I teach 6th graders (which isn't as obnoxious as it sounds). They are actually quite sweet and sensitive at this age. This week alone I have had 2 criers - one boy and one girl. So that leads me to my question....
When I have a student who is upset and crying, my instinct as a teacher, human being and mother now is to comfort them. I put my hand on their shoulder and/or give them a hug. "Technically", I'm not supposed to be doing this since, who knows, I could be some sort of deviant. As a parent, would my actions upset you or would you feel glad that your son or daughter was being consoled? Personally, I would want DS's teachers to react as I do, but it got me interested in other people's thoughts.
Re: Teacher Question/Parent Opinions Wanted
And I guess that would be what I would want for Jackson. If he grows to be a super sensitive boy who needs that kind of reassurance, I hope he gets it at school. If he turns out to be someone who wants his space when he's upset, I hope he gets that. I don't think you're doing anything deviant by any means! I think that's why so many kiddos slip up and call us 'Mom' half the time!!
)
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
It's scary, isn't it? I had a rule for a long time that my cheerleaders were not allowed to hug me (they are big huggers) because the professors in my credential program made me so scared of litigation and firings based on perceived inappropriate contact. But they always come and hug me out of nowhere so I got over it (sort of....).
I think a hand on the shoulder is harmless (even though I know it is against the "rules"). I agree that you can suss out which kids need a hug more and which kids are likely to turn it to their advantage. At 11 they aren't nearly as crafty as they think they are. :-) I'd like to think my kids' teacher cared about them and that they knew it.
However, my answer would be different for a male teacher. That's probably not politically correct, but that's just how I feel. A hand on the shoulder or holding the child's hand would be fine, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a male teacher initiating a hug. Just too many stories out there....
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
I don't know from a parent perspective of older kids, but I wouldn't care with my littles. As a teacher, I said "screw this" to that "rule" long ago. I hug all over my students. I've taught 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. Before they leave every single day I offer a hug or high five. I had very few that chose high five. Yours might be the only hug they get that day. Some have even gotten forehead kisses on a really rough day. Our society's litigation issues are so stupid. Just like I want that teacher to take a bullet for my kid if they need to, I also want them to love on my kid and to discipline my kid. They are in your care for 8 hours a day!
I hear you @Karla CS.
6th grade is a different breed of cat in our district. They are coming from several elementary schools to a new, big school. They are switching classes for the first time, have lockers for the first time, and it's quite a big change for an 11 year old.
Part of the emphasis of our teaching team is to get them to be more independent by the end of the year, but in the fall, they still need a lot of hand-holding.