Am I being an overbearing Mother?

ProudMommyER073113 · October 2013

My DD is 11 weeks old today. I had to return to week at 10 weeks because I left work around 7 months pregnant. Had to be on bedrest for a short cervix

So my LO is in daycare, and I requested that they write on a piece of paper how many bottles, what time, how many naps and times, poops, etc..

I know some daycares do this without asking. So I didn't request it at first. I then realized that they were not doing it, so I asked them to.

She has been there a total of 7 days since I only work 4 days a week. Two of those days they "forgot"

I am getting upset. I am not trying to be an overbearing Mother, but I want to know what is happening and how many child is eating, sleeping, etc..

Am I asking too much or should I loosen up a bit?

LittleNugget93 · October 2013

It is very important information so don't feel like you are being overbearing.

Is it possible to switch daycares? If not, you may want to sit down and talk to the owner about why this is important to you.

ELauren88 · October 2013

Eh. When I pick LO up from a sitters, I just expect to know what time she last ate, and if she napped at all. Then again, since I feed on demand, it's not really pertinent to know times, and I just like to know if she napped at all, since she never naps the same time twice.

That could just be me, though. I'm pretty laid back since we don't use a sitter everyday.

VPGIRL06 · October 2013

No, that is pretty standard practice for the majority of daycares.

Since they don't have their own form, why don't you make one for them? Make a spread sheet (so like each column is divided into 30 minutes ) and the day care providers can write down when she did the things you want marked (i.e if she ate at 10 am, they can just write "4 oz" in the 10 am mark. if she napped from 11-1, they just write nap with an errow from 11-1, etc)

or you can create your own paper with 3 different boxes for diapers, napping and eating. they can write the times themselves. whatever is easiest but I do think doing something like this maybe make it easier for them and you.

kelseyjohnston · October 2013

It's unacceptable that they 'forgot.' I would keep pushing, it's your baby and as the mother you have the right to know the standard of care!

vintageutopia · October 2013

I am of two minds on this subject.

On one hand, if this is that important to you, I think they should honor your request. If they can't, due to time constraints or schedule, then they need to be honest with you.

OTOH, my daycare (which is awesome and safely saw my oldest two through their pre-elementary years) never did this. They kept track as part of their caregiver to caregiver information, but it wasn't communicated to the parents unless there was a change or concern. To me, it isn't relevant information. They would let me know the last time they ate/were changed, but not more than that unless I asked. If something seemed out of the ordinary, they never failed to let me know. I want them to spend time with my kid, not take that time writing down specifics that I will only glance at, kwim?

BelhurstBride · October 2013

Why is it "very important information?"2

ProudMommyER073113 · October 2013

BelhurstBride said:

Why is it "very important information?"2

My daughter is 11 weeks old yesterday. I want to know what schedule/routine my daughter is getting into. I am an involved Mother, I guess.

I would find it weird if a parent did NOT request this information.

ProudMommyER073113 · October 2013

I guess it all depends on styles of parenting and how old the child is. Did I mention she is only 11 weeks old? LOL. If she were 6 months, it would be a different tune.

To each their own. I think the consensus of most parents of 11 week olds would be "Yes, I would like that information"

BelhurstBride · October 2013

ProudMommyER073113 said:

BelhurstBride said:

Why is it "very important information?"2

My daughter is 11 weeks old yesterday. I want to know what schedule/routine my daughter is getting into. I am an involved Mother, I guess.
I would find it weird if a parent did NOT request this information.

Are you insinuating that I'm uninvolved because I think it's silly to micromanage a child's care?

ProudMommyER073113 · October 2013

ProudMommyER073113 said:

BelhurstBride said:

Why is it "very important information?"2

My daughter is 11 weeks old yesterday. I want to know what schedule/routine my daughter is getting into. I am an involved Mother, I guess.
I would find it weird if a parent did NOT request this information.

Are you insinuating that I'm uninvolved because I think it's silly to micromanage a child's care?

LOL. I am insinuating that this information may be "important" to some, and not so much to others. Clearly, not so important to you. Something that you may find important I may find not important. We are different people with different parenting techniques.
So, let's take it down a knotch. Didn't mean to bunch up panties

raffsen · October 2013

I have been an infant teacher for 10+ years and I have never worked at a center that doesn't keep track of the basic information about each child's day. This has always included time and amount of feedings, time and description of diapers, and time and duration of naps. On top of that we are also expected to write a small personal note (like a paragraph) about each child's day. I agree, be persistent and don't feel bad about it. This general information can be very helpful for working parents who spend the work week away from their LO helping them see different schedule pattern changes and even the LO's health and well being. It also assures that the parents and the caregivers are on the same page when it comes to your LO care. On a side note...maybe it is only because this is the way I am accustomed to but, I don't know how I would keep track of 8 different babies schedules without having it written down somewhere. The sheets that have all this information is being looked at by my co teacher and I many times throughout the day to know where we are at, because each day is different (ie. little babies usually don't have schedules like they eat at 9, 12, and 3)

vintageutopia · October 2013

I guess I am uninvolved, then. <snort>

I think this may be more about being a first-time parent versus a parent of more than one child. As a first-time parent you want to know everything. As a parent of more than one, you just need the essentials.

ProudMommyER073113 · October 2013

The daycare Emma goes to is an in home day care. She is the only infant there. The other kids range anywhere from like 1 1/2 to 4. So, I really do not think it is a case of just too many babies to keep track of feedings, etc... She is the only one. I would hope that they are paying attention to time of feedings themselves, so I don't see the big deal about writing it down.

Also, I agree that being a FTM has a lot to do with it. I was going to mention that to the previous poster who is NOT a FTM who hijacked my post and made it into a personal attack on themselves, but I would be wasting my breath

BelhurstBride · October 2013

ProudMommyER073113 said:

The daycare Emma goes to is an in home day care. She is the only infant there. The other kids range anywhere from like 1 1/2 to 4. So, I really do not think it is a case of just too many babies to keep track of feedings, etc... She is the only one. I would hope that they are paying attention to time of feedings themselves, so I don't see the big deal about writing it down. Also, I agree that being a FTM has a lot to do with it. I was going to mention that to the previous poster who is NOT a FTM who hijacked my post and made it into a personal attack on themselves, but I would be wasting my breath

Oh you're cute.

You asked a question. I disagreed with you. You didn't like my answer... and I'm the one with my panties in a bunch?

If you can't trust your care providers ability to care for your child you should probably look elsewhere.

And FTR, just because your care provider only has 1 infant doesn't mean she isn't busy. She has at least three young children there. That's freaking busy.

VPGIRL06 · October 2013

ok, coming from someone who worked at a daycare center, with infants as young as 6 weeks and i agree with PP. It would be very difficult to keep track of multiple infants (our ratio was 1:5) without having their schedules written down. We also had pieces of paper that allowed us to track, and we wrote notes when necessary so we could let the parents know how their days were.

THAT BEING SAID, OP since you are at an in-home day care, that most likely isn't their modus operandi. With 3 kids, and one infant, I'm sure the provider doesn't have a procedure of tracking the one child's intake, and perhaps with previous parents they didn't want that information. To each their own. So, like I said earlier, your best bet is probaley coming up with your own sheet for the day care provider to write down the information you want. I would make it as user friendly as possible since it;s really for you, and not something she normally does.

CaliforniaDream87 · October 2013

Nope. This would be a requirement for me as well. I would have a serious talk with them about this.

GibsonGirl620 · October 2013

We use this:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004FN1ACK?vs=1

I used them with DS1 and have started with DS2 now. FWIW, I use it for childcare (my mom is my DCP), but also use it for my own reference at home. All the feedings and naps become a blur at this age (2 wks), so I need to write it down. We stopped recording everything with DS1 when he was about a yr.