Another I like to work person here...on occasion I have a day off and do something really fun w/ my kids and go ohhhh maybe I could do this full time! But then I think of the summer I was home w/ them when they were about 1 and how I thought I was going to die b/c I was so NOT cut out for it and got frustrated easily and I felt like it was going to negatively affect my relationship with them...and MH told me at the end of hte summer that he thought it would be a good idea if I worked at least part time the next summer... So while I wish I could be more like 3 days of work a week, I know that I could not stay home FT.
I'm an attorney too. I went back to work at eight weeks postpartum. I work for a small, family friendly firm. Law hasn't been the ticket to great wealth, but it's been a satisfying career for me and even though I went back to work quite soon after giving birth I still don't have many complaints.
I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule. I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother. Sorry - it is. There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator, I get very little time with my child. I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother. It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely). Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).
This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job. It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story. You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.
If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule). For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school. There are better and easier ways to make money.
@leah2b - have you looked into being a gov't attorney? I'm a lawyer as well. Was at a very large national firm for 2 years (pre-marriage and kids but I could see the writing on the wall). I also live in a high COL area (So Cal). I switched to a fed gov't job (not US atty which is just as bad as law firms) and it is pretty much 9-5. In fact, we work our 80 hours per 2 week pay period in 9 days with 1 day off every 2 weeks. Now I'm PT - every Friday off and work 8 hour days M-Th. Of course I don't get paid as much as at a big firm, but it is still a very very good salary. Maybe it's something you could consider. I hope you find something that works for your family. I don't know you, but your post really resonated with me. Good luck and you know you could always consider a career change - life is too short to be miserable for the rest of it.
BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.
I'm happy to work. Hats off to SAHMs. I couldn't do it. I would go insane. I work three 12 hr shifts a week so I am home more days with DS, which is nice, but sometimes work can be a bit of a break for me.
I like being a working mom, but I knew from the moment I met DH that I would be the primary breadwinner and staying home would never be an option. But I really like my job and find it rewarding and I like the people I work with, so that helps a lot. And I like that DD is home with DH during the day. It helps that my job is very flexible and I can work from home if necessary.
No, this isn't true for me. I will admit that when I first came back from maternity leave and he was itty bitty, I missed DS so much that at times I wished I didn't work. Now that he's a bit older and I've been back to work longer, I can truly say that I don't think I could handle being a SAHM and I like my job most of the time.
Some days are better than others of course, but then again some days with DS are better than others.
I love how people always wish they could have a teachers schedule. Its amazing how people forget that much we do off the clock at home. For example.
School starts at 9, I am there by 8 prepping for the day. Which means I am working to get ready work. School gets out at 3:30, I don't leave til close to 4:30. So I work after my contracted day is over. After LO goes to bed, I correct homework, cut out things, plan lessons, and do more work for another hour or more.
Then on the weekends I spend hours planning lessons, creating hands on games and activites for the students, planning units, etc. Oh and just because the school has a day off, doesn't mean I always do- many days off are usually filled with meetings, report card writing, going to classes etc.
Yes, I get breaks, and yes I have the summer off, but I don't get paid for that. I get paid over the summer money that was taken out of my check during the school year and then given to me over the summer. so I can keep a consistent paycheck.
So, as much as a teachers schedule sounds glamorous, and yes it is nice, there is a little bit of smoke and mirrors to it. Its not quite all what it is cracked up to be.
And no I am not complaining. I love my job, now that I am in healthy school environment. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but just like any job there are things that have to be done behind the scenes of the regular work day and in the evenings, and on days off too.
Hey. I'm a teacher too and I don't think the PP really meant to offend other teachers. I mean, I wish she wouldn't have said that being a teacher is like working part time because it's not. Teaching is still a fulltime job. But I think she was just trying to say that teachers have much more flexibility than most working moms. I mean, yes we do have to do work outside of school but we get to choose when we want to do that work. My school day is over at 2:30 so I can leave right at that time (I usually do), get my kid and spend time with her until she goes to bed and then do my school work. Other working moms don't have that flexibility. And we do get much more time off with our kids than most of the world. Honestly, I stopped getting offended by these stupid teacher comments a long time ago. I don't think PP meant it that way.
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I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule. I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother. Sorry - it is. There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator, I get very little time with my child. I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother. It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely). Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).
This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job. It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story. You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.
If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule). For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school. There are better and easier ways to make money.
Hey. Not flameworthy at all. I don't have anything against SAHM. It's the SAHM that complain all the time about how busy they are and how hard they have it that really get to me. I'm a teacher and I LOVE it.
Please don't call teaching part time. Yes teachers get a lot of time off but we still work a full day. I would love to work part time or not at all.
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I love how people always wish they could have a teachers schedule. Its amazing how people forget that much we do off the clock at home. For example.
School starts at 9, I am there by 8 prepping for the day. Which means I am working to get ready work. School gets out at 3:30, I don't leave til close to 4:30. So I work after my contracted day is over. After LO goes to bed, I correct homework, cut out things, plan lessons, and do more work for another hour or more.
Then on the weekends I spend hours planning lessons, creating hands on games and activites for the students, planning units, etc. Oh and just because the school has a day off, doesn't mean I always do- many days off are usually filled with meetings, report card writing, going to classes etc.
Yes, I get breaks, and yes I have the summer off, but I don't get paid for that. I get paid over the summer money that was taken out of my check during the school year and then given to me over the summer. so I can keep a consistent paycheck.
So, as much as a teachers schedule sounds glamorous, and yes it is nice, there is a little bit of smoke and mirrors to it. Its not quite all what it is cracked up to be.
And no I am not complaining. I love my job, now that I am in healthy school environment. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but just like any job there are things that have to be done behind the scenes of the regular work day and in the evenings, and on days off too.
Hey. I'm a teacher too and I don't think the PP really meant to offend other teachers. I mean, I wish she wouldn't have said that being a teacher is like working part time because it's not. Teaching is still a fulltime job. But I think she was just trying to say that teachers have much more flexibility than most working moms. I mean, yes we do have to do work outside of school but we get to choose when we want to do that work. My school day is over at 2:30 so I can leave right at that time (I usually do), get my kid and spend time with her until she goes to bed and then do my school work. Other working moms don't have that flexibility. And we do get much more time off with our kids than most of the world. Honestly, I stopped getting offended by these stupid teacher comments a long time ago. I don't think PP meant it that way.
I never said she was trying offend anyone. I just said, in general I think it is humorous that so many people wish they a teachers schedule. Many times they don't all that is done behind the scenes. Like I said in my post, I love my job and wouldn't trade it, but its isn't as glamorous as some people may think. My comment was not pointed at anyone specific it was just thoughts in general.
Kimbus22 , working the graveyard shift is an option for me, but I don't know when I'd sleep. When you do sleep? I have a couple of coworkers with kids, and they only get a couple of hours of sleep in the evening when their spouse is home, so they are always dragging at work. I'd love to hear how you've been able to make it work.
We have a weird set up in my house. DH and I work for the same company. I work M-F 11pm-7am. DH works Sat-Sun 7am-7pm, M 7am-5pm and Th 12pm-7pm. So most of the week DH is actually home. I typically come home and sleep 3-4 hours while he's in charge of the kid, then we have afternoons together for family time and then after the kid is in bed I grab another hour to two before I leave. Mondays are rough because I have the kid all day and then go to work on an hour of sleep but the rest of the week I do all right. Or at least I do when I'm not KU. Right now I'm a walking zombie lol
Good Lord. I would die from the lack of sleep. I don't know how you do it.
I don't like my line of work so I would definitely rather be a SAHM than do what I do. That being said, if I could switch careers (no chance with my level of law school debt), I would probably be most happy doing some sort of P/T arrangement, like 4 days a week or something like that. I don't think I will ever be content being away from my kid from 7am to 6pm five days a week. Even in a job I loved.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here! BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
I work prirmarily because I have to as my husbands salary alone just doesn't cut it.
That being said, I do enjoy my job and my co workers. Plus, I work for a super family friendly university, so I have flexible hours and take two Fridays a month to just spend time with my kids. In an ideal world, I would work 3 days a week rather than 5. Given the choice, I don't know if I could stay home every day- and I think it's good for the kids to get the social interaction.
I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule. I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother. Sorry - it is. There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator, I get very little time with my child. I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother. It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely). Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).
This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job. It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story. You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.
If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule). For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school. There are better and easier ways to make money.
Hey. Not flameworthy at all. I don't have anything against SAHM. It's the SAHM that complain all the time about how busy they are and how hard they have it that really get to me. I'm a teacher and I LOVE it.
Please don't call teaching part time. Yes teachers get a lot of time off but we still work a full day. I would love to work part time or not at all.
I don't get this at all, to be honest. Do you not think the person who watches and teaches your child all day works hard? I imagine that would be sort of insulting to your DCP. Why is would be different with your own child escapes me. But hey, mommy war on if it makes you feel better.
It is totally different with your own child. I am a teacher. I am with kids ALL DAY LONG. It is way harder for me to be with other children than to be with your own child. I love it but it is harder. I'm not saying that being with my kid isn't hard at times. Sure it is. I'm just saying I don't consider it work because she's my daughter. SAHM full time is hard I bet but I'm sorry it is not work.
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I love how people always wish they could have a teachers schedule. Its amazing how people forget that much we do off the clock at home. For example.
School starts at 9, I am there by 8 prepping for the day. Which means I am working to get ready work. School gets out at 3:30, I don't leave til close to 4:30. So I work after my contracted day is over. After LO goes to bed, I correct homework, cut out things, plan lessons, and do more work for another hour or more.
Then on the weekends I spend hours planning lessons, creating hands on games and activites for the students, planning units, etc. Oh and just because the school has a day off, doesn't mean I always do- many days off are usually filled with meetings, report card writing, going to classes etc.
Yes, I get breaks, and yes I have the summer off, but I don't get paid for that. I get paid over the summer money that was taken out of my check during the school year and then given to me over the summer. so I can keep a consistent paycheck.
So, as much as a teachers schedule sounds glamorous, and yes it is nice, there is a little bit of smoke and mirrors to it. Its not quite all what it is cracked up to be.
And no I am not complaining. I love my job, now that I am in healthy school environment. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but just like any job there are things that have to be done behind the scenes of the regular work day and in the evenings, and on days off too.
I work from 8:30 - 6 in the actual office and then answer emails after dinner till I go to bed
I sometimes travel which takes me away from home for 24-72 hours including weekends.
Not a single one of my teacher friends have schedules anything like this. And they range from k-6 all the way up to HS teachers. Its 4:19 here in NY and several are home making dinner right now - I know thanks to FB.
I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule. I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother. Sorry - it is. There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator, I get very little time with my child. I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother. It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely). Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).
This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job. It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story. You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.
If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule). For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school. There are better and easier ways to make money.
Hey. Not flameworthy at all. I don't have anything against SAHM. It's the SAHM that complain all the time about how busy they are and how hard they have it that really get to me. I'm a teacher and I LOVE it.
Please don't call teaching part time. Yes teachers get a lot of time off but we still work a full day. I would love to work part time or not at all.
I don't get this at all, to be honest. Do you not think the person who watches and teaches your child all day works hard? I imagine that would be sort of insulting to your DCP. Why is would be different with your own child escapes me. But hey, mommy war on if it makes you feel better.
It is totally different with your own child. I am a teacher. I am with kids ALL DAY LONG. It is way harder for me to be with other children than to be with your own child. I love it but it is harder. I'm not saying that being with my kid isn't hard at times. Sure it is. I'm just saying I don't consider it work because she's my daughter. SAHM full time is hard I bet but I'm sorry it is not work.
Eh, I'm a teacher, and I think it's way harder being with my own kids. At work, the students leave at 3, and I don't really have to think about them(unless I'm grading in the evening). But, I can't do that with my own kids. I also think it's way easier to take my entire class on an all day field trip than to take my preschooler and infant to Target.
And, I'm on extended maternity leave right now, and I totally think SAH is work. I am way more tired these days than when I work. There's no way I could do this all the time, and I totally commend the ladies that do SAH.
No. I hate working. But I'm just a bitter underpaid lawyer with too many school loans.
I like my work environment and my boss, but I don't like actually working. I'd rather play volleyball all day if I could really choose something fun to do all day.
I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule. I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother. Sorry - it is. There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator, I get very little time with my child. I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother. It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely). Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).
This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job. It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story. You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.
If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule). For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school. There are better and easier ways to make money.
I have absolutely no desire to be a SAHM. None. I love my kids so so much, but I also need my career and outside life in order to be happy.
I was happy to be bacteria to work at 12 weeks. In fact, going back to work is what really helped me snap out of the PPD I was struggling with.
For some reason I can't quote. So to SoMoNY. I never once said that teachers have it the hardest and that no body else works hard or works long hours. I have a husband who travels almost every week so I get it. My point, once again, since I have explained it once already is that I find it humorous that anytime anyone writes about how they would do things differently and would like a better schedule they always say like a teacher. They never say like a dentist or a hair stylist or (insert any other profession here). Every time any one ever mentions how hard they have it they always go on wishing they were a teacher because "they have better schedules". That's all. This was in no way a start to a pissing contest about who has it harder. It was simply an observation and possibly a bit of information giving to people who didn't know. That's all.
I love how people always wish they could have a teachers schedule. Its amazing how people forget that much we do off the clock at home. For example.
School starts at 9, I am there by 8 prepping for the day. Which means I am working to get ready work. School gets out at 3:30, I don't leave til close to 4:30. So I work after my contracted day is over. After LO goes to bed, I correct homework, cut out things, plan lessons, and do more work for another hour or more.
Then on the weekends I spend hours planning lessons, creating hands on games and activites for the students, planning units, etc. Oh and just because the school has a day off, doesn't mean I always do- many days off are usually filled with meetings, report card writing, going to classes etc.
Yes, I get breaks, and yes I have the summer off, but I don't get paid for that. I get paid over the summer money that was taken out of my check during the school year and then given to me over the summer. so I can keep a consistent paycheck.
So, as much as a teachers schedule sounds glamorous, and yes it is nice, there is a little bit of smoke and mirrors to it. Its not quite all what it is cracked up to be.
And no I am not complaining. I love my job, now that I am in healthy school environment. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but just like any job there are things that have to be done behind the scenes of the regular work day and in the evenings, and on days off too.
I SAH the first three years. When I went back to work, I wished I could've went part-time with a FT salary. However, after some time had passed and DS got older AND I tweaked my work schedule to where I was working part-time hours the majority of the time, I was then very happy working. I too love my job!
I have absolutely no desire to be a SAHM. None. I love my kids so so much, but I also need my career and outside life in order to be happy. I was happy to be bacteria to work at 12 weeks. In fact, going back to work is what really helped me snap out of the PPD I was struggling with.
I am happy to be a working mom. I love our DD incredibly but I couldn't imagine being a SATM. I think sometimes moms don't want to announce that they are happy working. People judge every little thing a mom does. I'm sure there are some people who look down on happy working moms because moms are "supposed to" want to spend every second with their babies. I love going to work, spending time with adults, and coming home to a baby who is so excited to see me!
I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments--although not my post or question. I'm a new mom returning to work full time on Monday. I love my job and miss the adult interaction, mental challenge. My DH's family makes me feel guilty for being excited to return to work and wanting to send LO to daycare. Although I love my little man to death, its nice to have my mind focused on something other than dirty diapers and feeding schedules. Dare I say, it makes the time with him even more special.
I hate my job. But I wouldn't want to be SAHM- I would go crazy. I'd be a happy working mom if I had a job I liked, or where I felt valued, or made enough money to negate either of those first 2 things.
Me:27, DH:28 - DX: MFI, varicocele repair Nov 2011 Post-Op SA: Count- 15 million, Motility- 75%, Morphology- 3% IVF with ICSI - Stimming 10/4/12 - 10/13/12, Lupron Trigger ER 10/18/12, 12 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 fertilized 5 day transfer 10/23/12, 3 frosties Beta #1 11/5/12: 453, Beta #2 11/7/12: 1,013, DD born 7/19/13
When I was on maternity leave I felt like I was just waiting for my real life to start again. I loved that I was able to take 5 months off, but I also loved that, once I went back to work, I really looked forward to seeing DS, rather than just looking forward to naptime.
Some days, when he is being especially cute, I have some thoughts about what I am missing out on. And then he loses his freaking mind because I turned the light off when he wanted to (even though he never said it), or he throws his cup at the wall and refuses to put on pants, and I think, oh yes, work is pretty awesome. I can go to the bathroom whenever I want, and there will not be a toddler screaming outside the door because he wants to see if I am pooping.
I love my job. I love my coworkers. I love the social interaction I get every day.
I do not love spending 1.5-2 hours on the road commuting, fighting traffic, and leaching time away from my baby. The longer I do it, the more I long to be home with him more every day. Just this week, I realized I spend only a couple of hours with him every day, and it breaks my heart. But for the moment, it makes sense to continue working. It's not as though I dread going to work. I look forward to it, but I know that if we have a second child, I may not return.
If I had the option to work part-time, I'd take it in a heartbeat.
I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments--although not my post or question. I'm a new mom returning to work full time on Monday. I love my job and miss the adult interaction, mental challenge. My DH's family makes me feel guilty for being excited to return to work and wanting to send LO to daycare. Although I love my little man to death, its nice to have my mind focused on something other than dirty diapers and feeding schedules. Dare I say, it makes the time with him even more special.
Feeling likewise! I'm 4 weeks into a 12 week maternity leave. I love my DD and know it'll be hard to leave her all day when the time comes.
But honestly, I feel guilty I don't feel more guilty about looking forward to returning to work. I love the work I do and the purpose of my work. I get such fulfillment from it, that I have missed it horribly when the feeding schedules and other challenges of being home alone with a newborn have been rough. I have always thought being a SAHM would not be for me, and now I know for sure that is the case. But man, how I love this cute little girl who has fallen asleep in my arms!
I think working mom vs SAHM decisions is about knowing yourself and what works best for you and your family, and trying your best to be ok with that (that is, not feeling guilty or whatever other negative emotion that may arise). But what do I know - I won't officially be a working mom until I return to work in 8 weeks.
Yes, I am happy to be working and honestly, whenever this question comes up on this board, I get a little offended because I know noone would ask a message board full of men the same question. Just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I want to SAH.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
I have to agree with the "flameworthy" comments that being a SAHM is not work. It's like when fathers say they are babysitting their own kids when mom goes to the store or to get her hair done or something. You are not babysitting your own children. You're being a parent. Similarly, when a SAHM says what she does is work or a job, no it's not. You're being a parent. If you want to say being a SAHM is just as hard as having a job or that it's hard, that's fine (I know I'm being nitpicky) but please don't refer to watching your own children as work or a job.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here! BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
I'm not completely happy with my current job situation, but at the same time, I can't imagine not working. I admire women who can be SAHMs. I miss my son during the day, but I was pretty stir crazy and ready to resume my career after around 4 months of leave.
This is how I feel. I feel that if I had a different employer, I would love working. I'm trying to get back to that place.
I don't know that I would say I'm happy as a working mom. I enjoy my job and love my employer, and I enjoy my "professional/adult" time, but (and this is probably just the first weeks transition) but I miss spending time with LO. coming home in the evenings after DC are a little funky most days where I have to put her down for a nap after we get home because she's really fussy and hadn't napped for a couple hours (she just wouldn't go down) so I feel like I'm robbed of my day and time with her in the evenings.
But I figure my happiness will return when I feel that my evenings are sufficiently spent enjoying LO's smiles and giggles.
Yes, I am happy to be working and honestly, whenever this question comes up on this board, I get a little offended because I know noone would ask a message board full of men the same question. Just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I want to SAH.
Very true. I've never asked a dad let alone a group of dads if they're truly happy being working dads. (In fact, I don't think I've ever even heard the term "working dad."!! So sad....the double standard) However, when dads have brought this up, there's been a plethora of feelings revealed. DH has a friend who is a SAHD and loves it. He also balances parenting and time with friends, his wife etc well. DH would love to cut back to part time. I'm looking to advance in my career in the next few years and he's already considered staying home more or finding ways to cut back on hours so we don't have to rely more on child care. He also feels like he'd be happier if he spent less time at work and more with our DD. One of my BILs works two weeks on/two weeks off at an oil refinery in rural Alaska. He lives at the refinery (dorm) while working there. He's home with the kids when he's off and really enjoys it. However, he was quite surprised at the amount of work caring for kids (they have four) is. It would be interesting to see what more "working dads" have to say about this matter.
Re: Any moms on here actually happy to be working?
So while I wish I could be more like 3 days of work a week, I know that I could not stay home FT.
Married Bio * BFP Charts
No, this isn't true for me. I will admit that when I first came back from maternity leave and he was itty bitty, I missed DS so much that at times I wished I didn't work. Now that he's a bit older and I've been back to work longer, I can truly say that I don't think I could handle being a SAHM and I like my job most of the time.
Some days are better than others of course, but then again some days with DS are better than others.
Hey. Not flameworthy at all. I don't have anything against SAHM. It's the SAHM that complain all the time about how busy they are and how hard they have it that really get to me. I'm a teacher and I LOVE it.
Please don't call teaching part time. Yes teachers get a lot of time off but we still work a full day. I would love to work part time or not at all.
I never said she was trying offend anyone. I just said, in general I think it is humorous that so many people wish they a teachers schedule. Many times they don't all that is done behind the scenes. Like I said in my post, I love my job and wouldn't trade it, but its isn't as glamorous as some people may think. My comment was not pointed at anyone specific it was just thoughts in general.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
Good Lord. I would die from the lack of sleep. I don't know how you do it.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
I work prirmarily because I have to as my husbands salary alone just doesn't cut it.
That being said, I do enjoy my job and my co workers. Plus, I work for a super family friendly university, so I have flexible hours and take two Fridays a month to just spend time with my kids. In an ideal world, I would work 3 days a week rather than 5. Given the choice, I don't know if I could stay home every day- and I think it's good for the kids to get the social interaction.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
SAHMs have it a million times harder!!! :-) My job is easy compared to that.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I SAH the first three years. When I went back to work, I wished I could've went part-time with a FT salary. However, after some time had passed and DS got older AND I tweaked my work schedule to where I was working part-time hours the majority of the time, I was then very happy working. I too love my job!
I'd SAH or work part time if I could, but I'm not miserable as a working mom, it's fine.
Me:27, DH:28 - DX: MFI, varicocele repair Nov 2011
Post-Op SA: Count- 15 million, Motility- 75%, Morphology- 3%
IVF with ICSI - Stimming 10/4/12 - 10/13/12, Lupron Trigger
ER 10/18/12, 12 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 fertilized
5 day transfer 10/23/12, 3 frosties
Beta #1 11/5/12: 453, Beta #2 11/7/12: 1,013, DD born 7/19/13
TTC #2 since 1/2012
I do not love spending 1.5-2 hours on the road commuting, fighting traffic, and leaching time away from my baby. The longer I do it, the more I long to be home with him more every day. Just this week, I realized I spend only a couple of hours with him every day, and it breaks my heart. But for the moment, it makes sense to continue working. It's not as though I dread going to work. I look forward to it, but I know that if we have a second child, I may not return.
If I had the option to work part-time, I'd take it in a heartbeat.
But honestly, I feel guilty I don't feel more guilty about looking forward to returning to work. I love the work I do and the purpose of my work. I get such fulfillment from it, that I have missed it horribly when the feeding schedules and other challenges of being home alone with a newborn have been rough. I have always thought being a SAHM would not be for me, and now I know for sure that is the case. But man, how I love this cute little girl who has fallen asleep in my arms!
I think working mom vs SAHM decisions is about knowing yourself and what works best for you and your family, and trying your best to be ok with that (that is, not feeling guilty or whatever other negative emotion that may arise). But what do I know - I won't officially be a working mom until I return to work in 8 weeks.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!