Furbabies

Edvoncupacake

I had a moment the other day when I looked at our corgi and thought "WTF am I gonna do with you?". He barks at the shower curtain (doesn't trust it), the ironing board (his archenemy. It has battle damage.), people walking by our patio and doors opening/people walking by outside our front door. I'm not even gonna get into the household items or toys of DS's the he flips out about. He sheds like nothing I've ever seen before and it finds it's way everywhere despite all of my combing, brushing, bathing, and trips to the groomers to be defluffed. I could have enough dog fur to knit a sweater in a week. He's got a super sensitive stomach and threw up last night actually. If he's not throwing up he has the runs. He doesn't have accidents inside, but I end up having to wipe his ass and that is gross, especially when you're already feeling sick. All of these things are going to add difficulty to life with a baby, especially since we're already pushing it with DH's work schedule (I am sole caretaker of our dog and kids), our living situation (we're in a cramped apartment) and several other things.

Despite all of this, when I calm myself from my hormone and anxiety fueled panic, I look at my pup and remember that he's awesome, despite his inconveniences. And you know what? We'll deal. It's an epic level challenge and I'm ready. I hope you find the strength and patience to handle both your baby and your pup. It's stressful to think about, so don't. It's not helping anything. It will be just fine.

babymama619

I had circumstances change a few years ago that forced me to give up one if my dogs. And frankly it was the best option for all parties involved, including the dog!

If OP's husband had the dog first and doesn't want to take care of it then Shame on him. If OP is saying she can't manage then how fair is it to the dog or anyone for her to keep the dog? Just because PPs can't see getting rid of their animals doesn't mean that OP should keep hers if she isn't happy with the relationship. It's not like she's saying she wants to put the dog down or something.

I wonder if people would be judging so harshly if this was a turtle or a rabbit or something. A pet is a pet, not a kid and they should not be compared equally. If the did is not adding to your life and you're not adding to the dog's, then maybe you should discuss rehoming.

agentkitten75

I guess I find this post hard to understand because my dog bowie(pictured in my post) is basically my child. Sure he can be needy, bratty, messy, loud and sometimes annoying , but would I give him to someone else because that's too much? No way!! I can't imagine my life and my future LO's life without him in it. We are so excited for Bowie to meet LO and see it as him meeting his brother. Bowie is my responsibility , just as a child is and I wouldn't give either away just cause it was too much work.

babymama619

3Dewdrops said:

I feel for you.  Honestly I wouldn't have married DH if he had a dog. I hate everything about them. My ILs took a LONG time to accept me because of this. You'd think I said I hate babies or something. 

Ha ha. My BFF feels the sane way and have told her she can't tell other people that because they think she's a total freak!

hollowway

She can manage the dog. She just doesn't WANT to.

babymama619

wedding06 said:

@babymama619 I think there are circumstances where it is best for all parties to rehome an animal. Otherwise I would have never worked in animal shelters. The reasons PP gave aren't good ones IMO and her husband isn't on board either.  It sounds more like a communication issue between them and the dog is suffering because of it. 

In addition, giving up an animal may not mean they get put down but likely another one will be. People want puppies and keep breeding and when they get sick of their dogs they give them up. It is a sad fact but there aren't enough homes for all the great dogs out there and rehoming does have a trickle effect. 

I agree her reasons are pretty lame. In fact my dog ran away just this morning. I'm not a fan of chasing her down either, but that's part of the deal. All I'm saying is is she is miserable, her husband isn't helping and the dog is suffering (b/c she doesn't want to walk it etc.) maybe she should look into finding another home. I don't think she should keep it just because we all judge her. I'd hate to see the dog become more disliked and/or neglected in the coming years because she couldn't decide. Maybe OP and her husband shouldn't be pet owners. Better to know sooner than later.


@jennabee1015 it's as ridiculous to compare a turtle to a dog as it is to compare a dog to a kid.

McJen715

Elreid said:

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me.

First, I get that she is his dog and I agree he should be stepping up. However, dogs are not accessories you can dispose of when inconvenient. I think threatening that you are going to want to get rid of her (as you mention here) is not cool. We trained our dogs on our own. No formal classes. Just 'Sit. Good girl!' - reward with treat/love until they understood the command. It isn't that hard.

Second, the whole 'it's a lot of responsibility to own a dog with a newborn' is a bullshit excuse. We had two large indoor dogs (a pitbull and lab), and a cat when DD1 was born (we put our pit down last Nov from bone cancer and I miss him every damn day!!). I won't say it wasn't any extra responsibility but unless the dog is vicious and is going to harm your baby I honestly don't understand what a legitamite reason to get rid of the dog would be. Hair all over? Vacuum/sweep (or make SO!!). Fleas? Treat the dog, spray the house. Scratching? Crate and behavior train. But giving up on a dog because you are having a baby is a total freaking copout.

amberrrjade

Elreid said:

I'm so sick of the excuse that it was DH's dog first. That doesn't change the fact that you are both the dog's owners. "It's not mine, it's his" doesn't fly when you're married and talking about a living creature in your household. I'm just thankful you are willing to talk about training and dividing responsibilities more evenly. Plus, retrievers make excellent family dogs.

It also doesn't fly when you're living together and having a baby together.

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.

I haven't read all the comments or the previous post (I'm assuming there is one) but uhhh what do you think a child is? Responsibility. That's all I have to say.

amberrrjade

CFox815 said:

At this point, I'm just lurking because I don't think I can control my responses. I'm cuddling my dogs so freaking hard tonight because this makes me sad. No, I really am, my husband calls me Elmira because of my propensity to cuddle animals.

I know... I STILL haven't started not allowing Luna or Cook on the bed... I just love cuddling them.

Eshirley26

Jennybabe0706 said:

Also, just thinking about the fact you titles this post "fur babies" irritates me. Clearly you don't consider this dog your fur baby. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for any excuse to get rid of it. Just saying.

THIS!!!! Erg...

mmm50

CFox815 said:

At this point, I'm just lurking because I don't think I can control my responses. I'm cuddling my dogs so freaking hard tonight because this makes me sad. No, I really am, my husband calls me Elmira because of my propensity to cuddle animals.

THIS!  Nothing you have said is a reason to get rid of a dog.  If it was a safety concern for you or LO that's about the only reason that I could fathom to give up a pet---- but that would be after months of professional training/help to try to fix the problem.  

I can't comment on the rest of it without losing my shit, so I won't. 

Elreid

amberrrjade said:

Elreid said:

questra8 said:

I'm so sick of the excuse that it was DH's dog first. That doesn't change the fact that you are both the dog's owners. "It's not mine, it's his" doesn't fly when you're married and talking about a living creature in your household. I'm just thankful you are willing to talk about training and dividing responsibilities more evenly. Plus, retrievers make excellent family dogs.

It also doesn't fly when you're living together and having a baby together.

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.

I haven't read all the comments or the previous post (I'm assuming there is one) but uhhh what do you think a child is? Responsibility. That's all I have to say.


A baby is A welcomed responsibility that I will love to have. Again. A dog is not a person so to even compare the two is so stupid in my opinion.
@mishkaroni at least I'm responsible enough to know when I'm in over my head. So to think that I'm not responsible is stupid. I am trying to find a way to take care of her and keep her while making it as easy as possible for everyone. It's not easy taking care of a dog and I honestly don't understand why people think that dogs are just as important...let's be honest. If there was a fire in your house would you save the dog or the kid first? Kid? That's what I thought, so to think that I'm not responsible for your above reasons doesn't make any sense in my opinion.
Let's also keep in mind that these are all opinions. I'm sorry that I don't share the same opinion as many of you, but there are also others who share my opinion. I am perfectly capable of taking care of my LO when he gets here. I am having a tough time taking care of the dog right now as it is, so to think about taking care of a baby with a very hyper lab scares the shit out of me. I said before that I'm willing to try to make this work, but if she is getting neglected or if she ever hurts LO then I'm going to throw my hands in the air and say I'm done. She can go live on a farm where she will be well fed, taken care of and she will be able to be a hunting dog. So I'm not going to be hurting her by having her live with someone else close to us. And it Might not be permanent...maybe just for a year until we can get on our feet and we have this whole parenting thing down.

amberrrjade

You must be the meanest person ever.

I would grab LO and I bet sure as shit DH would grab Luna & Cook's fatass! HOLY SHIZ!

"She can go live on a farm" OMG YOU'RE GOING TO KILL IT! I'VE HEARD THAT LINE BEFORE!

hollowway

Pretty sure my dog would wake me up if there's a fire and she'd make sure that LO and I got out... I wouldn't have to choose between my baby and my dogs, because they'd save me.

SamanthaPo

Dapostrophe said:

Elreid said: I don't care what people are thinking about me, I just am trying to fix the problem so we don't have to get rid of her...so instead of judging me as a person, give me a suggestion as to how to better take care of her. Thanks.

I read your OP more as an argument in favor of getting rid of the dog as opposed to a cry for help. I guess we need clarification on whether you are looking for support for re-homing, or recommendations on how to improve the dog's behavior. If you were reaching out for advice, maybe your OP could have been worded in a way that sounded like you were in favor of keeping the dog.

I will toss in my two cents (since you asked): There are days I hate both of my pets. I frequently threaten them both with Craigslist. My cat often runs out the door (that my toddler leaves open) and then turns right back around meowing to get back in. I usually stand at the closed door and tell her to run away forever and find a cat lady who leaves food out. My dog eats baby socks and pukes them up. My cat jumps in the crib and then meows stupidly for help when my toddler gets ahold of her and starts pulling out tufts of hair. My dog barks at birds during nap time. There are many more examples of why my pets are inconvenient to have in the house, especially with a baby. But they are my pets, and I made a commitment when I brought them into my home...and I am teaching my children that those types of commitments are important. 

You made a commitment to the dog when you brought her into your home as well, whether she was yours initially or not. She is turning out to be much more than you bargained for, but she is YOUR pet as well as DH's. If you make a choice to re-home her, that's your decision, and you know what's best for you...but you will have to own that decision and face some of the reactions people will have when you put it out there. 

I think you've gotten some good advice on training and behavioral fixes...I hope you will at least attempt them for the dog's sake. You may find she is a joy and a delight to your new baby as I KNOW my two PITAs are to my son. Best of luck to you.

This, except my animals don't eat anything. They hoard it!

 

Elreid

amberrrjade said:

You must be the meanest person ever.

I would grab LO and I bet sure as shit DH would grab Luna & Cook's fatass! HOLY SHIZ!

"She can go live on a farm" OMG YOU'RE GOING TO KILL IT! I'VE HEARD THAT LINE BEFORE!

Ok seriously, that was way too dramatic. I laughed. I would never harm our dog. I said that from the very beginning. There is a close family friend who is from our town who has been asking about the dog for a while now. They actually WANT her because they know she could be an excellent hunting dog. She would have a fenced in back yard with three other labs to play with and a pond, so for you to take my words and twist them isn't right. And I know you probably don't think that me giving the dog to another family is right, but at least I didn't twist your words to make it sound like I have no feelings towards her. I'm not a person who hates animals, I like them, just not in my house. I've always been that way. You like them and you are fine with them living in your house...two different opinions. Neither is right or wrong. Just different.

JennyCupcakes01

My boyfriend hinted at getting rid of my cats when I found out I was pregnant but I told him there was no way. I had them a few years before I even met him so they are strictly my cats and quite honestly, would not expect him to take care of them when we move in together. I think mistake #1 was your SO wanting you to groom, walk, and take care of the dog that was HIS to begin with. That should be HIS responsibility.

But I agree with everyone else. Animals, just like kids, are a lifetime commitment. It's not fair to toss them out the door when you please. And re-homing is NOT easy. I think the easiest solution is to get your SO to step up to some doggy duty.

amberrrjade

The quoting is messing up. But just an FYI I was being incredibly facetious. I hope your SO does agree to give the dog away because you seem like a horrid owner and I feel bad for "your" puppy and a little bad for your SO. I'd be devastated if someone wanted to get rid of one of my pets because you do get attached to them even if they're not people. Cook and Luna are my first children. DH and I got Cook together almost two years ago and we love him so much. But anyway arguing or even busting your balls on this topic seems a little bit redundant. Sorry and good luck to your dog and SO.

hollowway

I had my pitbull before I met N and he had his hound before he met me. We moved in together and they became OUR dogs. He's "daddy" and I'm "mommy"... My pit loves him almost as much as me (sometimes I think more) and when there's a thunderstorm and our hound is having a panic attack, he comes to me for comfort. We became a family. I would never think of getting rid of Cobra and he would never think of getting rid of Terra. I never would have even started dating him if he wasn't a dog person. If we ever (even forbid) were to separate, yes, Terra would come with me and Cobra would stay with him, but they're OUR dogs.

You're already in this,but I find it incredibly irresponsible for you to enter into a relationship where there's a dog and also irresponsible for him to enter into a relationship with someone who isn't an animal person.

agentkitten75

Elreid said:

Elreid said:

I'm so sick of the excuse that it was DH's dog first. That doesn't change the fact that you are both the dog's owners. "It's not mine, it's his" doesn't fly when you're married and talking about a living creature in your household. I'm just thankful you are willing to talk about training and dividing responsibilities more evenly. Plus, retrievers make excellent family dogs.

It also doesn't fly when you're living together and having a baby together.

I am willing to talk about it and try some different things to make this easier on all of us, but since this was his dog from the start he needs to step up and do what he needs to do or else I really and going to want to get rid of her. It's a lot of responsibility to own a dog and along with the responsibility of a new baby seems like a lot to me. And "he had her first" is not an excuse...it's a simple fact. I don't like having animals...for the very reason I have said...responsibility. So the fact that I'm dealing with it all now is frustrating to me and I don't know how to train or take care of her...I'm doing my research, though. And like I said before...dogs are not people. They are not as important as kids and family. Now, I am not saying I agree with the way that people sometimes treat animals. I would never leave her somewhere I didn't trust and I would never harm her...but at the end of the day she's a dog and we have a baby that is more important than her.

I haven't read all the comments or the previous post (I'm assuming there is one) but uhhh what do you think a child is? Responsibility. That's all I have to say.

A baby is A welcomed responsibility that I will love to have. Again. A dog is not a person so to even compare the two is so stupid in my opinion. @mishkaroni at least I'm responsible enough to know when I'm in over my head. So to think that I'm not responsible is stupid. I am trying to find a way to take care of her and keep her while making it as easy as possible for everyone. It's not easy taking care of a dog and I honestly don't understand why people think that dogs are just as important...let's be honest. If there was a fire in your house would you save the dog or the kid first? Kid? That's what I thought, so to think that I'm not responsible for your above reasons doesn't make any sense in my opinion. Let's also keep in mind that these are all opinions. I'm sorry that I don't share the same opinion as many of you, but there are also others who share my opinion. I am perfectly capable of taking care of my LO when he gets here. I am having a tough time taking care of the dog right now as it is, so to think about taking care of a baby with a very hyper lab scares the shit out of me. I said before that I'm willing to try to make this work, but if she is getting neglected or if she ever hurts LO then I'm going to throw my hands in the air and say I'm done. She can go live on a farm where she will be well fed, taken care of and she will be able to be a hunting dog. So I'm not going to be hurting her by having her live with someone else close to us. And it Might not be permanent...maybe just for a year until we can get on our feet and we have this whole parenting thing down.

OMG what a terrible scenario!!!! In case of a fire, flood or emergency, one of us takes LO one of us takes Bowie !! They are both important to us and we would never leave our dog to die. He is FAMILY and family doesn't get left behind .

artistlife

I think some of you need to step away from the thread. Not everyone feels the same way about animals. I happen to have had two great dogs and an awesome cat that still hold places in my heart. Since their deaths I haven't been able to let another animal in. I took in the cutest puppy in the world while I was pregnant with DS, from my BIL because he was missing reading time since getting the dog. The dog turned out to be fucking psychotic. I paid for two training classes, a private dog trainer, anxiety meds and many vet trips. In the end, the vet, DH, and I decided the best for this dog was euthanasia.Just an example of his psychosis; he once chewed a hole through his metal kennel while I was at work. I found him on my lunch break about to strangle to death and covered in blood from the damage to his  mouth. He also would  turn on you in an instant. He would go from cuddly to biting your face in seconds.

I felt like I failed and I haven't had a pet since then. One day I would like to have another dog or cat. When I am ready. However, because of what I went through I cannot judge another pet owner for doing what they believe is right for their family or their pets. I think if the dog is causing mom that much stress it cannot be good for PPD. We talk about cutting out parents, siblings, an  toxic friends but pet relationships can be just as toxic. 

Just want to put that out there. Also, as a parent, if I ever had to choose my child over my pet, child wins every time. 

cagoldi

@ Elreid - You keep saying it's just a matter of two different views as if yours is just as valid as the next.  Sorry, it's not. The value of an opinion is not in having one at all, it's that you can defend it. You haven't done that well since the reasons you list for giving up the animal are absurd and that's why most don't agree with you.

I would feel differently if you had specific concerns about the dog harming your baby but that isn't the case. You came here asking for advice and got excellent suggestions, but always have a reason they won't work for you. It's clear you've made up your mind about how you are going to proceed.