STM+ What are you not telling the FTMs?

lilmama412 · October 2013

Something that I think should be advertised more...take your rings off as soon as your fingers start to swell! It seems like common sense, but I have heard way too many horror stories of women having to get their wedding rings cut off.

kali55 · October 2013

I blew out my asshole pushing and had terrible hemorrhoids. It was my birthday three days after DS's and all I wanted for my birthday was a Corona and Preparation H (I got both! Best day EVER!).

But honestly, when I think back to my pregnancy with DS and L&D, the worst part was probably the pregnancy related constipation. Worse than labor in my humble opinion. At least with labor you get a baby with all that pushing!

juliasmama2010 · October 2013

sdo_082989 said:

I must have been a freak. I didn't think recovery was bad at all. Pooping never hurt me, not even the first time PP. I wore regular pads and underwear. I actually have had periods that I bled more than PP. It didn't sting when I peed...I used my peri bottle for about 3 days but just because the warm water did feel good and I felt cleaner. One thing I never heard about was how gross you would feel for the first couple of weeks. I never felt clean, maybe that was just me.

I was the exact same (hi, Lurking from Jan '14!). Pooping PP was scary, but I just loaded up on apples and anything else that would loosen things up for me and it wasn't bad at all. I was relieved to get it out of the way though. I wore mesh panties while in the hospital, but that was it. Came home in my own underwear with my own pads. Honestly, I don't remember excessive bleeding, I think it was less than a week. FX that y'all have a similar experience because it wasn't all that bad for me!

snwsnw · October 2013

I didn't have time to even think about my recovery. My son was hospitalized due to clotting issues which we found out was hemophilia. I was too stressed and worried to care about anything other than him. He's now 2 years old and super healthy!! We are expecting baby number 2! I'm 11 weeks pregnant ;-) hoping this delivery is less stressful!

Bees Everywhere · October 2013

I had to have a planned CS, which is not what I wanted, but it really wasn't that bad. The worst part is being naked and strapped to a table an getting nauseous while laying there.

I was up and walking 12 hours after my CS, but I had to ask the nurses to let me get my epidural out. I think it helped with recovery to walk early.

Worst part was that I had a cold and sneezing/ blowing my nose really hurt.

No... ok the worst part was my son was in the NICU and I HAD to be up and walking in 12 hours if I wanted to see him. He was whisked away and my husband followed and I was in tears in the recovery room by myself because nobody bothered to tell me what was going on so of course you expect the worst. Especially when you're told you get to hold your son in recovery and he isn't there.

I couldn't leave the hospital soon enough, someone was in there every 2 hours to mess with you/ talk with you so you only got maybe an hour of sleep at a time for the days I was there. We had to put a sign on our door to leave us alone.

The NICU was so tough. I mean he was in there for I think 3 days- I can't imagine having to leave him there longer. I feel for NICU moms so much. He got blood pricks all the time and was hooked up to so much I felt like I wasn't allowed to touch him.

I had to take a laxative to poop like 5 or 6 days after delivery, it wasn't moving on its own, but it was fine pain wise- really. I was taking dulcolax the last month or two daily anyway.

Engorgement was never super painful for me, but then whenever I started to get engorged my milk would just let down anyway and spray out everywhere. Thrush in the ducts was horrible though. Felt like a needle going into my breast through the nipple. Take probiotics to help avoid this. Ask for newman's nipple cream instead of just lanolin, it will also help prevent it.

I was just as huge leaving the hospital as when I entered if not more so. I couldn't wear shoes, my feet were just huge blobs. Guess C-sec meds do that. I asked my Dr. For a belly wrap ahead of time and I loved it and used it a ton. It feels like it keeps your insides form falling out.

I got PPD, which is really common and it sucks and you get medicine and you feel normal and can deal with everything again so just tell your dr if you think you have it because it's hard enough being a FTM without depression on top of it.

edit:

I loved the mesh underwear and big diaper pads, they were lose enough they didn't mess with my incision. When I got home I switched to men's boxer briefs which also didn't mess with my scar. Bleeding wasn't anything horrendous.

Oh and I was TERRIFIED to have my staples removed- like 3 or 4 days after the surgery- I thought it would hurt (it didn't) and that there was no way my skin would stay together (it did).

melissashogan · October 2013

I forgot most of the bad stuff because I was so caught up in my new baby. However some shockers for me included...

Almost being forced into an enima when I went to be induced.

Nurses pulling on all my limbs and being snarky with me like I should know what I was doing.

Phantom movements after baby is born (makes you feel like you are still pregnant).

When I stopped breast feeding my breasts got so hard and painful.

I was so hungry after birth and the hospital cafe was closed thank god for long john silvers (have a back up dinner plan).

myschlove · October 2013

Oh, awesome C-section tip. If you put a pantiliner or pad with the soft spot towards your scar in the sticky part on your panties you can have a nice barrier between your scar and your underwear !

My hospitals kitchen was open all night so I was able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

First-time moms- no need to get super freaked out. Just remember if you keep yourself healthy during your pregnancy that really does help with your recovery and your labor. Everyone is different, every pregnancy is different and every birth is a little bit different so prepare as much as you can and be flexible and go with the flow !

BabyBsMommy · October 2013

I know this has been mentioned but it was the biggest surprise for me. Bladder control. I would be like "oh, gotta go...nevermind, I'm already peeing..." I would stand up to walk to the bathroom and it would already be too late...wouldn't even make it to the bathroom door...

prettyinpink84 · October 2013

I'd say the worst part was pooping for the first time and thinking you are going to tear you stitches, engorged breasts, trying to breastfeed, and the first month or two dealing with all that and emotions. My husband was amazing after our DS was born but it was really difficult finding our new normal. Still I'd do it all over again and again :-)

navyfiance18 · October 2013

Luckily

NicoleAnne416 · October 2013

Oh man you are all reminding me of things I forgot! The ute pushers are evil. By the second kid I didn't care so much on checking "down there" that first day a few times. The pushers I wanted to slap.

That peri bottle was my bff. And the (forgot the brand) antiseptic spray.

You'll be so tired and off schedule with your first (I was anyway) that you may not remember much of the first few months... with my second it was much better. This time with my third, I will be keeping that messed up, tired, exhausted but wonderful schedule in mind and try to prepare the best I can for "being off schedule".

Most have a hard time pooping. With my first I had fissures. For over a year. Ouch that hurt almost every time I pooped. Eventually it went away. Everyone is different to some degree!

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

Smores730 said:
A few things from me that I didn't know:

1. Once the epidural takes effect, farts can literally fall out of your butt. It was funny to me.
2. My water breaking (while in bed) came out as a small gush, rather than a huge amount. It then trickled out little by little as I moved around. The nurses kept rolling their eyes at me telling me it was urine until they tested it. Bishes.
3. After my c/s with #2, they brought the baby to the nursery to clean him up and therefore everyone there at the hospital got to see the baby for the 1st time without me there.. including his sister. Eff that. I never read up on c/s, I had no idea I had to lay on a table completely naked in front of numerous people lol. I threw up during the procedure which is super fun to do while laying down. Turn your head and barf. I was told it was pretty commonplace. The medicine from the c/s made me itch uncontrollably for many hours and it was not considered an allergic reaction.
4. I haven't seen ice diapers mentioned. Cut a slit in a diaper, fill it with ice, put some tape on the slit and the diaper will absorb the melted water while your lady bits smile.
5. If anyone offers help after the baby, ask them to make you or pick up food. It is soooo nice to have premade stuff even if it's a sandwich or a salad.
6. Fiber, laxatives, and more fiber. The pain meds make your poop rock-like and harder to pass. Not cool.
7. Know that your birthing experience may not go as planned and sometimes the only thing you really have control over is your attitude.
8. Bring your baby book to the hospital and most nice nurses will do ink footprints in the book while they make the official footprints.

I laughed at almost every line of this. In the middle of all the horror, a welcome change. Thank you.

teachingmama11 · October 2013

I agree with everyone that said the ute pushers were terrible, and it was really awkward having your pad checked by the nurses. I am a very private, modest person but after labor & delivery & all the post partum checks/ breastfeeding help, I had to just get used to the idea of pretty much no privacy. I was really scared to poop for the first time, but it wasn't that bad. I was exhausted & like PP said, some of my memories of the first few weeks are super foggy because I was just SO tired. Seriously though, the baby makes all of the painful/uncomfortable parts more than worth it!

sarahbeth27 · October 2013

jellysparkles said:

Wait.

FRANKENGINA??

What the heck is that??
Bruised/colorful, swollen, quite possibly literally torn up and stitched back together... thank you, sweet baby...

And, it does go back together - but not as fast as you may imagine. I took a mirror to mine about 4 weeks PP and was shocked at how "gaping" it looked! I do NOT recommend looking. I certainly won't be looking this time!

sarahbeth27 · October 2013

Your hair will be a glorious thing from a shampoo commercial by the end of your pregnancy - enjoy it. It does not last. You will soon begin shedding and your once luxurious hair becomes brittle and breaks so your entire face is framed with tiny little baby hairs you cannot control.

sarahbeth27 · October 2013

ckred27 said:

jellysparkles said:

Oh! Assuming your milk comes in well, you'll probably accidentally spray baby... the dog... the tv...
Srsly, I had to carry clorox wipes w. me everywhere or else I would leave a trail of milk in my wake

My milk came in on day 5, at my sons first pedi appointment.... and I didn't realize I had soaked through my shirt. Nice.

sarahbeth27 · October 2013

At 6 weeks PP, you will be cleared for exercise - although, any form of exercise will make you pee your pants. Truf.

Jogging, jumping jacks - those were the two worst. I couldn't do a jumping jack w/out pissing for nearly 6 months.

youleen · October 2013

C section mom here, I couldn't sit up on my own from a laying down position for a couple of weeks. I had to kind of tuck and roll off the bed if my husband wasn't around to help me.

The staples in my stomach also totally grossed me out for some reason. Especially when they pulled them out with what looked like pliers.

LittleLady77 · October 2013

@-) I'm having nightmares tonight.

AcaAwkward · October 2013

Man, I really thought there must have been some drama on this thread... Nope! 5 pages of personal experiences...which is great and all, but, FTMs, please do not take too much stock or get too worked up about anyone else's birth experience. Yours will be personal just to you -- some parts will suck and some parts will suck less and some parts may not suck at all. The only guarantee is that listening to birthing horror stories will do absolutely nothing positive to help you prepare for your own unique birth.

Bees Everywhere · October 2013

Oh and as a CS mama, I don't know if it was all that swelling, medicine or just my own personal reaction to things but my knees were SO stiff I had a lot of trouble standing up from the floor or chair for a good month. I had to use my hands so I couldn't stand from a chair while holding DS. It was so bizarre and scary but fortunately it went away completely.

Oh and if you're having a lot of hip pain or think your abs are split get in to a physical therapist sooner rather than later, they're like magicians at making you heal and feel better.

Don't sweat it, if it were that bad we wouldn't be doing it again!

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