September 2013 Moms

FFFC

It seems like its been a while, so lets hear your confessions!
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Re: FFFC

  • I've been needing to get this off my chest... my DH has gained some weight lately, and its causing me to not be as attracted to him. I've nicely mentioned to him how he's put on a few pounds and maybe he should cut back on unhealthy food or exercise. He acknowledges that he's gained weight but so far hasn't done anything about it. I will have my 6 week pp appt next week and I was looking forward to sex, but I'm afraid his newly enlarged stomach is really going to turn me off. I feel bad even saying that because he still had sex with me when my stomach was big during pregnancy. But its different. And my stomach isn't that big anymore. I know this makes me sound really vain. Maybe "confessing" willl be therapeutic.
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  • I feel the opposite. I seriously need to lose weight, I'm 6 weeks PP and I obviously gained more than just baby weight, I have fat. My fiance thinks he's gained weight too, he has a little bit, it's not a big deal to me but he wants to lose weight with me when I start dieting. I wish he wouldn't! It takes a lot of work for me to lose weight and all it ever takes for him is a little exercise and cutting out a little junk food, he loses weight so fast and I just don't.

    I feel bad because he is having some heart and stomach issues and losing a little weight would probably really help him. I feel like an asshole for hoping that he doesn't lose weight faster or easier than me because it will make me feel bad even though it is what he needs to be healthy. I guess I should look at it like at least we'll be doing it together but I don't want to be a fatty still and have him looking all hot, lol.
  • My mil is coming in a week and a half for an entire week (Monday-Monday). I'm not excited at all. My own mother who is like my BFF only came for 5 days. The mil is loud and chain smokes (but will not be in my house!). So help me if the baby smells like smoke at all I lose my shit.
  • My mil is coming in a week and a half for an entire week (Monday-Monday). I'm not excited at all. My own mother who is like my BFF only came for 5 days. The mil is loud and chain smokes (but will not be in my house!). So help me if the baby smells like smoke at all I lose my shit.

    A whole week? I would go insane! Bless your heart.
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  • I had a total meltdown last night when little one was fighting sleep terribly. She only wanted to be held and rocked standing up. I couldn't handle the thought of being up with her all night then home alone with her all day tomorrow while DH worked. Thank goodness DH came to the rescue and calmed LO and me both to sleep.
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  • I would hate to be your husband. Thank god my husband loves me for me and not what I look like because I put on a lot of weight a few years ago.

    I want to shout from the roof top about my amazing supply, but I know there are people who are struggling so I keep quiet.

    I don't think my husband hates to be my husband. I didn't say I don't love him because he's put on weight, just that I'm not quite as attracted to him right now. There's a big difference.
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  • @Bamgal25 thanks for the sympathy. It's going to be a very, very long week!
  • I am jealous of the moms that have a great supply and have found nursing not to be a huge challenge. I have been pumping every 2-3 hours every day for weeks to try to increase my milk as well as eat oatmeal, drink a ton of water and coconut water, and take Mothers love milk plus and I still need to suppliment with formula.

    I am jealous of the moms that have lost all of their baby weight. I still have 20 lbs to go before I hit my pre pregnancy weight and 15 more lbs to go to get to my normal weight.

    Above all, I am so very jealous of the moms who have babies that aren't suffering from reflux. I feel like I can't enjoy my baby like I should because all he does is sleep and scream and cry. I hate seeing him in constant pain and nothing I am doing is making him any happier. I just want him to not be in pain and maybe be able to have him sleep in his crib or swing during part of the day rather than on my chest. I am also very terrified that nobody will want to watch my reflux/colic baby.
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  • I read all the rants about MILs. I wish more than anything my MIL was alive to drive me crazy. We had a complicated relationship in the beginning but by the time she passed we were very close. I realize she felt no one was good enough for her son. As a mom of three boys, I see where she came.
  • I'm supposed to be looking for a job but I just don't want one! I worked and prayed so hard for this baby and had such a hard pregnancy that I don't think it's fair that I have to hand her over to someone I don't know very well for 40 hrs a week!! But I only have enough savings to get me through December maybe... And then DH and I won't be able to afford me not working anymore :(
  • My grandmother has been here all week providing free childcare while I substitute teach. She also does laundry and dishes. While she isn't great with LO, she does enjoy doing my housework. My confession though is that if she doesn't go home when I get off at noon today I'm gonna lose my shit!! She is driving me NUTS! The first day, I came home to LO covered in dribbled milk, not having slept all day, etc and my grandmother so exhausted like she's the first woman to ever care for an infant! She is so afraid she's gonna break LO (I guess) that she throws him at me or DH as soon as we walk into the room and starts doing something else. She does things trying to help but does them all wrong and screws things up... she also does not take being corrected well so i cant tell her how to do it right. Last straw, this morning DH fished three bottle nipples out of the GARBAGE DISPOSAL! I'm so disgusted I can't even imagine that it is possible to wash them enough that I will feel comfortable using then again. She's got to go!
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  • Bamgal25 said:

    I would hate to be your husband. Thank god my husband loves me for me and not what I look like because I put on a lot of weight a few years ago.

    I want to shout from the roof top about my amazing supply, but I know there are people who are struggling so I keep quiet.

    I don't think my husband hates to be my husband. I didn't say I don't love him because he's put on weight, just that I'm not quite as attracted to him right now. There's a big difference.
    I think the point is that if you love him, it shouldn't matter what he looks like, you should be attracted to him for who he is. I get what you are saying but if the tables were turned you'd probably feel like total shit. And whether you mean to or not, I bet he's picking up on how you feel.
  • I hate that Elliot was so cranky last night after his shots, but he slept 9 hours and then another 4 so I'm kind of glad they wore him out.
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  • I'm so glad this is on here today! My confession is that I hate my dog. Hate is a pretty strong word, so I'll say I'm extremely annoyed and highly dislike my dog right now. I feel bad about it, as she's always been "my" dog and follows me around and loves me like her life depends on it, but between DD1 and DD2 I have enough closeness and the dog just pushes me over the edge. I just need space! And she's old and kinda senile, deaf, and has problems walking sometimes, so I feel bad for being so annoyed. To top that off she won't stay outside for more than about 5 seconds without obnoxiously, compulsively whining at the back door. I know babies are big changes for pets too, yada yada, but I'm seriously over it.
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  • @Zmommy2 - I feel you on the dog thing! Our dog is super annoying- wants to go in/out of the house every 5 minutes, barks at people he sees or hears outside while he's INSIDE the house, slobbers all over everything, take food out of the kids hands if they aren't paying attention, knocks them over when he plays too hard or is trying to get out of the door at the same time they are...and on and on. It's just too much to deal with on top of three kids. He was crate trained up until a couple years ago when i became a SAHM so I think we're going to have to go back to that for a couple hours a day. It's either that or he'll have to be rehomed. I'm seriously at the end of my rope with him.
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  • I know all the milk I can give DD will help her, but I'm relieved that this will be my last week pumping. I made a goal to give her all I could (maybe 5oz a day) until she got her 2 month shots. She got those on Wednesday, so I'm officially packing up the pump this weekend.
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  • I loved my C-section and have already decided to have a RCS for our second (and last) child.  I never once felt like I was robbed of "giving birth".  I kept such an open mind during pregnancy about what birth experience I wanted and I always knew that I would just want to go with the flow so when my doctor told me it would be best for a C, I readily agreed. 



    This reminded me of my confession I thought of earlier this week. I don't understand why people get their mind set on a birth plan. It makes no sense to me because you have no idea what is going to happen and to me you need to keep an open mind for the safety of you and your child. I had some basic ideas of what I wanted, but it more so was whatever the doctor felt was best. The part of my birth plan hat I really cared about was having a healthy baby and not having a thousand visitors as soon as I delivered. I did not have my mind set on vaginal over c-section. Although I preferred a vaginal birth I would have accepted a c-section as well. This is not judging those who were upset with their birth plan I just don't understand why someone would have their heart set on a specific birth plan.
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  • I wanted to BF my DD at least until 2 month shots.

    I stressed myself out to the point of crazy town with my DS trying to nurse, pump and bottle feed. This time around I thought it was working until we went for a weight check and she didn't gain weight in a week. When the Dr said give formula I did it. (she was 3 wks and still not close to back to birth weight of 6# 8 oz). I think that's when I mentally quit trying to nurse. I still put her to the breast and I half heartedly pumped but not to the level of commitment I needed. Now at 5 weeks she is FF 100%.

    I feel guilty for not trying as hard with her as I did with my DS.
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  • I was 100% on board with cloth diapering before LO got here. Did tons and tons of research, bought what I needed, etc. She was too small for them when we brought her home (5lb 8oz) so we decided to use sposies until she fit. Now that she's bigger, they fit, but I hate how bulky they are. I feel bad about it, but at this point, I think I'd rather shell out tons of money for Seventh Gen or Earths Best sposies than CD. Maybe I'll try again when she's bigger, maybe not.

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  • Bamgal25 said:
    I've been needing to get this off my chest... my DH has gained some weight lately, and its causing me to not be as attracted to him. I've nicely mentioned to him how he's put on a few pounds and maybe he should cut back on unhealthy food or exercise. He acknowledges that he's gained weight but so far hasn't done anything about it. I will have my 6 week pp appt next week and I was looking forward to sex, but I'm afraid his newly enlarged stomach is really going to turn me off. I feel bad even saying that because he still had sex with me when my stomach was big during pregnancy. But its different. And my stomach isn't that big anymore. I know this makes me sound really vain. Maybe "confessing" willl be therapeutic.
    I understand where you're coming from. I think it's more hormones than anything. I love my husband to death but I've honestly had no desire whatsoever to be intimate with him. He is having a hard time adjusting and he hasn't helped out a lot with the cleaning or the baby. He gets frustrated easily with Alec too. I've given him slack because it's all new to him but Alec is almost 2 months so I'm kind of over it. I get super jealous when I see other girls talking about how great their husbands are about taking the initiative with the baby or with cleaning. I had to break down and cry in front of DH the other night just to let him know how frustrated I've been.

    I am hoping my sex drive comes back because as of now I could care less about getting it on. And it's opposite for us. He has lost about 30 pounds and I'm still up 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.
  • VitaLuna said:

    I was 100% on board with cloth diapering before LO got here. Did tons and tons of research, bought what I needed, etc. She was too small for them when we brought her home (5lb 8oz) so we decided to use sposies until she fit. Now that she's bigger, they fit, but I hate how bulky they are. I feel bad about it, but at this point, I think I'd rather shell out tons of money for Seventh Gen or Earths Best sposies than CD. Maybe I'll try again when she's bigger, maybe not.

    I hate how bulky my one size diapers are too. They look cute when that is all he is wearing, but under clothes they look silly. I'm waiting until he is bigger to use them all the time just because I don't like the way they look.

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  • I have a couple:

    1. Even though Bf'ing is going super well, I don't enjoy it that much. I've always heard moms talking about how much they missed it when they stopped and how magical it was and how much they connected with their babies during feedings... I guess I just don't get it. It doesn't really hurt or anything, but it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. And my body gets sore stuck in one position. I don't hate it or anything, and I understand how lucky I am to be able to provide for my child, but I'll be honest- I usually just zone out to old episodes of Parks and Rec during feedings. The baby's eyes are closed 95% of the time anyway! Maybe this makes me a bad mom.

    2. My husband is awesome with Caleb and I love having him home to help because he almost always takes initiative in calming him and changing him, plus he makes meals and cleans when I ask, and he's always super willing to do little things for me like grab me a glass of water or whatever. We haven't run into any issues yet, but I do have this secret feeling that it's sort of his obligation to do everything he can with the baby when he's home, since I have to do everything when he isn't... And I always have to feed him. I'm lucky he doesn't mind, because even though it's selfish of me, I feel like I should get a free pass from diaper changes when he's home. I know he works long, hard days to provide for us and we are so blessed that I get to stay home with the baby, but I still feel this way. I'm really trying not to be a jerk about it (and luckily i havent needed to be) because I know DH hates how much he's been gone lately and he really misses us.
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  • I wanted to BF my DD at least until 2 month shots. I stressed myself out to the point of crazy town with my DS trying to nurse, pump and bottle feed. This time around I thought it was working until we went for a weight check and she didn't gain weight in a week. When the Dr said give formula I did it. (she was 3 wks and still not close to back to birth weight of 6# 8 oz). I think that's when I mentally quit trying to nurse. I still put her to the breast and I half heartedly pumped but not to the level of commitment I needed. Now at 5 weeks she is FF 100%. I feel guilty for not trying as hard with her as I did with my DS.
    Same here. I was super stressed because Lucas wasn't gaining and nursing was awful, but I kept at it for 13 miserable weeks. With Alexis we were going down the same path. At 5 weeks I was told she's not transferring at the breast you gotta pump. Occasionally I put her on the breast after a bottle, but meh. I'm too cheap for formula at this point, but no where near freaking out about trying to nurse.
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  • @HBirdie: I thought from before I was pg that I would love BFing. The first weeks I really resented it and couldn't understand how people enjoyed it. My LO is almost 9wks and just recently it got to the point that I know I'd miss it. When LO pops off and gives you huge milk drunk smiles, it changes things :)

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  • I wanted to BF my DD at least until 2 month shots. I stressed myself out to the point of crazy town with my DS trying to nurse, pump and bottle feed. This time around I thought it was working until we went for a weight check and she didn't gain weight in a week. When the Dr said give formula I did it. (she was 3 wks and still not close to back to birth weight of 6# 8 oz). I think that's when I mentally quit trying to nurse. I still put her to the breast and I half heartedly pumped but not to the level of commitment I needed. Now at 5 weeks she is FF 100%. I feel guilty for not trying as hard with her as I did with my DS.
    I like BFing for the most part, but at this point, I'm more supplementing with breast milk and mainly formula feeding. I was prepared to have issues since I had a breast reduction. I didn't realize how many other moms who didn't have that would be in my same boat or even worse off. Right now, we only nurse in the morning and formula the remainder of the day. She won't even take my boob after 5pm.

    Jamie


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  • I'm 40 lbs over pre-pg weight and 50 lbs over my normal weight. I gained close to 65 lbs during pregnancy. I know that I should be eating better and walking/exercising, but that's not happening right now. I've had issues with eating since I was a teen and this hasn't helped. What really sucks is I imagine what my body looks like (more pre-pg) and then I look in the mirror and see reality and it blows. I don't have the right motivation right now to do what it takes to change that. I'm not sure what will be a good motivation yet.

    Jamie


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  • My Friday confession is that I miss the snark.

    For real! Are we all just soft now that we have out babies, or maybe there are less dumb questions. Idk, but we could use a good snarky thread.
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  • Sometimes when she will not calm down and I am at my wits end I wonder why the hell I ever thought I wanted kids at a younger age. granted she was not planned but we always discussed having kids younger vs old. A lot of times I get pissed that I am not doing what other people my age are doing. Or just to have my freedom back. But then I give myself a good reality check that the grass is not always greener on the other side and that I love her more than anything and even on her bad days I wouldn't give her up. Some days though... I just want to lock her in a sound proof room. 

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  • My Friday confession is that I miss the snark.
    For real! Are we all just soft now that we have out babies, or maybe there are less dumb questions. Idk, but we could use a good snarky thread.

    I think it's sleep deprivation.
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  • I am the worst "housewife" on the planet. Like the worst.

    I would say a good 70% of the time I have been on leave (12 weeks) DH has came home from a long day at work and picked up the house and cooked dinner. I have been pooped from the baby obviously but I feel like I should be doing more! So I have started the last couple weeks but I go back to work in a week so it's not like it matters.

    He is awesome and has never once complained I just really feel like I fail when it comes to my wifely duties.
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  • 1. I LOVE my MIL more than I ever thought possible I wish she would move in! Never thought I would say this, but she is so helpful on the days she is here!!!

    2. I really want to just stop breastfeeding but am sticking with it to lose weight
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  • I think I finally have a confession that's flame worthy!
    I'll be 5 weeks post partum on Tuesday, and I have lost 40 of the 50 lbs that I gained during pregnancy. And my confession is that I'm tired of feeling guilty about that because most women aren't as lucky. I am excited about it, but because not every woman is lucky enough, I'm suppose to keep my mouth shut and feel almost ashamed. My SILs hate me because of it. I think they really wanted me to stay fat after I had the baby.
  • I think I finally have a confession that's flame worthy!
    I'll be 5 weeks post partum on Tuesday, and I have lost 40 of the 50 lbs that I gained during pregnancy. And my confession is that I'm tired of feeling guilty about that because most women aren't as lucky. I am excited about it, but because not every woman is lucky enough, I'm suppose to keep my mouth shut and feel almost ashamed. My SILs hate me because of it. I think they really wanted me to stay fat after I had the baby.

    I think it's wonderful that you've done it. I may not have, but I am not upset about anyone else achieving it. You should be proud and able to show that you're proud! :D

    Jamie


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  • I loved my C-section and have already decided to have a RCS for our second (and last) child.  I never once felt like I was robbed of "giving birth".  I kept such an open mind during pregnancy about what birth experience I wanted and I always knew that I would just want to go with the flow so when my doctor told me it would be best for a C, I readily agreed. 


    Yes, my doctor told me because if the issues I had and the way my pelvis is that cesarean would be my only option again more than likely. After my whole labor process this time and ending up with the emergency c/s, the c/s was my favorite part and I'm happy that next time I'll know going into it that that's what's going to happen.

    I thought of another one, I hated bfing so bad, I hated every second of it. DD and I both had issues so it didn't work out and I am secretly so happy that it didn't. It was so stressful for me and I know part of it was the issues but regardless, I truly hated it.

    And after I told my fiance today how ashamed I am of my weight and how stressed I am about starting Slimgenics again, his response was, "I understand why you want to lose weight and it will be better for your health but I want to make sure you know that I will always think you're beautiful no matter what. And I'll support and help you any way I can." That's what love is. If he was anything like the poster who was less attracted to their partner and he told me I needed to eat better and exercise and was less attracted to me, I would be completely devastated. You choose to be with someone for better or worse, you support them during the worse times and you help them. I can't imagine being less attracted to him ever, regardless of hormones, he's the best person I've ever met and that's what's most attractive about him.

    Ugh, apologies, that turned into a ramble.
  • redfallon said:

    I think I finally have a confession that's flame worthy!
    I'll be 5 weeks post partum on Tuesday, and I have lost 40 of the 50 lbs that I gained during pregnancy. And my confession is that I'm tired of feeling guilty about that because most women aren't as lucky. I am excited about it, but because not every woman is lucky enough, I'm suppose to keep my mouth shut and feel almost ashamed. My SILs hate me because of it. I think they really wanted me to stay fat after I had the baby.

    I think it's wonderful that you've done it. I may not have, but I am not upset about anyone else achieving it. You should be proud and able to show that you're proud! :D
    I feel the same way. I gained 45 pounds while pregnant and am now down 47. I am still trying to lose 10 more to get back to what I was when I started college. Everyone makes comments that make it obvious they think I'm losing the weight in an unhealthy way. I shouldn't have to apologize or defend myself.
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