Things your MIL says but should never say...

AnnMarieP626

When we told her I was pregnant her immediate response was to yell at the top of her lungs: "Annie's gonna be fat!!!!!!"

Blah... :-q

emh81

I didn't know it was possible but some of you actually made me appreciate my MIL, at least she's never tried to push me down a flight of stairs! (Yet) that said the woman drives me insane! No filter and no sense of socially acceptable things to say. She asked if this baby was planned, we've been married for 3 years so yes, it was, but I've never understood that question! It doesn't make you any less pregnant if you didn't plan to be. Also she was 3 months pg when she an my FIL married, it took a lot of willpower not to blurt out, was BIL planned!? She's made multiple comments that she hopes we don't have a "retarded kid" because what would people think, to which my response is always, "MIL I have a cousin with Down syndrome, the word "retard" is NOT accepted vernacular and I would really appreciate if you would refrain from using it. It is offensive. Furthermore, I would welcome a Down syndrome child with open arms and love them just the same as any other child. It's up to God not me" she follows with "we'll whatever I hope you don't have one" she likes to make comments that I should quit working out and I should have a long time ago, I'm married after all, why on earth would I waste my time working out (mind you she's over 150pounds overweight and gets winded walking from her kitchen to her chair). And my personal favorite "you know pregnancy is not an excuse not to take care of your husband, you'll always be tired but you still need to cook and clean and take care I his needs, a man should never have to make his own dinner" DH has gained 12lbs since we found out we are expecting, I've gained 3... He's doing alright!

jennypenny1014

TallaB said:

i don't plan on seeing my MIL at all during my pregnancy. After she chewed me out for 2 hours because I didn't finish all my dinner (yes, I am 5 years old), told me I should eat until I barf when someone invites me over, said my parents should be ashamed of me and that i'm probably adopted...and called me a c*nt - I pretty much told her we were done and I wouldn't be seeing her again! So, at least she won't get a chance to advise me on the pregnancy!

WTAF?! Was she HIGH?! Holy hell she sounds like the devil. I'd have done the same as you, but likely with more colorful language. I'm sorry you had to endure that.

reginahcampbell

When DH told his mom I was pregnant she told him he wasn't ready and this was a huge mistake. Even worse, my FIL told him he didn't have to stay with me. Now weeks later they're finally "excited" and haven't said anything horrible after the first 2 weeks of apparent shock and lack of filter. I'm still pissed off about it.

My entire family, thrilled. 

jennypenny1014

"You can try to breast feed but I was not able too so you might not either;(while she rolled her eyes at me for telling her I really wanted to try)"

Yea, cause her genetics totally have ANYTHING to do with yours. 8-}

Kiahsimpson

It's not really what my ILs say, it's what they do. Like, hubby's grandma has basically raised him and his 5 other siblings, so I feel like she thinks she's gonna do the same with our baby.
His great gma has definitely hurt me the worst though. We drove to his hometown where his great grandparents live. We has just got a new SUV family car, so that's how we told them. Saying "yeah, we're gonna need a little bit more room now" and showing them the u/s. Well, great gma just pushed me straight to the back and went and hugged him and cried with him and congratulated him. I am very thankful that she's actually happy and supportive, but, it just hurt when she acted like it was him all by himself and I had nothing to do with it.
Definitely not the worst thing that could happen, but already being pregnant and emotional, it just upset me at the time.

jsoubel

When we told my MIL I was pregnant the first time she said, "Oh, you'll be a great mother you're so....so....brainy!"  It was awkward and apparent she could not think of one nice thing to say about me except that I'm smart.  I guess that's better than what some of you poor gals have to deal with!

Eija3014

SO's mother is usually very supportive and sweet to me! Luckily!
But MY mother is a horrible bitch just like the MIL's in pp's. Her most recent outrageously rude comment was when I went to her house for dinner with my siblings. We were getting ready to eat and she said in front of everyone, "You don't need any, you look like you've been eating too much!"

That is the treatment I get on a regular basis from this woman.

steph1977

Beckypooh09 said:

After we announced this pregnancy my MIL told me that we should have told her we were trying so she could tell us how to have a girl. Yea my MIL is the last person on the earth I'd ever discuss the topic of TTC with. I'm so glad the ILs live almost 2 hours away!

Ha! Mine did the EXACT same thing during my 1st pregnancy! Something about feeding my DH more veggies...

loveyoga7

Titanium81 said:

I'm probably being overly sensitive but it really annoys me when my MIL goes on about how she already has a car seat, crib, etc at her house. Or turning her office back into a guest room (for the baby.) As if she's raising our child! She only lives 15 min away and I have so much anxiety about her overstepping my boundaries.

Sounds exactly like my MIL! She already purchased a crib and suggested that I purchase the same one she bought because it turns into a toddler bed and a youth bed later on. My MIL also turned her spare bedroom into a nursery/play room. It makes me feel like she wants to take my baby girl away from me. She had two boys and always wanted a girl. I can understand that she is excited but I have a strong feeling we are going to bump heads once my DD arrives.

Marusika

My MIL didn`t say anything rude yet but she said some funny things.

First, she thought that my baby weights few pounds when I was 7 weeks pregnant ) And my SIL asked what was the sex of the baby..at 7 weeks. yeah.

Marusika

emh81 said:

  And my personal favorite "you know pregnancy is not an excuse not to take care of your husband, you'll always be tired but you still need to cook and clean and take care I his needs, a man should never have to make his own dinner" DH has gained 12lbs since we found out we are expecting, I've gained 3... He's doing alright!

You know..if a man cooks his meal, his hands fall down on the ground. And balls too..

Poor men.

Cecilbear

Jmblue, ew! So sorry you had to hear that!

RebeccaY1

I'm very glad that my mother in law hasn't said any of these awful things.  I've been dealing with the other side of the coin, my mother in law has phoned several times during the past few months and has never said a word about the pregnancy.

Sisimama10

Mine said to my SO, "start saving now for child support!" Awesome!

sweetmelissa0707

Sisimama10 said:

Mine said to my SO, "start saving now for child support!" Awesome!

Good lord! She sounds like a real sweetie.

Sisimama10

sweetmelissa0707 said:

Sisimama10 said:

Mine said to my SO, "start saving now for child support!" Awesome!

Good lord! She sounds like a real sweetie.

She said she didn't mean it mean. Lol I'm like good to know!

teachingmama11

This pregnancy my MIL hasn't said much (mostly because we have limited the time we spend with her to as little as possible). She is always saying unkind things & overstepping boundaries in general though. If we ask her not to do something with DS, she says, "He is MY grandson." (To which we always reply, yes, because he is our son." She called me a bitch for not letting her hold our 5 month old when she had pink eye (and had lied to us about it). She also told us she did not like the name we chose for our son and purposely called him "baby" instead of his name (100% of the time) until we confronted her about it.

MalyJ

About 3 minutes after being sewn up and wheeled back to my room after a CS and am lying flat on my back, MIL says "Well I sure hope your recovery goes better than mine. My staples ripped open 3 times! Really painful. But then again, you're a little smaller than me." Granted, I'm no itty bitty lady, but this woman is 350+ pounds. I'm nowhere near that. She will NOT be coming to this hospital with this LO until I am vertical.

nessabeers

jenniferb123006 said:

When I was pregnant with DD1, MIL and FIL in separate conversations with each of us said that if we didn't keep our house clean to their standards they would call DCS and have her taken away. Our house was cluttered, not covered in dog feces etc.

It took until this past summer for us to allow our children to spend the night with them due to that comment alone. DD1 was 3 at the time.

Many other comments have been said over the years (MIL was drugged up with Valium at our wedding in order to be pleasant to everyone). That comment was just the worst.

No... They didn't!!! I would be outraged, I am for you!! X(

kali55

Mine said to my SO, "start saving now for child support!" Awesome!

Wow! What a :bz with an itch

BiggerinRealLife

I've had almost no contact with my MIL since we told her, but I'm sure I'll get some gems before this baby pops out.

Rfox831

'Your going to breast feed??? Well, that just seems unnatural. Maybe it's just my age but times are different now, my boobs were mine not for my sons to eat' ummm I'm pretty sure that breast feeding came before formula (and well before her 'time') and is the MOST natural thing I can do for the baby!!

KacieO

When I was pregnant with my DD, every time I saw my MIL she asked me "how much weight are women supposed to gain while pregnant, just 15-20 lbs right?"

When I had my DD and struggled with breast feeding for several weeks, before it started going well. She told me she couldn't believe it was so difficult for me, it was so easy for her with her kids.

During this pregnancy she found out I have been very nauseous and constantly throwing up. She told my husband (in front of me) she doesn't understand how I've been so sick, she felt wonderful during all four of her children.

tidymonster

Y'all, can I just say that I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a crazy MIL?!

Mine told me when they came shortly after DD was born (she's now 8) that she would be the one to teach her how to sew, properly serve tea, and deportment & elocution. She straight up said, "It's not your fault, honey, that you were raised in the no-uth. I'll take care of making sure this baby understands how a *real* Southern lady should behave."

Yeah. Ok. Uh huh. By being passive-aggressive and rude as hell?

She's said many bad things over the years, but the one that has gotten me lately is telling me she hopes #3 is a boy, so he can show DS (now 6) how a *real* boy should act. For real?! DS is one of the most compassionate young men I've ever had the pleasure to know. He is who he is. I responded with, "Well, just know. If you turn your back on DS for any reason, you turn your back on all of us. Including DH." But what's wonderful?! Joke's on you! It's another girl!!!

Titanium81

Tally06 said:

Titanium81 said:

I'm probably being overly sensitive but it really annoys me when my MIL goes on about how she already has a car seat, crib, etc at her house. Or turning her office back into a guest room (for the baby.) As if she's raising our child! She only lives 15 min away and I have so much anxiety about her overstepping my boundaries.

Lurking...

I know that this may seem pushy, but my MIL and mom having all of these things at their house and already set up before DS was born made it really convenient and easy to drop him off so that DH and I could go out by ourselves.

Knowing that this stuff was there and ready made it seem like less of a production and made us more likely to drop DS off so we could grab a bite to eat, go to a movie, have a drink, etc. and has been the best thing for our marriage and sanity.

Count yourself lucky that she is so willing to take this on! You will benefit greatly!

I know you're right! She was very helpful to my SIL when she and my niece lived closer. 

I think it mostly bugs me because my own mother (who I am very close to) lives 5 hours away and it makes me sad that my daughter probably won't know her as well. I selfishly want my mom to be #1 Grandma.

Laura11786

When I had my second mc and had to have a d&c to extract it from my womb my mil waited a whole day to tell me "it's just like a cold you just have to get over it"
When I had my sons 1st birthday party fil and mil decided to announce during my toast to my long awaited son that bil was 3 yes 3 weeks pg with their 4th! Could they not have waited one more day to tell us she was a week late with her period I was beyond furious!
Mil told me I was being selfish bfing as she couldn't feed my son and said I wouldn't do it anyway as he was 8lb 4oz when he was born and was too heavy for me to feed for any length of time..... I fed for a year haha take that you rotten old bitch!

knotty-girl

I went to a Halloween part tonight and MIL kept exclaiming to me how great the hosts body was. Honestly I thought this woman was very skinny, and while I wouldn't criticize her body, I also don't consider it to be ideal or worthy of envy. She was saying how the last time she saw her she was pregnant, and how she just had her baby. It really annoyed me, one because why say that to a pregnant woman (me) who has doctors orders that prevent her from doing her normal exercise routine, and two because she seems to think thinner is the winner when it comes to attractive body types, and three I don't feel it's appropriate to discuss other people's bodies, and four she had made snarky comments to me pre-pregnancy about working out to much and alluding that I was getting "bulky." I just wanted to kick her in the crotch. Maybe I'm hormonal but it just seemed super insensitive.

newter135

My mil worst offense is she keeps trying to push an unsafe very large cradle on us. DH slept in it and she has kept a record if every baby that has slept in it since then. The thing is outside of the safety issue (it rocks in a way that would make the baby roll plus there is no padding just hard wood), it's enormous and could only be use for the first few months after that we have no place to put it (no attic and our basement gets water in it) plus it won't fit in our bedroom or the nursery with the existing furniture. When we tried to gently tell her she started sobbing, in the middle of a restaurant...since then she keeps bringing it up trying to guilt DH into saying yes but he keeps avoiding outright saying no. I feel like the whole issue is just a ticking time bomb.

MamaFantastic

my MIL is actually really great!  case in point:

this weekend as i was struggling to get a full tuxedo on my just-woke-from-his-nap 3 year old, things started escalating and he was thrashing around and screaming and hitting me and i was getting very frustrated.  i gave him warning after warning, distracted him, offered him desirable things and tried to turn it into a game, etc etc...  the full bag of parenting tricks.  i even offered him candy, for goodness sake!  kiddo would have NONE of it... and i was starting to cramp as i tried to hold him down and put his suit on (time was very much of the essence and we HAD to get to the church right away...)

anyway....  long story short, i totally spanked him out of anger.  i was feeling really disappointed in myself because, though i do believe a well-timed spank is appropriate in certain situations, i have really vowed to never spank him out of frustrating and anger in the moment...  and i was sharing that with my MIL, who had sat right there and witnessed the entire thing (and wisely stayed out of it both in word and in deed in the heat of the moment!)

she then reassured me of all the things i had done right in that moment (calm voice, consistent expectations, trying to distract and make concessions when appropriate, giving warnings, and following through on the consequences) and told me about one time when my husband was 2 or 3 and she just lost it with him and started spanking him over and over.  she said she was wracked with horrible guilt for years over that, and she totally understood my emotions in the moment.  she told me i was a good mom and i had dealt very well with a terribly stressful situation.

needless to say, it was exactly what i needed to hear in the moment. and i did feel much better about myself after her pep talk.  score one for my MIL!!

strawberrytree

I rarely have to deal with my MIL, since DH is not the favoured child so she doesn't bother with us too much. She did come and visit when DS was 10 days old and spent most of the time making fun of me because I went into the bedroom and shut the door when it was time to breastfeed. SHE used to nurse her kids on the couch all the time while her parents were over, and since that is totally the same thing as doing it in front of your in laws who you've met a grand total of five times in three years she didn't understand why I didn't do the same. (I nurse in public all the time now without a cover, in front of anybody and everybody...except her. Heh.)

That same visit, when DS started to cry, I took him out of her arms and started singing softly to him. She said "Wow, your singing voice is even worse than mine is! I didn't think that was possible!" I just stared at her in shock and all I could think to say was "Well...he's a newborn, I don't think he really cares." She doesn't know about this baby yet. I kind of wish things could stay that way. 

Alana1977

TallaB said:

i don't plan on seeing my MIL at all during my pregnancy. After she chewed me out for 2 hours because I didn't finish all my dinner (yes, I am 5 years old), told me I should eat until I barf when someone invites me over, said my parents should be ashamed of me and that i'm probably adopted...and called me a c*nt - I pretty much told her we were done and I wouldn't be seeing her again! So, at least she won't get a chance to advise me on the pregnancy!

Wow! Just wow!

BeckyF82

Again this is my mum not my MIL but tonight my hyperemesis got the better of me and I spent the best part of two hours sobbing uncontrollably. I'd been sick 12 times in 36 hours, was so dehydrated I couldn't stand up because I was dizzy and faint, was shivering constantly but boiling hot to touch and kept throwing up any medication I tried to take. My mum called right in the middle of my hysterical bawling and told me to "grow up, and appreciate that the baby is probably doing you a favour by making you lose a bit of weight". I am plus size and trust me, witch, my weight was not the first thing on my mind last night! Bah!

avidkeo

BeckyF82 said:

Again this is my mum not my MIL but tonight my hyperemesis got the better of me and I spent the best part of two hours sobbing uncontrollably. I'd been sick 12 times in 36 hours, was so dehydrated I couldn't stand up because I was dizzy and faint, was shivering constantly but boiling hot to touch and kept throwing up any medication I tried to take. My mum called right in the middle of my hysterical bawling and told me to "grow up, and appreciate that the baby is probably doing you a favour by making you lose a bit of weight". I am plus size and trust me, witch, my weight was not the first thing on my mind last night! Bah!

OMG, I cannot believe this! total TP material! 

babym6705

It's nothing offensive, but it is kinda dumb. I am 16w4d pregnant and just started feeling the kicks and rolls starting at 16w0d. My mother law touched my belly at 16w2d and was like "I can feel the baby moving!" I just smiled but in my head I was like "um no you can't, lol, your either lying or your crazy." It wasn't a big deal really but I definitely had to roll my eyes discreetly, lol. The kicks and rolls are still light and the baby wasn't even moving when she said it, lol, so I know she didnt feel it.

PaddysGirl8

Last visit my MiL told my own mother that she didn't understand what I was so tired since I do nothing during the day (umm, I just work 8-5 remotely from home, take care of 2 dogs, and had them as 2 house guests, and wasn't sleeping at night), how she cleaned (she only vacuumed ther living room where they were staying!), and I had taken a 10 minute nap! After that visit ther and FIL called husband "concerned" about our relationship, we were snippy towards each other when they were here, ok and??? They were concerned we were going to bring a child into a volatile relationship, and how it's not goo to be fighting, we weren't married a year yet. Yeah but we are together almost 5 years and have lived together from day 1, I think we are gonna be just. Then they said how they didn't feel welcome here. I'm sorry I couldn't bow down 24-7 since I was exhausted and sick. MIL is used to getting her way and if she doesn't she turns into a bitch or acts like a child and ignores people. She is used to her sons and husband giving in but nope, sorry, I'm not doing it. Then when hubby told them the doc thinks its a girl they were disappointed and the ask my husband is he disappointed and upset! WTF?? Mind you they told my parents "it just has to be a boy" We just told them we were looking to buy a house, yet another "concerned" call about how we aren't ready, there are too man changes going on. Um we are both 31 years old! Get a grip So then her next tactic is to get the attention on herself and tells hubby that they now out of no where plan to move across the country. She wants the attention and they know it hurts my husband to know that they will be almost non existent grandparents. Also, not baby related. My parents do equally for me, hubby, my bro. And SIl. My ILs, not so much. Whatever I don't need anything or want anything from them. But for Christmas I got stocking stuffers (mittens, winter hat, and jelly belly jelly beans) I was told they would get m play tickets of my choice so I can go. Ok great, I told them. Apparently on their next visit they changed it to they were going to go to the play as well and it was going to be a play of her choice. We never got the tickets and never got an I'm sorry. It's not about the gift cause I don't give a damn but I just can't stand them. And it's not like the don't have the $, my middle BiL is 28 and they are paying for his college, his apartment, his school supplies, his means of living, and he was told he is not to get a job. A 28 year old man being told by mommy and daddy to not get a job?? Wtf??!!

mray1976

My MIL asked me how much weight I gained when I was pregnant with my daughter. I told her I gained 40 pounds, and her response was, "WOW!!! That's UNBELIEVEABLE! Hopefully, you won't gain that much this time. I'll help you find some tips on losing baby weight."

I don't even know where to start on that one. First of all, 40 pounds isn't *that* much - it's not like I gained 80! AND, I don't need tips on losing baby weight from a 70-year-old woman who weighs like 95 pounds.

TNMomma

When my first DS was born he had a cone head. His head was big to begin with and he had been engaged in the birth canal for weeks, so no surprise with the cone head.  My MIL said afterwards that she was so worried because his head looked like an eggplant and her kids never looked like that. I replied "Apparently your vagina is much larger than mine."  (I blame the drugs, but let's be honest, it felt good to say). She still tells people about how worried she was at the shape of his head, but she leaves out my reply.

MrsL13

TNMomma said:

When my first DS was born he had a cone head. His head was big to begin with and he had been engaged in the birth canal for weeks, so no surprise with the cone head.  My MIL said afterwards that she was so worried because his head looked like an eggplant and her kids never looked like that. I replied "Apparently your vagina is much larger than mine."  (I blame the drugs, but let's be honest, it felt good to say). She still tells people about how worried she was at the shape of his head, but she leaves out my reply.

Hahahahahahaha! This I the best thing I have ever read.
=D>

Serenla

Laura11786 said:

When I had my second mc and had to have a d&c to extract it from my womb my mil waited a whole day to tell me "it's just like a cold you just have to get over it"
When I had my sons 1st birthday party fil and mil decided to announce during my toast to my long awaited son that bil was 3 yes 3 weeks pg with their 4th! Could they not have waited one more day to tell us she was a week late with her period I was beyond furious!
Mil told me I was being selfish bfing as she couldn't feed my son and said I wouldn't do it anyway as he was 8lb 4oz when he was born and was too heavy for me to feed for any length of time..... I fed for a year haha take that you rotten old bitch!

I want to round house kick her in the face.