It's unfortunate...

PetuniaFeatherbottom

Too bad I missed out on the original posts. This was getting juicy. Anyway, throw yourself a party; don't worry about what other people think. Pretty sure none of us will be invited anyway! Seriously, it's your prerogative, and I hope you have a chance to be happy with your pregnancy and motherhood. It's hard sometimes, but it should also be joyful.

BallSox

Kentingh said:

To all you bitches bitching about this ridiculousness. Why in the HELL do You care so much about what others do? Who made up the shower etiquette? Probably a woman who doesn't believe you should throw your own shower. People are under different circumstances for different reasons and there is no degree in whether or not to throw yourself a shower. Just shut up. Enjoy the shower you're getting and leave others alone when they decide to throw their own.

Meery82

Kentingh said:

To all you bitches bitching about this ridiculousness. Why in the HELL do You care so much about what others do? Who made up the shower etiquette? Probably a woman who doesn't believe you should throw your own shower. People are under different circumstances for different reasons and there is no degree in whether or not to throw yourself a shower. Just shut up. Enjoy the shower you're getting and leave others alone when they decide to throw their own.

You're clueless. Be gone.

Kentingh

I read the first three pages in and that was enough for me. I stand by what I said.

Empireceo

Kentingh said:

I read the first three pages in and that was enough for me. I stand by what I said.

*shrug* Some stupid can't be helped.

Michelle N

I would just like to say... irregardless is not really a word. 

Also, OP, the "financial burden" of a child is YOUR 'burden'. Don't throw yourself a shower. If nobody wants to throw you one, (and I just can't see why ), you don't get one. 

Filetminyana

Holy crap what is wrong with everyone?  who cares if she wants to throw herself a baby shower?!  its totally up to her and if you don't like it then its a good thing you don't know her outside of this website!  Seriously, baby shower etiquette??? get a life!!! do whateber the hell you want to do and don't waste your time arguing with angry pregnant women!!!!!!!  this is supposed to be a happy time....quit being so miserable!!  you are killing my juice buzz!!! CRAP!

apostle85

Tess024 said:

I'm not for/against throwing your own shower.. People are going to do what they want. We can just give ADVICE... I don't know why everyone is getting offended on either side of the fence.

but irregardless... If you do not get thrown a "formal" shower by anyone, I would say to still do a registry in case people still want to get you gifts. If people really want to give you gifts, they will give them to you if you have a shower or not. If they don't get you a gift, then perhaps they were not going to go to the shower anyways? But you can't be upset if no one gets you anything. Some people may have shown up to the shower w/o a gift. It happens at weddings, I imagine it happens at these things too..

I don't know, that's just how I feel... If people care, they will show it.

Could not agree more with this.  I equate throwing your own baby shower to throwing your own bridal shower, they are both a privileged not something you do for yourself.  You could call the party something other than a shower, tell people on the invite that gifts are not necessary and maybe have a luncheon to celebrate motherhood or something.  Invite other mom's you know and your close friends and call it a day.  Your budget for this is also half of what I spent on my wedding, which makes me see why people are upset.  There is no need to spend 2k on a shower. 

KaylaOjeda

Every time I read threads like this I'm just singing in my head "why can't we be friends why can't we be friends why can't we be friendddsss"
On a side note me and my boyfriend are throwing a little party for ourselves. I guess you can call it a "shower". There will be games and food, but no gift will be expected. And I know everyone's like blah blah blah unless you say don't bring gift people will. Well our friends know us well enough to know that we don't expect them to bring anything and if they do that's because they want to. We aren't being "greedy" and we aren't throwing it so everyone will buy us stuff because we don't want to buy our baby stuff! We just want to celebrate with our friends (and I just want an excuse for a BBQ with delicious food). And as for "proper etiquette" who fucking cares!! Not one single person we have invited was like "OMG you're throwing a baby shower for yourself that's so tacky!" And if they thinks it's tacky they don't have to come. If you don't have advice or anything nice to say you should just scroll on to the next post. It's not that hard to ignore things you find annoying or tacky.

Meery82

KaylaOjeda said:

Every time I read threads like this I'm just singing in my head "why can't we be friends why can't we be friends why can't we be friendddsss" On a side note me and my boyfriend are throwing a little party for ourselves. I guess you can call it a "shower". There will be games and food, but no gift will be expected. And I know everyone's like blah blah blah unless you say don't bring gift people will. Well our friends know us well enough to know that we don't expect them to bring anything and if they do that's because they want to. We aren't being "greedy" and we aren't throwing it so everyone will buy us stuff because we don't want to buy our baby stuff! We just want to celebrate with our friends (and I just want an excuse for a BBQ with delicious food). And as for "proper etiquette" who fucking cares!! Not one single person we have invited was like "OMG you're throwing a baby shower for yourself that's so tacky!" And if they thinks it's tacky they don't have to come. If you don't have advice or anything nice to say you should just scroll on to the next post. It's not that hard to ignore things you find annoying or tacky.

Who fucking cares about proper etiquette? You're right, who cares about being polite and considerate. Those qualities are overrated, right? If you haven't noticed, people on this forum give honest, helpful answers. Personally, I prefer honesty over phony, blow-smoke-up-ass answers. But I guess maybe honesty is overrated, too, huh?

lollipoppoop

KaylaOjeda said:

Every time I read threads like this I'm just singing in my head "why can't we be friends why can't we be friends why can't we be friendddsss" On a side note me and my boyfriend are throwing a little party for ourselves. I guess you can call it a "shower". There will be games and food, but no gift will be expected. And I know everyone's like blah blah blah unless you say don't bring gift people will. Well our friends know us well enough to know that we don't expect them to bring anything and if they do that's because they want to. We aren't being "greedy" and we aren't throwing it so everyone will buy us stuff because we don't want to buy our baby stuff! We just want to celebrate with our friends (and I just want an excuse for a BBQ with delicious food). And as for "proper etiquette" who fucking cares!! Not one single person we have invited was like "OMG you're throwing a baby shower for yourself that's so tacky!" And if they thinks it's tacky they don't have to come. If you don't have advice or anything nice to say you should just scroll on to the next post. It's not that hard to ignore things you find annoying or tacky.

lol at the bolded, really?

KaylaOjeda

When I say who cares about proper etiquette I was referring to throwing your own baby showers. Throwing my own baby shower may make me takcy, but it sure as hell doesn't mean I am not polite or considerate. I'm not saying that no one on here gives great and honest advice, because some people do but most of what I've read in here is just criticism.

NerdyLucy

Filetminyana said:

Holy crap what is wrong with everyone?  who cares if she wants to throw herself a baby shower?! 

You do realize that when you come to a public forum and ask for opinions, people are going to give their opinions, correct?  That's typically how it works. 

 

The OP may love those opinions, or the OP may hate those opinions, but either way, they ASKED for them.

Kfran84

KaylaOjeda said:

Every time I read threads like this I'm just singing in my head "why can't we be friends why can't we be friends why can't we be friendddsss"

-------

We can't be friends because I'm not friends with the kind of people who throw their own showers. Or BBQs disguised as showers.

Because if you can't figure out not to host your own gift giving event and say EFF IT to manners, I assume you don't hold the door for people behind you and don't give up your public transit seat to the elderly. You probably don't say thank you when the waiter brings out your meal. You probably don't let the guy with one item go in front of you in line at the grocery store. Basically, you don't give a shit about being polite and you make the world a worse place to live.

Thank God you're in the slim minority around here, but that should answer the recurring question in your mind about why we can't be friends.

Liz4444

KaylaOjeda said:

Every time I read threads like this I'm just singing in my head "why can't we be friends why can't we be friends why can't we be friendddsss" On a side note me and my boyfriend are throwing a little party for ourselves. I guess you can call it a "shower". There will be games and food, but no gift will be expected. And I know everyone's like blah blah blah unless you say don't bring gift people will. Well our friends know us well enough to know that we don't expect them to bring anything and if they do that's because they want to. We aren't being "greedy" and we aren't throwing it so everyone will buy us stuff because we don't want to buy our baby stuff! We just want to celebrate with our friends (and I just want an excuse for a BBQ with delicious food). And as for "proper etiquette" who fucking cares!! Not one single person we have invited was like "OMG you're throwing a baby shower for yourself that's so tacky!" And if they thinks it's tacky they don't have to come. If you don't have advice or anything nice to say you should just scroll on to the next post. It's not that hard to ignore things you find annoying or tacky.

And the reason you can't have a BBQ just for the sake of having a BBQ is? Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean every gathering has to focus around it. Invite people over for a BBQ, say we are having a BBQ. No mention of pregnant, baby, present, just BBQ, easy!

Liz4444

KaylaOjeda said:

When I say who cares about proper etiquette I was referring to throwing your own baby showers. Throwing my own baby shower may make me takcy, but it sure as hell doesn't mean I am not polite or considerate.

Actually, that's exactly what it means.

SparkySharky

We're just talking about a shower here, right? 

OP, if you want to throw yourself a shower, go right ahead. The only thing to learn from this is not, "Is it tacky to throw your own shower?" but "Why am I letting this cause me stress when I'm pregnant?" 

SparkySharky

Oh, and, you shouldn't take advice on tactfulness, politeness, and consideration from people who are not tactful, polite, or considerate.

PrimRoseMama

SparkySharky said:

Oh, and, you shouldn't take advice on tactfulness, politeness, and consideration from people who are not tactful, polite, or considerate.

Awe so cute!

Meery82

Oh, and, you shouldn't take advice on tactfulness, politeness, and consideration from people who are not tactful, polite, or considerate.

Awe so cute!

And so clueless! 8->

ChantalleLG

Wow I know this thread is expected to receive some opinions, but geez, some of them are just plain mean.  Whether you think that throwing your own shower is rude and not basic etiquette, calling each other stupid, greedy, spoiled, etc. is mean girl material.  I'm a new mom to be and just started following these boards and didn't expect it from this site, but I guess you can always be proved wrong.  

It's ok to think what she's doing is wrong, but suggest a sip and see or other options.  Some new mom's don't know about the different ways of celebrating a baby other than a shower.  When I was younger I didn't know showers were thrown by others.  Also, I associate a baby shower with a Bridal shower too.  There are tons of brides in the present day that host their own bridal showers and I rarely see it frowned upon.  

My hubby, friends, and family are throwing my shower and they want me very involved primarily because I am good at party planning and decorating.  I don't see anything wrong with that either.  

Anyway, good luck to all! 

ChantalleLG

@NerdyLucy well said!

mrscrcalli

Just lurking from A14 :-h
All I got out of this is someone said "irregardless" and well, that's not a word.. Carry on.

Tallulahsmom

While I agree that throwing your own baby shower can be kind of tacky I do understand why some would choose to do so. What I do not understand is the need some of you have to rip this person down. You are grown women. If you don't agree with her why don't you just say "I feel it would be tacky" and give your suggestions and move on. Surely there is something more constructive you could be doing right now. I know that I have better things to do than follow someone around a public forum for the sole purpose of name calling and hateful rhetoric.

As for the original post. I would suggest throwing a bbq or dinner party and just calling it a celebration. Let everyone know that gifts are not necessary. This way you get to celebrate the birth of your first and you don't come off as greedy. GL!

lollipoppoop

golfergirl08 said:

ChantalleLG said:

Wow I know this thread is expected to receive some opinions, but geez, some of them are just plain mean.  Whether you think that throwing your own shower is rude and not basic etiquette, calling each other stupid, greedy, spoiled, etc. is mean girl material.  I'm a new mom to be and just started following these boards and didn't expect it from this site, but I guess you can always be proved wrong.  

It's ok to think what she's doing is wrong, but suggest a sip and see or other options.  Some new mom's don't know about the different ways of celebrating a baby other than a shower.  When I was younger I didn't know showers were thrown by others.  Also, I associate a baby shower with a Bridal shower too.  There are tons of brides in the present day that host their own bridal showers and I rarely see it frowned upon.  

My hubby, friends, and family are throwing my shower and they want me very involved primarily because I am good at party planning and decorating.  I don't see anything wrong with that either.  

Anyway, good luck to all! 

I am surprised that no one has said to you that this is rude... it has always been frowned upon. I have never heard of anyone I know throwing their own bridal or baby showers. And I would think it was greedy if they did. Just my opinion (and it is the general opinion on this board).

Someone else throwing your shower and you helping with input is not the same thing at all. You are not throwing your own shower.

Exactly, just because someone doesn't say it out loud to your face doesn't mean they don't think its rude.  Trust me at least 1/2 the people you invite will think its tacky as hell.

ChantalleLG

@golfergirl08 @citrusXoXo you girls missed the point of my post... You don't have to explain to me why it's rude, after 139 posts later, I GET IT!  What I was trying to point out was that the name calling is uncalled for.  I also said that people can leave suggestions, as opposed to calling her rude or tacky and leaving it at that.  The point was for her to get advice and other suggestions, not just have 100 women call her rude, tacky, greedy, bratty, spoiled, etc.  My other point was that maybe the OP and other women may not know, just like I did not know when I was younger (please know that I had knowledge of this prior to this blog, I'm 29 years old I was referring to my early 20s when some friends were getting married, etc).  Sometimes you have to put yourself in others shoes before you assume anything.  Maybe she is the first in her friends of family to have a baby so she sees Baby Shower pictures on thebump.com and assumes she is "entitled" to have one, who the hell knows?!  

Anyway, maybe my pregnancy brain doesn't allow me to verbally get my point across, but @Tallulahsmom couldn't have put it better myself. 

PrimRoseMama

ChantalleLG said:

Wow I know this thread is expected to receive some opinions, but geez, some of them are just plain mean.  Whether you think that throwing your own shower is rude and not basic etiquette, calling each other stupid, greedy, spoiled, etc. is mean girl material.  I'm a new mom to be and just started following these boards and didn't expect it from this site, but I guess you can always be proved wrong.  

It's ok to think what she's doing is wrong, but suggest a sip and see or other options.  Some new mom's don't know about the different ways of celebrating a baby other than a shower.  When I was younger I didn't know showers were thrown by others.  Also, I associate a baby shower with a Bridal shower too.  There are tons of brides in the present day that host their own bridal showers and I rarely see it frowned upon.  

My hubby, friends, and family are throwing my shower and they want me very involved primarily because I am good at party planning and decorating.  I don't see anything wrong with that either.  

Anyway, good luck to all! 

Yeah, you are new. Stick around and you will see that people are opinionated. That doesn't make them "mean". Disagreements happen. Your situation is different than the OP's and @savvysweet 's . You really shouldn't be THAT involved in your shower. However, you aren't throwing it yourself because you are a control freak. That's the main difference. Usually people that are tacky/impolite/rude, not saying that you are by the way, don't "see anything wrong" with what they are doing either. 

They are either a.)ignorant of how etiquette works to provide respect/comfort to their guests b.) don't care and want what they want right now or c.) both. 

It IS greedy/bratty/spoiled to throw a gift-giving event where you are the guest of honor for yourself. There is no way around that. Its fact. 

I refuse to put myself in someone else's shoes if what they are doing is rude to other people. There is empathy for a truly sad situation, but I can't empathize with someone who doesn't look to respect their guests/people in their lives. 

Even if you see other peoples' baby shower pictures doesn't automatically mean that you get one. To assume that or expect that is also a demonstration of immaturity and entitlement. I don't know if you are having a hard time grasping that, but it appears that this is the case. I don't know how else to explain it, but just because we disagree passionately doesn't mean we are "mean girls' or anything like that. 

Just to put this out there, the posters throwing their own shower also were calling people "bitchy, bullies" you name it. Why is it that the ones who are pointing out the obvious (tacky, bratty behavior) are the only ones who get called out for supposedly "mean" behavior? Why doesn't the street go both ways? Please explain this to me. 

PrimRoseMama

@OliviaF0513 : Except you only quoted me...

Its not rude to point out that we disagree, the very valid reasons why, and educate someone who is clearly ignorant. We are actually trying to do them a service so they don't embarass themselves. Its sad that folks see these explanations as "mean girl" things as opposed to education. That's on them though. Another mark of immaturity that seems to run rampant on the "give it to me now. I DESERVE it" type poster. There are so many of them these days. Very very sad, IMHO. 

To address your points:

1.) No one has a RIGHT to a baby shower. Its an honor. To think you have a right to it appears self-centered, gift-grabby and bratty. You have a right to have kids whenever you want. You have a right to purchase your own items to provide for your child. You have many rights, but a baby shower is not one of them. Please please get this notion out of the picture. Its wrong. 

2.) Generally, I don't know anyone who throws their own birthday party. The same rules would apply. Its rude to invite people over to give you things. If someone throws a bday party for you or you throw one for your child then that is different. I know there are some smart people (or I like to believe this) on these boards. Why, oh why, is this concept hard to understand. A party where you are guest of honor should be thrown for you. Otherwise it looks like you are asking for gifts. That's rude. 

3.) My parents live across the country and across oceans. I still had coworkers and friends throw me showers. It doesn't matter if their family or friends are not physically close by to throw a shower. It doesn't entitle you or force you to throw your own. If no one offers, then you don't get one. Tough cookies. Sucks, not gonna lie, but still not a viable excuse to throw your own. 

4.) You may not be able to "help the situation you are in" but you CAN help it by simply putting your big girl panties on and dealing with not having a shower unless its thrown for you. I'm sorry, but you are about to be a mother. You won't get to shower, eat, sleep whenever you want to when the kid arrives either.  You won't be able to "help your situation" either. You are just going to have to adjust to not getting everything you want all the time. Again, a mark of maturity. Grow up. 

Beckel84

I usually lurk because this is such crap drama. But I would like to add that not everyone lives in Martha Stewart's-Conneccticut-blue-blood polite society where you have to follow special rules abut parties. I don't live or travel in circles where Showers are thrown and registries are made for every occasion in life; where gifts are asked for (on said registries) and expected to be forked over at the door. I got married in a court house, I'm an orphan, I never had a birthday party, my sister lives 3000 miles away and is a single mom transplant survivor on disability. I have moved too often to have any meaningful friends, except those I've made from work. Thus, I have no one to offer a shower. I get it. But, I have a great group of 20 ex coworker friends that are 200 miles from me. So when I found out I was having my first child, I sent them invites for a "Reunion Potluck/Baby Party" to celebrate my little one. We used to have pot lucks all the time. I wanted something special, just once. I have no one to throw me a "shower" so I'm throwing my own PARTY. I specifically said in the invites, this isn't a shower, gifts are not required/expected. If given they'll be opened privately and be between you and I. The 2 women helping me coordinate invites were thrilled. I asked them/respect them enough to answer honestly if this was tacky, they said no! It's next weekend and everyone is so excited to see each other for the first time in almost 2 years. Life is complicated. Perhaps OP was naive in saying she's throwing her own shower, call it a party. Whatever. I am doing this, my own version of a shower. I know the people I'm with don't think badly of me for it, they get it. Everyone lives life differently. I personally think it's tacky to create a registry for anything, ever. It's like, "'here's a list of the things I want, you go buy them for me." A gift should be given freely, always, never listed out and asked for.

Beckel84

Oops one more thing. My current coworkers here are 5 wonderful, younger women like myself who are of a more urban, working class environment. They, also understanding my circumstances, actually advised me TO throw my own shower. At first, it never crossed my mind, but they said I should definitely throw my own shower, that it "helps a lot." As I explained, I knew I shouldn't do that, exactly, but I did want a celebration. So there are plenty out there who do/would throw their own.

lollipoppoop

ChantalleLG said:

@golfergirl08 @citrusXoXo you girls missed the point of my post... You don't have to explain to me why it's rude, after 139 posts later, I GET IT!  What I was trying to point out was that the name calling is uncalled for.  I also said that people can leave suggestions, as opposed to calling her rude or tacky and leaving it at that.  The point was for her to get advice and other suggestions, not just have 100 women call her rude, tacky, greedy, bratty, spoiled, etc.  My other point was that maybe the OP and other women may not know, just like I did not know when I was younger (please know that I had knowledge of this prior to this blog, I'm 29 years old I was referring to my early 20s when some friends were getting married, etc).  Sometimes you have to put yourself in others shoes before you assume anything.  Maybe she is the first in her friends of family to have a baby so she sees Baby Shower pictures on thebump.com and assumes she is "entitled" to have one, who the hell knows?!  

Anyway, maybe my pregnancy brain doesn't allow me to verbally get my point across, but @Tallulahsmom couldn't have put it better myself. 

ChantalleLG I would reply but you can refer to what @PrimRoseMama said above.  Pretty much sums it up.

PrimRoseMama

Joy2611 said:

Manners and good etiquette are not bound by social class or financial wealth.  They come from and are followed by those who are mature and care more about other people's feelings/wallets/circumstances than their own.  Last I learned, that was NOT limited to Martha Stewart or "blue bloods."

I don't know why this is such a hard concept to understand. 

You don't ask people to bring a dish AND a gift AND a book instead of a card AND a present wrapped in receiving blankets AND something to drink to a party that you are throwing yourself.  You're standing there in a middle of a room with nothing and telling people "BRING ME STUFFF!!!!!!"  It's just so ass-backwards. 

Slow clap!

WashingtonQueen

It's amazing all the reasons and excuses people come up with to be self-centered, rude and tacky.

Beckel84

Joy2611 said:

Manners and good etiquette are not bound by social class or financial wealth.  They come from and are followed by those who are mature and care more about other people's feelings/wallets/circumstances more than their own.  Last I learned, that was NOT limited to Martha Stewart or "blue bloods."

I don't know why this is such a hard concept to understand. 

You don't ask people to bring a dish AND a gift AND a book instead of a card AND a present wrapped in receiving blankets AND something to drink to a party that you are throwing yourself.  You're standing there in a middle of a room with nothing and telling people "BRING ME STUFFF!!!!!!"  It's just so ass-backwards. 

Can you not read? I specifically told them not to bring a gift. It is a potluck celebration, not a baby shower. I am providing the room, main dish, drinks, silverware, decorations, cake, etc.. Which I told them. You don't know us so you don't know that we celebrated everything for 8 years of our time together with potlucks, so it felt right. They love the idea. My point is every etiquette rule doesn't apply to all people or situations in life. I say again, life is complicated. For me, and the people I know, this is a great experience. We don't live by definitions, we give gifts as GIFTS, not because it's some rule. We have parties to CELEBRATE each other, not to invite 80 random neighbors and acquaintances JUST to get gifts.

WashingtonQueen

That's weird, it looks like the bump ate my post.

It's amazing all the reasons and excuses people come up with to be self-centered, rude and tacky.

Meery82

Looks like this post has brought out a bunch of ignorant white knights. Quit whining and spewing lame excuses about why you or your friend MUST throw their own shower. Quit whining about how mean we are for telling the OP that throwing your own shower is rude. It's solid advice. We are trying to do you rude, clueless fools a favor by saving you from looking stupid and self centered. You should be thanking us! I know some of you denser folks still aren't going to understand all this, but either way, YOU'RE WELCOME!

SM1129

Not sure what the original post was about, I think that t doesnt matter if you have a baby shower bbq or a celebration of life. If choose to plan the event then that is awesome. My mom threw my baby showers. But the unfortuthing is she passed 2 years ago. Not only did she plan my shower but she was there for both births. so Im in the same boat. I have a friend say if I wanted she would help. But I refuse to put all that on another person. I aslo thought about having a celebration for after the baby born so everyone can meet him/her.  Hopefully everything works out for u, and congrats on your baby!!!

ChantalleLG

@PrimRoseMama @CitrusXoXo Again, I did not ask for a damn explanation!!!!  I don't need to hear again for the thousandth time what I already know about the basic etiquette of a shower!!! 

You opinionated women just can't seem to get my point.  I am sorry, but I do agree that you can say it's rude or tacky (I never said that was wrong read my point again).  But calling her stupid, spoiled, bratty, greedy are insult words.  When I said put yourself in her shoes, does not mean sympathize with her!  That's something my mom taught me when I was little to never insult a person or assume why they behave a certain way unless you are in their shoes because you never know.  The best advice any mother can give to a child, which I will give to mine as well.  Put yourself in her shoes as in maybe no one has ever told her prior to this blog the "basic etiquette" for throwing a party.  Maybe she doesn't know that a shower is to be thrown by others and not yourself.  And ignorant, really?  How about uninformed?  

I don't even know why I keep coming back to this crap because it is absolutely USELESS!  I rest my case because I know 3 other women will give me the run around about the basic etiquette of having a shower thrown for you, which I've already been well aware of for several years.  My baby doesn't deserve this petty stress anyhow.  

Love and light to all!  

Meery82

ChantalleLG said:

@PrimRoseMama @CitrusXoXo Again, I did not ask for a damn explanation!!!!  I don't need to hear again for the thousandth time what I already know about the basic etiquette of a shower!!! 

You opinionated women just can't seem to get my point.  I am sorry, but I do agree that you can say it's rude or tacky (I never said that was wrong read my point again).  But calling her stupid, spoiled, bratty, greedy are insult words.  When I said put yourself in her shoes, does not mean sympathize with her!  That's something my mom taught me when I was little to never insult a person or assume why they behave a certain way unless you are in their shoes because you never know.  The best advice any mother can give to a child, which I will give to mine as well.  Put yourself in her shoes as in maybe no one has ever told her prior to this blog the "basic etiquette" for throwing a party.  Maybe she doesn't know that a shower is to be thrown by others and not yourself.  And ignorant, really?  How about uninformed?  

I don't even know why I keep coming back to this crap because it is absolutely USELESS!  I rest my case because I know 3 other women will give me the run around about the basic etiquette of having a shower thrown for you, which I've already been well aware of for several years.  My baby doesn't deserve this petty stress anyhow.  

Love and light to all!  

Ignorant = uninformed. Just wanted to inform you. 

ChantalleLG

@Meery82 OH I am totally aware!  It's called choice words.  Plus the thesaurus is my best friend, that's where I got uninformed from  :-*