Furbabies

Elreid · October 2013

Please don't judge, I know I sound so mean. We have a small house, and because we have a dog we cant rent anything very nice.We have a rather large black lab, golden retriever mix and I am so tired of waking up in dog hair, washing my clothes in it and eating it every day. I love my dog, but this is all overwhelming and I don't think that I can handle her and a newborn baby. My SO got the dog before we started dating a couple years ago and I honestly can't stand all of her scratching, dirt and hair everywhere. It is to the point where she will wake me up multiple times in the middle of the night and we all know that any sleep we can get is like gold, so she is not helping any. She has fleas, but we are in the process of getting rid of them. My SO works and I stay home, so he expects me to do all of her feeding, walks and grooming. He only has to worry about the fun stuff and I simply don't want to take care of his dog and our baby once he gets here. Plus, a lot of problems with our house would be solved if we got rid of her.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am really tired of all of the problems that she has caused us. Anyone else in the same boat?

justmepreggo2020 · October 2013

Have you guys talked about this already or is it just a thought you've been pondering on?

Elreid · October 2013

Its been a thought mostly...We have talked about it before we moved in together, but he never made it seem like such a big deal back then. Now that I see how much he loves her I think that it will be made into an even bigger deal. I think I am going to talk to him about it tomorrow night, but I just wanted to see what you guys thought about the situation and if you had any advice on how to go about it the right way...I dont want to offend him and make it seem like I dont care, but I really think that the situation needs to be addressed.

aeterhune · October 2013

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am in the exact same situation. We are putting in a fence that leads to our garage and the dogs (German Shepard and beagle) are moving outside. I will say though that dh is seriously dragging his feet on this.

Elreid · October 2013

CFox815 said:

That does sound harsh. None of the reasons you listed are the fault of the dog. They all classify as "responsibilities that come with owning a dog." It drives me crazy when people get rid of their animals because they don't like the upkeep that comes along with owning a pet. Maybe you should talk to your husband about reallocating the dog responsibilities before you give up an innocent animal that depends on you.

I understand that she depends on us. I also believe that if we can not take proper care of her and pay enough attention to her then we should get rid of her and give her to a loving family that can. My SO and I are very busy right now with him starting his business, the new baby and also possibly moving and the dog does not help any of that and we simply don't have the time for her. She never gets to go out and run or play because she will take off after every animal she sees, so she gets put on a leash every time and I just don't think that she is a good fit for our new family. The responsibilities of having a dog are not the problem. The shedding, dirt, scratching, and waking me up are the problems. They just don't seem to bother my SO as much as they bother me. I understand that it is not her "fault" but we also have to think about our family. They are more important right now.

Elreid · October 2013

aeterhune said:

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am in the exact same situation. We are putting in a fence that leads to our garage and the dogs (German Shepard and beagle) are moving outside. I will say though that dh is seriously dragging his feet on this.

This would all be fixed if our landlord would let us put in a fence, but we cant. We live in such a small town, so finding a place to rent is hard, but finding a place to rent that will accept a dog is just a PITA.

@J0509 There are more factors that go into owning a dog than just the responsibilities of taking care of her. I do like the dog and when we do go out and play with her we have a lot of fun. I just dont think that when my SO got her that he planned on having a family this soon, so now we need to re-evaluate our situation.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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record2bexoxo · October 2013

My Doberman was raised on a farm, DH owned him before we got together. He's 5 and I've been his mama for 2 years.

We have since moved and our dobe no longer has the luxury of being able to run free on the farm and take care of his business. He has to be walked on a leash.

I have to walk him at least a mile a day to give him the exercise his body craves. Wash him feed him and vaccume and lint roll and wash everything in the house more than most because he sheds.

Most of this is all on me since DH usually works out of town for weeks at a time until recently.

It's hard work but I can't imagine giving him up he's my baby and he would be so sad and depressed and lost without us. I honestly think he would die of a broken heart if we just have him up.

Think about what your poor dog would feel if he never came home. You guys are home and all he knows.

This is so depressing to me

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · October 2013

This kind of stuff makes me irate. I have a Golden Retriever so I completely understand how much they shed (hell, I just looked down at my shirt and it's covered in fur from our morning hugs and kisses routine). That said, I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (did I mention ever?) give him away. He is just as much a member of this family as I am or DH or DS. Do I get tired of vacuuming everyday? Yes. Do I get a little frustrated when he wakes me up at 3 begging to go out when I know he's perfectly capable of holding it? Absolutely. But every little thing I do for him is all worth it for all the things he does for me. I can't imagine my life without him and don't really remember what life was like before him.

Get DH to help more. Get in a routine for washing things and vacuuming. (I wash blankets Monday, rugs Tuesday etc.) Invest in a Furminator brush. They're a little pricey but worth every penny. Establish a routine of light grooming everyday. Take the dog for a walk everyday (I suggest taking walks with the stroller before LO gets here so they get used to the idea - yes, you will get funny looks at an empty stroller but it does help). Make it work. It just takes a little effort. And remember, babies sleep a lot at first so when the baby is sleeping you can be doing things with your dog to tire them out and take care of them.

Princess_Lily · October 2013

Its my belief that once you own an animal, whether a gerbil or dog...once you take that animal in, it is yours for the lifetime of the pet. One should never hand over responsibility to someone else (adoption, etc.) of a pet. You can't control if that other person/family will then decide to take him/her to a shelter because they can't handle something that the dog does. Yes, there are great stories of positive adoptions, but there are also animals that don't have "happy endings" and they all start out the same - one owner that decided because of a move, a baby, etc. they couldn't handle the pet anymore.

Is it harder with a newborn and a dog? Of course it is, to me animals are like little children. They can handle themselves at home alone, but they need daily care. They are part of the family, not a commodity.

Shedding? Get the dog a nice, short clipping at the groomer.

Fleas? What monthly treatment do you give him/her, if none, use frontline.

Take the collar off at night, and allow yourself to not wake to noises. Is the dog on the bed with the two of you? He needs to sleep on the floor, in a comfy bed, so you don't get fleas/dog hair in the bed.

Princess_Lily · October 2013

Oh, and I don't know about any other dog owners here...

Sometimes, I do feel like I want to give up my dog or cat, whoever pissed me off with something they are doing/did. On those bad days I pick up my phone to my family and say, "Free (Cat/Dog), to a good home." Their response? Laughter and then a response, "What did X do today?"

Sometimes they piss me off, its true, but I don't want REALLY want to send them away - I just need a break from some behavior they are exhibiting, but the difference is animal behavior problems usually stem from our own fault in the first place, like not enough of a walk, no playtime, not enough litter change out... the rest is medical.

VegasGal1978 · October 2013

The shedding, scratching and waking you up all seem like poor excuses to get rid of a dog. When you decided to make a life with your SO, the dog was part of the deal. You shouldn't just expect him to say "fine, lets get rid of the dog". I think that maybe you need to train the dog better. Train her not to run after animals off leash so that family time out is more enjoyable for everyone. If you don't like waking up in fur, make your room a pet-free zone. I love my dog and two cats, but they don't sleep with DH and me. Have your SO brush her more often. that will help minimize the fur around the house. Her scratching is likely due to the fleas. Please treat your dog!! If its irritating to you imagine how the dog feels! Your reasons for wanting her out seem very lazy. You and SO can make some adjustments so that your dog is a pleasure and not an obligation. Please don't take this decision lightly and please don't make it while you are pregnant and hormonal. Your dog IS family.

lamo1210 · October 2013

First off hearing someone wants to get rid of their dog bugs me? The animal is not some old dresser to toss. You are interested in finding a new home for your dog.

When I first got my dog I thought about giving up and finding a new home. He was my first pet to take care off and I had just finished chemo treatments so I was still missing a lot of strength. Now it's been 4 years with him and I could not live without this snugglepuggle! Even when he is bad.

Also think about how the dog would react or feel about leaving you. That just depresses me.

dugger116 · October 2013

I understand where you are coming from when you say you feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities, ( shedding, dirt, walking, scratching). When I married my husband he came with a black lab, Maddie. She sheds EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! and she goes outside a bijillion times a day and tracks in dirt that I have to sweep up or vacuum, and she also likes to jump up on people, therefore scratching them. I'm a SAHW so I have to take care of her...feeding, walking, cleaning, meds, etc........because she is a part of MY family now and you don't just get rid of family cause they are too much of a burden. My husband loves Maddie, and I love my husband. Done deal.

That being said, here are some tips on how I deal with Maddie to make my life easier and maybe they might help you.

when she goes outside I keep a small towel with me and before we head back inside I wipe off her paws so she doesn't track a whole lot of dirt in the house.
We give her a bath every other week with a deshedding shampoo and use a brush on her daily (outside) to help take off some of the hair that might have ended up all over the carpet.
We TRAINED her not to jump on people/scratch and she also no longer needs to use the bathroom during the night after crate training.

All of your problems are fixable, they just take a little work on your part. And as for the "my husband gets all the fun stuff".....my husband does to..but Maddie likes me more now cause I take care of her. I feed her, clean her, make sure she stays healthy, walk her, groom her and she loves me all the more for it.

I suggest you have a serious talk with your husband about sharing responsibilities, especially since you will be having a baby soon. The dog is MINOR compared to a baby and yall need to be on the same page.

Elreid · October 2013

I understand why everyone gets stabby about these kinds of things...she is supposed to be a hunting dog, but the way that she is being treated and trained has not made her that. She is now a big dog in a little house. We actually have a family that would be willing to take her. They have 3 other lab hunting dogs with a fenced in back yard and she would have more than just two people around her. I understand that she is a part of our family, but a dog is not as important as a baby....sorry to those who feel that way, but that's just my opinion. We do not have a training facility around here...(I live in a town with 3,000 people) so that would lie all on us. Which is fine, if DH would help too! I talked to my DH about it this morning and he has agreed to take her to a groomer every other week, give her a bath weekly and help more with the other responsibilities...we are totally new at all of this-baby was a surprise and we are just overwhelmed by everything going on right now that the last thing I want to do when I am 8 or 9 months pregnant or recovering for that matter, is chase after a dog who just ran away... Thank you for the tips and not just bashing the post...I brought some of the ideas up and I think they will work

I have no idea where to begin training an animal...What works for you and what do you use as training tools at your house? We have treated her for fleas with the tubes of frontline that the vet gave us.

Elreid · October 2013

questra8 said:
Lazy dog owners piss me off, particularly the ones that just give up. Poor animal. The fact it has fleas tells me that the OP and her DH are not properly caring for the animal. Our two long-haired doxies are part of our family and there's no way I would get rid of them, especially after seeing the sad state they were in when we rescued them. OP and her DH need to grow up.

Obviously we take care of her or else I wouldn't be so annoyed with all the responsibilities. We giver her flea meds that the vet has given us and we have spent a lot of money on taking care of her. Don't give me that bullshit. All animals get fleas, especially when you live in a rural area like we do. We just have to watch for it and we take care of it when we see it becoming a problem! Also, I was not the one who went and bought her, she came with my SO. So it really doesn't bother me to say that I get frustrated with her sometimes.

Elreid · October 2013

melisx33 said:
I love the quote my Dad always said growing up, "there's no such thing as a bad dog (or pet) but a bad owner".

Was this dog trained at all??!! H has had our cat trained from kitten on-he understands no, doesn't jump up on furniture he's not supposed to, doesn't scratch furniture, etc. You can train ANY animal, it just takes a lot of time and effort. H refused to have a pet "take over" his house.

My SO had her before we started dating and he pretty much let her do what she wanted, so no she never had any training...

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · October 2013

Labs and goldens are people-pleasing type of dogs. While training my be difficult (don't know if your dog is more lab or golden but goldens are stubborn) when they learn, they learn well. Just know you are dealing with 2 very intelligent breeds so what works for training at first, may continue to work. Figure out what motivates your dog. Ours is very food motivated. As a puppy he loved carrots. Over time we would just give him a piece of kibble. The key is consistency. You have to work on training every day.

I also recommend picking up some books or searching online about training labs and goldens and also just simply learning about the 2 breeds your dog is.

Elreid · October 2013

questra8 said:

questra8 said:
I'm so sick of the excuse that it was DH's dog first. That doesn't change the fact that you are both the dog's owners. "It's not mine, it's his" doesn't fly when you're married and talking about a living creature in your household. I'm just thankful you are willing to talk about training and dividing responsibilities more evenly. Plus, retrievers make excellent family dogs.
It also doesn't fly when you're living together and having a baby together.

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.

MsCrispy · October 2013

Elreid said:

We do not have a training facility around here...(I live in a town with 3,000 people) so that would lie all on us.

I'm really just hearing a lot of excuses. We didn't attend any classes either, but we still managed to train our dog. He's not perfect, but he's trained enough for our family. Use google, it is your friend, I am a fan of positive reinforcement.

Elreid said:
All animals get fleas, especially when you live in a rural area like we do.

I disagree with this. I live in a city, but we take our dog frequently to our cabin, which is in a high tick area. We use Frontline monthly...before he gets fleas or ticks. They can be prevented, you just have to use the medicine before you have a problem.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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MsCrispy · October 2013

Elreid said:
I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.

Ok, this is the problem, you don't like animals and you have been stuck with it. That is tough and your DH should step up to the plate since it was his choice.

Now, I love dogs, but I agree that at the end of the day, they are not people. However, I am not sure how having a baby is incompatible with having a dog. My children are more important than my dog, but I still have both.

MannaPants · October 2013

MsCrispy said:

Elreid said:

We do not have a training facility around here...(I live in a town with 3,000 people) so that would lie all on us.

I'm really just hearing a lot of excuses. We didn't attend any classes either, but we still managed to train our dog. He's not perfect, but he's trained enough for our family. Use google, it is your friend, I am a fan of positive reinforcement.

Elreid said:
All animals get fleas, especially when you live in a rural area like we do.

I disagree with this. I live in a city, but we take our dog frequently to our cabin, which is in a high tick area. We use Frontline monthly...before he gets fleas or ticks. They can be prevented, you just have to use the medicine before you have a problem.

I agree in general with most of these posts. The dog is a responsibility OP agreed to take on.

However, I disagree with your disagreement about the fleas. I live in a rural area and fleas are SO difficult to prevent. My dogs were both on Comfortis, which worked beautifully for about a year and suddenly stopped working. The vet knew about this problem and said it seems the fleas in an area evolve to become immune to spinosad.
So, we changed to Frontline. Did everything right, flea baths first to get rid of the adults, even picking off any we found with tweezers (difficult task on two 60 lb dogs). Apply the new dose on the exact day we are supposed to. Still have fleas. Not an overwhelming amount, but they aren't gone.
If anyone has any advice on that front, I could use it!

dobrydney · October 2013

We have 3 big dogs that all shed like mad a golden retriever, a husky, and a lab. We brush them a lot, own a lot of lint rollers, keep them off of the beds, cover the couches in sheets etc. during the day so they can be washed and vacuum like crazy people. As far as the fleas, preventative measures like Frontline (whatever brand floats your boat) would go a long way. There are places like doggy daycare that you can take them during the day to tire them out, or a dog park. Maybe find a local teenager that could walk them? I totally get that the dog gets on your nerves, I really do. All three of ours have different personalities and there is one that drives me nuts some days--but all of the things you said come along with owning a dog.

Elreid · October 2013

stlucia_wife said:

Elreid said:

questra8 said:

questra8 said:
I'm so sick of the excuse that it was DH's dog first. That doesn't change the fact that you are both the dog's owners. "It's not mine, it's his" doesn't fly when you're married and talking about a living creature in your household. I'm just thankful you are willing to talk about training and dividing responsibilities more evenly. Plus, retrievers make excellent family dogs.
It also doesn't fly when you're living together and having a baby together.

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.
You knew what you signed up for when you started dating SO.

If DH told me to get rid of my cats his ass would see the door!!! Years later he sees MY cats as OUR cats!!!! He never says they are mine.

Your true colors are now showing and you make me sick. I'll say it again, when LO is hard to deal with are you just going to get rid if him?!

With this attitude it would not shock me. I can hear you now years later saying how LO was not planned and blah blah blah.

First of all, I never once told my SO to get rid of her. I was thinking about talking to him about it, but I never once said he had to get rid of her...and for the record-when LO is hard to deal with I will deal with him. Children and dogs are nothing alike. So that has nothing to do with the dog. And I have had a baby that was not planned and had to place her for adoption because it was a bad situation...(not going into details) but for you to say something like that makes me sick. I would NEVER say that about my own child. I am excited to be a parent and to have the responsibilities that come with it, but like I said before this has nothing to do with a dog.

I understand that some people have different views on pets, and I didn't have pets when I was little, so I actually didn't know what I was signing up for when I started dating him. I didn't realize the amount of money and work and responsibility that went into having just one dog...so again, I don't care what people are thinking about me, I just am trying to fix the problem so we don't have to get rid of her...so instead of judging me as a person, give me a suggestion as to how to better take care of her. Thanks.

katie.725 · October 2013

So this got good....

OP, will you check Craigslist too when your LO becomes too much responsibility? Or will DH have to step up since he did the fertilizing?

Elreid · October 2013

@katie.725 I just explained the reason for me not wanting to hear the bullshit about my baby...read it. It's a touchy subject for me.

katie.725 · October 2013

Elreid said:

@katie.725 I just explained the reason for me not wanting to hear the bullshit about my baby...read it. It's a touchy subject for me.

Just double checking...

Elreid · October 2013

katie.725 said:

Elreid said:

@katie.725 I just explained the reason for me not wanting to hear the bullshit about my baby...read it. It's a touchy subject for me.

Just double checking...
Well I would never say something about my own child, but again...a dog is not a child. It's a dog.

katie.725 · October 2013

@GOBLU1274

Yes I will

Jennybabe0706 · October 2013

This is a huge pet peeve of mine.... I understand where you are coming from, I have a VERY high maintenance dog (we are talking hundreds in medical bills each month for a chronic eye condition, very "fresh" behavior, and most recently we had a little flea issue). HOWEVER... My dog is part of my family and I will gladly pay for his bills to ensure his health, pay for training to help with his behavior issues, and obviously took care of the flea issue. Don't take on the responsibility of a pet if you aren't in it for the long haul. Your baby is going to be a handful as well... You can't give them away!

MannaPants · October 2013

Elreid said:
I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.
You knew what you signed up for when you started dating SO. If DH told me to get rid of my cats his ass would see the door!!! Years later he sees MY cats as OUR cats!!!! He never says they are mine. Your true colors are now showing and you make me sick. I'll say it again, when LO is hard to deal with are you just going to get rid if him?! With this attitude it would not shock me. I can hear you now years later saying how LO was not planned and blah blah blah.
First of all, I never once told my SO to get rid of her. I was thinking about talking to him about it, but I never once said he had to get rid of her...and for the record-when LO is hard to deal with I will deal with him. Children and dogs are nothing alike. So that has nothing to do with the dog. And I have had a baby that was not planned and had to place her for adoption because it was a bad situation...(not going into details) but for you to say something like that makes me sick. I would NEVER say that about my own child. I am excited to be a parent and to have the responsibilities that come with it, but like I said before this has nothing to do with a dog. I understand that some people have different views on pets, and I didn't have pets when I was little, so I actually didn't know what I was signing up for when I started dating him. I didn't realize the amount of money and work and responsibility that went into having just one dog...so again, I don't care what people are thinking about me, I just am trying to fix the problem so we don't have to get rid of her...so instead of judging me as a person, give me a suggestion as to how to better take care of her. Thanks.

Actually, I respect this response. I'm glad you are owning up to the fact that you are in over your head and need help. I always had lots of pets, so it had not occurred to me that people might grow up without them.

I grew up with 2 outdoor and 1 indoor German Shepherds. They shed similarly to your dog, I think. We brushed them outside often. Don't bathe too often, as this dries out the skin and increases shedding. We also made sure they were getting some extra fat in their diet, as it makes for a healthier, shinier coat, less prone to shedding. (We used bacon grease and eggs. This is better for outdoor dogs, be easy with your house dog, don't want her getting fat)

Alpha training has been extremely effective with our pit bulls. One of them is a shelter dog, so I researched terms like "train shelter dog" and "how to adopt shelter dog" and "train adult dog". I know yours isn't a shelter dog, but these methods worked really well on my non-shelter dog too. They mostly just focus on training/retraining adult dogs. Some good sites:
https://www.paws.org/re-housetraining-adult-dog.html
https://trainyourshelterdog.com/category/train-your-shelter-dog/
https://www.dog-obedience-training-review.com/

Comfortis worked really well to get rid of our fleas, although as I mentioned earlier, it stopped working after about a year. It actually got rid of them in the house too, because the spinosad is in the dog's blood and kills any flea that bites her.

ETA: more info

Zilly13 · October 2013

Your "busy" time is temporary. Giving away your pet is permanent, and one that will affect the poor pup for the rest of his life. I'm sure the dog would rather be with you both and not get a walk every day than to go to a strange family whom he doesn't know or trust.

MannaPants · October 2013

LizB8943 said:
My first piece of advice to you would be to crate train...get a book and get started. Our lab LOVES her crate...she knows it's her space. She sleeps in it every night (we put her in with a treat around 10:30 or so) and we do not hear a peep out of her. In fact, if we "miss" bedtime, she will come get us and be annoying until we let her out for one last potty break and put her to bed Start out with putting the dog in the crate for short periods (while you run to the grocery store, etc) and work up. Always reward with a treat and praise. The dog will come to associate the crate with good things.

*Quote snipped

I forgot to mention crate training!! It has been a lifesaver for us! My girls love their crates. They are already sitting in them waiting for me to close them by the time I am ready to leave in the morning. They also go there when they are stressed or unhappy. It completely potty trained them too, with no other form of potty training going on.

SweetLaura286 · October 2013

I feel my blood pressure rising, reading this. I can't read any more. Your poor dog.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · October 2013

LizB8943 said:

@Elreid , I'm glad you're willing to give the dog a chance. I understand where you're coming from--my husband is military and was gone A TON the first year or two we had our dog. Most of the work fell to me. There were times I wanted to throttle her, but we both survived and our home wouldn't be the same without her:)

Our lab is 3 now and she can be a handful--and she's been trained and is fairly well-mannered. You have to remember labs & other retriever breeds are bred to WORK. They have strong "pleaser" instincts and are typically intelligent and happy to learn.

My first piece of advice to you would be to crate train...get a book and get started. Our lab LOVES her crate...she knows it's her space. She sleeps in it every night (we put her in with a treat around 10:30 or so) and we do not hear a peep out of her. In fact, if we "miss" bedtime, she will come get us and be annoying until we let her out for one last potty break and put her to bed Start out with putting the dog in the crate for short periods (while you run to the grocery store, etc) and work up. Always reward with a treat and praise. The dog will come to associate the crate with good things.

Retriever breeds do need lots of exercise...we are fortunate to have a fenced-in yard here, but at our last house, our backyard was literally a postage stamp. It was tough. We took the dog to the pet-friendly park in our neighborhood literally every. single. day. She needed the exercise, and her favorite thing in the world is to retrieve a tennis ball. Get one of those Chuck-It ball throwers from PetSmart. A good 20 minutes of that will wear her out and she comes home and takes a nap. We take lots of walks and my husband will 'roughhouse' with her to burn up some energy. If there is a doggie daycare (we live in a small army town--not exactly a bustling metropolis--and there are several here), take advantage. Even one day a week will give you a break, and the dog will come home worn out. It's lovely.

The jumping can definitely be curtailed. We used a shock collar for a while and that helped (it comes with a remote and different levels of 'power'). Also, one tip from our vet that is SO true...dogs jump b/c they want attention. When the dog starts jumping, ignore her. Do not respond at all. No "down" or anything like that. No petting/touching. When they don't get a reaction, they'll eventually stop jumping. Then you praise the heck out of them...verbally praise, scratch their ears, reward with a treat, etc. It may take a while but our dog very rarely jumps on people now.

As far as the shedding/hair...I get it. I vacuum and can see hair on the hardwood floors 5 minutes later. It's seriously depressing! We got a lightweight "dust buster" type vacuum ($60 or so at Target) so I'm not lugging out the heavy-duty one all the time. Makes my life easier. Also, brush the dog outside to loosen hair, especially after baths. There's a tool called the "Furminator" you can get at PetSmart or online that people swear by. We don't have one but I've heard great things. I've definitely had to relax my housekeeping standards a bit. We don't let the dog on the furniture so I'd recommend that...keeps the upholstery and bedding much nicer.

Nothing I've written here is rocket science. It really just takes dedication and a willingness on your and your SO's part (and on the dog's part) to learn. And I promise you, the dog wants to learn. Labs/retrievers are such pleasers and they'll do just about anything to make you happy. I'd recommend getting a book specifically on labs or goldens so you can really tailor your efforts to the breed--different breeds respond to different methods. Good luck!

Again, I 2nd the Furminator. Hated paying $60 for a brush but use it once and you'd gladly pay twice that. Best. Brush. Ever.

hollowway · October 2013

I really don't understand why people would get an animal, or get into a situation where there is already an animal in the home, and then as soon as there is a baby involved, get rid of it.

- The dog sheds? Brush it.
- The dog has fleas? Give it a flea bath, treat it with a flea and tick preventative,and flea bomb your house. It is your fault as the owner that the dog has fleas. It costs $20 @ month for the preventative.
- The dog scratches at night? Don't let it sleep in your room.
- You have to talk the dog? Wow, exercise for both you and the dog must really be such a downer.

I'm really not seeing the issue. Its not like the dog is dangerous or misbehaved. Its really more of you being selfish than the dog being a problem. A dog is a 10+ year commitment,not something decide doesn't fit after YEARS of owning and loving it, just because you're having a baby. A dog is part of the family and kids are lucky to be able to be raised with dogs.

hollowway · October 2013

Oh. And I live in a VERY rural area. Surrounded by farms and woods, dirt road, etc.

Our dogs don't have fleas because we treat them monthly with a preventative from the vet. I also flea bomb the house once a month and use Raid (the kind for fleas) around the outside walls of the house. We have a small 2 bedroom ranch and have a large 75lb hound and a 50lb pitbull. Don't give me the bullshit about not having room for your dog.

You're just too lazy to brush it, prevent fleas, walk it and whatever else.

You don't like animals? Then why the hell would you be involved with someone knowing they had a large, energetic, shedding dog? Your issue, not the dogs.

Suck it up buttercup.

lilybeth12 · October 2013

I have a golden who was bred for hunting, yet has lived his whole life (8yrs) happily in a 1 bed condo in the middle of Boston. We just moved to a house with a yard this summer, but have stayed committed to what made him a good dog in the past.

-goldens get bored, then they cause trouble. things to keep your dog from getting bored are: 1.regular play time, fetch or puzzle toys work great.

2. regular exercise, see fetch and walks. Is there a neighborhood kid that would like to earn a few extra bucks playing with your dog? We are going from 3x per week with the dog walker to 5x per week after the baby comes. I can see a difference in my pup on days when he's had the extra attention vs when he hasnt.

3. Training. Pick up 'puppies for dummies' or 'my smart puppy' if no trainer is local to you.

Use consistency - the same words for the same actions every time.

training works the brain as well as the body. you get the benefit of better behavior and a tired pup. And mythbusters proved awhile back that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

we all hit walls from time to time, take a deep breath and move forward.

3Dewdrops · October 2013

I feel for you. Honestly I wouldn't have married DH if he had a dog. I hate everything about them. My ILs took a LONG time to accept me because of this. You'd think I said I hate babies or something.

Jennybabe0706 · October 2013

Also, just thinking about the fact you titles this post "fur babies" irritates me. Clearly you don't consider this dog your fur baby. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for any excuse to get rid of it. Just saying.

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