UO/Confessions

Drea926

Let's spice it up! I'm bored!

Confession: I'm starting this with the hopes of a controversy. I'm super nonconfrontational but that doesn't mean I don't like reading it. ;-)

holly321

We were supposed to go to my friends 2 year olds's birthday party today, but I have a headache.... So we stayed home. It secretly makes me happy. His first bday party was miserable. 3 hours in and they just started opening gifts. The house was in no one child proof. And this year it would be two against one. So instead of being at the party, I am playing on my iPad while the kids nap. Then we are baking cookies. Oh, added bonus, I am probably giving DS the gifts for Christmas. I literally only see my friend for our kids parties now.

Drea926

@holly321 I think you made a solid choice. Kids parties should be 2 hours max!

holly321

@holly321 I think you made a solid choice. Kids parties should be 2 hours max!

He napped for over an hour last time!

TarheelMama202

Confession: I have loved nursing my son and I'm glad I did it. But I am also starting to be ready for my body to just belong to me, if that makes sense. Pumping at work is getting old, too.

Also, I changed my user name because it was my full name. I originally signed up for TB without planning to be active on any boards, thus the full name.

kleigh926

I've been breastfeeding for over 9 months now, but I get really annoyed when I see people tout certain things about it. An example would be the wonderful bonding with your baby. I never felt any bonding with DD during BF'ing that I couldn't have gotten from FF'ing her. In fact, I think it hindered bonding with and feeling connected to her, since we were having issues. I just don't know why people care so much about whether or not people choose BM or formula.

DH's cousin had a baby in June. A few weeks ago, she posted a picture that said "I make milk. What's your superpower?" on Facebook. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Just gave me the impression that she thought she was better than any woman who wasn't lactating at that point in time. I was sooooo close to commenting something snippy, but decided it wasn't worth the drama it would most likely cause, so I just said, "Being a mom is a superpower in and of itself."

Drea926

kleigh926 said:

I've been breastfeeding for over 9 months now, but I get really annoyed when I see people tout certain things about it. An example would be the wonderful bonding with your baby. I never felt any bonding with DD during BF'ing that I couldn't have gotten from FF'ing her. In fact, I think it hindered bonding with and feeling connected to her, since we were having issues. I just don't know why people care so much about whether or not people choose BM or formula.

DH's cousin had a baby in June. A few weeks ago, she posted a picture that said "I make milk. What's your superpower?" on Facebook. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Just gave me the impression that she thought she was better than any woman who wasn't lactating at that point in time. I was sooooo close to commenting something snippy, but decided it wasn't worth the drama it would most likely cause, so I just said, "Being a mom is a superpower in and of itself."

Yes! I totally know what you mean. For my very brief stint as a BFing mom I had a couple, "this is nice" moments, but nothing life-altering. I felt way more of a connection holding him and having him fall asleep in my arms and on my chest and playing and singing with him.

DublinMama

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

Drea926

DC2London said:

It is so, so, so difficult to talk about breastfeeding without offending anyone.  Some women can't breastfeed, and that's fine.  Some women choose not to, and that's fine.  Many women have determined that it is the best, healthiest, etc option for their baby, so they feel passionately that every baby should have that same benefit.  I feel strongly about BFing MY babies, and I would love it if every baby could EBF for six months.  But if that's not realistic, or desirable, or a positive experience for the mother then it's not the right choice for that family, plain and simple.  But it is SO HARD to encourage women to try or to persevere with breastfeeding without stepping on the toes of women who don't BF.  It sucks.  I'm sure that your friend meant absolutely no harm when she posted that picture, kleigh, but your experience with BFing has led you to look at that picture through a different lens.  There are so many parenting topics that are so hard to tactfully discuss, for this very reason.

Maybe that's why our grandmothers' generation simply never discussed anything beyond the trivial or mundane ;-)

I understand that. It's definitely difficult to balance such topics.

FWIW DC, when I had my BFing struggles early on and then when I ultimately decided to quit, you were very supportive and kind. You probably don't remember that, but I do and it meant a lot to me. 

Drea926

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

I agree. And also Christmas and Easter have celebrations that are rooted in paganism - about as far from Christianity as you can get. :P

DH and I were both raised Catholic but neither of us follow that religion. DH has his own personal beliefs that resemble humanism and I have a more open, and I guess eastern view of things. 

tamarar5

My UO is also bfing. I kind of hate bfing now. I know it is still best for E and will keep going, but he is so miserable to nurse! He climbs my body with my nipper still in his mouth. He pinches. He hits. He bites and pulls hair. I am black and blue. Plus he wants to nurse constantly from 5am until noon, and will only go to sleep any time of day with a boob in his mouth. Now with the problems with my pump and having to throw out all my stock, needing a new pump... I'm just so over it all. I want my boobs back for a little bit before we get pregnant with baby3.

I'm also incredibly overwhelmed with the wedding stuff. With having to buy a new pump and not getting paid yet, as I expected and was told, for a book I've had published, I no longer have the money to have my hair done for the wedding, OR get the flowers. Guess it's a good thing I didn't special order any flowers.... OK that's just a vent.

I hate the unrealistic pressures that people put on weddings. Everything must be perfect, it's not acceptable to have a small intimate wedding with a large party later, and weddings have become "a business" so anything wedding related is automatically makes it ridiculously expensive. I hate feeling like I'm getting ripped off on my wedding day. I can go on.

penguingrrl

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

We are not raising our kids in the church either. My mother is spiritual but not religious and raised me in the church because everyone said it was the "right thing to do" and it left me with an incredibly warped view of religion. DH and I both believe there's a higher spirit but that all organized religions have it wrong so our kids were baptized due to family pressure but will not otherwise be taught religion. But I will continue celebrating Christmas and Easter because I love those and they're cultural for us, not religious.

wifeofadam

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

I am a Christian and I still see a socio-cultural piece to the holidays, so what you said doesn't bother me at all.  In fact, I would say most of what American Christians celebrate about Christmas and Easter is primarily socio-cultural and has very little to do with religion.  We do secular AND religious Christmas and I always define the two that way and make sure to let my kids know how they are separate.  The gifts and trees and all of that is purely socio-cultural and I think it is a lot of fun.  It has little to do with the religious celebration.  I have no problem with non-Christians wanting to participate in the secular parts of Christmas, because it's fun!

It's the same way I feel about Halloween, May Day, etc.  There is a socio-cultural/secular celebration and a religious celebration (for some).  We participate in the secular parts of it without having anything to do with the Pagan worship stuff (which is pretty controversial among our conservative Christian friends).  I mean, I love decorating for Valentine's Day and stuffing my face with chocolate, but I'm neither Catholic nor a Roman celebrating Lupercalia, so I don't feel like I'm worshipping anything.  It's purely secular and fun.  I hope that doesn't offend those religious groups!

jbatch

+adamwife+ said:

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

I am a Christian and I still see a socio-cultural piece to the holidays, so what you said doesn't bother me at all.  In fact, I would say most of what American Christians celebrate about Christmas and Easter is primarily socio-cultural and has very little to do with religion.  We do secular AND religious Christmas and I always define the two that way and make sure to let my kids know how they are separate.  The gifts and trees and all of that is purely socio-cultural and I think it is a lot of fun.  It has little to do with the religious celebration.  I have no problem with non-Christians wanting to participate in the secular parts of Christmas, because it's fun!

It's the same way I feel about Halloween, May Day, etc.  There is a socio-cultural/secular celebration and a religious celebration (for some).  We participate in the secular parts of it without having anything to do with the Pagan worship stuff (which is pretty controversial among our conservative Christian friends).  I mean, I love decorating for Valentine's Day and stuffing my face with chocolate, but I'm neither Catholic nor a Roman celebrating Lupercalia, so I don't feel like I'm worshipping anything.  It's purely secular and fun.  I hope that doesn't offend those religious groups!


I am right there with you!! I'm a Christian and celebrating Christmas and Easter is important to me in that way but there are a lot of parts of it that are cultural and I don't expect only Christians to celebrate Christmas.. I do a lot of the cultural things as well..

DublinMama

Well, yay, then! lol I wasn't looking to ruffle feathers...just thought it might, but wanted to keep with the "spirit" of the thread, I guess. My other, more fun one is that I have every intention tonight of putting my baby to bed, drinking more wine than I should, and having fun, sloppy, buzzed nookie with DH.

Drea926

@DublinMama - that's funny, I have the exact same plans! ;-)

wholenewworld

Confession: I wasn't paying attention yesterday and my kid got into the cat food and had already put a piece in his mouth. He gagged and choked and I felt awful, but if he weren't my kid I would think it was pretty funny.

Drea926

wholenewworld said:

Confession: I wasn't paying attention yesterday and my kid got into the cat food and had already put a piece in his mouth. He gagged and choked and I felt awful, but if he weren't my kid I would think it was pretty funny.

I'm glad you said that because I felt bad that my first instinct was to giggle. 

Drea926

Food confession:

I'm making a "faux" Thanksgiving meal for dinner tonight and I've taken every shortcut imaginable - turkey breast cutlets, canned cranberry sauce, instant mashed potatoes, and stovetop stuffing that I actually made in the microwave. I just want that Thanksgiving flavor!!

CamMyMan

@dublinmama @drea926 oh lord, i am so jealous of you. moreso about the wine than the nookie (sorry DH, lol!) My kid still wakes up one smillion trillion times a night to nurse and we often bed share so no wines for me.

My confession is hub and i almost never do it. like, ever. Not that DH doesn't try. I am NEVER in the mood and I'm pretty sure thats attributed in part to breastfeeding. Also, ds is so clingy and high-maintenance that I am just "touched out" a lot of the time. When he is sleeping, the thought of anyone else touching me almost makes my skin crawl. Mama just needs some space. Seeing all that typed out makes me realize how bad the situation is. Poor DH! 

bumpuser7698452

CamMyMan said:

@dublinmama @drea926 oh lord, i am so jealous of you. moreso about the wine than the nookie (sorry DH, lol!) My kid still wakes up one smillion trillion times a night to nurse and we often bed share so no wines for me.

My confession is hub and i almost never do it. like, ever. Not that DH doesn't try. I am NEVER in the mood and I'm pretty sure thats attributed in part to breastfeeding. Also, ds is so clingy and high-maintenance that I am just "touched out" a lot of the time. When he is sleeping, the thought of anyone else touching me almost makes my skin crawl. Mama just needs some space. Seeing all that typed out makes me realize how bad the situation is. Poor DH! 

+1. We've had so many discussions about this and how I need to step it up but nothing ever changes. I'm just not into it.

MalRiggs

Confession: my DH is out of town and I love the alone time. I figured by Tuesday when he comes home I'll miss him.

Rynleigh

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

Not alone  

https://www.facebook.com/notes/erynn-leigh/im-going-to-get-this-out-of-the-way-early-this-year/10150390515131086

DublinMama

Rynleigh said:

DublinMama said:

This one may ruffle some feathers...

My husband is a staunch Atheist. I am a recovering, life-long raised Catholic. I have horrid memories of my weepy, 8 year old self sitting in front of a 60 year old priest telling him all the ways I had let God down. We have no intention of raising our son under any religion. I'm happy to inform him of what's out there, and let him choose a path that feels right. Buuuuut, we still do all the Christian holidays full tilt. To me, there is a socio-cultural piece to them that, like it or not, has little to do with religion. 

Edited for typos.

Not alone  

https://www.facebook.com/notes/erynn-leigh/im-going-to-get-this-out-of-the-way-early-this-year/10150390515131086

Your post reminded of last year when Fox News tried to sell that there was a "War on Christmas."
) Silly Fox. News is for grown-ups.

TarheelMama202

@rynleigh I always love everything you post. That Facebook link was just the icing on the cake.

kleigh926

Here's one... I have a lot of very unpopular opinions that I will probably never share on here because they're extremely controversial and I don't feel like debating when it's unlikely that I will change anyone's mind (sorry for the run-on sentence!).

Drea926

@kleigh926 now I'm curious! Lol

Rosebean

Not trying to take anything out of context, but just keeping on the whole "not Christian, but celebrating the holidays" boat.... My confession is that I can not stand it when other faiths/ people in general insist that Merry Christmas should be Happy Holidays. Ummm, no! Absolutely not. My hubby is of Jewish background and mine is Catholic/Anglican. And while neither of us practice any particular faith, I still strongly believe it is unfair to insist that Christians should have to change their celebrated religious day and make it into a "happy holiday" deal just to make others happy. We call it Christmas, because that is what it is. Even if you aren't religious, but celebrate Christmas, it should be called so. Not some other non-denominational, let's keep all the children in the playground happy, name.

kleigh926

Haha sorry. But my views on many major issues- religious, political, and moral- are pretty complex and against the mainstream. It would be very hard for me to fully explain my opinions on a forum like this. I tried once way back when I first started posting on The Nest. I was a total newbie, hardly lurked at all before jumping in, and I got flamed like crazy. Not that I'm afraid of getting flamed for something, but I'm pretty sure all that happened was that everyone thought I was a naive idiot. It just doesn't really work here. But I always sort of consider posting something super controversial on a UO or Confessions thread, and then I stop myself

Drea926

I always thought "happy holidays" was said because not everyone celebrates Christmas and it's a politeness of sorts. I say it to people like the grocery cashier, etc.

DublinMama

Oh! Oh! I have another one. I hate this new trend with kids where everyone makes the team, everyone gets a medal or a prize. No. That's not how life works. They're not all going to get into Harvard. They're not all going to get the dream job. Why do we insist on creating a culture that exists nowhere else in the real world? I hope one day my kid doesn't make the team, so he learns how to cope with disappointment and learn what his true talents and abilities are.

Drea926

Haha @DublinMama! My dad would be so proud of you! He hates that lol.

LyssRob

Rosebean said:

Not trying to take anything out of context, but just keeping on the whole "not Christian, but celebrating the holidays" boat.... My confession is that I can not stand it when other faiths/ people in general insist that Merry Christmas should be Happy Holidays. Ummm, no! Absolutely not. My hubby is of Jewish background and mine is Catholic/Anglican. And while neither of us practice any particular faith, I still strongly believe it is unfair to insist that Christians should have to change their celebrated religious day and make it into a "happy holiday" deal just to make others happy. We call it Christmas, because that is what it is. Even if you aren't religious, but celebrate Christmas, it should be called so. Not some other non-denominational, let's keep all the children in the playground happy, name.

I was going to say this...but the opposite!

I get (un-necessarily) super-annoyed when people say Christmas instead of holidays.  I feel it is assuming that I celebrate Christmas...I don't, and there are other holidays going on.  If you KNOW someone celebrates Christmas, than say Christmas, if you don't, be PC.  

Drea926

This is fun! I'm glad this thread is getting so much action.

And speaking of action- I hate when people are uptight about sex. :P

octobermama87

I confess that I give DS a dose of infant Tylenol every night before bed to help him sleep ( he is teething of course) but I was never going to post it on here bc of all of the "I don't give my LO anything bc of such and such reason" mamas. And it almost makes me feel like I'm doing DS a disservice by trying to help him with his pain. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I dont know.

DublinMama

PeanutR1 said:

I confess that I give DS a dose of infant Tylenol every night before bed to help him sleep ( he is teething of course) but I was never going to post it on here bc of all of the "I don't give my LO anything bc of such and such reason" mamas. And it almost makes me feel like I'm doing DS a disservice by trying to help him with his pain. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I dont know.

Don't beat yourself up. For the last week, Dd has gotten ibuprofen every night or she screams for far too long. All my IRL mommy friends do the same during heavy teething, and they range from crunchy to...well...me (the opposite of crunchy)

lol @PeanutR1 You're great.
:-j

musicalmama5

PeanutR1 said:

I confess that I give DS a dose of infant Tylenol every night before bed to help him sleep ( he is teething of course) but I was never going to post it on here bc of all of the "I don't give my LO anything bc of such and such reason" mamas. And it almost makes me feel like I'm doing DS a disservice by trying to help him with his pain. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I dont know.

Don't beat yourself up. For the last week, Dd has gotten ibuprofen every night or she screams for far too long. All my IRL mommy friends do the same during heavy teething, and they range from crunchy to...well...me (the opposite of crunchy)

I'm pretty crunchy and I definitely give DS ibuprofen on the nights he's having a hard time with teething pain. 

tamarar5

DublinMama said:

PeanutR1 said:

may10587@hotmail.com said:

I confess that I give DS a dose of infant Tylenol every night before bed to help him sleep ( he is teething of course) but I was never going to post it on here bc of all of the "I don't give my LO anything bc of such and such reason" mamas. And it almost makes me feel like I'm doing DS a disservice by trying to help him with his pain. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I dont know.

Don't beat yourself up. For the last week, Dd has gotten ibuprofen every night or she screams for far too long. All my IRL mommy friends do the same during heavy teething, and they range from crunchy to...well...me (the opposite of crunchy)

lol @PeanutR1 You're great.
:-j

I'm about five seconds away from waking Dd up, stuffing the kids in the car, and going to Walgreen's to pick up infant Tylenol and dosing my kid- because I'm an idiot and don't have any on hand and he won't shut the f*** up and go to sleep.

octobermama87

TamaraR4 said:

PeanutR1 said:

I confess that I give DS a dose of infant Tylenol every night before bed to help him sleep ( he is teething of course) but I was never going to post it on here bc of all of the "I don't give my LO anything bc of such and such reason" mamas. And it almost makes me feel like I'm doing DS a disservice by trying to help him with his pain. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I dont know.

Don't beat yourself up. For the last week, Dd has gotten ibuprofen every night or she screams for far too long. All my IRL mommy friends do the same during heavy teething, and they range from crunchy to...well...me (the opposite of crunchy)

lol @PeanutR1 You're great.
:-j

I'm about five seconds away from waking Dd up, stuffing the kids in the car, and going to Walgreen's to pick up infant Tylenol and dosing my kid- because I'm an idiot and don't have any on hand and he won't shut the f*** up and go to sleep.

Y'all make me feel better. Thanks. :-)

musicalmama5

But that's not my confession! 

My confession is that I absolutely love BFing and have a really hard time understanding why women choose never to even try. 

And the bonding thing that was talked about earlier in this thread... I definitely felt a bond in the early days through BFing, but now that he's more interactive and we play games/sing/talk/fall asleep together while nursing, it's even more of a connection. And I can't see those things happening over a bottle in the same way that they do while nursing. 

penguingrrl

It's fine to wish someone a Merry Christmas if you're sure they celebrate it. It's presumptuous to wish it if you don't know. Happy Holidays is a term that embraces all celebrations. It's not about hurt feelings on the playground but rather an assumption that everyone celebrates what you do, which isn't true.