UO/Confessions

Rynleigh · November 2013

My parents were the sort who expected you to eat everything on your plate, and for a long time they would sit at the table and keep me up all night trying to force feed me anytime they made something I didn't like... when that didn't work, they started saving meals from the night before and refusing to let me eat anything else until I ate that food... when that didn't work, they started threatening and hitting... when that didn't work, they started trying to humiliate and embarrass. I would eat whenever there was food available that I could tolerate, and went without when I had to. If they'd ever put in the effort to just make simple changes, like not adding raw onions to everything, or setting aside a portion of pasta sauce before adding meat to everyone else's, or not requiring consumption of turkey in order to have stuffing and potatoes, etc etc, I'd have eaten much better food.

I'm all about compromising to make meals pleasant for everyone in our home. When I make spaghetti, I keep the noodles, meat, sauce, and "toppings" separate. Aurielle likes noodles with butter and onions. Alyce likes noodles with sauce, meat, and olives. DH likes "everything". I like noodles, sauce, and cheese. For me, it isn't "more" work to just keep some things separate, so that EVERYONE can happily enjoy their spaghetti instead of picking out things they dislike or choking down food they don't like. If I make sides that not everyone likes, they don't have to eat those sides. When I pick meats, I go for meats that all of us like - like chicken or pork - instead of meats that only a couple of us like - like fish or beef. No one is ever told that they "must" eat something. No one ever complains if there is something on their plate that they don't like - they just offer it to someone else, or toss it out. We have a LOT of feedback in our house, too. It is not uncommon to hear, "I liked the way you made X this time, I like it better than the way you usually make it", or "I don't like X when you cook it this way.. could we try it X way another time?"

Having the open communication about food has been an unexpectedly positive thing in my family life, as an adult.

wifeofadam · November 2013

My parents had the clean your plate rule too. My grandma was especially bad about it. One morning she was watching me while my parents were out of town and she actually made me stay home from school because I didn't finish my breakfast. I had to sit at the table until it was done, which ended up being all day or until my mom found out and told my grandma to send me to school. It was crazy.

I think that children are naturally better at reading their body cues. They eat when hungry and don't eat when they aren't. And I also notice that they are ravenous on days that they are really active and then don't want to eat much during the winter months when we are inside and inactive. It seems like adults ruin their ability to read their bodies' signals by offering them too many snacks and sugary treats just because. I would venture to say that the majority of the kids I know don't ever really feel hunger because they get so many snacks, so because they don't really ever get hungry, they are picky with what they eat. If a child is truly hungry, they are going to eat what is in front of them, I think.

My husband is a lot like a child in this way. He listens to body cues and often on the weekends if he's having a lazy day he won't eat all day long. I'll ask him if he's hungry and he'll say he hasn't worked hard enough to be hungry. But man alive, if he is hungry from working outside all day, he'll eat anything you put in front of him no matter what it tastes like.

DublinMama · November 2013

I have a new one, now that it's the next day. It's 1:00 p.m. here. DH is home all day, which he is usually not. I am at not at work either. Solely because I would not be able to do it if it was a regular Monday, I am going to have wine. I made a crock pot chicken noodle soup, so dinner is taken care of, and we just put the finishing touches on our baby proofing, so DS now has a safe free reign over the living room. Clink!
:P

TarheelMama202 · November 2013

DC2London said:
Ohhhh I have an actually unpopular opinion: I am so not a fan of the "booties" trend. Especially the black biker style ones. WTF? Do they come with a spiral perm and Jordache jeans? I feel like the wardrobe department from Full House has taken over the world lately.

Hahahahaha I am dying over here. Yes!

jenniferraborn · November 2013

My confession is that I took our 19 month old foster son to daycare today even though I didn't have to work because I just wanted a break :-( I then proceeded to be lazy all day (other than a little housework this morning)

Rynleigh · November 2013

Confession:

I don't like to hold Simon as much as I like to hold Jamie. Simon is bigger, heavier, and REFUSES to hold still unless he's laying back and drinking... Jamie is tiny and clings like a little monkey all the time unless he sees something he wants to get his hands on. It makes me feel like a horrible person to choose to hold one over the other when we go places, but I feel exhausted after just a couple of minutes of trying to hold Sims.

ally2011 · November 2013

jenniferraborn said:

My confession is that I took our 19 month old foster son to daycare today even though I didn't have to work because I just wanted a break :-( I then proceeded to be lazy all day (other than a little housework this morning)

We are getting licensed as a foster home too! I have also been lazy today but decided to just embrace it and catch up on my Bible study that our Sunday school class is doing. I am way behind.

jenniferraborn · November 2013

@ally2011 It is a rewarding experience. We had a 7yrold/2yr old brother sister for a year before DD was born. Took a few months off and now have a 19mth old boy. It is one of the best things that I have ever done to be able to help the little ones who have done absolutely nothing to causetheir situation.

wifeofadam · November 2013

I just have to say how much I admire those of you that are doing the fostering. What a tough job!! How do you keep yourselves from not getting too attached and falling apart when the children leave? DH and I have talked about fostering one day when our kids are a little older, but that is the part that always worries me. I'm not sure I could handle growing so close to a child and then having them leave. Some of our friends foster and they have told us about having to say goodbye to the children and knowing that they are going back into a bad environment. It's so heartbreaking, although I know that our friends are really amazing people and that those kids are lucky to have them in their lives even if only for a short period of time. I'm sure the impact that you ladies have on those kids will remain with them always. What a blessing!

DublinMama · November 2013

I would just like to give a big shout to @drea926 for starting this thread! It has taken on a few different identities since it's inception and has been great fun to read and be a part of! Breathed a little new life into our quiet place. And thanks to everyone who has participated!
=D>

DublinMama · November 2013

Sagen said:

I think wine is awful tasting, I don't drink it or get it? Is it an acquired taste? I have only had a small amount to try, bleh.

I would say it is an acquired taste. When I was in my early twenties I could only do the blush, sweet wines that were basically fermented fruit juice. Then those became too sweet and I moved to white. Now my preference is actually a pretty full-bodied red. But it's also not for everyone, like any booze. I hardly ever have a lick of hard liquor. And if it's a brown hard liquor, it's definitely not for me. I think alcohol in general is an acquired taste lol.

Drea926 · November 2013

@DublinMama thanks for the shout out!
I'm pumped this thread is still kickin'!

I've been MIA because I went to visit my friend that had twins 3 weeks ago. We ordered Chinese and had a glass of Riesling. It was divine!

And yes wine is an acquired taste. I went from Arbor Mist to Franzia and eventually found my way to Yellowtail Shiraz. If I have that now I feel like a 21 year old girl again drowning her sorrows because she's in love with a Marine who has PTSD. Man I've come a long way. :P

Edited - Deleted part of my post because of its insensitive nature. I sincerely apologize for my lapse in judgment.

DublinMama · November 2013

Drea926 said:

@DublinMama thanks for the shout out! I'm pumped this thread is still kickin'! I've been MIA because I went to visit my friend that had twins 3 weeks ago. We ordered Chinese and had a glass of Riesling. It was divine! And yes wine is an acquired taste. I went from Arbor Mist to Franzia and eventually found my way to Yellowtail Shiraz. If I have that now I feel like a 21 year old girl again drowning her sorrows because she's in love with a Marine who has PTSD. Man I've come a long way. :P ETA - The previously mentioned Marine is not DH. I married a caring, nerdy computer programmer who did not need "saving". And just for funsies- Anyone else go through a Florence Nightingale phase? And if so did you marry them?

My DH has PTSD. Actually I guess it's called Complex PTSD, because it's not from once isolated event, but long term trauma. It's been a wild ride. But he wasn't a Marine lol. I didn't save him. He saved himself through therapy and finding a medication that worked for him. I am NOT AT ALL OFFENDED by your aforementioned comments, though (and I know you, so I know you'll be worried

). I feel like we can sort of get through anything now that we've been through his diagnosis and treatment. But I will be straight up and say it would definitely have been a prettier picture if he had never had it at all.

Edited for typos, and because @kleigh926, I wanted you let you know that you can message me anytime. I didn't say anything in your first post. But @drea926 gave me the great opportunity to let you know that you're not flying solo.

Drea926 · November 2013

DublinMama said:

Drea926 said:

@DublinMama thanks for the shout out!
I'm pumped this thread is still kickin'!

I've been MIA because I went to visit my friend that had twins 3 weeks ago. We ordered Chinese and had a glass of Riesling. It was divine!

And yes wine is an acquired taste. I went from Arbor Mist to Franzia and eventually found my way to Yellowtail Shiraz. If I have that now I feel like a 21 year old girl again drowning her sorrows because she's in love with a Marine who has PTSD. Man I've come a long way. :P

ETA - The previously mentioned Marine is not DH. I married a caring, nerdy computer programmer who did not need "saving".

And just for funsies-

Anyone else go through a Florence Nightingale phase? And if so did you marry them?

My DH has PTSD. Actually I guess it's called Complex PTSD, because it's not from once isolated event, but long term trauma. It's been a wild ride. But he wasn't a Marine lol. I didn't save him. He saved himself through therapy and finding a medication that worked for him. I am NOT AT ALL OFFENDED by your aforementioned comments, though (and I know you, so I know you'll be worried

). I feel like we can sort of get through anything now that we've been through his diagnosis and treatment. But I will be straight up and say it would definitely have been a prettier picture if he had never had it at all.

Edited for typos.

Good for your DH for getting help - that's really commendable. This guy was kind of a hot mess. I loved him a lot but he just couldn't.

And you know me way too well because I instantly worried I offended you!

DublinMama · November 2013

Doesn't it suck? Sometimes it's like two steps forward and three steps back. I maintain that mental illness is hard, but loving someone with one is almost harder. No offense taken here! That's the benefit of being friends IRL!
:-bd

Edit: Well, that and Saturday afternoons spent drinking wine in chain restaurants across greater New England!

jenniferraborn · November 2013

@+adamwife+ I'll be honest....letting them leave is hard. There is no way around that. But it is a great feeling to know that you are doing something that is not selfish and see how much they can grow and change in a nurturing environment. We have potty trained, moved to a big girl bed, taught to read, taught to ride a bike etc etc. Our kids have been seriously amazing. When we started I thought "Yeah,I like children and it seems like a good thing to do to help those in need." but i always thought they would be visitors....it didn't not take me long to realize how wrong I was. I love our kids like they are mine and that is not just something that I say. They stop being visitors after the first week. You have them 24/7 good times(celebrating the first 100 sight words after he was struggling during his 2nd year in kindergarten was awesome) and bad(lice, the flu, you name it) you are mom and dad. It absolutely broke my heart to see our last kids go but you know what...their mom is getting out of rehab on Friday after a year clean (they left 6 days before DD was born to go live there with her.) and they are coming to see us!! I could not be more excited to see my babies...and they can not wait to meet DD...since they were with me through the entire pregnancy but have only seen pictures. Each child we foster changes my life forever and I hope we change theirs. The hardest part is knowing that they might not always be going back into the best of situations....that is by far the hardest part because these children are so resilient and they deserve the world...Sorry for the book....something that I am very passionate about.

Drea926 · November 2013

@DublinMama - Bump Besties For Life :-bd

Drea926 · November 2013

@kleigh926 - I realize my previous post was incredibly insensitive to your situation right now. I am deeply, deeply sorry - I was not even thinking.

When I wrote that I was thinking of my silly college girl phase and meant it more along the lines of "Did you marry a bad boy or good boy" type deal.

I'm so so sorry. I kind of feel like an a-hole. :-(

octobermama87 · November 2013

@Drea926 -yeah, unfortunately I'm 26 and still in the arbor mist phase. I wish I liked wine more, but anything stronger than something like shutter homes blush gives me instant heartburn!!!!! It's one of the very few things that will (give me heartburn). Don't know how to get past it. What would you, or any of you other wine-os suggest for me that won't give me heartburn???? Help. Lol

penguingrrl · November 2013

PeanutR1 said:

PeanutR1 said:

expatmama said:

Was being over the top by calling us anti-bump but this is the most conservative, snark-free board I have ever seen on here.

That said, I have no idea who is actually trying to 'stifle' Christmas, and I have yet to see an example of actual stifling. My parent's town has the manger scene outside of town hall along with a Christmas tree, and a menorah during Hanukkah.

If there is stifling, then I understand that --- but demanding that people wish you a Merry Christmas rather than a Happy Holidays gets an eye roll from me. Seriously, spend some time as a minority anywhere before complaining about being the majority…. it may look like they get 'all the privileges' but that is only because they are trying to get halfway to where you are.

It's fine if other people want to wish me Happy holidays. Doesn't bother me one bit. But what gets an eye roll from me is when it's demanded that I not say "Merry Christmas" bc it's offensive. I'm a female conservative... In today's world, I'd say that's a minority!!

Seriously? Cry me a river. You really think being cognizant that not everyone believes and celebrates as you do is offensive? And if you think you're some persecuted minority you really need to take a walk in someone else's shoes for a day. Even NJ, a traditionally blue state, just reelected an over-the-top conservative governor. As a conservative you're most certainly not a minority in this country even if thinking about the feelings of others makes it feel that way.
CHRISTIE? over the top? You must not follow politics. He's attacked by his own party for being too moderate. I personally love the hell out of him because he speaks his mind. Merry Christmas to you.

He fought the passage of gay marriage as hard as he could, vetoed it when both houses voted overwhelmingly for it and sued when the state supreme court ruled it was illegal not to allow it due to the striking down of DOMA. He also defunded Planned Parenthood immediately after taking office. Both are extremely conservative moves, most likely in courting conservatives on the national scene. In addition he destroyed NJs public schools, which were as asset before and brought people in frtom other places.

He also claims to be a fiscal conservative but wasted $12M of tax payer money on a special election 3 weeks before our scheduled election because he knew having Booker on the ticket would hurt his chances of reelection. Biggest waste of $12M possible for a lying liar who calls himself a fiscal con.

Drea926 · November 2013

may10587@hotmail.com said:
@Drea926 -yeah, unfortunately I'm 26 and still in the arbor mist phase. I wish I liked wine more, but anything stronger than something like shutter homes blush gives me instant heartburn!!!!! It's one of the very few things that will (give me heartburn). Don't know how to get past it. What would you, or any of you other wine-os suggest for me that won't give me heartburn???? Help. Lol

I used to struggle with chronic heartburn and took prilosec daily. I actually found that red wine didn't bother me but certain whites would trigger it.

DublinMama · November 2013

may10587@hotmail.com said:

@Drea926 -yeah, unfortunately I'm 26 and still in the arbor mist phase. I wish I liked wine more, but anything stronger than something like shutter homes blush gives me instant heartburn!!!!! It's one of the very few things that will (give me heartburn). Don't know how to get past it. What would you, or any of you other wine-os suggest for me that won't give me heartburn???? Help. Lol

This is not meant to be snarky at all, but what about Pepcid or Zantac or something? If you just want to drink wine casually (unlike me who keeps a stockpile the way some Doomsday preppers maintain their stash...) you could just pop one as you have a glass. Are you drinking the red or white Arbor Mists? Whichever it is my guess would be to try to opposite variety to see how you do!

octobermama87 · November 2013

Yeah, I've tried a few sips here and there of yellow tail red wine on the occasion (maybe once a yr) when DH picks up a bottle. Instant heartburn. I NEVER had heartburn until I got pregnant. And once DS was born, heartburn went away almost completely- with the exception of like 3 things. Wine being one of them. I'm not sure though what a "good" wine is. Like I said before, I can only drink blush without getting heartburn. Ugh. Suggestions? :-?

Drea926 · November 2013

@may10587 - in terms of blush wine, you can find some pretty nice ones if you hunt. I've found a blush wine that was technically a Malbec (Spanish red) so it packed a bit of a punch but was light and fruity and the same time. I can't remember the name of it though!

CamMyMan · November 2013

OMG WINE! I miss wine. I used to carry around a jug of Carlos Rossi at parties in college and get so sloshed \:D/ my love for cheapo wine knows no bounds!

jdilorenzo · November 2013

I am not a wine person at all either. I wish I was. I always wanted to be one of those ladies who orders wine with dinner. Instead I am the girl who likes beers beers beers.
I also understand the Merry Christmas/ happy holiday thing. But I say Merry Christmas because that's what I celebrate and I am ordering cards that say Merry Christmas on purpose. I send Christmas cards not holiday cards.

And my husband, mom, mother in law, and brother in law are teachers and we live in Jersey so I hear all about how horrible Christie is.

DublinMama · November 2013

There is a table red called Menage a Trois that I have loved for a while. There is also a wine called Justin the Orphan (bizarre) that is delish. These are all reds, which is what I predominantly drink. I tend to go for pinot grigios or sauvignon blancs when it comes to whites, but don't have a favorite brand of those. Whatever is on sale lol.

Drea926 · November 2013

Love Menage a Trois wine! Apothic Red is pretty awesome too!

Puck1182 · November 2013

I love that this UO/Confessions thread has turned into a discussion on wine. Is it sad that I'm not surprised by this? My go-to wines are Yellowtail's Shiraz if I want red, and Riesling if I want white. And if I want a non-wine-y wine, ChocoVine all the way!!

My confession is that, while I am a big supporting I breastfeeding, I never considered myself a "lactivist" until a couple of hours ago. (See my post about that judge ordering a mom to stop breastfeeding so her 10 month old could have overnight visits with the dad.) Now I kind of want to organize a nurse-in. But I'm pretty sure I'd get severely reprimanded if I did that, since my job requires that I maintain "professional independence." :-p

Drea926 · November 2013

Secret Confession- I made a pact with myself to DTD with DH for a week. No real reason - just for kicks. ;-) Normally we're at a 1-2 x a week deal so I'm going to try and spice things up!

penguingrrl · November 2013

PeanutR1 said:

Yeah, well the teachers hate Christie b/c he's actually making them contribute to benefits and put in a whole 4 years for tenure. Oooooh. He's added more charter schools and believes in school choice. That doesn't mean he "destroyed NJs schools". I just think it's a joke to imply that he's a "crazy right winger" then admit in the same breath that he wins a blue state and has crazy awesome approval ratings. Not logical.

My point is that when a pretty serious right winger is even winning NJ you aren't a minority as a conservative. I find it weird that he has high approval ratings when living here I don't know anyone who can stand him.

kleigh926 · November 2013

@kleigh926 - I realize my previous post was incredibly insensitive to your situation right now. I am deeply, deeply sorry - I was not even thinking.

When I wrote that I was thinking of my silly college girl phase and meant it more along the lines of "Did you marry a bad boy or good boy" type deal.

I'm so so sorry. I kind of feel like an a-hole. :-(

It's okay. I knew what you were trying to say and I knew you didn't mean any harm

octobermama87 · November 2013

DC2London said:

may10587@hotmail.com said:

@Drea926 -yeah, unfortunately I'm 26 and still in the arbor mist phase. I wish I liked wine more, but anything stronger than something like shutter homes blush gives me instant heartburn!!!!! It's one of the very few things that will (give me heartburn). Don't know how to get past it. What would you, or any of you other wine-os suggest for me that won't give me heartburn???? Help.

Heartburn is actually a histamine response. I wonder if you are allergic to grapes or to sulfites.

I don't think I'm allergic to grapes, I eat them ALL. THE. TIME. ....LOVE THEM. lol. It's like my 2nd favorite fruit. All my life. Sulfites? Don't even know what it is or what contains this. I'm not aware of any food allergies actually. Not allergic to anything at all. The only weird thing (allergy/ histamine related) that I've ever experienced was when I had a mc (1st pregnancy) - before I knew that I had mc'd, I was breaking out with these huge welts on random spots on my body, itchy as hell, a couple times a week. Then even after my D&C I was still getting the welts. I finally attributed them to my body's rejection of the baby and the hormones. It lasted for about 3-4 months. Never happened again.

penguingrrl · November 2013

PeanutR1 said:

penguingrrl said:

PeanutR1 said:

Yeah, well the teachers hate Christie b/c he's actually making them contribute to benefits and put in a whole 4 years for tenure. Oooooh. He's added more charter schools and believes in school choice. That doesn't mean he "destroyed NJs schools". I just think it's a joke to imply that he's a "crazy right winger" then admit in the same breath that he wins a blue state and has crazy awesome approval ratings. Not logical.

My point is that when a pretty serious right winger is even winning NJ you aren't a minority as a conservative. I find it weird that he has high approval ratings when living here I don't know anyone who can stand him.

Well, now you know of one! And my DH, so make that two! And his officemate and his wife - 4. There you go. And I think my county went for Booker about 78%.... Talk about a lying liar. The man never even lived in the city he was mayor of. So yeah, as far as being the minority in my community...

I don't love Booker, I do think he's shady as a politician (although I think he's an awesome person). I was pretty disappointed Rush Holt didn't get the nomination.

And yeah, you may be the first person I've met in NJ (and I've lived here my whole life so I know a lot of people) who doesn't see Christie as dishonest and disingenuous. Even my friends who were willing to throw him a bone lost it after he wasted all that money on that special election.

Drea926 · November 2013

kleigh926 said:

Drea926 said:
@kleigh926 - I realize my previous post was incredibly insensitive to your situation right now. I am deeply, deeply sorry - I was not even thinking.

When I wrote that I was thinking of my silly college girl phase and meant it more along the lines of "Did you marry a bad boy or good boy" type deal.

I'm so so sorry. I kind of feel like an a-hole. :-(
It's okay. I knew what you were trying to say and I knew you didn't mean any harm

Thanks. I think you're super sweet and I would never want to hurt your feelings. Especially since we are birthday buddies!

octobermama87 · November 2013

may10587@hotmail.com said:

DC2London said:

may10587@hotmail.com said:

@Drea926 -yeah, unfortunately I'm 26 and still in the arbor mist phase. I wish I liked wine more, but anything stronger than something like shutter homes blush gives me instant heartburn!!!!! It's one of the very few things that will (give me heartburn). Don't know how to get past it. What would you, or any of you other wine-os suggest for me that won't give me heartburn???? Help.

Heartburn is actually a histamine response. I wonder if you are allergic to grapes or to sulfites.

I don't think I'm allergic to grapes, I eat them ALL. THE. TIME. ....LOVE THEM. lol. It's like my 2nd favorite fruit. All my life. Sulfites? Don't even know what it is or what contains this. I'm not aware of any food allergies actually. Not allergic to anything at all. The only weird thing (allergy/ histamine related) that I've ever experienced was when I had a mc (1st pregnancy) - before I knew that I had mc'd, I was breaking out with these huge welts on random spots on my body, itchy as hell, a couple times a week. Then even after my D&C I was still getting the welts. I finally attributed them to my body's rejection of the baby and the hormones. It lasted for about 3-4 months. Never happened again.

penguingrrl · November 2013

verovladamir said:

penguingrrl said:

+adamwife+ said:

The whole not understanding the TV show thing reminded me of another common parent complaint that confuses m. I don't get it when parents say "My kid will only eat chicken nuggets or macaroni and cheese!" It makes no sense. Doesn't the parent have control over what their child eats? I mean, if you want them to eat something other than chicken nuggets or macaroni, don't buy that stuff and feed them what you want them to eat. It's that simple.

And yes, I realize that some kids have serious food aversions or texture issues, but those kids are a minority and usually have other issues. I'm talking about your average toddler or kid who throws a fit when you put something green on their plate. All of my kids have gone through a normal veggie aversion phase, but we push through and continue to put it on their plate without offering other options. If they are truly hungry, they will eat it. The reason they will only eat chicken nuggets is because you let them only eat chicken nuggets, IMO.

Right there with you. I get compliments all the time for how well my kids eat fruits and veggies. I always explain that it's all I offered when they were little so that's what they developed a taste for. My middle child gave me issues with foods and my oldest has gone through periods of pickiness. But eating fruits and veggies was never optional so both always ate them. Kids eat what they're exposed to.

That's not to say my kids don't eat chicken nuggets or the like. They get that stuff too. But it was never all they would eat because they would have starved in my house. We don't keep it in the house so even if they wanted to go on hunger strike for it they would eventually have had to give in since it wasn't even available.

I also don't stress if they miss a meal or two. Probably because we don't have weight issues so we've never been pushed to feed them whatever they would eat. So if they throw a fit and don't want what I cooked for dinner they go to bed without dinner. If they wake up hungry I offer to warm their plate up (I will adapt what I make to their tastes, removing any and all sauces from their portions, less spice than DH and I like if it's really hot, etc).

I know this one was pages back, but I just got home from work and I have to respond.
This is totally how I was raised/how I want to raise my kids. My sister-in-law's kids EAT NOTHING. Literally, my niece eats potato chips (only the Lays brand), hard salami (only a certrain brand from a deli downtown, not the kind at the grocery store), summer sausage (not the only Johnsonville) and watermelon. Seriously. That's it.
My in-laws are of the opinion that as long as DS eats something, it's better than nothing, so MIL will make him like 3 different meals, and let him have snacks. I'm working up the courage to put my foot down, but it's tough because they watch my kids a lot. Also because I have to get through to DH first. He is in the same camp as his parents, but then complains about his sister's kids and their terrible habits.
ugh....

I would have a sit down now and discuss this. Kids eat what they're exposed to. If your SILs kid will only eat salami and potato chips not only is she likely malnourished, but it's also because she was exposed to those things and allowed to eat only those things.

I know kids go through picky phases. I'm happy to accommodate certain things. My daughters both can't handle ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken or any other) so I don't make things that have that or if I do I make them an alternate protein source. Or make sure they get protein with lunch and have something I know they'll eat at the dinner table. I always make sure there's at least one dish everyone likes on the table, although for a while with my middle she would eat the steamed broccoli or steamed green beans and nothing else. Or just the brown rice or whatever. I make sure all options are nutritious and offer them what I made.

One thing my pediatrician said that I also keep in mind is that toddler diets should be measured by the week, not the day. So if all they want for a few days is bananas, don't worry about it as long as they compensate for it with protein another day. Use what they've eaten over the week, not the day, to determine if they're getting a balanced diet. When I look at how my girls eat based on that they're very healthy eaters even if some days they only want bread or only want yogurt or whatever.

amaxwell1 · November 2013

knickerbockers said:

@dublinmama @drea926 oh lord, i am so jealous of you. moreso about the wine than the nookie (sorry DH, lol!) My kid still wakes up one smillion trillion times a night to nurse and we often bed share so no wines for me.

My confession is hub and i almost never do it. like, ever. Not that DH doesn't try. I am NEVER in the mood and I'm pretty sure thats attributed in part to breastfeeding. Also, ds is so clingy and high-maintenance that I am just "touched out" a lot of the time. When he is sleeping, the thought of anyone else touching me almost makes my skin crawl. Mama just needs some space. Seeing all that typed out makes me realize how bad the situation is. Poor DH!
+1. We've had so many discussions about this and how I need to step it up but nothing ever changes. I'm just not into it.

make that a +2...but in my defense DH is working for the railroad while DD and I are at home in bed.

amaxwell1 · November 2013

DublinMama said:

Oh! Oh! I have another one. I hate this new trend with kids where everyone makes the team, everyone gets a medal or a prize. No. That's not how life works. They're not all going to get into Harvard. They're not all going to get the dream job. Why do we insist on creating a culture that exists nowhere else in the real world? I hope one day my kid doesn't make the team, so he learns how to cope with disappointment and learn what his true talents and abilities are.

Exactly! I hope Audra learns what failure is - because she will work harder and strive to be better

penguingrrl · November 2013

verovladamir said:

penguingrrl said:

...

I would have a sit down now and discuss this. Kids eat what they're exposed to. If your SILs kid will only eat salami and potato chips not only is she likely malnourished, but it's also because she was exposed to those things and allowed to eat only those things.

I know kids go through picky phases. I'm happy to accommodate certain things. My daughters both can't handle ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken or any other) so I don't make things that have that or if I do I make them an alternate protein source. Or make sure they get protein with lunch and have something I know they'll eat at the dinner table. I always make sure there's at least one dish everyone likes on the table, although for a while with my middle she would eat the steamed broccoli or steamed green beans and nothing else. Or just the brown rice or whatever. I make sure all options are nutritious and offer them what I made.

One thing my pediatrician said that I also keep in mind is that toddler diets should be measured by the week, not the day. So if all they want for a few days is bananas, don't worry about it as long as they compensate for it with protein another day. Use what they've eaten over the week, not the day, to determine if they're getting a balanced diet. When I look at how my girls eat based on that they're very healthy eaters even if some days they only want bread or only want yogurt or whatever.

I have the same motto as my mom: You always have a choice for dinner. Eat it, or don't. DH is just so concerned about DS eating. Same with MIL. They will feed him anything just to get him to eat. I'm not like that. He isn't going to die between breakfast and dinner if he doesn't like what's for lunch. He will be just fine.
DH also has some food issues too though. He gets what I call "food crabby." If I make a nice chefs salad for dinner, he will mope around because it isn't a big meat and potatos meal. He is overweight, and we both tried weight watchers after I had DS. Worst months of my life, listening to him constantly complain.... He needs pot roast to survive, I think....

That's definitely something you two need to work through. Unless your child is failure to thrive (in which case I would offer whatever nutritious options got them to eat) I see no reason to offer multiple things. I have days I'm hungrier and days I'm just not as hungry, so I figure the kids do too.

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