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NBSR: double/joint bridal shower

ajbookajbook member
in Baby Showers
Frequent board lurker who appreciates your honesty. My older sister and I are planning bridal showers for our younger sister and soon to be SIL. They are getting married a month apart. The invite lists are almost exactly the same, the only exception would be SILs mom and two sisters. Otherwise we are inviting only family on our side of the family. Should we have a joint shower or two seperate ones?
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Re: NBSR: double/joint bridal shower

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    RebeccaY1RebeccaY1 member
    Separate!  Everyone should have a day where they feel special and have their own shower.  
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    EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    I'm in the seperate camp.  Largely due to what somerandom said - for one, those few "exceptions" will feel they need to bring a gift for the other bride, even if they don't really know her/will be invited to her wedding.  And if a guest wants to splurge on a gift for one bride but not the other - it may make them feel weird.

    However, I WILL say on that note- I doubt most guests are going to be paying that kind of attention to who gave what to which bride.  Even the brides probably won't be opening the same person's gift at the same tiem.

    BUT - the guest themselves may feel odd/ feel they have to be "fair". 

    Plus- I also agree that they should each both get their own shower.

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    ~Benjamin Franklin

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    NicolewinsbingoNicolewinsbingo member
    I wonder if people will be less generous if asked to buy two gifts in one day? I just think it could generally decrease the specialness for each bride to be.
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    nah82nah82 member
    Also on the logistical side, consider how long the present opening would take, that is long enough with just one guest of honor!
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    ajbookajbook member
    Thanks! The brides requested we have it together. As hostesses we were torn as to what to do.
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    Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    Do they really want it together ?  I mean, could it be one wants it and the other is to shy to speak up and say no ?
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    ajbookajbook member
    They each mentioned the idea to my older sister and myself separately. Our younger sister is traveling from California to Indiana.
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    neverblushedneverblushed member
    edited November 2013
    I would say separate.  Unless the brides come to the hostesses to specifically request a joint shower. 

    Reasons:

    --each deserves her own day
    --even if the guest list is 80% the same, the remaining 20% will seem awkward
    --the gift opening will be CRAZY long if two brides have to open all their gifts
    --the potential for drama is too high at a shared shower

    ETA -- even with their request, I would be very cautious about a joint shower.  What if you do one Saturday and one Sunday of the same weekend, to make it easier for oot guests?
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    rh10264706rh10264706 member
    If the brides requested it and one is traveling a long way I think it's fine. As a guest I would appreciate not having to go to two showers.
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    linzerdlinzerd member
    I would start by asking them if they are into that. I wouldn't be...
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