have you seen this? (update to "What's Your Excuse?")

MOMama987 · October 2013

For the record, I wouldn't mind looking as good as the mom in picture #2.

watuzzigal · October 2013

Seriously love this.

AllieAGame · October 2013

Awesome. Great job to the mom on the left, but there is no reason to rub it in everyone's face. I saw her on the Today Show and she seemed just as snooty and condescending as the picture implies, though she swears that's, like, not how she meant it. Hair flip.

And for the record @2013sarabelleATX, with my team of professionals I still don't look as good as the mom on the right- which is ok because she rocks!

Edit: spelling and punctuation and I just wanted to add a little smiley face, yo.

c-elizabethf · October 2013

Love it!!

LaxMOM44 · October 2013

My excuse is I want my child to have as much mommy time as possible and the way my body looks isn't as important to me as getting to hang out with her.

Also f u biotch my abs are just as good as yours and my baby is half the age of your youngest. So suck on that.

LaxMOM44 · October 2013

Oh that came across a braggy...sorry. Please disregard the bottom part of my comment. (Didn't want to DD it even though it is lame of me to talk like that)

ILoveSnacks · October 2013

My excuse is that I love food more than I like abs. Always have, probably always will. Heh.

LaxMOM44 · October 2013

ILoveSnacks said:
My excuse is that I love food more than I like abs. Always have, probably always will. Heh.

I never would have assume you like food. I'm glad I NOW know how you feel about snacks. Lol but seriously food tops abs every day of the week.

fancefpp · October 2013

My excuse is I'm not a shallow person who finds self-worth in how I look. It sets a bad example for your children. I focus on being healthy, not strive to be perfect. Also, who poses in a bikini, basically, with their children like that? Put some clothes on! Maybe I'm just a prude, I don't know

TheyCalledHerKate · October 2013

I don't care that she's posing in a bikini (i would wear one at the beAch or pool with my baby) but not everyone has the resources or time to work out especially if you work outside of the home and only her a few hours with your baby everyday.

ILoveSnacks · October 2013

laxminavkar said:

ILoveSnacks said:
My excuse is that I love food more than I like abs. Always have, probably always will. Heh.
I never would have assume you like food. I'm glad I NOW know how you feel about snacks. Lol but seriously food tops abs every day of the week.

I forgot about my screen name for a minute but yup guess my post was redundant. Someday EMTs are going to have to cut open the wall of my house to get me out.

Lolalipsy · October 2013

Kudos to both of them. They look amazing.

I don't have an excuse. For me, I just aspire to be a good mum and look and feel the best I can. Sometimes how I look doesn't always reflect how good I feel. I just had a baby so I'm not going to be hard on myself.

Some women are just super organised and they can do both. I'm just not one of those.

bennyandthejets13 · October 2013

Agreed with the one on the right. I know I'm carrying 20 extra pounds around since the baby but I don't care that much. Sure I'd love to lose it and probably could if I tried but I'm not even trying right now and I don't care lol. My baby is happy, healthy and fed and we have a roof over our heads so that's more important to me.

LaxMOM44 · October 2013

ILoveSnacks said:

laxminavkar said:

ILoveSnacks said:
My excuse is that I love food more than I like abs. Always have, probably always will. Heh.
I never would have assume you like food. I'm glad I NOW know how you feel about snacks. Lol but seriously food tops abs every day of the week.
I forgot about my screen name for a minute but yup guess my post was redundant. Someday EMTs are going to have to cut open the wall of my house to get me out.

Sorry that sounded bitchy. I was just having a giggle at how clearly you like food. Ugh I have no skill at humour today.

ILoveSnacks · October 2013

Oh no, I totally took it as a joke and was joking back! I do love snacks and food. I'm in the normal weight range now but DH and I joke that someday I will be housebound.

ETA I seriously just typed that one handed while eating Cheez Its.

emmy236 · October 2013

I'd love to work out again but I get like 2 hours a day with him after work and before he goes to bed. I'm not going to give up a second with him. I could work out once he's asleep but let's be real, it's wine time. But Im still winning because my husband loves me just as much now and he looks like Ryan Gosling

;;)

Edit: I'm emoticon-challenged.

kyliensc · October 2013

I think shes an ass for implying everyone wants to look like that after 3 kids. I just want to have hair and not piss myself. Thats my goal. Not abs and a fake tan.

bumpuser8130818 · October 2013

I was watching an interview she did on the news and she used the word "exspecially". She's exspecially stupid.

Schell2013 · October 2013

There was actually a study done, and I foget where I watched it or read it but it actually said the "mummy tummy" doesn't always go away for some people and no matter how much you starve yourself or work out some people need a tummy tuck in the end. My point to this is that some people literally cannot get a perfect body back.

I tried to cut calories back and my supply tanked hard. I decided feeding my baby is more important than being slim at this point in the game. I'll deal with my flabby belly in a few months when she is weaned.

LaxMOM44 · October 2013

My excuse is I don't give a f what my abs look like right now.

Shoegal36 · October 2013

beckyschell said:

There was actually a study done, and I foget where I watched it or read it but it actually said the "mummy tummy" doesn't always go away for some people and no matter how much you starve yourself or work out some people need a tummy tuck in the end. My point to this is that some people literally cannot get a perfect body back. I tried to cut calories back and my supply tanked hard. I decided feeding my baby is more important than being slim at this point in the game. I'll deal with my flabby belly in a few months when she is weaned.

I'm a little late to this thread but yes, that happens sometimes and it's called Diastasis Recti. Your abdominal muscles actually tear and separate during pregnancy. It happened to me and it sounds god awful but I never felt anything and wouldn't have known until the nurses told me when they were examining me after delivery. Doing sit ups/crunches can actually just make the situation worse. So unfortunately the only 6 pack I will ever have will be a 6 pack of Coors Light. (LOL as IF I would ever have one regardless)

jerseygirl81 · October 2013

So I've been busy with work and other things and don't come around as much as I'd like, but I just have to say that I'm SO. TIRED. of the sanctimommy comments about how "spending time with my child is more important" and "I'm more focused on being a good mom." How is saying that any better than saying what she said?

I exercise 6 days a week, and it doesn't take a moment away from my kids. 5 of the 6 days I get it done while the rest of the house is sleeping. One day per week we have family workout hour in the basement - baby naps and big kid actually joins us and does his own exercise. Exercise and healthy living are things that we want to teach our children about. We want them to understand that health is a priority that they need to make time for. Sure, that doesn't mean looking like she does, or even WANTING to look like she does, but the idea that you can't be a good mother if you're spending time on yourself is laughable. I also work 40 hours per week.

And telling her to put more clothes on? Come on. I wear a bikini to the pool and to the beach. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still a woman, or still my own person. I wear what makes me comfortable and happy. Kids see much worse on TV and in advertisements.

watuzzigal · October 2013

jerseygirl81 said:
So I've been busy with work and other things and don't come around as much as I'd like, but I just have to say that I'm SO. TIRED. of the sanctimommy comments about how "spending time with my child is more important" and "I'm more focused on being a good mom." How is saying that any better than saying what she said?

I exercise 6 days a week, and it doesn't take a moment away from my kids. 5 of the 6 days I get it done while the rest of the house is sleeping. One day per week we have family workout hour in the basement - baby naps and big kid actually joins us and does his own exercise. Exercise and healthy living are things that we want to teach our children about. We want them to understand that health is a priority that they need to make time for. Sure, that doesn't mean looking like she does, or even WANTING to look like she does, but the idea that you can't be a good mother if you're spending time on yourself is laughable. I also work 40 hours per week.

And telling her to put more clothes on? Come on. I wear a bikini to the pool and to the beach. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still a woman, or still my own person. I wear what makes me comfortable and happy. Kids see much worse on TV and in advertisements.

I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light.

I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

MommaG123 · October 2013

watuzzigal said:

So I've been busy with work and other things and don't come around as much as I'd like, but I just have to say that I'm SO. TIRED. of the sanctimommy comments about how "spending time with my child is more important" and "I'm more focused on being a good mom." How is saying that any better than saying what she said?

I exercise 6 days a week, and it doesn't take a moment away from my kids. 5 of the 6 days I get it done while the rest of the house is sleeping. One day per week we have family workout hour in the basement - baby naps and big kid actually joins us and does his own exercise. Exercise and healthy living are things that we want to teach our children about. We want them to understand that health is a priority that they need to make time for. Sure, that doesn't mean looking like she does, or even WANTING to look like she does, but the idea that you can't be a good mother if you're spending time on yourself is laughable. I also work 40 hours per week.

And telling her to put more clothes on? Come on. I wear a bikini to the pool and to the beach. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still a woman, or still my own person. I wear what makes me comfortable and happy. Kids see much worse on TV and in advertisements.
I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light. I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

Which you(collective) responded to with your own sancti-momminess that you would rather be spending time with your kids because you are such a better mommy. Yes the original picture was sucky, but so are some of these replies. The fact is people make time for the things that are important to them. You, again collective, could spend thirty minutes working out instead of on the bump, or instead of sleeping, or wine time, or TV time. Or if you have a clingy kid wear them while you go on a walk. There are 24 hours in a day and your kid isn't awake for all of them. There is time, people just choose to spend it on other things. Which is fine. If you don't want to work out and you are happy with how you look that is great too. But to say you would rather spend time with your kids than work out IS sanctimommy bs.

watuzzigal · October 2013

MommaG123 said:

watuzzigal said:

I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light.

I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

Which you(collective) responded to with your own sancti-momminess that you would rather be spending time with your kids because you are such a better mommy. Yes the original picture was sucky, but so are some of these replies. The fact is people make time for the things that are important to them. You, again collective, could spend thirty minutes working out instead of on the bump, or instead of sleeping, or wine time, or TV time. Or if you have a clingy kid wear them while you go on a walk. There are 24 hours in a day and your kid isn't awake for all of them. There is time, people just choose to spend it on other things. Which is fine. If you don't want to work out and you are happy with how you look that is great too. But to say you would rather spend time with your kids than work out IS sanctimommy bs.

Oh nooooow I understand.

Boo0512 · October 2013

Dude, I totally wish I looked like her. However between working from home and taking care of DD full-time it's hard to find time to workout. The unhealthy eating I don't have an excuse for.

More so than looking fit I really miss feeling healthy. I don't feel healthy at all, I think I'd cough up a lung if I attempted to run around my yard right now

I think what sucks about the message is that it doesn't motivate (most) it shames (as already stated). Women who have had a baby are already under a lot of pressure to get back into shape and this just makes us feel worse. I read somewhere that the "post-baby body is a four letter word." Sad but true! I don't love the way my tummy looks but I'm so grateful that my body was able to carry a healthy baby.

I give both moms in the photos mad props, they both look great! I think a much better caption for the original photo would have been "Don't give up!"

Edited for missing word & again for spelling.

emmy236 · October 2013

watuzzigal said:

jerseygirl81 said:
So I've been busy with work and other things and don't come around as much as I'd like, but I just have to say that I'm SO. TIRED. of the sanctimommy comments about how "spending time with my child is more important" and "I'm more focused on being a good mom." How is saying that any better than saying what she said?

I exercise 6 days a week, and it doesn't take a moment away from my kids. 5 of the 6 days I get it done while the rest of the house is sleeping. One day per week we have family workout hour in the basement - baby naps and big kid actually joins us and does his own exercise. Exercise and healthy living are things that we want to teach our children about. We want them to understand that health is a priority that they need to make time for. Sure, that doesn't mean looking like she does, or even WANTING to look like she does, but the idea that you can't be a good mother if you're spending time on yourself is laughable. I also work 40 hours per week.

And telling her to put more clothes on? Come on. I wear a bikini to the pool and to the beach. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still a woman, or still my own person. I wear what makes me comfortable and happy. Kids see much worse on TV and in advertisements.
I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light.

I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

Usually not snarky either but I agree. I said I wouldn't take a minute of time from my baby because that IS doing something for myself. Congrats on your 40 hour week but for a lot of us 40 hours is nothing. I hit that by weds/Thursday a lot of weeks. I have to be on Mumbai time half of the month to link my project testing here with our coders and tech team in India. Yes I could work out when DS goes to bed but a lot of the time I'm still working on something and if I'm not, I want time with DH. We go for walks as a family almost everyday but that isn't the strength training needed to look like that woman. Putting down the laptop and getting on the ground to play with my baby is way more beneficial to my health than jumping on a treadmill. At least the issue for me with that picture was that they were attributing her physical beauty is more important than the kids she's standing over.

Edit: hit post too soon.

Lolalipsy · October 2013

I think you have to be organised to fit in working out on top of everything else that needs doing. Like I said, I'm not super organised, I can't do both so I prioritise. Baby wins!

Boo0512 · October 2013

@lolalipsy I couldn't agree more! I want to workout but I haven't figured out how to work it into my schedule.

@jerseygirl81 I think it's amazing that you workout 6 days per week. That's awesome, I wish I could figure out how to get 2-3 days in!

Beachy730 · October 2013

What about putting your baby in a stroller and talking to them on your walks? Or wearing them in a carrier while you walk? Or putting them in a playmat, swing, etc. while you do some exercise?

If you would rather spend time with your kid on the floor, then good for you. But trying to shame moms who take the time for themselves to exercise is just as bad as this woman trying to shame others for not doing it.

Was her caption to the photo shitty? Sure. But it wouldn't be such a big deal if all of the moms out there with low self-esteem about their own bodies didn't start crying about it because their feelers were hurt.

Lolalipsy · October 2013

@beachy730 These are all things I do. I also take E swimming, sensory classes, signing, playgroup, sing along, etc etc etc. This is not a workout for me. A workout for me is spending time in the gym and going for a swim; things I don't have time for.

It's not right to assume that just because I don't have time for a work out that I "spend time with my kid on the floor".

I have no idea why I feel the need to justify myself but what the hec.

watuzzigal · October 2013

See. This is what's ridiculous and what brought out out my snark--twice (which I've only ever used once ever before). Now I already regret it.

Everyone now feels like they have to explain their schedules--which is EXACTLY what that caption does (along with body-shaming).And now people feel like they have to explain their schedules because a few people think they know how to critique schedules (exercise everyday, don't Bump, drink less wine, take walks with strollers/carriers, etc) and people's reaction to that caption.

I am purposefully not dragging out my family, work, exercise, and relaxation schedule on this thread because--I don't have to. A mom who does way more than walk/run shouldn't try to shame me into it, and I am working to not have to justify it to people who are making recommendations that don't already know my--or other people's--schedule.

I should have left the snark out.

Edit for clarity.

jerseygirl81 · October 2013

watuzzigal said:

I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light. I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

Way to totally miss the point of what I was saying. I wasn't repeating her message, just pointing out the hypocrisy of people basically implying that people who exercise regularly are "less-than" as moms because they aren't spending as much time with their kids.

watuzzigal said:

So I've been busy with work and other things and don't come around as much as I'd like, but I just have to say that I'm SO. TIRED. of the sanctimommy comments about how "spending time with my child is more important" and "I'm more focused on being a good mom." How is saying that any better than saying what she said?

I exercise 6 days a week, and it doesn't take a moment away from my kids. 5 of the 6 days I get it done while the rest of the house is sleeping. One day per week we have family workout hour in the basement - baby naps and big kid actually joins us and does his own exercise. Exercise and healthy living are things that we want to teach our children about. We want them to understand that health is a priority that they need to make time for. Sure, that doesn't mean looking like she does, or even WANTING to look like she does, but the idea that you can't be a good mother if you're spending time on yourself is laughable. I also work 40 hours per week.

And telling her to put more clothes on? Come on. I wear a bikini to the pool and to the beach. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still a woman, or still my own person. I wear what makes me comfortable and happy. Kids see much worse on TV and in advertisements.
I am so glad you came back from "work and other things [and your excercise]" to get onto us and basically repeat her message by telling us your schedule. We've all seen the light. I am so usually not snarky (and I am actually still holding back) but most of us had problems with her attitude, her body-shaming, and HER sancti-momminess.

emmy236 · October 2013

@beachy730 maybe go back and read others posts but there was zero flaming for moms who work out. My initial issue was that they were attributing physical perfection with being healthy almost to the point of it going before your children. There are so many more women depressed with their bodies post baby than those who are happy with it. That poster is really insensitive to that. The woman on the right isn't a fitness model but both her and her kids look happy and healthy and that is what we should really aspire to. I'm happy you have the time to work out so much, but making women who are simply just trying to find that happy and healthy family balance feel like they are failing isn't going to win you any mommy contests either.

jerseygirl81 · October 2013

there may not have been outright flaming, but how is saying "I'd rather spend time with my baby than worry about exercise" not implying that people who DO worry about exercise aren't as concerned with spending time with their babies?

My only point was that the shaming/sanctimommy comments/judging are going in both directions.

watuzzigal · October 2013

@jerseygirl81 , I should have left the snark out of it.

I didn't miss your point--I did, however, ALSO see the need to point out how busy you are and how much you exercise to a group that you haven't been as involved with LATELY. You don't know some of the struggles on here with time management or body issues or several other things. So your first post in a while came off, to me, as insensitive. If you want to get people to think about their reactions, there are other ways besides telling us that you are busy, don't interact with us as much because of that, and are "SO. TIRED..."

jerseygirl81 · October 2013

Having been a long-time member of various internet communities, I thought it would be nice to explain why I'm just now coming back. I'm sorry that I wasn't clear about that. I just always hate it when people randomly show up here and there, and I was trying to be a good community member and explain that I haven't been around much and didn't specifically visit the board today to stir shit.

watuzzigal · October 2013

Also, and I am being sincere not snarky, @jerseygirl81, @mommaG, and @beachy730, you might want to read the link in the post that starts with something like "have you felt this way?"

watuzzigal · October 2013

jerseygirl81 said:
Having been a long-time member of various internet communities, I thought it would be nice to explain why I'm just now coming back. I'm sorry that I wasn't clear about that. I just always hate it when people randomly show up here and there, and I was trying to be a good community member and explain that I haven't been around much and didn't specifically visit the board today to stir shit.

And this is exactly why I shouldn't have been snarky. I sincerely apologize.

fancefpp · October 2013

The bikini comment was about woman who prance around the gym in bikini tops and short shirts. The beach is different - it's hotter, you are getting sandy/wet. I also hate it when men take their shirts off at the gym too. It's a total AW move. Don't tell me this woman is running around like this all the time. Also, you don't have to dress in a full-length robe but a little modesty isn't a bad thing when you have children to think about. I would have died of embarrassment if my mom walked around like this, posting pictures on the Internet. I guess I feel the same way about regular clothes. The women that wear classy, well-fitted clothes always look better to me than the women who wear tight, look at me clothes. But, honestly, I am not losing sleep over it. And for the record, Dora and Bob the Builder aren't wearing bikinis, so, no, my kid isn't seeing worse on TV.

emmy236 · October 2013

I will say I do like how @jerseygirl81 talked about family exercise time with her older child. I cannot wait until R is older because we have a great family fitness and aquatics club here that once he's 8 months he can come too. They have family swim lessons and a tiny tot gym that he can play while mommy and daddy work out. We are an extremely athletic family so I am happy to have that option. Right now we're doing tons of hiking after work and on weekends but this stupid cold front isn't helping this week.

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