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okay seriously....

cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
in 1st Trimester
The amount of drama on these forums is ridiculous. This is supposed to be a place where we can go for advice and support from other women who can or try to relate. So many of you are SO quick to judge and be rude to someone who's just looking for advice. You don't know their whole story, you don't know all the circumstances. Either answer their question or give your advice about their question and move on. No reason to be rude and catty. Agree to disagree and get over it!! If you're not here to be helpful then get out and go start your problems on Facebook like everyone else.
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Re: okay seriously....

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  • 24karat24karat member
    cMichelle0423 said:

    The amount of drama on these forums is ridiculous. This is supposed to be a place where we can go for advice and support from other women who can or try to relate. So many of you are SO quick to judge and be rude to someone who's just looking for advice. You don't know their whole story, you don't know all the circumstances. Either answer their question or give your advice about their question and move on. No reason to be rude and catty. Agree to disagree and get over it!! If you're not here to be helpful then get out and go start your problems on Facebook like everyone else.

    Is this about your other post asking for advice? You got decent advice and answers. You're right...we don't know all the circumstances. We give advice based on info YOU provide. And like I said over there, you can't control how people interpret what you post online. If you don't like that risk, don't post.
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    Lol this is NOT about my discussion. Although I was displeased with everyone's focus on the Facebook part of everything, no one got rude or catty... I've just been a part of other discussions where women are disrespecting each other left and right over a disagreements.
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  • GoldaparisiGoldaparisi member
    Be prepared for some not so friendly and non-supportive responses... 8->

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  • jenandtim828jenandtim828 member
    edited November 2013
    From my experience people respond to drama from original posts, or to people who spew out ridiculous things without lurking and learning first. It can get old hearing stupidity time and time again. I'm not saying this was you OP. I remember your thread. I do agree that it can get out of hand. I guess the best thing to do is ignore it if it bothers you and realize we are all just internet strangers coming from different walks of life with very different viewpoints and experiences. 

    I'd say the positivity on these boards outweighs the snark if you're sensible

    Edit: forgot a word
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    What did I say to provoke anyone?
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  • GoldaparisiGoldaparisi member
    These threads never end well lol...

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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    FemShep said:

    Guess what? You can't control what people post on the Internet. Don't want people reading in to your FB posts? Don't make them. Don't want people commenting on insurance or your finances? Don't mention them in the first place. You get to control what you post and what you share; you don't get to control how people react to the information. Once you realize this basic fact, your forum experience will be much better.

    Again, this has nothing to do with anything I started a discussion about. I saw two dissucssions started by two other women in which several other women were calling them names or being rude about their posts. I'm mearly trying to make a point that most women come here for advice and while a majority of their responders do give out good advice, there's other women who take things and turn their posts into something to be dramatic about. That's all!!
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  • BlueRidge8BlueRidge8 member
    lolz
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    Goldaparisi said:

    These threads never end well lol...



    That's fine with me! Lol at least now the drama starters have a discussion to complain about and not bother some women who's freaking out about a pregnancy issue that she's genuinely asking advice about.

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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    jenandtim828 said:

    OP I now think you are a trouble maker. You are sort of manipulative, starting a post, waiting for responses and then calling us all out on being drama queens? Goodbye!

    I would LOVE to know how I'm being manipulative.
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  • mbRN83mbRN83 member


    cMichelle0423 said:
    Lol this is NOT about my discussion. Although I was displeased with everyone's focus on the Facebook part of everything, no one got rude or catty... I've just been a part of other discussions where women are disrespecting each other left and right over a disagreements.
    Just because you didn't like the focus of your last discussion, does not mean you received bad advice. 
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  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    cMichelle0423 said:

    Lol and once all the drama queens come to do their work, its only going to prove my point. I said nothing to provoke anyone. Nor did I say anything rude or offensive. And yet all the women who are only here for drama are going to start an agreement based on nothing!

    "I said nothing to provoke them"
    What world do you live in?

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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    The only people I'm calling drama queens are those who steer away from someone's original post and starting an argument with someone who's genuinely concerned about something that's going on in their pregnancy. I did not say that EVERYONE is like this. I'm simply saying that its sad how some women start a fight with another woman who's only here to get advice. If you feel like I'm provoking you then you probablyaare one of those people. All of this started because I saw a discussion where someone was freaking about an issue she was having and it somehow managed to turn into an agreement between her and two other women all becaus they didn't agree with each other. These forums are meant to help each other out. Not stress each other out.
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    mbRN83 said:




    cMichelle0423 said:

    Lol this is NOT about my discussion. Although I was displeased with everyone's focus on the Facebook part of everything, no one got rude or catty... I've just been a part of other discussions where women are disrespecting each other left and right over a disagreements.

    Just because you didn't like the focus of your last discussion, does not mean you received bad advice. 
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    Okay for like the 3rd time, this has NOTHING to do with ANY of my posts. I did get good advice. So get over that. I've already explained myself and the reason for my post. If you dnt like what I've had to say then gtfo. No one forced you into this convo.
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    Force myself into a convo? Honey, it's the internet. You obviously wanted some sort of response if you posted a discussion. Look around. The only one acting like a drama queen is you. 

    All im doing is defending myself for what I posted. I'm done talking to y'all. You clearly can't see another perspective other than your own. I apologize if I offended any of y'all as that was not my intention. However I will point out that y'all just helped prove my point. You'd rather bash me because u don't agree with me, instead of just agreeing to disagree. This was interesting. Y'all have a great day and good luck to u all with your pregnancies and or little ones.
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  • kara222kara222 member
    Adrd47 said:
    The amount of drama on these forums is ridiculous. This is supposed to be a place where we can go for advice and support from other women who can or try to relate. So many of you are SO quick to judge and be rude to someone who's just looking for advice. You don't know their whole story, you don't know all the circumstances. Either answer their question or give your advice about their question and move on. No reason to be rude and catty. Agree to disagree and get over it!! If you're not here to be helpful then get out and go start your problems on Facebook like everyone else.
    You're the first person to ever say this =D>
    She needed to say it.  I'm glad someone stood up for others! 
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  • Luna CLuna C member
    JKBMA2014 said:
     And this post is going to cause some of its own drama

    Probably the point, no?
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  • kiyamurphkiyamurph member
    Even though I agree that there can be quite a bit of unnecessary snark on the boards, I knew that this discussion would not end well...
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  • GoldaparisiGoldaparisi member
    kiyamurph said:

    Even though I agree that there can be quite a bit of unnecessary snark on the boards, I knew that this discussion would not end well...

    It never does...lol...

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  • wtfisupwtfisup member
    It's frustrating when someone's opinion is discounted because they're new, no matter if it's on an internet forum, a workplace, etc. I've seen that happen a lot. That's pretty territorial and not very egalitarian or welcoming. 

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  • KaylanRichardKaylanRichard member

    Sometimes you just have to read it and MOVE ON! Everyone has their opinions. Sometimes we would like people to being kind and sympathetic with us, then sometimes we want their honest opinion. You have to remember this is the internet; everyone reads and interprets everything different. This is not picking up the phone and calling a friend.

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  • wtfisupwtfisup member
    mullenem said:
    wtfisup said:
    I feel like 90% of the board is fine with 10% aggressors. I admit that this space causes stress more than provides resources at times. 

    That said, calling people "rude" and so forth doesn't really help the matter so much as instigate it. 

    Undoubtedly someone will say "leave if you don't like it," which I may do. But ideally, as a group of women about to raise children (or already doing so), it would be nice of there a means to include everyone. From my experience, that is usually contingent on successful moderation. 

    Ultimately, saying "like it or get out" is a way of saying, "This is my space more than yours; what I like/want/need is more important than what someone else likes/wants/needs." Any space has to either respect all participants, or ultimately become more of a niche forum with a select group in control. 
    It wouldn't be like this if the majority of the people here weren't happy with how this board runs. 

    Also, you don't just go to a message board and start posting willy-nilly.  You lurk, feel out the vibe of the board, and see if it's for you.  That's why there are LOTS of message board options, not just TB.  Not everybody here has to get along or agree all the time and the regular posters understand this (hence the entertaining threads like UO and FFFC).

    This is not what we're here for
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    What other forums would you recommend? 

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  • wtfisupwtfisup member
    mullenem said:

    wtfisup said:
    mullenem said:
    wtfisup said:
    What other forums would you recommend? 
    I don't go on any others because I like it here but..
    Let Me Google That For You
    Well, that's why I asked. I've Googled; it brought me here. I thought if you were referring to others, you might have suggestions. That's all. 

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  • spacepotatoesspacepotatoes member
    edited November 2013
    argonne said:
    I kind of look at 1st tri on the bump as physics is for engineering majors. It's the weed out class. At first posters think , "yay this will be great and awesome". Then, they get their first exam back (first negative post or flame) and it ain't so awesome anymore. There are two options: 1 work harder and adapt (get over it and learn how the bump operates) 2 drop out and go to an easier major (GBCB and go to babycenter) In the end, by graduation (third tri), you have a group of people who understand being an engineer (on the bump).
    @argonne I am a physics teacher and I love you for this analogy.

    It's exactly like @mullenem said. Spend time looking around and getting a feel for the place before diving in and expecting everyone to conform to what you want this forum to be. It is what it is. These posts never change anything. If the tone of The Bump is not what you are looking for, instead of going on a one woman crusade to change it, maybe find a forum that is a better fit for you.

    Also, if you are not into drama, maybe don't start a separate thread to call out drama because guess what you end up creating?
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  • argonneargonne member
    spacepotatoes said:


    argonne said:

    I kind of look at 1st tri on the bump as physics is for engineering majors. It's the weed out class. At first posters think , "yay this will be great and awesome". Then, they get their first exam back (first negative post or flame) and it ain't so awesome anymore.

    There are two options:
    1 work harder and adapt (get over it and learn how the bump operates)
    2 drop out and go to an easier major (GBCB and go to babycenter)

    In the end, by graduation (third tri), you have a group of people who understand being an engineer (on the bump).

    @argonne I am a physics teacher and I love you for this analogy.

    It's exactly like @mullenem said. Spend time looking around and getting a feel for the place before diving in and expecting everyone to conform to what you want this forum to be. It is what it is. These posts never change anything. If the tone of The Bump is not what you are looking for, instead of going on a one woman crusade to change it, maybe find a forum that is a better fit for you.

    Also, if you are not into drama, maybe don't start a separate thread to call out drama because guess what you end up creating?


    I feel like analogies can lead to monumental breakthroughs in understanding. Just trying to do my part for the OP.

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  • Meery82Meery82 member
    LOL, I knew what this post was going to be before I even opened it. OP, we see this same post about once a month or so. Nothing is going to change. So please save your breath (or fingers).
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  • argonneargonne member
    GhostMonkey said:


    argonne said:

    I kind of look at 1st tri on the bump as physics is for engineering majors. It's the weed out class. At first posters think , "yay this will be great and awesome". Then, they get their first exam back (first negative post or flame) and it ain't so awesome anymore.

    There are two options:
    1 work harder and adapt (get over it and learn how the bump operates)
    2 drop out and go to an easier major (GBCB and go to babycenter)

    In the end, by graduation (third tri), you have a group of people who understand being an engineer (on the bump).

    And of course there are those that somehow skate by and still end up staying even when they hate it.



    True. Same with engineering.

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  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    It's a forum full of wom
    Luna C said:
    JKBMA2014 said:
     And this post is going to cause some of its own drama

    Probably the point, no?

    her point-complaining about drama and then starting her own. I don't see it.

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