Stressed---Nanny/Au Pair?

katieb7413 · November 2013

I am feeling so stressed---I was wondering if anyone had experience with an Au Pair? I travel at least 6 nights/month and my husband is a Chiropractor so he is never home before 7. This means that day care is out of the question. In my area (Chicago) a nanny is about $13-$15 per hour. That is about $650-$750/week. We are tossing around the idea of an Au Pair which seems so much more economical. I also like the idea of her being more "part of the family" I think...I am wondering if someone knows pros/cons surrounding this? Thanks in advance...

Eahen42 · November 2013

I'm sorry because I can't contribute to your original post but ummm... that's insane! I can't even begin to wrap my mind around spending that kind of money on someone caring for my children. Don't get me wrong, I'm not shaming by any means, but that's more than I make in an entire month (I work half time)! I wish you the best of luck in your decision and hunt

katieb7413 · November 2013

Hahahaha...It is insane, I agree. My other child is a teenager who will go to college in August and when she babysits she makes the same. She will come home with over $100 on a Friday night like no big deal. I made $2 per hour for 2 kids back in the day, AND I did their dishes

scarles · November 2013

I would want privacy in my home and time with my kids to be my own. My greatest fear with live in nanny/au pair is that the kids would cry for her instead of me. I would just want boundaries. It would really depend in the living situation, like if you had a separate apartment.

Sisimama10 · November 2013

Are you guys in the city or the burbs?

Serenla · November 2013

@ImnAtari Nannys are always British and Au Pairs are french.

Sisimama10 · November 2013

I think nannies are local and au pairs come from overseas and live with your family like a foreign exchange student

pannk · November 2013

I don't know pros/cons personally, but do you know someone else that will have a young child when you have your baby? Maybe you could share a nanny if it's cheaper for more kids?

Side Note- I got $2 per kid per hour when I babysat. NOT looking forward to having to pay babysitters the current rate!

Sisimama10 · November 2013

I'm looking to quit my job as a preschool teacher and stay at home while watching a couple kids out of my house. I'm really just throwing around the idea right now, but in my mind that would be ideal. In reality I will probably have to return to work. I wouldn't be changing 13-15 an hour. Maybe you could find someone else looking to stay home?

katieb7413 · November 2013

@sisimama10 We are in the city. My husband is in Lincoln Park and I work in the Loop. @Imnatari a Nanny is a name for a constant babysitter who doesn't live with you. An AuPair lives with you, usually from another country, and because you are the host family they get a stipend that is less expensive because you are responsible for living costs. I think, again I am learning

(

MamaFantastic · November 2013

ImnAtari said:

But Maria was neither. They we're Austrian. Now what?

she was a Fräulein, obviously.

Serenla · November 2013

ImnAtari said:

But Maria was neither. They we're Austrian. Now what?

Julie Andrews is British so she is a nanny.

kmommy37 · November 2013

I am also in Chicago and hoping to do a nanny share. I would look into this and then just have them be at your house on the days/nights you are out of town so you would only be paying for the extra hours alone yourself? That way you could keep some privacy etc. Just a thought

Good luck!

baileymama3 · November 2013

I know people who have had wonderful experiences with au pairs. Because you travel so much it definitely would be ideal to have someone in house. I will tell you, it can be hard on the kids to have a rotating set of people in and out of the house ( au pairs are usually on a year to year basis because they are young and foreign (typically saving for school). I grew up with nannies and we had a lot in and out of our house as well. ( my parents were both military and wanted stability.... Created the opposite). Some stayed a week, some a year. Good luck!!!

thecuddleeffect · November 2013

I think the whole idea is not for me, but that being said many nannies and au pairs require you to have separate living quarters for them. Many also have cars supplied for them by the family.

No trying to be a b*tch but why have kids if you and DH wont be around to raise them? could you change up your schedule or could DH maybe not work til 7 some nights?

mrscrcalli · November 2013

I'm practically perfect in every way.

just thought this was a good place to throw that in.

katieb7413 · November 2013

@pannk Nanny Share sounds ideal in theory, but I question logistics of my husband going in at 10 sometimes and getting home at 7. If we host the share then he is with the baby and nanny in the morning and if someone else hosts same situation in the evening. It is an option we would just have to figure out how to make it work.

@sisimama10 that is a good idea...

MamaFantastic · November 2013

nannies can be live-in too. it sounds like you need someone who can either be very flexible with hours/overnights OR can live at your house. when i was a nanny, i did occasional overnights and i'd often stay into the late evening (11pm) if the parents had a date night or an event to attend.

you just have to look and find the right person. i don't think a live-in is necessary, but it's certainly an option for you. you can go through an agency, but you can also just go through craigslist and do a background search yourself. my nanny family found me through craigslist and it was a wildly successful arrangement. in fact, their kids were in our wedding and we just attended their teenage daughter's bat mitzvah a few months ago! we've stayed in very close touch all these years.

TallaB · November 2013

What is Mrs. Doubtfire considered!?

Serenla · November 2013

thecuddleeffect said:
I think the whole idea is not for me, but that being said many nannies and au pairs require you to have separate living quarters for them. Many also have cars supplied for them by the family.

No trying to be a b*tch but why have kids if you and DH wont be around to raise them? could you change up your schedule or could DH maybe not work til 7 some nights?

Well that's bold.

Serenla · November 2013

@TallaB S/he is from the colonies, nanny.

MamaFantastic · November 2013

TallaB said:

What is Mrs. Doubtfire considered!?

a manny, of course.

pannk · November 2013

celticlullaby said:

Does anyone else watch The League? I can't seriously use the term au pair anymore.

Yes and I have the same problem! It always makes me giggle.

TallaB · November 2013

KendraColeslaw said:

what about this dude?

Manny.

mrscrcalli · November 2013

oh nanna.. i would leave my baby with my dog any day! yeah i said it!

Serenla · November 2013

mrscrcalli said:
oh nanna.. i would leave my baby with my dog any day! yeah i said it!

Actually Newfies are really good with children, they can cook and clean after them as well.

Sisimama10 · November 2013

I read a book called "The Manny". It was not a romance. Surprisingly wonderful, trashy and great. You brought up memories.

Wow! I HATE when people say why have kids if you aren't going to raise them. Umm obviously so I can quit my job and live off them when they turn 18. I joke. But I truly hate that.

katieb7413 · November 2013

@thecuddleeffect Not that I have to justify my career or my life to you but I was very young with my daughter now 17. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time after her father passed away. She is incredible and has never felt she shouldn't have been born, nor did she feel like I didn't have time to raise her. That was a weird statement anyway.

I will have more time with this baby whether I have daycare/nanny/ or AuPair than I did with my daughter. My husband is off on Mondays and I have freedom to work from home sometimes so in reality my child only needs care 4 days a week just at odd times which is why I am seeking options.

For the record mean people probably shouldn't have kids either

^:)^

thecuddleeffect · November 2013

AprilMay9 said:

I think the whole idea is not for me, but that being said many nannies and au pairs require you to have separate living quarters for them. Many also have cars supplied for them by the family.

No trying to be a b*tch but why have kids if you and DH wont be around to raise them? could you change up your schedule or could DH maybe not work til 7 some nights?
Or you could shut the fuck up.

or you could get your panties out of your twat and see it was a question of whether or not her DH could work around his schedule so they could spend some time as a family. Excuse me for thinking people would want to eat dinner together! *gasp*

Serenla · November 2013

thecuddleeffect said:

AprilMay9 said:

thecuddleeffect said:
I think the whole idea is not for me, but that being said many nannies and au pairs require you to have separate living quarters for them. Many also have cars supplied for them by the family.

No trying to be a b*tch but why have kids if you and DH wont be around to raise them? could you change up your schedule or could DH maybe not work til 7 some nights?
Or you could shut the fuck up.

or you could get your panties out of your twat and see it was a question of whether or not her DH could work around his schedule so they could spend some time as a family. Excuse me for thinking people would want to eat dinner together! *gasp*

Nope you are the judgy McJudgepants cuntburger here hun.

Teresa1896 · November 2013

I wouldn't be down for having a nanny living in my house if I were gone as much as you are. Nothing to do with trusting my husband... Just a boundary issue.
I'm sorry, that wasn't very helpful. I think a live out nanny or nanny share could be a good idea.

thecuddleeffect · November 2013

katieb7413 said:

@thecuddleeffect Not that I have to justify my career or my life to you but I was very young with my daughter now 17. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time after her father passed away. She is incredible and has never felt she shouldn't have been born, nor did she feel like I didn't have time to raise her. That was a weird statement anyway.

I will have more time with this baby whether I have daycare/nanny/ or AuPair than I did with my daughter. My husband is off on Mondays and I have freedom to work from home sometimes so in reality my child only needs care 4 days a week just at odd times which is why I am seeking options.

For the record mean people probably shouldn't have kids either

^:)^

Thank you for the info. I was merely wondering if you would feel slighted by not having time together as a family. Your OP makes it seem as though you and DH wouldn't be around much. I know many people see time spent with family, dinners together, bed time together etc very important, I'm sure you are one of them as well.

My mother was a bit of a nanny, though not live in, to a family while we were growing up. We were basically raised together. My para in my classroom has a duaghter who Nannies for a family b/c they work a lot and she brings her son along. That might be an option, I know many mothers looking for work where they can bring their own children.

I'm not going to touch the mean comment really, but if only you knew darling....

Sisimama10 · November 2013

This thread just took a turn for the worse.

TallaB · November 2013

katieb7413 said:

@thecuddleeffect Not that I have to justify my career or my life to you but I was very young with my daughter now 17. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time after her father passed away. She is incredible and has never felt she shouldn't have been born, nor did she feel like I didn't have time to raise her. That was a weird statement anyway.

I will have more time with this baby whether I have daycare/nanny/ or AuPair than I did with my daughter. My husband is off on Mondays and I have freedom to work from home sometimes so in reality my child only needs care 4 days a week just at odd times which is why I am seeking options.

For the record mean people probably shouldn't have kids either

^:)^

Thank you for the info. I was merely wondering if you would feel slighted by not having time together as a family. Your OP makes it seem as though you and DH wouldn't be around much. I know many people see time spent with family, dinners together, bed time together etc very important, I'm sure you are one of them as well.

My mother was a bit of a nanny, though not live in, to a family while we were growing up. We were basically raised together. My para in my classroom has a duaghter who Nannies for a family b/c they work a lot and she brings her son along. That might be an option, I know many mothers looking for work where they can bring their own children.

I'm not going to touch the mean comment really, but if only you knew darling....

When you say you wonder why people have kids if they won't be around to raise them...that isn't merely wondering if they would prefer to do dinner together.

mrscrcalli · November 2013

Everyone is a little mean especially one time a month so really you're eliminating everyone from procreating. And that's just silly

RedDawnsRevenge · November 2013

I had a cousin who lived in San Fran and was an au pair. She loved doing it. She got her own room in one of the only Victorians in San Fran with a yard, took care of two kids and attended UCSF. The kids never acted like she was their mom. She had definite boundrys with the kids.

thecuddleeffect · November 2013

TallaB said:

katieb7413 said:

@thecuddleeffect Not that I have to justify my career or my life to you but I was very young with my daughter now 17. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time after her father passed away. She is incredible and has never felt she shouldn't have been born, nor did she feel like I didn't have time to raise her. That was a weird statement anyway.

I will have more time with this baby whether I have daycare/nanny/ or AuPair than I did with my daughter. My husband is off on Mondays and I have freedom to work from home sometimes so in reality my child only needs care 4 days a week just at odd times which is why I am seeking options.

For the record mean people probably shouldn't have kids either

^:)^

Thank you for the info. I was merely wondering if you would feel slighted by not having time together as a family. Your OP makes it seem as though you and DH wouldn't be around much. I know many people see time spent with family, dinners together, bed time together etc very important, I'm sure you are one of them as well.

My mother was a bit of a nanny, though not live in, to a family while we were growing up. We were basically raised together. My para in my classroom has a duaghter who Nannies for a family b/c they work a lot and she brings her son along. That might be an option, I know many mothers looking for work where they can bring their own children.

I'm not going to touch the mean comment really, but if only you knew darling....

When you say you wonder why people have kids if they won't be around to raise them...that isn't merely wondering if they would prefer to do dinner together.

I believe I said "having time together as a family" which I consider to be raising. Thanks tho!

Serenla · November 2013

Wait @mrscrcalli Mayne that is why most women cannot conceive then.

TallaB · November 2013

thecuddleeffect said:

TallaB said:

katieb7413 said:

@thecuddleeffect Not that I have to justify my career or my life to you but I was very young with my daughter now 17. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time after her father passed away. She is incredible and has never felt she shouldn't have been born, nor did she feel like I didn't have time to raise her. That was a weird statement anyway.

I will have more time with this baby whether I have daycare/nanny/ or AuPair than I did with my daughter. My husband is off on Mondays and I have freedom to work from home sometimes so in reality my child only needs care 4 days a week just at odd times which is why I am seeking options.

For the record mean people probably shouldn't have kids either

^:)^

Thank you for the info. I was merely wondering if you would feel slighted by not having time together as a family. Your OP makes it seem as though you and DH wouldn't be around much. I know many people see time spent with family, dinners together, bed time together etc very important, I'm sure you are one of them as well.

My mother was a bit of a nanny, though not live in, to a family while we were growing up. We were basically raised together. My para in my classroom has a duaghter who Nannies for a family b/c they work a lot and she brings her son along. That might be an option, I know many mothers looking for work where they can bring their own children.

I'm not going to touch the mean comment really, but if only you knew darling....

When you say you wonder why people have kids if they won't be around to raise them...that isn't merely wondering if they would prefer to do dinner together.

I believe I said "having time together as a family" which I consider to be raising. Thanks tho!

Well, I"m sure your family is completely perfect!

mrscrcalli · November 2013

A14 I love you :x
That's all..

Off to eat fountains of cheese

TallaB · November 2013

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