UO Thursday

willy_gert · October 2013

MarisaKathleen said:

Another non abortion related UO: Boss's Day. I was just sent an email stating that I owe $3.25 for a gift card "we" all got my boss for boss's day. Really? Not only was this never discussed, I think it's totally stupid and would have opted out if given the choice. I realize it's only $3.25, it's just the principal of the thing. Don't send me an email and tell me I owe you money for something our team never discussed and something that's made up anyway.

I asked everyone if they wanted to do something for bosses day and everyone said yes. I purchased everything and so far one person has offered me money. Its kind of disappointing...

I was mostly disappointed yesterday because I am not "officially" a supervisor yet and so I wasn't recognized at all....

MommaP12 · October 2013

hmp1 said:

FFFC because I won't be around tomorrow. We are going to Chicago tomorrow and DH put together a pile of clothes and asked me to wash it for him today. I didn't wash the jeans with a hole in the knee because I don't want him to pack them.

Whatchya doing in Chicago @hmp1? It's gross weather this weekend - 50s and rainy, boo.

hmp1 · October 2013

Damn it people, help a girl out and give a reminder post of bosses day instead of talking about it the day after. My boss and I work from home and now I feel bad that I didn't send her an ecard since that is what I normally do.

hmp1 · October 2013

MommaP12 said:

hmp1 said:

FFFC because I won't be around tomorrow. We are going to Chicago tomorrow and DH put together a pile of clothes and asked me to wash it for him today. I didn't wash the jeans with a hole in the knee because I don't want him to pack them.

Whatchya doing in Chicago @hmp1? It's gross weather this weekend - 50s and rainy, boo.

Funeral. I was hoping we would have enough time to try and do an impromptu s12 gtg, but we don't.

MommaP12 · October 2013

I'm sorry you have to go to a funeral and in gloomy weather no less. Safe travels and hope you can sneak in one fun thing or try some pizza while you're here. B-)

KellersPrag · October 2013

mands629 said:

KellersPrag said:

LoisLayn23 said:

If I had gotten pregnant at 16 I would've chosen abortion. Because I couldn't care for a kid, because I knew a. theoretical kid needed a better life than I would provide, because my parents wouldn't help me provide and because I didn't want to be a parent. It's selfish and selfless.

mands629 said:

LoisLayn23 said:

If I had gotten pregnant at 16 I would've chosen abortion. Because I couldn't care for a kid, because I knew a. theoretical kid needed a better life than I would provide, because my parents wouldn't help me provide and because I didn't want to be a parent. It's selfish and selfless.

Then why not just give the baby up for adoption? Personally, in this situation, I would call adoption a selfless act and abortion a selfish choice.

I do not understand that mindset at all. A 16 year old going through pregnancy, labor, and delivery can be life ruining and is altogether less safe than an adult going through it.

See, I would argue that a 16 year old having an abortion is just as "life ruining" and "less safe" than an adult going through it. But that's why abortion vs adoption or pro life vs pro choice is a debate. There are always multiple schools of thought on the same issue because there are multiple potential consequences.

Sure, but - mental scarring vs. potentially dying during childbirth? I'm sorry, I know this is why it's a hot button topic, but that's a no brainer to me. (I recognize that this is MY opinion.

)

AprilLudgate · October 2013

I really don't like the value judgments from people who claim to be pro-choice. It feels really icky, especially when discussing anyone under 18 getting an abortion.

MarisaKathleen · October 2013

Another UO: I don't think it's a big deal to give a kid a piece of candy for Halloween. I also find it totally weird when people go bananas over it and freak out about how their kid only eats fruits and nuts. If my Mom wouldn't have let me eat any candy, I think I would have found ToTing completely stupid.

LuvSD · October 2013

My DH and I would LOVE to adopt someday. I only wish it wasn't so expensive. We have so much love to give a child but it makes me sad to think that we may not be able to adopt someday because of financial reasons.

willy_gert · October 2013

LuvSD said:

My DH and I would LOVE to adopt someday. I only wish it wasn't so expensive. We have so much love to give a child but it makes me sad to think that we may not be able to adopt someday because of financial reasons.

Adopt from the foster care system. It is free and there are more than enough children waiting for a forever home.

hmp1 · October 2013

MarisaKathleen said:

Another UO: I don't think it's a big deal to give a kid a piece of candy for Halloween. I also find it totally weird when people go bananas over it and freak out about how their kid only eats fruits and nuts. If my Mom wouldn't have let me eat any candy, I think I would have found ToTing completely stupid.

I think the board was pretty equally split about it. I can totally understand the no candy for a one year old, I am also one to think a one year old shouldn't be TOTing. We didn't take James ToT at this age and didn't give him candy. On the flip side, I am pretty certain Leo will try some candy. He is very aware of what James is doing and while I limit sugar in everyday food, giving him a bite when James gets a piece of candy isn't going to hurt anything either. I give Leo a few bites when we go out for frozen yogurt, I don't see it any different. If our household had a problem with healthy eating habits, or the kids did, I might rethink this. But we don't, so we allow treats on occasion.

Pokedot · October 2013

I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with the 40 days to life campaign that one of our local catholic churches is doing. It is nationwide. It's right on the main highway through town. We're small up here so less than 15,000 people. Anyway, it's a campaign to end all abortion. I am personally pro choice because I believe every situation is different. I've driven by this a couple of times a week and each time there are young kids and adults out there with signs about ending abortion, abortion=death that type of thing. I can't help but wonder for those kids, especially the girls. What if they are faced with that choice some day? Will they choose one option over the other because of this campaign? Will those young girls feel they can't make a certain choice because of what their religion believes but not their own beliefs? I just find it interesting.

BarefootContessa · October 2013

hmp1 said:

I think the board was pretty equally split about it. I can totally understand the no candy for a one year old, I am also one to think a one year old shouldn't be TOTing. We didn't take James ToT at this age and didn't give him candy. On the flip side, I am pretty certain Leo will try some candy. He is very aware of what James is doing and while I limit sugar in everyday food, giving him a bite when James gets a piece of candy isn't going to hurt anything either. I give Leo a few bites when we go out for frozen yogurt, I don't see it any different. If our household had a problem with healthy eating habits, or the kids did, I might rethink this. But we don't, so we allow treats on occasion.

This made me remember something from when we were vacationing in Western Mass in August. I took LO out with me and got ice cream. I got my own ice cream and some kiwi sorbet (he was still dairy intolerant) for him to try. People stared at me like I was letting him snort pixie sticks! I only gave him three tiny bites. Sugar isn't that big of deal as long as it is an occasional treat, not a daily dietary supplement.

Pokedot · October 2013

MarisaKathleen said:

Another non abortion related UO: Boss's Day. I was just sent an email stating that I owe $3.25 for a gift card "we" all got my boss for boss's day. Really? Not only was this never discussed, I think it's totally stupid and would have opted out if given the choice. I realize it's only $3.25, it's just the principal of the thing. Don't send me an email and tell me I owe you money for something our team never discussed and something that's made up anyway.

Regardless of amount, it shouldn't be assumed you are pitching in! That's stupid! I gave my boss a chocolate chip cookie from a local bakery and a nice heartfelt card. Total cost $2! I'm also in a bind because it was her birthday at the beginning of the month and I purchased everything for it. There is only 3 of us in the office so my other colleague and I split the bill, except he still hasn't paid me. Granted it's $15 but when I owe him he's all up in my business even if it's one day!

melody921 · October 2013

Holly_1007 said:

Flamingemu said:

I don't like the look of brown boots with black tights or black outfits.
@flamingemu - you beat me too it!! I was just thinking this yesterday when I saw at least 5 people at work wearing them. Apparently it's in right now? But I'm not a fan.
------------- I do this a lot. Not because I'm trendy. Im actually not very trendy at all. Someone gifted me brown uggs and all my tights & leggings are black. I do have black mid-calf boots I can wear with them but they are more difficult to put on while juggling 2 toddlers and the black on black is harsh for me sometimes.

I actually don't mind the brown boots, black leggings look.

LuvSD · October 2013

My office is by a Planned Parenthood and every single Wednesday there are anti-abortion protestors stacked out by the parking lot. 90% of them are elderly men. The thought of them having an impact on abortion options for young women really bothers me. Every time I drive by I want to say "you are old men who will never be in that kind of a situation. Shut up and take your lawn chairs and posters home."

MarisaKathleen · October 2013

hmp1 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

Another UO: I don't think it's a big deal to give a kid a piece of candy for Halloween. I also find it totally weird when people go bananas over it and freak out about how their kid only eats fruits and nuts. If my Mom wouldn't have let me eat any candy, I think I would have found ToTing completely stupid.

I think the board was pretty equally split about it. I can totally understand the no candy for a one year old, I am also one to think a one year old shouldn't be TOTing. We didn't take James ToT at this age and didn't give him candy. On the flip side, I am pretty certain Leo will try some candy. He is very aware of what James is doing and while I limit sugar in everyday food, giving him a bite when James gets a piece of candy isn't going to hurt anything either. I give Leo a few bites when we go out for frozen yogurt, I don't see it any different. If our household had a problem with healthy eating habits, or the kids did, I might rethink this. But we don't, so we allow treats on occasion.

I'm with you @hmp1. I don't see the point of taking N ToTing at this age. She has no idea what the deal is and really, she just wants to run around outside. She doesn't care what she's wearing.

If everyone would just admit that at this age, Halloween, ToT and everything is really just for the adults I think I'd feel better about it--and I'm not talking about just TB. Really for the next few years I doubt Nancy is going to get excited about it because she's a toddler and won't totally understand it. By 3-4 I think they really "get" it and will start enjoying it on their own.

melody921 · October 2013

jocymama said:

I was just reminded of my UO by a co-worker. I don't think it's right to spend your children's birthday money on stuff for yourself.

I agree. Although, I admit that one time the kids had GAP gift cards, and I couldn't find anything I wanted for them there for that season, but there was stuff I wanted for me. So I used the gc and put the equivalent amount of cash into their accounts.

LuvSD · October 2013

I hate Halloween.

melody921 · October 2013

jessk86 said:

I think french tip pedicures are gross.

YES, Thank you for saying this! Who the hell wants to look like they have long toenails?

LuvSD · October 2013

willy_gert said:

LuvSD said:

My DH and I would LOVE to adopt someday. I only wish it wasn't so expensive. We have so much love to give a child but it makes me sad to think that we may not be able to adopt someday because of financial reasons.

Adopt from the foster care system. It is free and there are more than enough children waiting for a forever home.

I didn't know that was a free option. We obviously aren't at the super serious/research stage yet, but that is awesome to know. Thanks! Ideally, we would like to adopt internationally but knowing this is an alternative option is great!

LuvSD · October 2013

IndigoVader said:

LuvSD said:

I hate Halloween.

:-O
NOOOO!! I can not accept this.
%-(

Sorry. I think it stems from my childhood. My mom entered me into a Halloween costume contest when I was young. I had this ridiculous Donald Duck costume. I was a super shy kid and won the contest and all of the attention was horrendous, thus now hating Halloween.

melody921 · October 2013

I find a lot of TB badges really stupid. There are also too many of them. I'm looking at you "Epidural? EFF that."

AprilLudgate · October 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

I really don't like the value judgments from people who claim to be pro-choice. It feels really icky, especially when discussing anyone under 18 getting an abortion.
Can you be more specific?

Sorry, I was headed to a meeting when I posted that. Some of the "abortion is selfish" comments sounded like people were deciding what were and were not appropriate reasons for having an abortion, and that those people with "selfish" reasons should carry a pregnancy to term to give up the baby for adoption. It rubs me the wrong way, especially when discussing teen girls.

kelbel527 · October 2013

MarisaKathleen said:

If my Mom wouldn't have let me eat any candy, I think I would have found ToTing completely stupid.

Not at a preschool age. DS1 thought "TOTing" was awesome when he was 2. He walked around dressed up as Spiderman, visited a couple houses and then spent the rest of the night handing out candy to other kids. Do you know many pieces of candy he consumed that year? Zero. At 3, he was allowed one piece of candy, but went TOTing with his friends and thought it was great.

I'll agree that it doesn't work for older kids though.

jbBeans · October 2013

Pokedot said:
I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with the 40 days to life campaign that one of our local catholic churches is doing. It is nationwide. It's right on the main highway through town. We're small up here so less than 15,000 people. Anyway, it's a campaign to end all abortion. I am personally pro choice because I believe every situation is different. I've driven by this a couple of times a week and each time there are young kids and adults out there with signs about ending abortion, abortion=death that type of thing. I can't help but wonder for those kids, especially the girls. What if they are faced with that choice some day? Will they choose one option over the other because of this campaign? Will those young girls feel they can't make a certain choice because of what their religion believes but not their own beliefs? I just find it interesting.

I was one of those teenage girls. In my case, being generally against abortion gave me a very serious respect for sex. Knowing that abortion wasn't an option I'd want, I didn't have sex... Until I met MH and knew I was going to marry him.

My feelings have evolved a bit since then, though I still consider myself pro-life (im not black and white about it though--I do think there are grey areas). I would never judge someone for having an abortion. I wish for things like greater sex-education and a focus on not outright abstinence, but emphasizing that sex is a pretty big deal and shouldn't be taken lightly.

mrsbhk22 · October 2013

Late to the game, but here's what I have: Brown and black can look ok if there is enough contrast.

DD will go with the boys TOTing, but will likely just walk around or hang in the stroller. I see no issue with a few bites of candy (moderation FTW). Each year our kids get to keep a small potion of their candy and the rest we donate to a local dentist who sends it overseas to the troops. Both DS are old enough to understand this concept. Honestly, in the past, we'd forget about the candy in the top of the fridge after a few days and throw it out 9 months later anyway.

I don't want to get too far into the abortion discussion. Just going to make the point that unless you've been a pregnant teenager, it's hard to know 100% definitively what you'd do. Much like the TTC discussion earlier in the thread - unless you've been there, I don't see how you can really "know" what you'd do (disclaimer: I wasn't ever a pregnant teenager, so I'm not speaking from experience).

Hyaline · October 2013

jbBeans said:

I was one of those teenage girls. In my case, being generally against abortion gave me a very serious respect for sex. Knowing that abortion wasn't an option I'd want, I didn't have sex... Until I met MH and knew I was going to marry him. My feelings have evolved a bit since then, though I still consider myself pro-life (im not black and white about it though--I do think there are grey areas). I would never judge someone for having an abortion. I wish for things like greater sex-education and a focus on not outright abstinence, but emphasizing that sex is a pretty big deal and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Exactly. In my perfect world (ha) abortion wouldn't exist. Not because it had been outlawed, but because between a respect sex and its outcomes, low-cost and widely available birth control, and support for women who did find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy (and no stigma) there would be nothing compelling a woman to get an abortion.

Responding to others in the thread...I also think it's fair game to say "I would" or "I wouldn't" even if you haven't been in a situation. People are allowed to have convictions that aren't tested. I'm fairly sure I would not, for instance, take a car that was left idling in front of me, unlocked, even if I magically knew it couldn't be traced. I have never been in this situation, but I know I think it would be wrong, and so I would not do it. Random example.

Pokedot · October 2013

jbBeans said:

I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with the 40 days to life campaign that one of our local catholic churches is doing. It is nationwide. It's right on the main highway through town. We're small up here so less than 15,000 people. Anyway, it's a campaign to end all abortion. I am personally pro choice because I believe every situation is different. I've driven by this a couple of times a week and each time there are young kids and adults out there with signs about ending abortion, abortion=death that type of thing. I can't help but wonder for those kids, especially the girls. What if they are faced with that choice some day? Will they choose one option over the other because of this campaign? Will those young girls feel they can't make a certain choice because of what their religion believes but not their own beliefs? I just find it interesting.
I was one of those teenage girls. In my case, being generally against abortion gave me a very serious respect for sex. Knowing that abortion wasn't an option I'd want, I didn't have sex... Until I met MH and knew I was going to marry him. My feelings have evolved a bit since then, though I still consider myself pro-life (im not black and white about it though--I do think there are grey areas). I would never judge someone for having an abortion. I wish for things like greater sex-education and a focus on not outright abstinence, but emphasizing that sex is a pretty big deal and shouldn't be taken lightly.

@jbBeans so glad someone knew what I was talking about! I just know that that age is so influential I'd hate to have a girl make the decision based on her church population vs. her own beliefs if they were not the same! I'm glad you could tell me your side! Thank you!

hmp1 · October 2013

AprilLudgate said:

LoisLayn23 said:

I really don't like the value judgments from people who claim to be pro-choice. It feels really icky, especially when discussing anyone under 18 getting an abortion.
Can you be more specific?

Sorry, I was headed to a meeting when I posted that. Some of the "abortion is selfish" comments sounded like people were deciding what were and were not appropriate reasons for having an abortion, and that those people with "selfish" reasons should carry a pregnancy to term to give up the baby for adoption. It rubs me the wrong way, especially when discussing teen girls.

Not sure if I am included in this grouping, but I think I am since I said I stated being pro choice and then questioned LL about the adoption. I wasn't saying someone should carry to term and give up the baby for adoption. In the course of the entire discussion starting with adoption not being presented enough as an option in entertainment (tv/movies) or media and ending with LL giving reasons for herself as a teen, why wouldn't adoption be the choice if you took out the "selfish" reason of not wanting to be pregnant. Therefore making abortion not totally selfless. And there is nothing wrong with that!

Like I said, I would never call abortion selfish because I think that term takes on a negative tone. I don't see anything wrong with ending an unwanted pregnancy for the one reason that you do not want to be pregnant. There are always times in life that it is better to do what it right for you and not take others into consideration, and this is one of those for me. So even if someone calls abortion "selfish", it doesn't change the fact that it is the right decision for plenty of women.

MarisaKathleen · October 2013

cheeseandrice said:

cheeseandrice said:

Abortion is a fantastically noble and selfless decision. It needs to be viewed as that.

ugh, I guess my majorly UO is that I totally disagree.
Uhh that was supposed to say adoption. Major typo.

this is now my favorite part of today's UO. Talk about a typo!

hmp1 · October 2013

cheeseandrice said:

cheeseandrice said:

Abortion is a fantastically noble and selfless decision. It needs to be viewed as that.

ugh, I guess my majorly UO is that I totally disagree.
Uhh that was supposed to say adoption. Major typo.

Lol! I love that it was defended by others anyways.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

@hyaline I think your comparison is apples to oranges. Also, I do think you can't say what you'd do until you've BTDT.

KellersPrag · October 2013

Hyaline said:

jbBeans said:

I was one of those teenage girls. In my case, being generally against abortion gave me a very serious respect for sex. Knowing that abortion wasn't an option I'd want, I didn't have sex... Until I met MH and knew I was going to marry him. My feelings have evolved a bit since then, though I still consider myself pro-life (im not black and white about it though--I do think there are grey areas). I would never judge someone for having an abortion. I wish for things like greater sex-education and a focus on not outright abstinence, but emphasizing that sex is a pretty big deal and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Exactly. In my perfect world (ha) abortion wouldn't exist. Not because it had been outlawed, but because between a respect sex and its outcomes, low-cost and widely available birth control, and support for women who did find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy (and no stigma) there would be nothing compelling a woman to get an abortion.

Responding to others in the thread...I also think it's fair game to say "I would" or "I wouldn't" even if you haven't been in a situation. People are allowed to have convictions that aren't tested. I'm fairly sure I would not, for instance, take a car that was left idling in front of me, unlocked, even if I magically knew it couldn't be traced. I have never been in this situation, but I know I think it would be wrong, and so I would not do it. Random example.

I get what you are saying, but in relation to what conversations happened earlier, I think that this is totally different.

Not taking a car illegally, even if you can't be traced vs. knowing that you would be okay never being a birth parent? Apples to oranges.

KellersPrag · October 2013

@Bettyandco I should read posts before I respond.

hmp1 · October 2013

I think some people are very black and white with abortion and even if they are never in that position, I believe their stance. I know people that would never get an abortion and people that would have absolutely had an abortion had they gotten pregnant young. I think to say you don't know until you are put in that position is not true for everyone.

melody921 · October 2013

cheeseandrice said:

That's what I get for popping in quick on my phone. I do agree with all the points LL made too FYI. There are some exceptions I'm sure, but I don't think abortion is selfish either. But my original point was that I can't imagine carrying a child to term, going through the physical and emotional process of child birth... and then having nothing to show for it. I feel like there's a stigma to adoption too. hell, we say 'gave up' for adoption.

I've heard a lot of people use the phrase "placed for adoption," probably to minimize that very stigma. Agree with you that it would be a very difficult decision for someone at any age to carry a child, birth a child then hand that child over to give him/her a chance at a better life.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

I'm just gonna exit stage left on the abortion talk.

hmp1 · October 2013

MiraskTastic said:

Here's another UO: I don't think sex is a big deal and needs to be taken seriously. I think it's ok to be casual (while safe) about sex.
I would tend to agree depending on the people engaging in the sex. There's a huge difference between casual sex at 15 and at 25 IMO.

Yeah, I feel like teens are more likely to be casual about sex because of peer pressure or the need to please and an older woman is more likely to be casual about sex because she enjoys it.

And as someone dealing with abnormal cells due to HPV, casual sex is not something I take as lightly now. Something like 80% of all sexually active people have HPV at some point, many not even knowing it. :insert my PSA about HPV vaccination:

hmp1 · October 2013

Condoms do not protect against HPV, and condoms break. The HPV vac rate is still very low. I just looked it up and only about 1/3 of girls are getting the full vaccine and only 21% of males are getting even one dose (need 3 to be fully vaccinated).

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