pay their bills. The USA is all about the Benjamins baby. Companies don't want to pay for 12 weeks of leave, let alone 52.

While, this is true, mat leave is a social service in Canada paid by our Unemployment Insurance system. We have a minuscule population compared to the US, and we can afford to fund this kind of system.....

Is it true that you pay more taxes than the US does?

sparkymcgeee · November 2013

To be fair, I do agree that she needs to get out of the abusive marriage. I just cringe to see someone she doesn't know telling her to end her marriage. She said her parents are incredibly supportive and see the situation as well and I was so glad to see that. They are the people who should be telling her. Not internet strangers. And really I thought this before. That thread just reminded me to add it to UO.

thegoodpotato · November 2013

ChrissieMeas said:

etoille said:

thegoodpotato said:

Time to crank up the controversy on UO....

I obviously live in a pretty liberal country, and we get a full year of mat leave.

I think the reason that mat leave is so shitty in the US is because it's a conservative country, and they make the leave bad on purpose so that more women will 'make the decision' to stay at home.

Ready.... Aim..... FIRE!!! :S

(it IS unpopular opinion, after all.....)

So....honestly I don't think its this.

I think its far more to do with the fact that America is obsessed with capitalism to the nth degree. We invented 24/7 drive thrus and working on sundays. And now Thanksgiving.

The second the cellphone was invented the work day started to include being on call at nights and on weekends.

That's why the vacation policies here are miniscule compared to say Europe.

America just thinks that work life balance means 90% work, 10% life. That's how you "get ahead" (now see that's funny shit that got sold to America by corporations - our mobility between economic classes is piss poor compared to other first world countries with better work life balance).

@thegoodpotato has an interesting theory, but I believe @etoille has it right. If a woman wants to compete with a man we have to be ready to work work work. Financially it would be cheaper to hire all men because a company wouldn't have to pay for any type of maternity leave at all, so to maintain our competitive edge we have to limit our time off.

Is your full year paid? We are only guaranteed to have a job when we come back from our 3 months, no company in the US is required to pay squat during that time. I'm fortunate that my company paid a month of maternity leave, then 60% of weeks 5-6 was covered by short term disability, then the other 40% of weeks 5-6 and all of weeks 7-12 were all on my own (Vacation/comp time/Illness/no pay at all).

Yes, 52 weeks of paid mat leave at 55% pay. My employer tops up to 85% pay for the first 12 weeks, and 75% pay for the remainder. But there's no income tax on that, so I essentially take home a full paycheque (not all employers do this) the entire year. You are guaranteed your job when you get back.

This is a government stipulated and paid program.

Aiylin · November 2013

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

fabk · November 2013

ChrissieMeas said:

mermomo5 said:

ChrissieMeas said:

mermomo5 said:

My uncles brother lived near a nuclear power plant and he died of a brain tumor, his wife died of pancreatic cancer ans his daughter had major fertility issues... I can't say that's the cause but I'm not super cool with it in my backyard.

You receive more radiation from exposure the sun, flying in an airplane, or eating a banana than you do being near a nuclear plant. They've done studies on the people living near Chernobyl and there are no increased risks of cancer or fertility issues.
You maybe right but every person on their block has had some form of cancer. It just makes me nervous.. I'm not saying they aren't needed .

I don't think their cancer is coincidental, but I would look at other environmental factors first. I work in the industry with a lot of people who have worked at these plants for their entire careers (there's a lot of 60+ guys in this industry), and I can't think of too many of them who have had cancer.

As someone who grew up in the backyard of the powerplant I take this fairly seriously. No one in my family has had cancer (knock on wood thank goodness). No one I know has either. I think that nuclear power does get a bad reputation for all the good it does.
My biggest fear is and always has been a melt down. Probably because we had melt down drills in school.

giraffeluvspi · November 2013

@etoille - not going to copy that novel

but PREACH IT SISTAH!!! I hear you. I think some people are pitywhores: "Woes me, my life sucks, I want some attention even if it is in the form of pity."

In the SS thread earlier this week, though, she was NOT whoring for pity. She asked about formula, casually mentioned her DH was going to call SS if she didn't comply, and it was all the responses that cause that to thread to blow the hell up.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

sparkymcgeee · November 2013

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

Uh oh. Now we're getting down and dirty.

giraffeluvspi · November 2013

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

I don't think anyone who supports this belief thinks everyone who asks for PA is on drugs, it is just one step towards weeding out the abusers.

sparkymcgeee · November 2013

etoille said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I didn't have an issue with this until the Florida State Legislators (who receive a salary from the state) didn't want to submit to drug tests.

All one way or all the other. You can't pick and choose.

Also I think that this whole "OMG A REPUBLICAN US REP BOUGHT COCAINE" thing is like amazingly overblown. Who fucking cares? He should resign, end of story. Like anyone else who fails a random drug test would get fired. Follow the laws. But this whole circus of press conferences etc? Jesus who cares. You can't advocate for abolishing drug laws in this country (liberals) and then jump on the guy for buying a drug you say should be legal.

Same thing. Don't pick and choose.

Oh my gosh yes. Because you know all republicans are super clean living Christians. Oh wait. GWB.

Aiylin · November 2013

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

No, I don't think it is either, however I think it would eliminate the incredible amount of abuse that is produced by these addictions. The amount of people offering their assistance for cash is really sickening. People advertise (no really like on social media websites) they will sell you $200 of benefits for $100 or $150. It is safe to assume 9 times out of 10 this is due to an addiction they are trying to fund.

Don't get me wrong - drugs and their subsequent addiction are a horrible cycle/disease that needs professional help to be overcome. However, I don't think state aid has any part of that. IMO it fuels the addiction cycle further.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

ChrissieMeas said:

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

I don't think anyone who supports this belief thinks everyone who asks for PA is on drugs, it is just one step towards weeding out the abusers.

I am not sure I agree with penalizing someone's family because they struggle with drug abuse though. That is where I'm coming from. Should they not use drugs? Sure. Should their kids go hungry because of their poor life choices? No.

Essentially that is what drug testing to get PA does in the end. It makes the innocent suffer even more than they are already (potentially).

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

Chunkymonkeylvr : I'm not saying don't be aware. I'm saying don't flip out.

I have DD in with a speech therapist long before the pediatrician recommended it. We are being proactive about her speech. I didn't flip out about it though. I just said, "well if she needs help, let's get it."

My MIL on the other hand had a meltdown over it. Another mommy friend of mine was beside herself when her kid didn't roll or sit up by 8 months. I had to really talk her down about it and he's walking/running etc. now. It can be a real source of mommy guilt and spazz for some (not all) moms. I have found that the over-achievers and/or the by-the-book Moms tend to stress about this more than others.

giraffeluvspi · November 2013

etoille said:

ChrissieMeas said:

@etoille - not going to copy that novel but PREACH IT SISTAH!!! I hear you. I think some people are pitywhores: "Woes me, my life sucks, I want some attention even if it is in the form of pity."

In the SS thread earlier this week, though, she was NOT whoring for pity. She asked about formula, casually mentioned her DH was going to call SS if she didn't comply, and it was all the responses that cause that to thread to blow the hell up.

=================================================

Ack quote box. Again we don't know what's in her head but I'm not entirely sure that I buy that. What rational person doesn't expect that kind of reaction from saying something like that? I don't think she was pity whoring but lets not pretend that pity whores don't come in all shapes and sizes - the 'subtle' one being a possibility.

Touche

Aiylin · November 2013

PrimRoseMama said:

ChrissieMeas said:

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

I don't think anyone who supports this belief thinks everyone who asks for PA is on drugs, it is just one step towards weeding out the abusers.

I am not sure I agree with penalizing someone's family because they struggle with drug abuse though. That is where I'm coming from. Should they not use drugs? Sure. Should their kids go hungry because of their poor life choices? No.

Essentially that is what drug testing to get PA does in the end. It makes the innocent suffer even more than they are already (potentially).

But you see their children do suffer whether they get aid or not. The aid is not used to feed their kids.If it were, then my issue would be non-existent.

I think that if you test negative your kids should be eligible for healthy meals (not chips and pop) that are delivered to them (something you really can't sell because it has no real cash value) or something of that nature.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

Aiylin said:

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

No, I don't think it is either, however I think it would eliminate the incredible amount of abuse that is produced by these addictions. The amount of people offering their assistance for cash is really sickening. People advertise (no really like on social media websites) they will sell you $200 of benefits for $100 or $150. It is safe to assume 9 times out of 10 this is due to an addiction they are trying to fund.

Don't get me wrong - drugs and their subsequent addiction are a horrible cycle/disease that needs professional help to be overcome. However, I don't think state aid has any part of that. IMO it fuels the addiction cycle further.

Well, I would say that hopefully there are some state assistance programs that specialize in addiction and getting folks the help they need. Maybe an agreement (if a PA recipient tests positive for drugs for instance) to participate in a state-run rehab program would be a good compromise?

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

etoille said:

PrimRoseMama said:

ChrissieMeas said:

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

I don't think anyone who supports this belief thinks everyone who asks for PA is on drugs, it is just one step towards weeding out the abusers.

I am not sure I agree with penalizing someone's family because they struggle with drug abuse though. That is where I'm coming from. Should they not use drugs? Sure. Should their kids go hungry because of their poor life choices? No.

Essentially that is what drug testing to get PA does in the end. It makes the innocent suffer even more than they are already (potentially).

Yeah but i mean you make the assumption that the assistance ultimately gets to the intended recipient.

Are you saying that someone who chooses to spend money on drugs instead of food before receiving the benefits for their kid is going to magically make the good decision to not trade their food stamps/card/food/whatever for more drugs instead of giving that food to their kid?

People who continue to make bad decisions don't just magically start making the 10th decision a good one - especially if it doesn't come at a personal cost.

I agree with you here about the decision making process. I tend to try to believe the best of others to the point where reality doesn't kick in. You are most likely right about the PA person trading for substances. I just hate the idea of kids going hungry because their parent is trapped in the throes of addiction. I get it that choices are a big deal.

I'm likely to argue that addiction alters brain chemistry. So at a certain point the choice-making becomes more difficult. I hesitate to say involuntary, but an addict is not operating on all cylinders. I'm more of a mind to try to rehabilitate them in exchange for public funds that hopefully go to the kids. I'd gamble on that and hope that the kids get it while the adult gets the help they need to get back on the straight n' narrow.

Rose-colored glasses = 1
Reality = 0

Aiylin · November 2013

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

PrimRoseMama said:

Aiylin said:

Another post reminded me of my UO:

I think that besides having to qualify (income wise) for state aid/food stamps people should have to pass a drug test to be eligible.

I'm not sure its reasonable to assume that everyone who asks for PA is on drugs though.

No, I don't think it is either, however I think it would eliminate the incredible amount of abuse that is produced by these addictions. The amount of people offering their assistance for cash is really sickening. People advertise (no really like on social media websites) they will sell you $200 of benefits for $100 or $150. It is safe to assume 9 times out of 10 this is due to an addiction they are trying to fund.

Don't get me wrong - drugs and their subsequent addiction are a horrible cycle/disease that needs professional help to be overcome. However, I don't think state aid has any part of that. IMO it fuels the addiction cycle further.

Well, I would say that hopefully there are some state assistance programs that specialize in addiction and getting folks the help they need. Maybe an agreement (if a PA recipient tests positive for drugs for instance) to participate in a state-run rehab program would be a good compromise?

Right, I think that if you are on a road to recovery, that's great, but you should not have access to state funds that have cash value and could be used to fuel your addiction further or even worse a relapse.

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