You're going to poop on the table

douglamj · October 2013

Man I love this thread!

MegJ17 · October 2013

I agree with modesty going out the window. There were so many people checking me out I asked the cleaning guy if he wanted to check too.

katieharpiceland · October 2013

Speaking of the cleaning guy, totally unrelated, but i had an abscessed cyst on my tailbone and it had to be removed. I was in a teaching hospital, so many interns came to look at, well, my ass. Then, they gave me a big shot of pain medicine because they couldn't operate for awhile, and suddenly I hear my mom "are you supposed to be here???" Two janitors (they had cleaning supplies) came in and thought they would try and have a look as well. Weird!!!! Hoping to avoid this with childbirth.

Mamaengen · October 2013

thomas930 said:
Pooping during birth is so common and normal that its really NBD and while I know I did it, I didn't even notice at the time. My DH wont even confirm if it happened (which means that it did) because he doesn't want me to be embarrassed (even though I don't care).

Also, I've heard,( can't say for sure since I haven't had an epi) some women who get the epi end up passing a lot of gas because they can't control it on the way out....I'd probably laugh that one off too.

That is def true about the gas!

Mamaengen · October 2013

Make sure they remember to empty your bladder before having you push bc it slipped their minds for me and I showered the nurse in pee.

oops...

Sisimama10 · October 2013

Mamaengen said:
Make sure they remember to empty your bladder before having you push bc it slipped their minds for me and I showered the nurse in pee. oops...

I had a catheter!

mkrik129 · October 2013

Oh yeah, I pooped on the table. And for some odd reason that morning I went into labor I decided to eat a McDonald's bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit meal for breakfast for the first time in oh, maybe 8 years. Do yourself a favor and avoid McD's if at all possible for at least two wks before your due date. That whole experience however, was less embarrassing than all the vagina farts I let out while the nurse was massaging my ute back down...which, btw was extremely painful for me. Thank god my Mom was there to crack up with me and lighten the mood a bit or I may have just cried.

BeeBee08 · October 2013

kbuckleyharp said:
Speaking of the cleaning guy, totally unrelated, but i had an abscessed cyst on my tailbone and it had to be removed. I was in a teaching hospital, so many interns came to look at, well, my ass. Then, they gave me a big shot of pain medicine because they couldn't operate for awhile, and suddenly I hear my mom "are you supposed to be here???" Two janitors (they had cleaning supplies) came in and thought they would try and have a look as well. Weird!!!! Hoping to avoid this with childbirth.

No.way. That is horrible, what weirdos! I hope you avoid that during labor too...although seeing that might teach those buggers a lesson!

Rrrrrachel · October 2013

Oh yes!! I remember hitting my belly and watching it jiggle!

Sisimama10 · October 2013

jellysparkles said:

Sisimama10 said:

Mamaengen said:
Make sure they remember to empty your bladder before having you push bc it slipped their minds for me and I showered the nurse in pee. oops...
I had a catheter!

Me too... I'm so glad I did. Between that and my epi, it was the best couple of hours of rest (before they made me push) I'd had for months... and for several months after that, as well. Ha.

I know right! I wish I could have a catheter every night at bed time!! Lmao teasing of course, but seriously I'm getting up to pee 4-5 times a night. It's so annoying. (I had kidney stones really bad with DD, so doctors have me drinking 100+ oz of water a day so I pretty much just pee all day long- hence my catheter longings. )

MegJ17 · October 2013

Sisimama10 said:

jellysparkles said:

Sisimama10 said:

Mamaengen said:
Make sure they remember to empty your bladder before having you push bc it slipped their minds for me and I showered the nurse in pee. oops...
I had a catheter!

Me too... I'm so glad I did. Between that and my epi, it was the best couple of hours of rest (before they made me push) I'd had for months... and for several months after that, as well. Ha.

I know right! I wish I could have a catheter every night at bed time!! Lmao teasing of course, but seriously I'm getting up to pee 4-5 times a night. It's so annoying. (I had kidney stones really bad with DD, so doctors have me drinking 100+ oz of water a day so I pretty much just pee all day long- hence my catheter longings. )

I work for a company that makes hospital products and I was complaining how far the bathroom was and my boss told me that he would just find me a catheter.

Mamaengen · October 2013

jellysparkles said:

Sisimama10 said:

Mamaengen said:
Make sure they remember to empty your bladder before having you push bc it slipped their minds for me and I showered the nurse in pee. oops...
I had a catheter!

Me too... I'm so glad I did. Between that and my epi, it was the best couple of hours of rest (before they made me push) I'd had for months... and for several months after that, as well. Ha.

They did put a catheter in after that, but needless to say, my bladder was empty. Lol. I didn't realize it wasn't my water breaking when that happened though so I wasn't as embarrassed as I could've been.

Ditto on the rest!!! I slept from 2 or 3 cm to push time! It was glorious!!!

irisheyez7 · October 2013

I am opting for rainbows. Definitely rainbows ;-)

Surromom2014 · October 2013

My first baby...I pooped. But only because if the epidural and ummm oh yea my water broke after a night out at Outback Steakhouse.

Medic99 · October 2013

I never pooped on the table. It does happen but not to everyone. The Drs are really good about it and don't make a big deal of it. Some moms who pooped never even knew it unless their SO said something. No one will be in there with a loud speaker announcing it

. It really is a beautiful thing even with all the bodily fluids involved.

DemoDoll · October 2013

FTM's just remember everyone has such a different experience. They broke my water and I barely felt it, plus I was induced for low fluids so barely anything came out. I don't know why but it surprised me that the water was so warm coming out.

I did get a puffy vag but it doesn't hurt that it's puffy. I never got to the point of pushing so I didn't poop on the table.

The only true thing that really surprised me was during my c-section, I felt the whole thing. They warn you that you won't feel pain but that you will feel pressure. But it's more than just pressure, you can tell that they are flipping your skin up, moving your insides around, etc. It obviously doesn't hurt, it's just a major mind fluck.

patunia7321 · October 2013

Oh for the love of god. Well, for now I'm sticking with rainbows. DH is required to stay at my chest level, and I want nothing to do with any mirrors.

hlm184 · October 2013

jellysparkles said:

Yeah I pooped. I was aware of it but didn't care. I think I was in transition at that point and wouldn't have cared if the doctor himself pooped in the middle of the room. I think the oddest thing for me is in the first 12 hrs or so when your tummy is so empty. I know all you FTMs think you're squishy now.... you aren't. But the baby comes out and of course your skin is so stretched and your intestines are rocking it out somewhere around your tonsils and until all your organs fall back down there is this strange vortex of hollow squish.
Oof, yes. Not to mention the ute pushers using your disassembled squish as a punching bag.

Out of everything in this thread, this is what made me gag. Ick! My poor tummy! Hahaha!

Rrrrrachel · October 2013

Yah the uterine massage sucks. And right when you think it's all over.

thomas930 · October 2013

Did anyone else get to experience their midwife or doctor going elbow deep into their uterus because of the placenta was coming out in pieces? yeah that sucked big time!

sweetmelissa0707 · October 2013

thomas930 said:
Did anyone else get to experience their midwife or doctor going elbow deep into their uterus because of the placenta was coming out in pieces? yeah that sucked big time!

Yup. The relief of not having a baby in there was very short lived. They just reach right up there, like it's nothing. They could at least be a little gentle about it.

bingbongsmama · October 2013

My C/S kinds seems easy after reading this

Want a personalized experience?

You're going to poop on the table

Re: You're going to poop on the table

Choose Another Board

Search Boards