Adoptive Parents Want a Refund (what in the actual fluck?)

bethughknee · November 2013

https://www.wjla.com/articles/2013/11/ohio-couple-tries-to-return-adopted-son-face-misdemeanor-charges-96907.html

This article makes me sick, especially as a birth mother. I'm not a "parent" yet so I know I've never been at my wit's end with a kid but come ON. I will be signing up for Google Alerts on this story for sure. They don't even mention if they know where the boy is right now.

I think what really chaps me on this is that a pregnant teen could see this piece of news and have it terrify her out of adoption. We need more things that ENCOURAGE that option, IMO. End rant.

Ninjafarmerswife · November 2013

I just....can't. What is wrong with people?!

Unknown · November 2013

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bethughknee · November 2013

On the flip side of this...I'm wondering/hoping some other family will swoop in and "save" the kid. He shouldn't have to live with a family who doesn't want him anyway. I can't stop my mind from spinning on this.

Unknown · November 2013

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Kismc · November 2013

These parents are assholes!

bethughknee · November 2013

wilburbud said:

I want to know how long they have had this child. Have they had him since birth? Have they had him for 6 months?

I Googled the names of the couple and found a more local story. It just made me sadder to read it. They adopted him when he was 3 months old and an official said he's very hurt by the way this is unfolding. No shit. He's 9. He shouldn't have to deal with this, behavior issues or not.

https://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/cleveland-and-lisa-cox-return-adopted-son-to-ohio-childrens-services-after-raising-him-for-9-years

Roses87 · November 2013

Aw Poor kid.

HeartOverMind · November 2013

bethughknee said:

wilburbud said:

I want to know how long they have had this child. Have they had him since birth? Have they had him for 6 months?

I Googled the names of the couple and found a more local story. It just made me sadder to read it. They adopted him when he was 3 months old and an official said he's very hurt by the way this is unfolding. No shit. He's 9. He shouldn't have to deal with this, behavior issues or not.

https://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/cleveland-and-lisa-cox-return-adopted-son-to-ohio-childrens-services-after-raising-him-for-9-years

That's just pitiful! Poor boy!

kw42775 · November 2013

Heartbreaking.

vstevens · November 2013

THREE MONTHS? They've had him since he was three months?

This story is terrible. And disgusting. I hate reading things like this. What is wrong with these people? That poor, poor little boy.

LuGal623 · November 2013

This story is absolutely heartbreaking and I agree with you @bethughknee I worry that it will only scare away teen Mom's who were thinking of adoption. This poor kid will be mostly aware of all of this too since it's playing out in the news.

Unknown · November 2013

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MamaP19 · November 2013

This makes me so sad. It's also very very close to home for me. I mean, literally, I live in a neighboring county. These people are awful.

"the parents were frustrated that the boy would not agree to get help for his behavioral issues."

WTF..

moosebaby2011 · November 2013

That's horrifying!

HeartOverMind · November 2013

wilburbud said:

Wow. That makes this worse for me. They have had 9 years to bond and raise and fall in love with this child. I'm sorry but these people sound so mentally screwed up, I'm sure that this child behaves this way BECAUSE of them. Worthless.

THIS!!!

This situation is mind-boggling!

miam4 · November 2013

So they purchased the kid and want to return? Is it how they see it?? Because that's how I see this absurd! It is just like "well, I went to the mall and I got this new shoes, I don't want them anymore let's return it!"

People are loosing their common sense! Yeah maybe that kid has some issues, but if so, when you adopt you go under a preparation for months to be able to be prepared for possible misbehavior. That's why there are professionals out there to try to help. Now, immagine this poor kid, now he knows that not even his adoptive parents want him.

Sad thing...

OSUWifey09 · November 2013

After reading that second story - the one that mentioned that they've had him since he was THREE MONTHS OLD - I'm so pissed at the parents. You've raised this child since he was a baby and presumably provided a loving and supportive home...then you just basically dump him? I can't imagine what kind of toll that's taken on the child, who has only known those people as his parents. I know there are two sides to every story, but seriously. This pisses me off. That poor child.

vstevens · November 2013

wilburbud said:

Wow. That makes this worse for me. They have had 9 years to bond and raise and fall in love with this child. I'm sorry but these people sound so mentally screwed up, I'm sure that this child behaves this way BECAUSE of them. Worthless.

Exactly what I was thinking...

SandFHasse · November 2013

The poor kid.... They're all he's known. He's going to be devastated, not to mention he probably feels so unwanted.

twobluelines · November 2013

What a bunch of low-life scum these "parents" are. They don't deserve a child and I hope that poor boy is given a good forever family with help to deal with the scars he will have from having to live with these ass holes.

SvedkaStoli · November 2013

Long long time ago I saw an episode of a talk show where parents wanted to give back tier internationally adopted child bc of behavior. The host ended up shaming them into counseling. But this....this is just trash. This is also close to home. Mr. S is adopted and he was not an easy child at all. And he was certainly a very very difficult teenager. My ILs would never even think of doing anything like this. In fact, Mr. S' sister wrote a letter to the birth mother telling her that Mr. S already has a family when things went south. This leaves me at loss for words.

jessicacss · November 2013

What is wrong with people? Disgusting...

megngregk · November 2013

bethughknee said:

On the flip side of this...I'm wondering/hoping some other family will swoop in and "save" the kid. He shouldn't have to live with a family who doesn't want him anyway. I can't stop my mind from spinning on this.

This. I have no words.

valigrl21 · November 2013

They have had him for 9 years and then try to "return" him...how could anyone do that to a child? Oh that breaks my heart

lolinshag · November 2013

I just want to run go hug that poor boy!

ashybear · November 2013

This absolutely breaks my heart, but also makes me so so so effing angry. It is no different than birth parents trying to turn in their child because of behavioral issues: They made the choice years ago to have this family, and now because it's harder than they thought, they think they can just give up?

My SIL is in the process of adopting right now, and I almost physically hit my other SIL when she asked "What do you do if there are issues with the kid you're given?" Um, seriously? You work on them? The same way you do with your three effing children!

I just...can't...UGH.

HereWeGo2 · November 2013

Wow...

The second article seems to say they have other kids too. I can't imagine how they must feel! "Tommy was bad so Mom and Dad gave him back, we better not be bad!" That type of fear is dangerous!

The best line in the article is this one:
“A parent is a parent and a 9-year-old is a 9-year-old. If your 9-year-old needs help, you get him help. It is not a question of a 9-year-old wanting it or not.”

Read more: https://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/cleveland-and-lisa-cox-return-adopted-son-to-ohio-childrens-services-after-raising-him-for-9-years#ixzz2kkErpsuo

LabPupLuv · November 2013

This makes me sick.

PreDempsey · November 2013

I wonder how much time they spent in their $300k+ home really trying to come up with a solution for their child's behavioral issues. I feel terrible for that poor kid and every family that got passed up in the adoption process for these chumps.

nancyvi · November 2013

This whole thing just breaks my heart. The poor kid will either go back to that awful couple or go into a foster program. I just hope he gets the help he needs.

shortstuff15 · November 2013

As a future adoptive parent this chaps me. It's not like your adopted children are any different than your biological children. Most people (in fact the vast majority) don't just up and say "well I'm done being a parent so anybody want my kids?" so why on earth would an adoptive parent think they could do that? Great message you are sending to your kid - "hey look, you are disposable!" What an awful story.

SunflowersBride · November 2013

These are just terrible, terrible people. I feel so bad for the child they abandoned, and I love that their reasoning is that he "didn't agree to get help for his behavioral issues". He's 9 for christ's sake! Be a parent and MAKE him get help if things are that bad!

Toribaker171 · November 2013

You can't blame the child saying its a "bad seed", they can only blame the parenting.... Sounds to me like they don't show the 9 year old enough love and care to begin with. People like this shouldn't have children at all.... Who's to say their other kids will be "good enough" for them to want to keep! Hope this child gets the family he deserves, and doesn't have to suffer the long term consequences of these sick and twisted people! And I hope these "parents", if you can even call them that, suffer at the hands of the court for what they are doing.

Jen4033 · November 2013

Wow... I just can't with this... it churns my stomach.

Kc101212 · November 2013

HereWeGo2 said:

Wow... The second article seems to say they have other kids too. I can't imagine how they must feel! "Tommy was bad so Mom and Dad gave him back, we better not be bad!" That type of fear is dangerous! The best line in the article is this one: “A parent is a parent and a 9-year-old is a 9-year-old. If your 9-year-old needs help, you get him help. It is not a question of a 9-year-old wanting it or not.” Read more: https://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/cleveland-and-lisa-cox-return-adopted-son-to-ohio-childrens-services-after-raising-him-for-9-years#ixzz2kkErpsuo

This makes me cry. I just can't imagine, that poor boy. I hope he finds a loving family that can help him get through this.

jlmckenzie · November 2013

Poor child. Sadly, this sort of thing is more common than you would think. People adopt a child, have a difficult time raising the child, and then do everything in their power to offload the kid. They actually ran a highlight about "re-homing" on the Today show a few months back. Heartbreaking...

https://investigations.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/09/09/20389259-inside-americas-underground-network-for-adopted-children

dland0201 · November 2013

Poor boy

jldubb0626 · November 2013

Wow. That's disgusting.

silentsiren11 · November 2013

This is in my local area too... So sad.

hopeful808 · November 2013

Toribaker171 said:

You can't blame the child saying its a "bad seed", they can only blame the parenting.... Sounds to me like they don't show the 9 year old enough love and care to begin with. People like this shouldn't have children at all.... Who's to say their other kids will be "good enough" for them to want to keep! Hope this child gets the family he deserves, and doesn't have to suffer the long term consequences of these sick and twisted people! And I hope these "parents", if you can even call them that, suffer at the hands of the court for what they are doing.

If they adopted him when he was 3 months, he still could have significant psychological issues that stem from the first three months of life. Reactive attachment disorder is just one disorder occurs from the care given in the first few months of life. It's also a disorder that can be extremely difficult to treat. Often no amount of love after that developmental stage can reverse the damage done.

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