It's unfortunate...

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

It's unfortunate that some women cannot come on here for advice and support. One simple topic got turned into something huge for no reason and I guess some women have nothing to do but to criticize each other on their keyboards. I'm sure I am going to hear about deleting what I said previously too but it was becoming too much and no I am not afraid or what I said or how I feel about it I just want all this unesscary arguing and rude comments to stop already

DivaMommy_312 · September 2013

If anyone in your family/ close friends are a member of a church you may be able to use the church's banquet/reception area for a decent price.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

DivaMommy_312 said:

If anyone in your family/ close friends are a member of a church you may be able to use the church's banquet/reception area for a decent price.

this is a good idea, thank you!

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

That's your whole problem! A shower is a gift, not a right!! No one has to throw you a shower, or give you gifts. You don't throw your own shower. Enough said.

these boards are supposed to be for advice and support from women who are in each others shoes no to start criticizing someone for something you are against - I am sorry that this is something I would like to have the experience of and am not asking someone to do it for me! We can call it something else if it would make you feel better??? For now maybe you should consider not saying anything at all if you have nothing nice to say in the first place

WookieesCookies · September 2013

Ya don't throw your own shower, that's just bad and you should feel bad. And what you are going for sounds like a colossal waste of money.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

WookieesCookies said:

Ya don't throw your own shower, that's just bad and you should feel bad. And what you are going for sounds like a colossal waste of money.

I just explained why I am doing this - why should I feel bad about wanting to celebrate my first born? why should I feel bad about throwing it myself instead expecting someone else to throw it for me? Especially when my close friends and family do not have the kind of money to be doing that anyways... we can call it what you like if the word "shower" freaks everyone else out

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

First off I am not bitching that no one can throw me one I am perfectly fine with that and do not expect no one to, I can afford to throw one just nothing extravagant that is what this whole post is about. As mentioned before if this upsets you for whatever reason then you do not need to post anything. I am not rude to you so I would appreciate the same respect. Thanks

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

That's your whole problem! A shower is a gift, not a right!! No one has to throw you a shower, or give you gifts. You don't throw your own shower. Enough said.

these boards are supposed to be for advice and support from women who are in each others shoes no to start criticizing someone for something you are against - I am sorry that this is something I would like to have the experience of and am not asking someone to do it for me! We can call it something else if it would make you feel better??? For now maybe you should consider not saying anything at all if you have nothing nice to say in the first place

You posted a message on a public forum on the internet.

Srsly? You're bitching no one can throw you a shower, and that you can't afford to throw your own, but gosh golly, you just are so excited and want to have the "Experience" of a baby shower!!

Sorry for not blowing glitter and rainbows up your tuckus. You'll find most of the ladies here will agree with me, though.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

MrsMuq said:
You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

Yup. All of this. 1000%.

Also, being your first child, excited and what have you doesn't excuse your tacky gift-grabby behavior. You are delusional to think that somehow that excuse would fly.

MamaP19 · September 2013

if people couldn't afford to throw you a shower, why would they offer? sounds like maybe the problem is that they can't afford to throw a shower the way you'd like it or with such a huge guest list.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

Savvysweet said:

I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.

thank you! this is exactly my point some ppl take this way too seriously and it's quite ridiculous - but I agree spending that much on a baby shower was getting to be too much! we are only looking to invite a few close friends and family because spending so much on an indoor space was becoming way too much

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Savvysweet said:
I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.

Except there is... Lets go over exactly what is wrong with throwing your own shower:

1) It's rude to throw a party where you are the guest of honor & gifts are expected. Showers are gift giving events by definition. You are essentially inviting other people to buy you things.

2) No, the party is not for the baby. It's to honor your entrance to motherhood. You are the guest of honor & all the gifts, by definition, are to help you rear your child.

3) A Meet The Baby or Sip n' See would make the baby the guest of honor. Big difference.

Again, you are not entitled to a shower. It is an honor that should be hosted by someone for you. Just because you don't have friends or family able/willing doesn't make it permissible to throw your own.

So call it whatever you want. If you are getting gifts to help you with baby then it's a shower no matter what cutesy or new name you call it.

Be an adult & prudent with that 2K. Think of the baby clothes, diapers, wipes whatever you could buy with it. Shit, you could put some aside for baby's first birthday. 2K is a lot to spend to invite people to give you things.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MamaP19 said:

if people couldn't afford to throw you a shower, why would they offer? sounds like maybe the problem is that they can't afford to throw a shower the way you'd like it or with such a huge guest list.

this is not the case at all - I understand that they would not be able to throw me one in the first place that is why I would not expect any one to offer which I do not mind either and why I am going to do it myself. I do not have a HUGE guest list I do have a big family which is my dilemma on being able to invite everyone that would like to come. All in all this is just a dinner with a few close friends and immediate family I am a simple girl and don't expect anything from anyone especially something so huge

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MrsMuq said:

Oh, and OP, the "flag" button is for spam or abuse, not a dislike button.

don't you have something better to do than look at this post every 5 seconds? grow up please - I will not argue with you back and forth for someone that cannot be open minded and likes to do nothing but judge and ridicule people for no apparent reason

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

Savvysweet said:

Some people just have nothing better in life then to be bitchy towards others for no reason Personally, I think it's just pathetic. Maybe it's because I have more substance in life.

haha I agree thank you!

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Savvysweet said:
Some people just have nothing better in life then to be bitchy towards others for no reason Personally, I think it's just pathetic. Maybe it's because I have more substance in life.

Lol you do realize that a smirky face doesn't make your comment any less passive-aggressive & bitchy right? Pot meet kettle.

Also, you don't know what my life is like. My life has so much substance that I didn't need to throw my own showers. I have dear, devoted friends/family that honored me with four of them. Probably because I don't act like a twatwaffle.

I think it's pathetic to throw your own gift giving event because you don't seem to have friends that WANT to honor you with a shower. What does that say about a person that no one wants to spend time/money on them? Yeah, it says a lot...

Also, my bitchy comes out for a pretty good reason. If someone is acting like an entitled, bratty child then yeah. That's a good reason. Also passive aggressive attempts to call me out are a good reason to bust out the bitch.

I own my bitchiness, cupcake. What about you?

MamaP19 · September 2013

Mommy2BMarG said:

MamaP19 said:

if people couldn't afford to throw you a shower, why would they offer? sounds like maybe the problem is that they can't afford to throw a shower the way you'd like it or with such a huge guest list.

this is not the case at all - I understand that they would not be able to throw me one in the first place that is why I would not expect any one to offer which I do not mind either and why I am going to do it myself. I do not have a HUGE guest list I do have a big family which is my dilemma on being able to invite everyone that would like to come. All in all this is just a dinner with a few close friends and immediate family I am a simple girl and don't expect anything from anyone especially something so huge

My mistake. I just reread your OP. I thought your family had offered to throw a shower for you, instead of offering to help with the one you're throwing. In the case of no one offering, I have to agree with @MrsMuq and @PrimRoseMama, you just don't have one then. You do realize that by having a shower, you are expecting things from those who attend -- you're expecting gifts. If all you're interested in is inviting close family & friends, save your money and have a sip n see.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

PrimRoseMama said:

I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.
Except there is... Lets go over exactly what is wrong with throwing your own shower: 1) It's rude to throw a party where you are the guest of honor & gifts are expected. Showers are gift giving events by definition. You are essentially inviting other people to buy you things. 2) No, the party is not for the baby. It's to honor your entrance to motherhood. You are the guest of honor & all the gifts, by definition, are to help you rear your child. 3) A Meet The Baby or Sip n' See would make the baby the guest of honor. Big difference. Again, you are not entitled to a shower. It is an honor that should be hosted by someone for you. Just because you don't have friends or family able/willing doesn't make it permissible to throw your own. So call it whatever you want. If you are getting gifts to help you with baby then it's a shower no matter what cutesy or new name you call it. Be an adult & prudent with that 2K. Think of the baby clothes, diapers, wipes whatever you could buy with it. Shit, you could put some aside for baby's first birthday. 2K is a lot to spend to invite people to give you things.

And you seem to be another one who does not understand the point of this post is because I DO NOT want to spend thousands of dollars on a baby shower! If you read on correctly it is becoming a small lunch gathering with close friends and immediate family so I will not be spending a ton of money for a "shower" rather than things I will be needing for my child - no one mentioned gifts nor am I asking or expecting any this is to celebrate my LO with the people I love - get over it

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MamaP19 said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MamaP19 said:

if people couldn't afford to throw you a shower, why would they offer? sounds like maybe the problem is that they can't afford to throw a shower the way you'd like it or with such a huge guest list.

this is not the case at all - I understand that they would not be able to throw me one in the first place that is why I would not expect any one to offer which I do not mind either and why I am going to do it myself. I do not have a HUGE guest list I do have a big family which is my dilemma on being able to invite everyone that would like to come. All in all this is just a dinner with a few close friends and immediate family I am a simple girl and don't expect anything from anyone especially something so huge

My mistake. I just reread your OP. I thought your family had offered to throw a shower for you, instead of offering to help with the one you're throwing. In the case of no one offering, I have to agree with @MrsMuq and @PrimRoseMama, you just don't have one then. You do realize that by having a shower, you are expecting things from those who attend -- you're expecting gifts. If all you're interested in is inviting close family & friends, save your money and have a sip n see.

I do not expect gifts from anyone and they're all aware of this - like I've mentioned before this is because I would like to celebrate becoming a new mother and my LO with the ppl that I love that is all - I have never heard of a sip n see either...

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

PrimRoseMama said:

I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.
Except there is... Lets go over exactly what is wrong with throwing your own shower: 1) It's rude to throw a party where you are the guest of honor & gifts are expected. Showers are gift giving events by definition. You are essentially inviting other people to buy you things. 2) No, the party is not for the baby. It's to honor your entrance to motherhood. You are the guest of honor & all the gifts, by definition, are to help you rear your child. 3) A Meet The Baby or Sip n' See would make the baby the guest of honor. Big difference. Again, you are not entitled to a shower. It is an honor that should be hosted by someone for you. Just because you don't have friends or family able/willing doesn't make it permissible to throw your own. So call it whatever you want. If you are getting gifts to help you with baby then it's a shower no matter what cutesy or new name you call it. Be an adult & prudent with that 2K. Think of the baby clothes, diapers, wipes whatever you could buy with it. Shit, you could put some aside for baby's first birthday. 2K is a lot to spend to invite people to give you things.

And you seem to be another one who does not understand the point of this post is because I DO NOT want to spend thousands of dollars on a baby shower! If you read on correctly it is becoming a small lunch gathering with close friends and immediate family so I will not be spending a ton of money for a "shower" rather than things I will be needing for my child - no one mentioned gifts nor am I asking or expecting any this is to celebrate my LO with the people I love - get over it

How fracking dense are you?!

A "Shower" is to "shower" the guest of honor (in this case, the MTB) with gifts.

By calling it a shower you are asking for gifts.

Unless you explicitly tell people/write "no gifts" on the invite, you'll be getting gifts. What portion of this do you not comprehend?

You just assume everything don't you? I am not surprised...

MamaP19 · September 2013

@PrimRoseMama - yay for finding a reason to use twatwaffle again! DH thinks i'm crazy for laughing so hard.

meemlove1 · September 2013

I randomly came to this thread for some helpful hints before deleting my account due to tasteless attacks from a lot of the (hopefully not

) mothers on this site, and just want to say that you're question was legitimate, I am in the same boat. Too bad people are more interested in ruining the conversation rather than throwing out ideas to keep the ball rolling.

I think it's ridiculous that the comments have been so black and white. There are a lot of fun options out there. Our best friends threw a BBQ, and on the invitation made it clear that no gifts were expected. My baby is due Feb 7th and obviously the weather wont be great for BBQing but maybe only invite enough people to have a gathering at your home or a friends home who can fit more. I believe is more of a celebration of new life and to embrace your family within a large circle of friends and family. Not how much money can you spend/receive.

I guess we will have to keep brainstorming!

Congrats on your new bebe and good luck finding something helpful here!

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

"Any shower is "gift-grubbing". It doesn't matter if someone throws it for you or not. If you don't want the gifts you wouldn't even let someone else throw one for you. If people don't want to give something they wont. I had people come to my wedding and no gift. I did not begrudge them. I was just happy they were there to share in my happiness.

And I personally don't give a crap about your little blog post. The fact that you have nothing better to do in life but come on here and belittle others because they are not like you is not very "polite". You obviously have no room to teach others about "tact" or "etiquette". So, as far as I'm concerned your just a tacky women with nothing else in life. "

@savvysweet : you obviously aren't savvy or sweet. You must very much care about the quality of my life because you took the time to act like a passive aggressive douche & comment on how pathetic I must be.

No, gift-grabby & graciously accepting the honor of a party where you are generously given gifts are two very separate things. Then again, your lack of class is so painfully evident that it doesn't surprise me in the least that you fail to recognize this very prudent fact.

I have so much in life because, unlike you & OP, I tend to act like an adult & look outside myself. It's obvious that this is a foreign concept to you. How sad.

I'm not flaming someone because they are not like me. I'm flaming you (@savvysweet) and OP because you aren't looking outside yourself & to the comfort of your guests. You are so caught up with this "me me me" and "I deserve this!" Mentality that it never occurs to you that you come off sounding like an entitled selfish person that is incapable of tact.

So, yes you are getting flamed, but your complete lack of self awareness makes it impossible for you to grasp why. Get a clue & grow up.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

QFP. I smell a DD coming on!

Mommy2BMarG said:
I have had a hard time finding a place to have the baby shower! She is due Feb 3rd so we are going to have it early January. We considered having it before the holidays but unfortunately my poor mommy is ill and will be having open heart surgery soon so I definitely don't want it around then...we could always have it outside with tents and heaters but I'm afraid it may rain and lots of recreation centers charge so much just to rent a room! We're talking $1000-$2000 now my bf and I will be paying the majority if everything ourselves my mother and father and siblings offered to help but they are also wanting to pay for the crib etc and we're all on budgets so I definitely wouldn't feel right accepting so much from them especially my mom and dad who will be paying for my mothers surgery too...we are considering having it in a banquet room at a nice restaurant where we would pay per person which limits us on who we can invite! Thank goodness a close coworker of mine is going to throw me one for work friends but I notice its a chain reaction with who I invite to mine too! It's like if I invite her I need to invite her husband or if I invite her I need to invite our other friend etc how do you recommend I deal with the ppl including some family members who would definitely like to go but I can't afford to invite them??

Also I've seen women on here saying how tacky it is that someone would throw their own baby shower but this is our first child and we are very excited for her and our family/friends aren't that well off to where they could afford to throw us one and no one other than my coworker (for coworkers only) has offered and I wouldn't dare ask anyone to either so please no rude comments about that

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

That's your whole problem! A shower is a gift, not a right!! No one has to throw you a shower, or give you gifts. You don't throw your own shower. Enough said.

these boards are supposed to be for advice and support from women who are in each others shoes no to start criticizing someone for something you are against - I am sorry that this is something I would like to have the experience of and am not asking someone to do it for me! We can call it something else if it would make you feel better??? For now maybe you should consider not saying anything at all if you have nothing nice to say in the first place

Mommy2BMarG said:

WookieesCookies said:

Ya don't throw your own shower, that's just bad and you should feel bad. And what you are going for sounds like a colossal waste of money.

I just explained why I am doing this - why should I feel bad about wanting to celebrate my first born? why should I feel bad about throwing it myself instead expecting someone else to throw it for me? Especially when my close friends and family do not have the kind of money to be doing that anyways... we can call it what you like if the word "shower" freaks everyone else out

Mommy2BMarG said:
First off I am not bitching that no one can throw me one I am perfectly fine with that and do not expect no one to, I can afford to throw one just nothing extravagant that is what this whole post is about. As mentioned before if this upsets you for whatever reason then you do not need to post anything. I am not rude to you so I would appreciate the same respect. Thanks

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

You are ridiculous.

You don't throw your own baby shower. I don't care if your SO is the dalai lama and you're giving birth to the next messiah. It's tacky, rude, inappropriate - pick your word - to throw your own gift-giving event.

And you can't even afford to throw a shower ! Don't have a party and go spend that $2K on something more worthwhile - like a crib and diapers.

And don't tell me how to respond, rude or not, to your asinine post!!!!

wow you're calling me ridiculous but look at how you can go off on someone you don't even know? I can't throw my own baby shower to celebrate becoming a mother and would like the ppl I love to celebrate with me? Who said I can't buy a crib and diapers? what's more inappropriate is me expecting someone to throw me one and expecting other to pay for it! I don't expect gifts especially expensive ones you're judging me for the wrong reasons smh

That's your whole problem! A shower is a gift, not a right!! No one has to throw you a shower, or give you gifts. You don't throw your own shower. Enough said.

these boards are supposed to be for advice and support from women who are in each others shoes no to start criticizing someone for something you are against - I am sorry that this is something I would like to have the experience of and am not asking someone to do it for me! We can call it something else if it would make you feel better??? For now maybe you should consider not saying anything at all if you have nothing nice to say in the first place

You posted a message on a public forum on the internet.

Srsly? You're bitching no one can throw you a shower, and that you can't afford to throw your own, but gosh golly, you just are so excited and want to have the "Experience" of a baby shower!!

Sorry for not blowing glitter and rainbows up your tuckus. You'll find most of the ladies here will agree with me, though.

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

Oh, and OP, the "flag" button is for spam or abuse, not a dislike button.

don't you have something better to do than look at this post every 5 seconds? grow up please - I will not argue with you back and forth for someone that cannot be open minded and likes to do nothing but judge and ridicule people for no apparent reason

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

meemlove1 said:

I randomly came to this thread for some helpful hints before deleting my account due to tasteless attacks from a lot of the (hopefully not ) mothers on this site, and just want to say that you're question was legitimate, I am in the same boat. Too bad people are more interested in ruining the conversation rather than throwing out ideas to keep the ball rolling.
I think it's ridiculous that the comments have been so black and white. There are a lot of fun options out there. Our best friends threw a BBQ, and on the invitation made it clear that no gifts were expected. My baby is due Feb 7th and obviously the weather wont be great for BBQing but maybe only invite enough people to have a gathering at your home or a friends home who can fit more. I believe is more of a celebration of new life and to embrace your family within a large circle of friends and family. Not how much money can you spend/receive.
I guess we will have to keep brainstorming!
Congrats on your new bebe and good luck finding something helpful here!

Thank you so much for this!! It is pretty sad that this is the way it is, but unfortunately everyone cannot be open minded, non-judgmental, or as easy going as us. A part of me wants to delete this post just for the non-sense that some women keep going on and on about. If they don't like it why spend so much time talking about it? I guess going hard core on their keyboard is something they live for haha

but honestly thank you so much! congrats to you as well!!

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

@savvysweet : wow your reading comprehension abilities are so sorely lacking. Bless your heart. I mean that.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Also lol at someone who is throwing their own shower calling me tacky. That's rich.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

@meemlove1 : trying to educate OP & @savvysweet (who appears to fit neither description) on how tasteless, tacky & rude they will appear IS giving her ideas to keep the ball rolling.

Throwing your own shower is a bad idea. Especially if you are already on a tight budget. It's not bitchy to actually take into consideration concerns outlined in the OP. Nobody offers a shower & it would be expensive if you throw your own? You don't get one. End of story.

Act like an adult & put your money elsewhere.

This generation of "me me me" "I deserve it right now" is so disheartening. What happened to folks being able to accept an honor & acting like big girls if no one honors them?

MamaP19 · September 2013

OP, you may not like what people are saying to you, that's the way it is with opinions, but they are 100% right about one thing: flagging people when it's not warranted will get you banned. If you like reading threads/posting on TB you need to quit. No one gave you any flag-worthy responses.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

Can you two say cyber bullies? Geez what is it with those two honestly?? They're still going on and on jumping down everyone's throats, criticizing, and judging everyone who has different opinions they do? No one is even taking the time to respond to them anymore and they're STILL making a bigger deal than this ever was or need to be. Calling themselves a bitch and being proud of it, telling others to grow up while they still pick on everyone else. These so called "women" and possibly mothers are no role models at all. Smh...it's really a shame and an embarrassment to themselves

Paradisemoon · September 2013

While I don't agree with throwing your own shower I wont belittle you. Maybe there is something else you could do? A sip and see would be a great idea. Everyone can get together, maybe bring a finger food, see the baby but they don't have to feel pressured into bringing a gift. There are also gender reveal parties (if only you know what your having) As you are already getting a shower from your co-workers you wont be without some stuff. When I was pregnant with my 1st my co-workers threw me a surprise shower and there was nothing left on the registry for my family to buy. Maybe you'll be just as blessed.

Regardless of what you do, I'm not invited and you're not asking any of us for money or a gift, so I don't really care! There are different customs and social norms all over the United States and the world. Do what you're comfortable with, the worst that could happen is nobody shows up.

P.S. I hope your mom does okay with her surgery.

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

You don't need a damn shower.

Mommy2BMarG · September 2013

Paradisemoon said:
While I don't agree with throwing your own shower I wont belittle you.
Maybe there is something else you could do? A sip and see would be a
great idea. Everyone can get together, maybe bring a finger food, see
the baby but they don't have to feel pressured into bringing a gift.
There are also gender reveal parties (if only you know what your having)
As you are already getting a shower from your co-workers you wont be
without some stuff. When I was pregnant with my 1st my co-workers threw
me a surprise shower and there was nothing left on the registry for my
family to buy. Maybe you'll be just as blessed.

Regardless of
what you do, I'm not invited and you're not asking any of us for money
or a gift, so I don't really care! There are different customs and
social norms all over the United States and the world. Do what you're
comfortable with, the worst that could happen is nobody shows up.

P.S. I hope your mom does okay with her surgery.

I appreciate this - you're right and I definitely don't expect anyone to agree with me which is fine but this is the type of advice I am looking for I have never heard of a sip n see till now so that's helpful. It's honestly just turning into a small catered lunch with close family and friends to celebrate with me and they all knw I do not expect gifts. Thank you for your help!

I hope my mom is okay also but we are all staying positive to keep her strong! Thank you again!!

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Savvysweet said:

I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.

LOL!!

"Hey everybody! I'm throwing a party for myself so you can give me presents and bring me food because I am soooo special!!"

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Savvysweet said:

Some people just have nothing better in life then to be bitchy towards others for no reason Personally, I think it's just pathetic. Maybe it's because I have more substance in life.

I find that extremely hard to believe.

Shezatuffy · September 2013

I agree with the sip and see idea.

@savvysweet. I think it's rude if you do choose to host your own shower to skip the unwrapping of gifts. You come off as greedy and selfish. People as boring as it may be want to see you open their gifts.

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Mommy2BMarG said:

MrsMuq said:

Oh, and OP, the "flag" button is for spam or abuse, not a dislike button.

don't you have something better to do than look at this post every 5 seconds? grow up please - I will not argue with you back and forth for someone that cannot be open minded and likes to do nothing but judge and ridicule people for no apparent reason

You are telling her to grow up? That is laughable coming from someone who can't get over themselves and says it's all about "Me, me, me!!"

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Savvysweet said:

Any shower is "gift-grubbing". It doesn't matter if someone throws it for you or not. If you don't want the gifts you wouldn't even let someone else throw one for you. If people don't want to give something they wont. I had people come to my wedding and no gift. I did not begrudge them.

MrsMuq said:

Savvysweet said:

I'm throwing my shower too. No matter what anyone else says, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I have almost no family here, and I'm not a girly girl with 50 close best buds. I do have a friend is helping, but everything is being OKed by me first. I, personally, hate showers because they always end up being so boring and most people are just looking at their watches to see how much longer they have to stay. The beauty of throwing my own shower is: no stupid games, no un-wrapping gifts for an hour, good food and friends (it will be co-ed) who are actually having a great time.

However, I think spending $2000 is a little crazy. I only spent $3500 on my total wedding. Especially if you're already having financial tightness, cut it. Have it at a family member's house, your house, a clubhouse, make it potluck, or make a trip to Costco for a few finger foods and fruit platters, etc. There is no reason to spend so much to host it. Be excited, but be responsible. Invite who you want. If it's going to cause you drama by not inviting someone, go ahead and invite them. They may just send the gift and not even come, or you'll be so busy with everyone else you won't have to really see them if you don't want to.

No. There is never a "right" reason to throw your own shower. It's tacky and gift-grabby.

Here you go: https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/baby-shower-etiquette-for-moms-to-be/

Any shower is "gift-grubbing". It doesn't matter if someone throws it for you or not. If you don't want the gifts you wouldn't even let someone else throw one for you. If people don't want to give something they wont. I had people come to my wedding and no gift. I did not begrudge them. I was just happy they were there to share in my happiness.

And I personally don't give a crap about your little blog post. The fact that you have nothing better to do in life but come on here and belittle others because they are not like you is not very "polite". You obviously have no room to teach others about "tact" or "etiquette". So, as far as I'm concerned your just a tacky women with nothing else in life.

OMG, you just keep getting better and better. WE are tacky? You are stupid.

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Mommy2BMarG said:

meemlove1 said:

I randomly came to this thread for some helpful hints before deleting my account due to tasteless attacks from a lot of the (hopefully not ) mothers on this site, and just want to say that you're question was legitimate, I am in the same boat. Too bad people are more interested in ruining the conversation rather than throwing out ideas to keep the ball rolling.
I think it's ridiculous that the comments have been so black and white. There are a lot of fun options out there. Our best friends threw a BBQ, and on the invitation made it clear that no gifts were expected. My baby is due Feb 7th and obviously the weather wont be great for BBQing but maybe only invite enough people to have a gathering at your home or a friends home who can fit more. I believe is more of a celebration of new life and to embrace your family within a large circle of friends and family. Not how much money can you spend/receive.
I guess we will have to keep brainstorming!
Congrats on your new bebe and good luck finding something helpful here!

Thank you so much for this!! It is pretty sad that this is the way it is, but unfortunately everyone cannot be open minded, non-judgmental, or as easy going as us. A part of me wants to delete this post just for the non-sense that some women keep going on and on about. If they don't like it why spend so much time talking about it? I guess going hard core on their keyboard is something they live for haha

but honestly thank you so much! congrats to you as well!!

Lucky for us the new format does not allow you to delete posts. You can't delete accounts either.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Mommy2BMarG said:
It's unfortunate that some women cannot come on here for advice and support. One simple topic got turned into something huge for no reason and I guess some women have nothing to do but to criticize each other on their keyboards. I'm sure I am going to hear about deleting what I said previously too but it was becoming too much and no I am not afraid or what I said or how I feel about it I just want all this unesscary arguing and rude comments to stop already

Fortunately for us I quoted your original post. So this little diatribe was unnecessary. You got advice. I cannot support something I disagree with. Sorry, but not sorry.

Again, here you go with the entitlement thing. You feel entitled to support. Nope. Folks disagree & this being a public forum are free to express themselves as long as it doesn't violate TOU. We are not required to agree, post nice things, skip a post, or anything else if we don't feel like it. Welcome to the Internet.

You & @savvysweet don't seem to be able to grasp that you aren't the center of the universe. Seriously, look into practicing self awareness. You are still going about what YOU want. It's all about you.

Part of being a mature adult is learning that you can't always get what you want just because you a) want it b) want it now.

So yeah, deleting your OP was pointless.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Also @mommy2bmarg nothing in my post above was flag-worthy. Abuse of the flag feature can get you banned permanently (by IP) from the site. It is not a dislike button. Read the guidelines and get a clue.

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