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Things your MIL says but should never say...

nessabeersnessabeers member
in April 2014 Moms
"Welp...looks like you need some fat clothes... you're getting big fast!" (Mind you I am carrying twins, have only gained 3 lbs and was wearing a maternity shirt)

"Why would you EVER register for formula? You will be breast feeding right?" My response, "Well...I am going to try but dr. said I would probably need to supplement and have back up just in case I don't produce enough."
Her: "You'll produce enough your body will know, I would not use
Formula" (ha... and she knows this how?)

So I know I can't be the only one who has a MIL who says something inappropriate to you during your current or Previous pregnancy. So please share!
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Re: Things your MIL says but should never say...

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  • bingbongsmamabingbongsmama member
    Oh so many things. Like pp, my mil likes to tell horrifying stories or scare me about every possible bad thing that could happen to DD.

    I just can't stand her personality. I don't think it's a mil thing or that she's old, it's just her.
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  • LindseymarvilynneLindseymarvilynne member
    edited October 2013
    The joys of In laws eh? My MIL likes to tell me everything she did while raising her boys! Almost like she's the best mom in the world and I have to do the same! Ugh. And she's also bought more baby stuff than I have!
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  • cfthoct292011cfthoct292011 member
    Well my MIL is pure evil so she has a million things she says that she shouldn't. With my last pregnancy when she found out I was pg she tried to convince DH in a nice way that he should make me have an abortion. Then when I lost the baby she had the nerve to cry about it like she was having a nervous breakdown, I had no sympathy for her. She always tells me how fat I am; she over exaggerates how big my belly is getting and tells me to slow down on eating. I better not name my baby something she can't pronounce. Since this will be her 7th grandchild I better not have another any time soon because she can't afford it. My husband apparently has to cut his hair because he's gonna be a father now and dads don't have long hair. She gave my niece wine when she was a baby; gives my other nieces and nephews beer. She was extremely abusive to DH and his brothers and is very controlling. I already told DH she is NEVER allowed to be alone with
    my child. If she isnt number one in your life youre a bad person wives are number 2. She even told DH he never came out of her. She's just an awful person and its sad but I wish DH never started talking to her again; I miss the days when he'd say my children don't need to know she exists.
    My Alice in Wonderland Baby Shower 3/30/2014
    Instagram photo by sassijae - Baby shower time... #laylascoming #sisterinlaw #aliceinwonderland #teaparty #cantwaittilltiffgetshere

              October 30, 2011
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  • zoopsiedaisyzoopsiedaisy member
    I think MILs are some of the worst offenders. We have actually made an effort to get pregnant less than 10 times in three years. We have basically been saying that we were just going to let things happen on its own time. No stress, no rush. Of those less than 10 times, we have gotten pregnant twice and mc'd both times. We waited until 12 weeks this time to say anything to anyone, including our parents.

    My MIL immediately said, "I
    was getting worried! I never thought this would happen for you." I know she assumed we have been going at it like crazy trying and failing but wow. Keep your mouth shut!!
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  • Beckypooh09Beckypooh09 member
    After we announced this pregnancy my MIL told me that we should have told her we were trying so she could tell us how to have a girl. Yea my MIL is the last person on the earth I'd ever discuss the topic of TTC with. I'm so glad the ILs live almost 2 hours away!
    image
    Logan - 11/09, Lander 08/11, Baby #3 ~It's a girl!!~ EDD: 04/10/14

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  • JessimaxJessimax member
    AcaAwkward said:

    When we told her I was pregnant with DD she said "good thing, you're no spring chicken." I was 29 when DD was born...MIL was 28 when DH was born (and 36 when his youngest sibling was born)...???

    She also probably told me 12x about her best friend who had a still birth at 39 weeks. Terrifying and unnecessary for anyone but especially horrible considering we had some serious in utero complications.

    The woman has no filter.


    I got this from my father, we waited awhile between DS and this baby and he told me if we wanted more kids to do it soon. I am 26.
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  • mammasuzelovmammasuzelov member
    My mil has no filter, she says things like " maybe if you lost weight you could look pretty and wear pretty dresses" " well you know dear you have put on the pounds" uh yah thanks bitch! Actually I've only out on 4 pounds.

    As far as this pregnancy I won't see her until Christmas so that should be interesting. I am worried also that she will over step her boundaries, my dh is her only son but she has three daughters and 8 grand kids between them. She has been there for all the births and stayed with the daughters for a month after.

    She will not be in the delivery room, and she will not be staying for a month after the baby comes. She can visit for a couple days maybe.
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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    Luckily mine doesn't say much. However, SIL says rude things from time to time. "Wow you sure you're not having twins with that big belly of yours!"
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  • myschlovemyschlove member
    edited October 2013
    When DS was born I think the most frustrating thing was that she kept telling me it's okay not to breast-feed… I had a really really hard time it was very painful but I wanted to do it so bad and I trudged through it and I needed support. She was trying to be encouraging but that's not what I needed to hear at the time… Thankfully my mom was really encouraging and help me get through it.

    She also was bad about telling me every old wise tell she knew… And they were things I HAD to do ( but didn't.... Those I just ignored or said "I have never heard of that, that's interesting") :)

    But, my MIL has come along way :-) she was pretty opinionated in the beginning and I tried to be kind and patient and I don't know what changed but about six months ago she sat down with my husband and I and apologized and told us that we were doing a great job and she was not going to say anything negative about our parenting or whatever anymore! (I may have cried) :)

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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    myschlove said:

    When DS was born I think the most frustrating thing was that she kept telling me it's okay not to breast-feed… I had a really really hard time it was very painful but I wanted to do it so bad and I trudged through it and I needed support. She was trying to be encouraging but that's not what I needed to hear at the time… Thankfully my mom was really encouraging and help me get through it.

    She also was bad about telling me every old wise tell she knew… And they were things I HAD to do ( but didn't.... Those I just ignored or said "I have never heard of that, that's interesting") :)

    But, my MIL has come along way :-) she was pretty opinionated in the beginning and I tried to be kind and patient and I don't know what changed but about six months ago she sat down with my husband and I and apologized and told us that we were doing a great job and she was not going to say anything negative about our parenting or whatever anymore! (I may have cried) :)

    Wow that's awesome she admitted and appologized!
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  • TallaBTallaB member
    i don't plan on seeing my MIL at all during my pregnancy. After she chewed me out for 2 hours because I didn't finish all my dinner (yes, I am 5 years old), told me I should eat until I barf when someone invites me over, said my parents should be ashamed of me and that i'm probably adopted...and called me a c*nt - I pretty much told her we were done and I wouldn't be seeing her again! So, at least she won't get a chance to advise me on the pregnancy!


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  • kali55kali55 member
    MIL to DH: "You don't mean anything to me, you are just the gatekeeper to my Grandchildren"




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  • lilmama412lilmama412 member
    edited October 2013
    I am in complete shock that people actually say these things to one another. I have never been so grateful that mine and DH's family know how to keep their mouths shut, and have common decency!!


    ETA: Actually they did tell my SIL that she should have gotten "fixed" at her last C-Section when it was offered to her. SIL cried and is super hurt about it, but her husband is a piece of shit who constantly cheats on her, spends all of their money on hunting equipment. They already have 3 kids they can't afford and are always "borrowing" money, and by borrowing I mean never paying back. This will be their 4th. Her husband could care less about the kids and she keeps tricking him into getting pregnant, so I guess that needed to be said.
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  • kwolslagerkwolslager member
    Luckily my MIL and I have a wonderful relationship. Although a few days ago she did say to me, "with my daughter I weighed 2 pounds less going into labor than I did pre-pregnancy. So you can still loose weight you know."
    I was shocked because she never says rude things to me.
    But my ex MIL was the devil. I was 26 weeks with DD1 when she invited me to a dinner from hell.
    I poured myself a drink and it tasted fine at the dinner table before going to the bathroom, when I came back I went to take a sip only to get a big sniff of alcohol!
    She also started poking my sides to "check for fat". Her words not mine. Then to top the evening off she nudged me while trying to go down the stairs to leave. And when I freaked out on her she played it like an accident... Yeah, you taking your hand and pushing my back was an accident. Righhhttt...
    And ironically, later that month she fell down the stairs and broke her neck. I didn't feel sorry for her one bit!

    image  mean_girls_35345

    DD1- 2009, M/C- 2011, M/C- 2012, DD2- 2012, DD3- 2014

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  • lcr23lcr23 member
    edited October 2013
    This happened right before we got married, so not pregnancy related. At the bridal shower for DH's side she told me she wanted me to relax and have fun and that this shower wouldn't be "uptight" like my other one. Uhhhh WTF?!? Reason #86747800 why I steer clear especially now.

    Edit spelling. Darn autocorrect.
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  • rlmanningrlmanning member

    WOW my MIL does over step her bounds from time to time but in general she is VERY helpfull with DD and I appreciate all she does for us in terms of watching DD while DH and I work and she is always willing/wanting to babysit when DH and I have plans to go somewhere.

    But some doozies she told me with my first pregnancy were:

    "you need to put that book down already (What to expect) your not going through everything it says in there"

    "You can try to breast feed but I was not able too so you might not either (while she rolled her eyes at me for telling her I really wanted to try)"

    She has toned down a bit with this pregnancy although she really doesnt seem to interested in this pregnancy which makes me sad. But one thing she said to me the other day

    "You guys have way to many Dr. appointments and tests and U/S's, I only had a Dr. appointment every 2 months and only 1 US at 36 weeks". I quickly responded "Well medicine has evolved quite a bit in the last 35 years. You would be amazed at the things they can do and find now". That shut her up pretty quickly.

    Our World!!

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    Blaine Emerson                  Bailey Rae

    3-31-14                               6-10-11

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  • bingbongsmamabingbongsmama member
    hvmom2b said:

    Yikes! My MIL asked DH today if I was getting fat yet. No, how is she feeling, is she showing. I don't understand how a woman who's had 3 kids can be so insensitive?!?!

    Is this typical of something she would say? Is she obsessed with weight and does she talk about your weigh when you're not pregnant?
    My MIL does the same crap, I'm trying to understand why they do this

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  • MrsG325MrsG325 member
    "You're already showing? (I'm 16weeks) hmm what's the dr say, maybe you need to stop eating junk" (I always eat healty) "you go to the gym?! You know when your pregnant you need to change things. I don't know if you know that" "you should pay more attention to your DH, I don't know why you're so tired" .........
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  • kali55kali55 member
    Serenla said:
    MIL to DH: "You don't mean anything to me, you are just the gatekeeper to my Grandchildren"


    Jaw meet floor.
    Pretty remarkable eh?  And it's not even the most hurtful or harmful thing she has said/done to DH.  We don't speak to her and I don't intend to have her in my children's lives.


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  • redwidowredwidow member
    My MIL is so self absorbed she doesn't ask questions or even talk to me that much unless she randomly stops by unannounced to see my husband.  She is a functioning alcoholic so I am predicting multiple hissy fits when we tell her she can't be with our kid alone to babysit or take places. My brother in-law lets her take his kids out because he says he can "tell when she has been drinking."  Why take the chance, right.
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  • JessSSuttonJessSSutton member
    Oh my you all have some crazy MILs!!! My MIL is actually pretty great. She can over step her bounds a tad but since DH and I got together in high school, I feel like she's really a second mom. The main problem I have with her is that she tends to be obsessed with one if my SIL and her kids. When the holidays roll around I am always trying to get a schedule from her so that my family can plan around their get together abd her typical response is "whenever Jane and the kids can make it..." My other sister in law has kids too? So weird. She also has this idea that the entire family is going to go to the beach together every year. We went almost every year for about 5 years and it was almost always a disaster. Just too many people and different opinions/interests etc. finally one year was terrible and I vowed that I would never be going again and DH and I haven't but she still brings it up all the time! Ps I hate the beech always have I just can't stand doing nothing and feeling hot
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  • megan8127megan8127 member
    My MIL is wonderful for the most part but they do show up unannounced even though they live 45 minutes away and she says some crazy things...I haven't decided if she is saying them intentionally to hurt me or if she is just socially awkward.  

    After DS was born I was telling her how proud I am to be his mom and what an awesome experience it is to have my own child (rather than nieces and nephews) and how it is amazing to be the one he goes to for comfort.  She said, Yea, it is crazy.  No matter how mean or horrible you are to your children, they will always love you as their mother. 

    Ummm, what the F lady?  

    My FIL is actually worse than my MIL though.  The day we brought DS home from the hospital they showed up unannounced and then FIL proceeded to tell me he was happy I took off the socks with the grips on them (I wore them in the hospital) because they were really unattractive.
    Oh, sorry!  I din't know I was in the hospital trying to impress you.    
    DS#1 Jack was born 3/29/12
    BFP #2 8/10/13, EDD 4/19/14 Team Green! 

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  • BabyBsMommyBabyBsMommy member
    My MIL is pretty great and never says anything terrible to me. She is very supportive of our family and is so helpful with DS. The one thing that made me mad though was when DS was a baby. He was 4 months and I was going back to work. I had to be out of town for training for a night and was having a terrible time with it in the first place. I didn't want to go and DH was very nervous about taking care of DS by himself. MIL told him that DS was too young to be away from his mother that long and she didn't think DH could handle it. DH lost all his confidence and told me he couldn't do it. I ended up not going, partly because of what happened but mostly because I wasn't ready! It still bothered me about what she said...
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  • girnysegirnyse member
    I'm currently out of work, due to a move for my DH's job shortly after BFP.  I will probably wait until after the birth to return to work.  My MIL constantly tries to make us feel guilty about me going back to work at all.  That's fine for some people, I'm not judging, but I have a doctorate and have always planned to be a working mom.  That's just what is best for me.  I hate it when she shames us into making us think we will be bad parents for sending our child to daycare!  To make matters worse, she worked full time since her and my FIL divorced when my DH was 3.
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