FFFC?

KellersPrag · September 2013

Let's play.

redneckmomma25 · September 2013

SpoofLeJones said:

mrssqueegy said:
I still use the word 'retarded' in conversation and have been trying really hard to stop. DH and I have been trying to replace it with 'ridiculous'. Using that word is still very common where I live and no one makes a big deal out of it even though we should.
It is common here too. In fact, I had never heard of anyone being genuinely offended by it until I joined TB.

Same here. I got flamed for using it in a post.

I also would never call someone who has a handicap retarded. I do think the word can be used to describe certain situations or things. I also think people can be retarded in their thinking. I do not fully comprehend it being offensive unless being used to describe someone who is in fact handicapped. I'm sure I am wrong. I just don't understand it. Let the flames fly.

I am taking a teething baby to get shots.

mrsbhk22 · September 2013

Edit: decided I didn't want this on the interwebs.

jbBeans · September 2013

redneckmomma25 said:

I still use the word 'retarded' in conversation and have been trying really hard to stop. DH and I have been trying to replace it with 'ridiculous'. Using that word is still very common where I live and no one makes a big deal out of it even though we should.
It is common here too. In fact, I had never heard of anyone being genuinely offended by it until I joined TB.
Same here. I got flamed for using it in a post. I also would never call someone who has a handicap retarded. I do think the word can be used to describe certain situations or things. I also think people can be retarded in their thinking. I do not fully comprehend it being offensive unless being used to describe someone who is in fact handicapped. I'm sure I am wrong. I just don't understand it. Let the flames fly. I am taking a teething baby to get shots.

I used to say it and stopped, knowing that people found it offensive.

But I do agree it's one of those kind of odd things, because now you definitely wouldn't use it to describe something with a mental handicap (I don't even know what the PC term is these days...). That would be considered offensive by many, too, because the word took on different connotations. I think it perhaps has to do with the history of people with mental handicaps being treated poorly, much as the way we're sensitive to race issues. You're always battling that legacy with a population that has suffered abuse before. But... I'm just fishing for ideas here--I'm not trying to make an argument.

But in effect, the word "retarded" is now generally a bad word--is there even an appropriate context to use it in at this point?

AlinnJo · September 2013

So Quinn hasn't received a book from the book exchange. When I bought the book for my person, my husband (jokingly) made fun of me for buying something for someone I met on the internet. I told him to shove it and also justified it by telling him Quinn would get one too.

Her birthday was a week ago and still nothing. I'm wondering if she'll get one at all. While that's the chance you take with internet people, I'm annoyed my husband was right. I'm tempted to send Quinn a book myself, so I can say I was right.

BillyMollyEmmy · September 2013

AlinnJo said:

So Quinn hasn't received a book from the book exchange. When I bought the book for my person, my husband (jokingly) made fun of me for buying something for someone I met on the internet. I told him to shove it and also justified it by telling him Quinn would get one too.

Her birthday was a week ago and still nothing. I'm wondering if she'll get one at all. While that's the chance you take with internet people, I'm annoyed my husband was right. I'm tempted to send Quinn a book myself, so I can say I was right.

If your book doesn't arrive, I will send you one, because I think that's really effing shitty of someone to agree to send a child a book and then not do it. I hope that's not the case.

thebanich · September 2013

I still eat CFA.

And I really don't feel bad about it.

* Except that some of their foods have MSG. WTELF CFA?

BillyMollyEmmy · September 2013

SpoofLeJones said:

So Quinn hasn't received a book from the book exchange. When I bought the book for my person, my husband (jokingly) made fun of me for buying something for someone I met on the internet. I told him to shove it and also justified it by telling him Quinn would get one too.

Her birthday was a week ago and still nothing. I'm wondering if she'll get one at all. While that's the chance you take with internet people, I'm annoyed my husband was right. I'm tempted to send Quinn a book myself, so I can say I was right.
Do you not know who your match was?

BillyMollyEmmy said:

AlinnJo said:

So Quinn hasn't received a book from the book exchange. When I bought the book for my person, my husband (jokingly) made fun of me for buying something for someone I met on the internet. I told him to shove it and also justified it by telling him Quinn would get one too.

Her birthday was a week ago and still nothing. I'm wondering if she'll get one at all. While that's the chance you take with internet people, I'm annoyed my husband was right. I'm tempted to send Quinn a book myself, so I can say I was right.

If your book doesn't arrive, I will send you one, because I think that's really effing shitty of someone to agree to send a child a book and then not do it. I hope that's not the case.

ETA: That sounded way bitchier than I meant it to sound, and if your book-sender is reading and actually did send a book, maybe it's just late, or lost in the mail, or something. Things like that do happen.

BillyMollyEmmy · September 2013

I don't know why my quote tree just quoted spoof lol. Man I am failing all around this morning.

AlinnJo · September 2013

Oh thanks @BillyMollyEmmy! I hope my person comes through. They can send an anonymous message, so I feel like they can at least let me know something came up and they can't send one. And spoof, it's anonymous so it could be a surprise.

Holly_1007 · September 2013

@alinnjo that sucks. I would be dissapointed too. hopefully something has just come up. I would gladly send quinn a book if she doesn't get one!

KellersPrag · September 2013

SpoofLeJones said:

I still use the word 'retarded' in conversation and have been trying really hard to stop. DH and I have been trying to replace it with 'ridiculous'. Using that word is still very common where I live and no one makes a big deal out of it even though we should.
It is common here too. In fact, I had never heard of anyone being genuinely offended by it until I joined TB.

That surprises me. I was one of the biggest advocates throughout middle and high school to get people to stop, and it was a big movement where I am from.

AlinnJo · September 2013

You all are too sweet!! My person contacted me and it seems it's missing in transit! We will figure something out. And I can't wait to tell my H I was right!!

KellersPrag · September 2013

AlinnJo said:

So Quinn hasn't received a book from the book exchange. When I bought the book for my person, my husband (jokingly) made fun of me for buying something for someone I met on the internet. I told him to shove it and also justified it by telling him Quinn would get one too.

Her birthday was a week ago and still nothing. I'm wondering if she'll get one at all. While that's the chance you take with internet people, I'm annoyed my husband was right. I'm tempted to send Quinn a book myself, so I can say I was right.

Same here, but her birthday was only 3 days ago. I'm holding out hope.

AlinnJo · September 2013

Kellers, keep us updated. Everyone deserves something!! And I will send another one out! I love giving gifts!!

MRoxy0628 · September 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

It's the same as using gay

gay=sexual orientation, not a synonym for stupid

retarded=slow, handicapped, not a synonym for stupid

My H used to use the word retarded, but once I became pregnant and the reality that we could have a child with a mental handicap set in (there wasn't any reason we would think she would, there is just always a possibility) he is much more cognizant of how offensive and hurtful that word can be.

Bookelly · September 2013

SpoofLeJones said:

I have never had CFA. Am I missing out?

No. CFA is entirely overrated. It's decent food, but I can't understand for the life of me why people line up for it.

My FFFC- I get giddy when my husband picks up the overnight shift. I have help with the baby in the evening, we get some good one-on-one time after she goes to sleep, and then I get the bed all to myself. It's fantastic.

Flamingemu · September 2013

Oh thanks @BillyMollyEmmy! I hope my person comes through. They can send an anonymous message, so I feel like they can at least let me know something came up and they can't send one. And spoof, it's anonymous so it could be a surprise.

@Willygert may be able to see the matches as the coordinator. Seriously, that sucks and I would be sad too. I took some time hunting down a region specific book for my match and I haven't seen her around here in MONTHS. I am pretty sure she is just on the FB group now. Same for the person I received the book from. I had no idea who she even was. I had to do some digging to remember her.

Bookelly · September 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

Bookelly said:

SpoofLeJones said:

I have never had CFA. Am I missing out?
No. CFA is entirely overrated. It's decent food, but I can't understand for the life of me why people line up for it.

My FFFC- I get giddy when my husband picks up the overnight shift. I have help with the baby in the evening, we get some good one-on-one time after she goes to sleep, and then I get the bed all to myself. It's fantastic.
I hate overnights because I have to get up in the night if she does AND I have to get up at whatever house she thinks is normal wake up time.

Yeah, the morning after is definitely not my favorite. But at least I know she'll be up at 6 like clockwork. No surprises with my type A child.

mrsjenni · September 2013

SpoofLeJones said:

I have never had CFA. Am I missing out?

Yes.

And I refuse to stop eating there... even if they were anti-white kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, I'd roll up my tinted windows and go through the drive-thru.

mrsjenni · September 2013

I've never bought or sold anything on Craigslist.

willy_gert · September 2013

@kellersprag I am checking on your book.

@alinnjo it looks like yours got taken care of?

willy_gert · September 2013

I want alcohol badly. I don't ever drink anymore and haven't for at least 4 years, but with everything going on, I just want alcohol.

KellersPrag · September 2013

thechimichanga said:

I find myself judging the moms at daycare who are in gym clothes. Not because they are in gym clothes and dropping their LOs off at daycare. It is solely because I am jealous that they are going to the gym and I wish I had that kind of time.

The supermom thread also bugged me and made me feel like I should be more put together and do more for my kid than I already do when I'm just trying to keep my head above water, I imagined others felt like that too.

I rolled my eyes when the thread was put up, because I never get mentioned in things, and I already feel like I am drowning every minute of every day. Then I got mentioned, and it made me feel good... but there are other people who probably go through similar things that I go through regularly, and they deserve to be noticed, too. I liked the ones who said 'shout out to all moms'.

mrsjenni · September 2013

I had a 1/2 of a Yuengling Oktoberfest on DH's birthday last week. I haven't drank ANYTHING this pregnancy, but I just couldn't restrain myself. It was a gorgeous fall Sunday afternoon and we were watching the Eagles game and got wings for his birthday lunch. I literally said "fuck it" and poured some in a glass. And I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it.

MississippiCatfish · September 2013

redneckmomma25 said:

SpoofLeJones said:

mrssqueegy said:
I still use the word 'retarded' in conversation and have been trying really hard to stop. DH and I have been trying to replace it with 'ridiculous'. Using that word is still very common where I live and no one makes a big deal out of it even though we should.
It is common here too. In fact, I had never heard of anyone being genuinely offended by it until I joined TB.
Same here. I got flamed for using it in a post.

I also would never call someone who has a handicap retarded. I do think the word can be used to describe certain situations or things. I also think people can be retarded in their thinking. I do not fully comprehend it being offensive unless being used to describe someone who is in fact handicapped. I'm sure I am wrong. I just don't understand it. Let the flames fly.

The word "handicapped" isn't exactly PC either (implies that those individuals aren't able to provide for themselves and need to look for handouts). Just pointing out that it's easy in every day life to use a term that could offend someone without even knowing it. I don't usually judge people who use a non-PC term because most of the time it's out of a lack of awareness and not malice.

MeatballEsq · September 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

thechimichanga said:

I find myself judging the moms at daycare who are in gym clothes. Not because they are in gym clothes and dropping their LOs off at daycare. It is solely because I am jealous that they are going to the gym and I wish I had that kind of time.

The supermom thread also bugged me and made me feel like I should be more put together and do more for my kid than I already do when I'm just trying to keep my head above water, I imagined others felt like that too.

I just read it. And now I want to lock myself in a closet with a bottle of wine.

I don't see how this thread is any different than a Compliment a Bumpie, Callout a Bumpie, etc. There's always people that don't get mentioned and their feelings are hurt.

I know I'm not a supermom. I'm okay with it. I think I'm a pretty good mom, but I've never made my kid a sensory toy and probably never will and he ate a hot dog for dinner last night with a spinach pouch.

MeatballEsq · September 2013

willy_gert said:

I want alcohol badly. I don't ever drink anymore and haven't for at least 4 years, but with everything going on, I just want alcohol.

Is there a reason you don't drink anymore? Did you or YH have a problem with it?

willy_gert · September 2013

tonir319 said:

willy_gert said:

I want alcohol badly. I don't ever drink anymore and haven't for at least 4 years, but with everything going on, I just want alcohol.

Is there a reason you don't drink anymore? Did you or YH have a problem with it?

Neither one of us have had trouble, but there is a family history of alcoholism on my side of the family, so I choose to abstain so that I don't ever have to deal with it.

Hyaline · September 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

It's the same as using gay

gay=sexual orientation, not a synonym for stupid

retarded=slow, handicapped, not a synonym for stupid

Well, it may be a "clinical" term, but it certainly isn't the technical term one uses in common speech any longer. In that way, it's definitely different from gay.

TheAnne said:

I don't use the word retarded because I recognize how offensive it is and cringe when I hear other people use it.

However, it's a total double standard. Some of you suggested using the word stupid instead. I have also heard (and use myself) dumb and lame as replacements. Well, those words all originated as ways to describe handicapped people too and are just farther along in the word meaning evolution than retarded is. I think that it's one thing to not use a word because it is offensive but another to get cunty to someone for using it if you're going to not totally ban all such words from your vocab yourself. This is mostly a bump offense that makes me eye roll.

Yeah, I replaced anything currently on the offenso-meter with "lame" and I'm waiting for "lame" to be called out as inappropriate now.

To me, retarded no longer means anything having to do with a disability. It's a clusterfuck or complete lack of common sense displayed by people who should know better--stuff that would be understandable if mental deficiency were present, but it's most definitely not, in a kind of ironic twist on the word's usage. And no, I don't use it myself. Except when I'm really pissed and see something that makes me fly off the handle.

MeatballEsq · September 2013

thechimichanga said:

tonir319 said:

LoisLayn23 said:

thechimichanga said:

I find myself judging the moms at daycare who are in gym clothes. Not because they are in gym clothes and dropping their LOs off at daycare. It is solely because I am jealous that they are going to the gym and I wish I had that kind of time.

The supermom thread also bugged me and made me feel like I should be more put together and do more for my kid than I already do when I'm just trying to keep my head above water, I imagined others felt like that too.

I just read it. And now I want to lock myself in a closet with a bottle of wine.

I don't see how this thread is any different than a Compliment a Bumpie, Callout a Bumpie, etc. There's always people that don't get mentioned and their feelings are hurt.

I know I'm not a supermom. I'm okay with it. I think I'm a pretty good mom, but I've never made my kid a sensory toy and probably never will and he ate a hot dog for dinner last night with a spinach pouch.

I think it was a shitty title on the OPs part. She probably meant nothing by it, but super mom as Lois said means better than regular moms.

and you are a supermom. Look at all of the things that you did for Connor. You made sure he got all of the services that he needed ALL of them, while holding down a job and having a husband who does not have a typical 9-5. If that's not a supermom, I dont know what is.

Well thanks. I wasn't fishing haha. I think we're all supermoms honestly. We're here on TB because we came here looking for advice and like-minded people interested in either TTC or PG or babies (depending on what stage you were in when you showed up). We stayed for the friendship, support and snark. Either way, we all obviously want the best for our kids and do research to make sure they get that.

I don't see the difference between complimenting people on their "mom" characteristics v. the regular compliment a bumpie thread, but I understand we all have our sensitivities and for some reason it didn't hit one for me yesterday (even though on certain days it would).

Hyaline · September 2013

I took the SuperMom thread with a grain of salt. Let's be honest--the images we project here are probably not 100% accurate (not necessarily by design, but because it's the interwebs), so while there are definitely moms who look like they have all their shit together and craft the House of Pinterest besides, I assume that they have their weak points too. They may not share them, but they're there.

MeatballEsq · September 2013

Not until a few years ago did I realize when cleaning bathrooms and toilets that I should also be wiping off the toilet handle. For some reason it never occurred to me. I was too worried about making sure the seat was clean, and then realized that the handle (the thing touched with your nasty unwashed hands) is probably the dirtiest thing in the bathroom.

I'm disgusting.

MarisaKathleen · September 2013

I didn't find the Supermom thread offensive. I know I'm an awesome Mom. I don't need my internet friends who have never met my kid to validate that for me. Also, if I did want that, I would sit here and AW all of the awesome things I do, because seriously, I do a lot of awesome things for and with my small person.

FFFC: My DHs Grandpa died this morning. It's our last grandparent. I feel terrible that I'm at work when I know that my DH is having such a hard time. I have a program orientation this afternoon and have 15 students coming, and it's too late for me to reschedule them all when my next meeting isn't until 10/23. I'm irritated that my SIL posted about it on FB and even more irritated that she posted that it was so hard to hear my FIL crying about it. My FIL cheated on his wife (Grandpa was MIL's Dad) and hasn't seen that side of the family more than 1x since our wedding 5 years ago. My SIL does things so very, very different than DH and I do. It's like my husband was raised by respectful, normal wolves, while SIL was raised by her loser father.

jocymama · September 2013

@MarisaKathleen I am really sorry for your loss

LuvSD · September 2013

Based on the UO. I think if your parents can and want to help you out then that's great. I don't think it makes you any less of an adult. My parents help me out a lot. I'm a always very grateful and don't take advantage of them. I don't see this as a problem.

MeatballEsq · September 2013

thechimichanga said:

I think it must be chilly in hell today. I was more sensitive than @tonir319

Take that whoever called me a big fat meanie head. up yours!

MarisaKathleen · September 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

I didn't find the Supermom thread offensive. I know I'm an awesome Mom. I don't need my internet friends who have never met my kid to validate that for me. Also, if I did want that, I would sit here and AW all of the awesome things I do, because seriously, I do a lot of awesome things for and with my small person.

FFFC: My DHs Grandpa died this morning. It's our last grandparent. I feel terrible that I'm at work when I know that my DH is having such a hard time. I have a program orientation this afternoon and have 15 students coming, and it's too late for me to reschedule them all when my next meeting isn't until 10/23. I'm irritated that my SIL posted about it on FB and even more irritated that she posted that it was so hard to hear my FIL crying about it. My FIL cheated on his wife (Grandpa was MIL's Dad) and hasn't seen that side of the family more than 1x since our wedding 5 years ago. My SIL does things so very, very different than DH and I do. It's like my husband was raised by respectful, normal wolves, while SIL was raised by her loser father.

Nor do we, and that wasn't the point of our drinking in a closet woes.

I didn't say you did. I said I didn't personally find it offensive for the reasons I stated. I wasn't calling you or anyone else out. If you want to drink in your closet for any reason at all, that's cool with me.

LuvSD · September 2013

IndigoVader said:

LuvSD said:

Based on the UO. I think if your parents can and want to help you out then that's great. I don't think it makes you any less of an adult. My parents help me out a lot. I'm a always very grateful and don't take advantage of them. I don't see this as a problem.

I will say that when the kids are older, I want to still be there to help if I can. I want them to feel free to ask for help, if needed- but to understand if I can't give it and never be ashamed to ask. While I want them to be responsible adults, and well functioning members of society, I am always there mother and will always do what I can to help.

I agree with you. I hope I can help my children when they get older. I guess what I am saying is I think one can be responsible and contribute to society as well as accept help when needed.

Pokedot · September 2013

After reading 3 pages:

1. I don't think the "Super Mom" thread should make any of us feel inadequate as a mom. I "shouted" out to all mom's because damn it it's hard. Whether you're single, married, working. SAHM it's hard! We all have our ups and downs, our strengths and weaknesses! We are all doing the best we can with what we have!

2. We've been having some health issues to deal with with my 86 year old grandma. She's the last grandparent I have. Today we got the diagnosis that she has bone marrow cancer. She's as frail as frail can be and literally probably 90 lbs. I'm doing all I can to hold it together right now. I've been more involved in her care and choices than her own son (my uncle) and right now I want to shit stomp him for his lack of concern. She constantly seeks his approval and he does nothing but get short with her and only help when it benefits him. I guess this really isn't a FFFC unless me stomping on him is considered it.

3. @MarisaKathleen I'm sorry for your loss! Losing anyone is never easy. It seems especially difficult when your spouse losses someone close.

AKB090609 · September 2013

My FFFC: I don't particularly care when I meet my nephew, but you can bet your ass I will want to meet my niece soon after she is born.

This has everything to do with the parents (and the travel cost) and nothing to do with the children.

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