STM+ What are you not telling the FTMs?

zoopsiedaisy

Lightening crotch? Frankengina? What's next?

I would like to know what else we have in store. I am starting a "shit they don't tell you about pregnancy" list. And I know I can count on A14 to tell it like it really is. Knowledge is power!!! Go!!

lilmama412

Ha....that first month after delivery is pure hell. No one ever told me how horrible the recovery would be. Try crying everytime you have to poop, using a spray bottle on your vag because you can't wipe after you pee, bleeding for a month straight, stitches itching like crazy in your vagina,  your boobs hurt like hell, you're STILL fat and can't fit into your regular clothes, and you are major sleep deprived. 

zoopsiedaisy

Holy crap!!! %-(

baylorlinda

Wait. 

FRANKENGINA?? 

What the heck is that??

BiggerinRealLife

Ok, I'm out. Any way to get out of this that doesn't violate my morals? Please?

thomas930

Don't forget the hemmies. I've got a nice one that's stuck round, on and off for 4 years now. 

zoopsiedaisy

jellysparkles said:

baylorlinda said:

Wait. 

FRANKENGINA?? 

What the heck is that??

Bruised/colorful, swollen, quite possibly literally torn up and stitched back together... thank you, sweet baby...

That's actually kind of funny while still scary because the visual is so clear now...

Laroo0220

Oh man this just brought back delightful memories. Did you all get the mesh panties with the ginormous pad/diapers with ice in them? I remember thinking "what the f?!" Nobody told me anything about this!!

thomas930

Laroo0220 said:

Oh man this just brought back delightful memories. Did you all get the mesh panties with the ginormous pad/diapers with ice in them? I remember thinking "what the f?!" Nobody told me anything about this!!

I hated the mesh undies...the pad always slipped around so I just used my own undies from home. 

Laroo0220

@lalamama wow you're lucky! 10 days! I think I bled for 4 weeks and pooping was terrifying. I didn't cry but I was so scared to actually go after. I'm jealous. Maybe this one will be a little better

zoopsiedaisy

I'm a worst case scenario type of person. It actually helps me not to freak out thinking something happening is abnormal or special happening just to me. I know everyone had very different experiences. Prepare for the worst...hope for the best!!

mrscrcalli

( :-t :-w 8-> :-q [-O< %-( currently feeling all of the above.. H isn't home and I want someone to hold me. :-S

joyfullyfound

I pood on the delivery table. Most people do. And they tell you not to worry about it because you won't even know... well, I knew. I just didn't give a flying fuck at that point. 

I didn't tear or anything during delivery, so my nether regions weren't too bad after the initial swelling went down. Ice packs are your friend. I just remember how awful it was when my milk came in and my breasts were totally engorged... so uncomfortable! I was so glad to have a nursing baby to relieve the pressure... can't imagine how painful it would be if you were choosing not to BF for some reason  :-S

lilmama412

thomas930 said:

Don't forget the hemmies. I've got a nice one that's stuck round, on and off for 4 years now. 

Oh yeah, still got one of those too! 

MamaFantastic

i just felt chained to the couch, chained to the house, chained to a never-regular, never-predictable "schedule" that messed with my mind and left me perpetually sleepless and doubting myself.  there were days when i was miserable.  i remember thinking "rationally, i know i am OBVIOUSLY not going to hurt my baby, but i can see a little clearer now why some less-supported new mothers end up leaving their babies in boxes on a church doorstep."

and this is coming from a mom who didn't have a stitch of PPD, had a local and loving extended family to come help, a baby who fed and slept just fine, a solid education into newborn care and developmental milestones, a BTDT group of new mommy friends who helped cook me meals for 3 weeks after i got home, and a helpful and devoted husband to care for me.  if i, who seemingly had everything going for me from a statistical perspective, wanted to sometimes just give up and run away, i shudder to think about the stress and pressure on the moms who have all the odds against them.  it's just rough when you bring a baby home.  it's rough all around for those first few months, for anyone and everyone, no matter how well you usually cope, no matter how little sleep you think you can function on, no matter how much help you have or how "good" your baby is.

regarding pregnancy, i had it EASY.  i can't complain.  but at the end, i remember feeling like my ankles and feet were so sore that i couldn't walk for even medium distances without starting to slow down and hobble/whine. 

sdo_082989

I must have been a freak. I didn't think recovery was bad at all. Pooping never hurt me, not even the first time PP. I wore regular pads and underwear. I actually have had periods that I bled more than PP. It didn't sting when I peed...I used my peri bottle for about 3 days but just because the warm water did feel good and I felt cleaner.

One thing I never heard about was how gross you would feel for the first couple of weeks. I never felt clean, maybe that was just me.

Sarahjess06

LalaMama81 said:

lilmama412 said:

Ha....that fuirst month after delivery is pure hell. No one ever told me how horrible the recovery would be. Try crying everytime you have to poop, using a spray bottle on your vag because you can't wipe after you pee, bleeding for a month straight, stitches itching like crazy in your vagina,  your boobs hurt like hell, you're STILL fat and can't fit into your regular clothes, and you are major sleep deprived. 

Eh, not everyone's experience is that bad. Pooping never made me cry, the worst of the bleeding was done by 10 days, I never expected to fit into regular clothes (who does?), etc. I did use the Peri bottle, but I thought it was great.

Wow! You are lucky! 10 days? Mine was a solid 3 weeks.

My vag officially hurts thinking about it again. I had to sit on a pillow for a good 2 weeks after, and I had to sleep on the couch for a month because it hurt way to bad to lift my legs into bed (stitches) nooooooot looking forward to all that again.

SeattleMomma

The only thing that made me crazy was the last few weeks. It's extremely hard to get comfortable. I went from the sofa, to the bed, to the floor. The pressure down below gets rough as well. I did the sneeze/cough pee pretty often.

Knufflebunny2

Right after you have the baby they push on your uterus every 15 minutes or so and look down your mesh panties to make sure you aren't bleeding too much. Also they say your baby only has the stomach the size of a walnut and will get full off colostrum before your milk comes in, but my babies always acted starving until my milk comes in. I have had to supplement with each until my milk comes in along with the breastfeeding.

joyfullyfound

LalaMama81 said:

Ha....that fuirst month after delivery is pure hell. No one ever told me how horrible the recovery would be. Try crying everytime you have to poop, using a spray bottle on your vag because you can't wipe after you pee, bleeding for a month straight, stitches itching like crazy in your vagina,  your boobs hurt like hell, you're STILL fat and can't fit into your regular clothes, and you are major sleep deprived. 

Eh, not everyone's experience is that bad. Pooping never made me cry, the worst of the bleeding was done by 10 days, I never expected to fit into regular clothes (who does?), etc. I did use the Peri bottle, but I thought it was great.

I totally agree with Lala. It's not as bad as other posters are making it sound... at least not for everyone. 

lilmama412

joyfullyfound said:

LalaMama81 said:

lilmama412 said:

Ha....that fuirst month after delivery is pure hell. No one ever told me how horrible the recovery would be. Try crying everytime you have to poop, using a spray bottle on your vag because you can't wipe after you pee, bleeding for a month straight, stitches itching like crazy in your vagina,  your boobs hurt like hell, you're STILL fat and can't fit into your regular clothes, and you are major sleep deprived. 

Eh, not everyone's experience is that bad. Pooping never made me cry, the worst of the bleeding was done by 10 days, I never expected to fit into regular clothes (who does?), etc. I did use the Peri bottle, but I thought it was great.

I totally agree with Lala. It's not as bad as other posters are making it sound... at least not for everyone. 


It was that bad for me. But I also had an insanely easy pregnancy, and even into the last weeks I wasn't uncomfortable, hurting or feeling pressure. My pregnancy was a cake walk, but the after math was hell. Everyone's experience is completely different.

SIR12

I am a STM and I still want to cry at the thought of the after birth period! The worst for me was the vag and bum pain. I tore really bad and had an episiotomy too.  Every time I pooped for months (almost a year after) I bled like crazy it felt like I was opening up my scar and the pain when pooping ... omg the pain.  But just like DS's colic it all ended eventually although pooping is still not the comfiest experience ever.  I felt like I wasn't prepared for all the PP bleeding, pain etc.

Navy_Redhead

Well, so far I'm the bleeding winner. It was 10 weeks for me before I could go without using a pad. I didn't tear horribly, and my son and gravity did most of the work for me. 2 mins of pushing and I had my beautiful little boy, (who is currently dancing his heart out to some Tom Petty right now, btw).

My milk came in very quickly. Before I got pregnant I was a 36C, towards the end of the pregnancy, I was a 40FF. When my milk came in, I did not have a bra that fit me for the drive home, and my breasts were each bigger than my head.

Lightning crotch is a bitch. That is truly the one part of pregnancy that I hated. It would happen if I was standing, walking, sitting, laying down, it just happened all the time. I couldn't cough or sneeze without peeing.

Make sure before the hospital gives you an IV, that it is pitocin free, unless you are intentionally inducing labor. My hospital did it without my consent, making it impossible for me to deliver without an epidural.

mandiroo

Bookmark this link, the undie sundae. This, or a close version of this can save your life the first week after birth. https://realnewmom.blogspot.com/2010/11/undie-sundae.html?m=1

beautifulstr13

I had a c-section and had the most horrific gas pain. No one ever warned me of that. I could barely hold my son. The ute pushers were also extremely painful. I almost cried when that nurse walked in. They gave me a suppository and that was horribly embarrassing not being able to reach to do it myself. I was in the hospital for 5 days from complications and I literally ate one bowl of broth the whole time I was there. I threw up the first real meal I had.

zoopsiedaisy

mandiroo said:

Bookmark this link, the undie sundae. This, or a close version of this can save your life the first week after birth.

https://realnewmom.blogspot.com/2010/11/undie-sundae.html?m=1

She just said vagina hives. This looks very helpful though. I think I'm gonna pin it.

MyNameWasTaken

Hm. I felt sore/swollen in my nether regions, had a bunch of hemmies (which I've been really prone to ever since), I bled a bunch, and was exhausted with round the clock nursing for the first few weeks. None of it was BAD, but I was pretty uncomfortable, and the fact that I also looked like shit made me feel worse.

MelBee12

Navy_Redhead said:

Well, so far I'm the bleeding winner. It was 10 weeks for me before I could go without using a pad. I didn't tear horribly, and my son and gravity did most of the work for me. 2 mins of pushing and I had my beautiful little boy, (who is currently dancing his heart out to some Tom Petty right now, btw). My milk came in very quickly. Before I got pregnant I was a 36C, towards the end of the pregnancy, I was a 40FF. When my milk came in, I did not have a bra that fit me for the drive home, and my breasts were each bigger than my head. Lightning crotch is a bitch. That is truly the one part of pregnancy that I hated. It would happen if I was standing, walking, sitting, laying down, it just happened all the time. I couldn't cough or sneeze without peeing. Make sure before the hospital gives you an IV, that it is pitocin free, unless you are intentionally inducing labor. My hospital did it without my consent, making it impossible for me to deliver without an epidural.

Shoot....I still can't cough/sneeze without peeing!!! lol

MelBee12

Ooopsbaby14 said:

Sex after delivery is strange for awhile. Nothing seems to be in the same places it was. All the bits and pieces eventually went back to normal, but for awhile I just didn't feel like myself!

Sex was actually better for me....I am WAYYY more sensitive down there than I ever was before having my son.

pineconey

Um. Thank...you...?
My vag hurts just thinking about April..

RedDawnsRevenge

I bled for 13 weeks straight after c/s

pineconey

Seriously, I need just like 1 puppy (even an ugly one) or part of a rainbow. Please and thank you.

BiggerinRealLife

Seriously, seriously crying now. I can't even make a joke to laugh at my own pain.

DIY7

I vomited laying down right before my c-section. It's normal. My dh was catching my vomit in a cup, it was romantic. I never knew how much you could bleed post a c-section, and nurses changing your pad is the most humbling experience in the world. 

nessabeers

I knew some of these things but hearing all of these things make me want to cry ( . These twins better go easy on their little mama... Please oh please I pray [-O<

baylorlinda

Hmisbell said:

This may sound crazy but the one of the best pain relieving things I did was freeze some pads for afterwards. Sweet relief!

I read that somewhere too. Good advice.

tcwink

I had an emergency c-section and the only thing that hurt was going poop, in fact the hospital wouldn't release us until I went poop! Was there an extra two days! When I got home the only other pain I had was nursing. Holy Hell that was hard. But after two weeks my LO and I figured it out and we were smooth sailing for a year:).

emanresu14

I just want to cry. Cry for the body and vagina and innocence I had, pre-pregnancy. Waaaahhh. Really I already love my beast! But can someone wave a magic wand over my abdomen and remove baby from womb and into my arms when it's time? My mom and MIL both say it's not that bad. They did it med free! Reading these (for a FTM) is like being an on looker to a terrible accident you just can't tear your eyes away from!!

Holljade

My girl bits were actually better off after birth. At the very end that area gets BIG and gross.I felt disgusting.

When you have your first period. Have drugs on hand. I needed painkillers for that shit.

ZebNMichelle

joyfullyfound said:

I pood on the delivery table. Most people do. And they tell you not to worry about it because you won't even know... well, I knew. I just didn't give a flying fuck at that point. 

I didn't tear or anything during delivery, so my nether regions weren't too bad after the initial swelling went down. Ice packs are your friend. I just remember how awful it was when my milk came in and my breasts were totally engorged... so uncomfortable! I was so glad to have a nursing baby to relieve the pressure... can't imagine how painful it would be if you were choosing not to BF for some reason  :-S

After pooping I replyed with " good thing I didn't eat corn"
My dr said Michelle you're pushing and still cracking jokes lol.
My mom " that's my girl"

k4slr6

jellysparkles said:

Knufflebunny2 said:

Right after you have the baby they push on your uterus every 15 minutes or so and look down your mesh panties to make sure you aren't bleeding too much. Also they say your baby only has the stomach the size of a walnut and will get full off colostrum before your milk comes in, but my babies always acted starving until my milk comes in. I have had to supplement with each until my milk comes in along with the breastfeeding.

I hated the ute pushers. I wanted to kick them in the face.

I grabbed one of their hands on accident. ..I was nervous bc I was post csection. She yelled at me.