NBSR: double/joint bridal shower

ajbook · November 2013

Frequent board lurker who appreciates your honesty. My older sister and I are planning bridal showers for our younger sister and soon to be SIL. They are getting married a month apart. The invite lists are almost exactly the same, the only exception would be SILs mom and two sisters. Otherwise we are inviting only family on our side of the family. Should we have a joint shower or two seperate ones?

Tigerlilym15 · November 2013

Separate! Each bride deserves her own day and her own shower. Plus it is a lot to ask for guests to bring two gifts to one shower.

RebeccaY1 · November 2013

Separate! Everyone should have a day where they feel special and have their own shower.

EastCoastBride · November 2013

I'm in the seperate camp. Largely due to what somerandom said - for one, those few "exceptions" will feel they need to bring a gift for the other bride, even if they don't really know her/will be invited to her wedding. And if a guest wants to splurge on a gift for one bride but not the other - it may make them feel weird.

However, I WILL say on that note- I doubt most guests are going to be paying that kind of attention to who gave what to which bride. Even the brides probably won't be opening the same person's gift at the same tiem.

BUT - the guest themselves may feel odd/ feel they have to be "fair".

Plus- I also agree that they should each both get their own shower.

Nicolewinsbingo · November 2013

I wonder if people will be less generous if asked to buy two gifts in one day? I just think it could generally decrease the specialness for each bride to be.

nah82 · November 2013

Also on the logistical side, consider how long the present opening would take, that is long enough with just one guest of honor!

ajbook · November 2013

Thanks! The brides requested we have it together. As hostesses we were torn as to what to do.

Disneygeek77 · November 2013

Do they really want it together ? I mean, could it be one wants it and the other is to shy to speak up and say no ?

ajbook · November 2013

They each mentioned the idea to my older sister and myself separately. Our younger sister is traveling from California to Indiana.

neverblushed · November 2013

I would say separate. Unless the brides come to the hostesses to specifically request a joint shower.

Reasons:

--each deserves her own day

--even if the guest list is 80% the same, the remaining 20% will seem awkward

--the gift opening will be CRAZY long if two brides have to open all their gifts

--the potential for drama is too high at a shared shower

ETA -- even with their request, I would be very cautious about a joint shower. What if you do one Saturday and one Sunday of the same weekend, to make it easier for oot guests?

rh10264706 · November 2013

If the brides requested it and one is traveling a long way I think it's fine. As a guest I would appreciate not having to go to two showers.

linzerd · November 2013

I would start by asking them if they are into that. I wouldn't be...

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