Any moms on here actually happy to be working?

Divallyn

Sorry I haven't been on this board for long (about two months) but it seems like most of you would prefer to SAH. I find this surprising as I am actually very happy to be working. I love that I get my professional and adult time and come home to get to spend my time completely enthralled in my kid. Maybe its because I only have one kid and do not feel over extended? Or because I actually like my job? Would you prefer to SAH and is it because you don't like your job or other reason? Or are you happy to be a working mom?

*Sidenote - I did stay home for the first year of my sons life and while I was very grateful to have a year long maternity leave I was quite lonely and bored at times. Yes a lot of fun times were had but I really started to thrive as a person and mom when I went back to work.

 

JWSchwarz

I love my job, and I am good at it. So, I do like to work and I am happy when I am there but I can't lie and say I don't wish I could be at home playing with DS in the middle of the day sometimes. Morning is hardest, as I love playing with him in the morning before his nap. That is the one thing I really miss by working. But, pretty soon he will be in elementary school anyway, and then what would I do?

Divallyn

True, sometimes I miss him during the day. Since we have discovered travelling with a toddler is not that fun I have been spacing my three weeks of vacation time apart. So usually when I am missing him I take a vacation day in the middle of the week. Between that and long weekends I typically do pretty good. In my dream world I would work 8-3 instead of 8-4:30 or something ... But between the vacation time, personal time and long weekends its a pretty good set up in my eyes.

TheBorg7of9

I'm happy. Nobody posts when they are content, mostly when they are unhappy with something.

shakinros

TheBorg7of9 said:

I'm happy. Nobody posts when they are content, mostly when they are unhappy with something.

I second all of this.

dglvrk2

I'm a happy WM.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  I do miss DD sometimes when I'm at work, but it just makes me happier to see her at the end of the day.  I get mentally challenged, excited and motivated by what I do.  I'm a better mom and happier person for it.  I've worked hard to balance work and home.....I'm expecting DD#2 in January and know adding another kiddo to the equation will make this equilibrium more difficult to maintain.  Still, I know I'm not meant to be a SAHM.  I'm the first to commend these ladies. I have good friends who do it and know it's very demanding.  :-)

dglvrk2

shakinros said:

I'm happy. Nobody posts when they are content, mostly when they are unhappy with something.

I second all of this.

I agree.  I've seen numerous posts that clearly show general happiness, just concern about an issue. We are here to support one another.  Whether you're working, staying at home, happy with your situation or not, motherhood is tough.  The "mommy wars" that cloud so much of what we do certainly do not help us.  Hence, I appreciate this board because it's really nice to be anonymous sometimes.   

jess9802

I love my job. I worked hard to get where I am, I am proud of my accomplishments, and I am proud to provide for my family. I can't imagine not working.

Divallyn

shakinros said:

I'm happy. Nobody posts when they are content, mostly when they are unhappy with something.

I second all of this.

Yes, I guess this is quite true isn't it? I just wanted to make sure I wasn't some weird breed of mom who didn't want to SAH I guess.

EMOmamma

Love my job. I wish I could work a bit less, or have more help (housekeeper), but wouldn't choose to stay home full time. Great daycare where my kids are safe, happy, and learning.

I think a lot of women on this board are happy with working.

daisy662

I often wish I could stay at home but know that would last a short period of time before I would be bored to tears and want to go back. For me, I just wish I had more balance. I have a very demanding job at times and travel quite a bit. If I had more of a 9-5, that would be easier. In a perfect world, I would work 3 or 4 days a week but that is pretty unheard of with what I do. Plus, my salary is such that it would be silly for me to stay at home. I near triple my DH's pay and we have some hefty financial goals that will set us and my kids up well for their futures. So I try to focus on that...

shannm

That is not an accurate impression of this board. You should spend more time on it.

Kmartinrvt13

I love my job and what I do, given I would like to change my hours as others would but I can't see myself as a SAHM, just doesn't go with my personality. And like others have said I worked hard to get where I am and wouldn't change that!

YellowTulips521

I am happy working, but I'm also part time so I think that helps. I need the adult interaction. If I were full time I think I would still be happy, but probably feel more mom guilt.

financialdiva

I don't think you have spent enough time on this board then if that's your impression of it.

I work because I have to, but I don't think I would be happy as a full time SAHM either.

Stick around bc you might fit right in.

litzo27

I freaking love my job. The challenge, the colleagues, the money. I wouldn't SAH for anything but I do make sure that the time I spent with my kids I'm there 100% and we do tons of great things.

QueSrah

I love working, though I certainly don't love my actual job every day and generally wish I had four extra hours every day to get things done and have time to relax.  Still, I would be miserable as a SAHM.

Nechie122

Working is my "normal." I love kicking ass on projects, I love being recognized for a job well done, I love the security of knowing I could support myself and my DD if anything happens to DH, I love having that balance in my life between being a mom and being ME.

So, no, I would never want to be a SAHM.

LoCarb

This board is divided with those who want to work and those who have to work. Several fall in between.

I enjoy working. I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. When (not if) I win the lotto, I will continue to work doing philanthropy.

kristennd

I love my job. I actually cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks because I was going stir crazy at home.

*sparky*

Divallyn said:

Sorry I haven't been on this board for long (about two months) but it seems like most of you would prefer to SAH.

 

That is interesting - I have never gotten that vibe from this board. 

When my DS was baby, I did not want to go back to work.  A lot of it was due to hormones and exhaustion and the fact that I really was not 100% thrilled with his childcare.  Since we worked out the childcare issue, and now that he is older, I am so happy that I work.  I love having something for myself, making my own money, and using my brain.  It would truly throw DH into a full-on panic if he were to be in a sole provider situation, due to some money issues his family had when he was a child. 

I actually do work PT and the days that I am home when DS is in school I get a lot done around the house but it is pretty boring to me, so I like having the mix of days in the office and days to myself.

Once I have another baby in a few months I am afraid I may go back into my "i-don't-want-to-work" pity party mode, but I am hoping since I now know it worked out okay the first time that I can be more rational about it the second time.

FemShep

I'm a very happy working mom.  I love my job and the people I work with, I love making a difference, and I am also very appreciative of the benefits of my salary.  I wouldn't want to be a SAHM, I'm just not cut out for it.

michaelaskedlauren

No situation is perfect, but I am another Mom who overall enjoys working. I don't think I am cut out to be a full time SAHM. Some days are tougher than others like when DS is extra clingy in the morning, or I know I am missing out on him taking a new class for the first time (like today), but those get easier and fortunately I have flexibility in my job where if there is something that I really want to attend, I can.

In the end I think working makes me a better Mom to DS and a better partner to DH.

Pips09

I'm happy being a working mom, I don't think I'm cut out to SAH.

court115

I do like working. I'm not in love with my job but I love the outside interaction that I get from it. I love my son but I would be bored to tears staying home all day alone. After I had him, I changed my hours so I have off on Fridays. It's the best of both worlds. By Thursday night, I'm totally done with work and ready to spend some time at home.

Karla CS

I think for a while, I had been convinced I'd be happier as a SAHM - mostly when I was on maternity leave, doing mom's groups with SAHM's, and had no concept of how things would actually turn out to be. 

I fall into the camp of I love working, but I hate my job and the company I work for. But you know what I hate even more? The fact that for most women, taking 1 year off from work for maternity leave eats up like 37% of your earnings potential over your lifetime.

jbatch

I love working! I run a daycare with around 100 kids and 22 teachers. It is very rewarding. My daughter is here and I get to see her throughout the day when I have time but I'm still making money and doing something I enjoy.

NicoleWI

I'm leaving to SAH for awhile at the start of the new year. BUT, after three kids and several years on here, I think SO MUCH depends on your individual situation. What your spouse's schedule is like your hours, your commutes. How many kids you have. It's easy to say you love working when you like your job, work close to home, and have a great balance with your spouse. Harder, but certainly not impossible, with more challenges thrown in. Plus, of course, how much you enjoy what you actually do and whether it's a "career" or just a "job." 

When I had our first baby, I would have SAH in a heartbeat. Going back to work was incredibly hard for me and felt absolutely and completely wrong. I stuck it out and it got better, but I hated sending her to daycare (I know many of you love your daycares) and still would have SAH any time. 

With DS, I was more comfortable working, but it was still really hard. Now with DD2, the logistics just got really difficult and we weren't okay with our kids being in child care as much as they would need to be at this point in order for us both to continue to do well in our careers. So, I will be changing to SAH. I'm super excited about it, but ironically am also at a point where I have come to really value my career and the opportunities I have had through it. I very much appreciate the pluses and minuses on both sides. Although I am grateful that I get to try SAH and that it's an option for us, it's surprisingly bittersweet to leave my job...especially considering my feelings a few years ago. 

skibunny59

I love my job and I'm good at it.  (I'm an elementary school music teacher)  BUT I would much rather be home with DD.  I would love to SAH if I could but we just can't afford it right now financially.  I LOVE LOVE being home with her all summer.  I don't understand how people say they are bored being home with their kids.  I love having the luxury of going to the partk in the middle of the day or going for a walk or going to the zoo, coloring, taking a nap in the middle of the day with my daughter if I want to, etc.

Ideally it would be great to SAH until she starts school and then go back to work.

So in other words, I'm not unhappy working but I would be much happier and life would be SO much easier if I didn't work.

Fullcircle06

I like working for the most part. I enjoy the benefits from working (not just from a financial standpoint) - the interaction w/other adults, the feeling of accomplishment when I finish a project, etc, etc. I do miss DS a lot when I am away - I know he is growing super fast and learning things when I'm not around, and that bums me out, but I like that he gets to socialize w/other children regularly. I think I would be happy w/fewer hours, but I don't think SAH full time would be for me.

Red_Dahlia

I love my job and am very happy working. I don't get the sense that the posters on here want to be SAH's at all. There have been several "why do you work" or "list the positives to being a working mom" posts over the past few months that I thought were overwhelmingly tilted towards the "I like being a working mom" perspective." It can be hard, and people come to this board to discuss challenges, not necessarily to gloat about how happy and content they are, so maybe that's what you're seeing. I love working. I really do think I get the best of both worlds. I get to be a mommy AND have a career I love. 

cecilyandgautam

shannm said:

That is not an accurate impression of this board. You should spend more time on it.

Totally agree. Have you read any of the "Do you work because you have to or because you want to?" posts on this board? The vast majority want to work, me included. Sure, I wish I had more leave or that there was a paid maternity leave package, or I could work a 6 hour day instead of 8, but I love what I do, I derive satisfaction from it, and my daughter is happy. I get 4-6 waking hours with her a day, my DH & I split the house work, and we're now financially comfortable, able to meet our goals. I spent a year as the primary breadwinner, which was stressful and nerve racking. I love my work, but even if I didn't, I would be nervous about putting my family's financial security on one person again. 

Divallyn

Well it's good to see so many other mothers enjoy working like I do. Like some of you suggested I think I just need to hang around here more. Yes I was very gratefull for the one year maternity as well, I am in Canada so all moms get it and it doesn't affect your career as it is the norm. But man, it was hard to get the "working mentality" back. I think it was about two months until I felt like I was as smart as I was before mat leave or I could actually remember things, lol.

ashcody2

I haven't posted for quite a while either but I fall into the work because I have to category while my fiance is working to get his certification- I don't mind my actual job, my co-workers just tend to bring me down. I was looking for another job recently, but have come to realize that my benefits here are great, and I already make more here than I would elsewhere for the same job.

That said, I definitely will be a SAH once we have a 2nd child though.

mhickey426

I love what I do and do not hate working but I do hate leaving my daughter.  It is a double edge sword.  My dd is 6months old and it makes me sad to think about how much she changes everyday and all that I miss. 

I work in a school and really enjoyed being home with her all summer. Going back after my maternity leave wasn't bad because I knew it was just for a few weeks before the summer.  Now is totally different. The school year has just started and it gets harder everyday to leave her in the morning.  By the time I get home at night I get 2-3 hours with her which is not enough.

If I could I would be a stay at home mom.  While I love my job I love being home with her so much more.  Even when she starts school I could see myself being like a class mom or something like that especially if I have another one still at home.  

mrskelly731

I'm happy being a WM, just would rather it be PT instead of FT.  I tried to SAH until DD was 10 months.  DH and I just want more luxeries than we want to sacrifice.  If I hadn't gone back to work there would be no way we could have gone to Denver last year and Disneyland this year for vacations. 

Samiantha101

I am currently a sahm, and I have been for the last 15 months, with the exception of working pt in the evenings for a SMALL period of time.

I am starting a new job in a week. I can't wait to start. I don't have any family near by, and my h is military with no family either. I was totally in the mindset that I cannot leave my daughter with strangers.

Now that she's older and genuinely interested in kids, I think dd is going to thrive at dc. I'm not even nervous or dreading bringing her for the first day. I am so excited to talk to people, other than babies, during the day again. I have been going slightly stir crazy.

laurakaz13

Divallyn said:

Sorry I haven't been on this board for long (about two months) but it seems like most of you would prefer to SAH. I find this surprising as I am actually very happy to be working. I love that I get my professional and adult time and come home to get to spend my time completely enthralled in my kid. Maybe its because I only have one kid and do not feel over extended? Or because I actually like my job? Would you prefer to SAH and is it because you don't like your job or other reason? Or are you happy to be a working mom?

*Sidenote - I did stay home for the first year of my sons life and while I was very grateful to have a year long maternity leave I was quite lonely and bored at times. Yes a lot of fun times were had but I really started to thrive as a person and mom when I went back to work.

 

I love my job and love my career and would NEVER want to be a SAHM.  I love DD, but get tremendous satisfaction from my career successes. 

I do not think "most of this board would rather SAH" at all.  There are lots of professional women on here who love their jobs.  

Yes, we all adore our little ones and the time we get to spend with them.  But I personally feel like I'm a better mom and wife because I have a career I love. 

MNgirl326

Last year I hated the school I was in and wanted to be a SAHM more then anything. I I started counting down the days to summer break around Mid- OCtober. 

I loved being home over the summer.  We went on tons of little field trips and it was a blast. But by the time mid -august came around, I was ready for him to go back to daycare and I was ready to do something more challenging again.

I am in a new school now and I LOVE my job.  Love it.  I love the students, the culture of school, the staff, I even love the building itself.   yes I miss LO but at the same time I know he is doing well at preschool and learning a ton.  So, I am happy.  

leah2b

I'll be honest - I wish I had a part time job - perhaps like a teacher schedule.  I am an attorney, which is a terrible career choice for a mother.  Sorry - it is.  There is little to no flexibility and you have to work long hours. While I do like my job as a litigator,  I get very little time with my child.  I also live in a super annoyingly high cost of living area with super annoying commuting (nyc area) so that adds to my aggravation as a working mother.  It makes me sad and angry that I don't have much time with my child and there is not much I can do about it (without changing careers entirely).  Because of the area in which we live, we def can't afford to live on my husband's salary (who is an attorney as well -grrr).

This is a totally unpopular and flameworthy opinion, but I am jealous as hell of stay at home moms, while at the same time I don't consider what they do at all to be  "job" and it really annoys the hell out of me when SAHM try to pretend that what they do is a job.  It's not - you are caring for your kids - end of story.  You are not contributing to the GDP. That being said, I'd switch places in a heartbeat if I could.

 

If I could do it over again, I either would have been a doctor (better job satisfaction and more money) or a teacher (lots of time off and great schedule).  For all those young moms out there, please don't consider law school.  There are better and easier ways to make money.

 

MNgirl326

I love how people always wish they could have a teachers schedule.   Its amazing how people forget that much we do off the clock at home.  For example.

School starts at 9, I am there by 8 prepping for the day.  Which means I am working to get ready work.  School gets out at 3:30, I don't leave til close to 4:30.  So I work after my contracted day is over.   After LO goes to bed,  I correct homework, cut out things, plan lessons, and do more work for another hour or more. 

Then on the weekends I spend hours planning lessons, creating hands on games and activites for the students, planning units, etc.   Oh and just because the school has a day off, doesn't mean I always do- many days off are usually filled with meetings, report card writing, going to classes etc.

Yes, I get breaks, and yes I have the summer off, but I don't get paid for that.  I get paid over the summer money that was taken out of my check during the school year and then given to me over the summer.  so I can keep a consistent paycheck. 

So, as much as a teachers schedule sounds glamorous, and yes it is nice, there is a little bit of smoke and mirrors to it.   Its not quite all what it is cracked up to be.

And no I am not complaining.  I love my job, now that I am in healthy school environment.   I wouldn't trade it for anything, but just like any job there are things that have to be done behind the scenes of the regular work day and in the evenings, and on days off too.