I know why people wait till they are preg NOT bc of M/S

danic4911 · September 2013

I now know why people wait to tell everyone ESP family. I have a dating ultrasound today. First time my bean was 2 small to be dated . My step mom sent me a text make sure DH goes with you if
It's raining. He does not want to go
It's a Transvag US. I don't blame him it was uncomfortable. She thinks he should go bc he is currently unemployed. I'm sorry I am not going to make him go of he is uncomfortable. Truthfully I was uncomfortable with him in the room too. DH has had 3 job interviews with a company out in Colorado. I hope he gets it and we can move away. Then my mil texted me saying she can't wait to hear about the appt and wants to do lunch this weekend. Everyone needs to chill the F out and leave me alone . Lets hope we are in Colorado soon enough.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

He won't go because he is uncomfortable about a transvaginal us? What is he going to do during birth?

danic4911 · September 2013

O I forgot to add she also said even if its not raining make sure DH goes.
They treat me like I'm a child.
I think it's bc growing up unspent most of my time with my mom and hardly any with my dad. So I am still in his mind a little kid ANNOYINF

Serenla · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:
He won't go because he is uncomfortable about a transvaginal us? What is he going to do during birth?

I was thinking that and....didn't you guys have sex?
Eta, I understand about the mil thing, I have one who gets stupid protective of my body when I'm ku. It drives me nuts...she wouldn't let me walk on ice last April.

thomas930 · September 2013

I'm sure they are just excited....have you thought about talking to them about giving you some space? They might not realized how much they are butting in.

Yeah, the whole u/s thing....he needs to realize it's only going to get more weird from here on out. I mean you guys have had sex so what's uncomfortable being round a about the trans vag u/s.

maelic · September 2013

Be in a whole different zipcode, clearly. He's going to need to get with the program, girl.

AcaAwkward · September 2013

It's annoying when family gets all up in your business but try and remember they are just really excited about a new baby in the family.

About that transvaginal u/s...things are about to get A LOT more personal than that during cervical checks, labor, delivery, breastfeeding...he might need to toughen up.

abbeylanecb · September 2013

I'm sorry but I'm confused. What's wrong with her being excited and wanting to take you to lunch? Also your DH won't go to an ultrasound because it makes him uncomfortable?? What's he going to do during birth. He needs to grow up.

Stasi · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:

He won't go because he is uncomfortable about a transvaginal us? What is he going to do during birth?

My DH was surprised when I had a transvaginal ultrasound...not even for a pregnancy, to discover the extent of cysts on my uterus, but he came anyway and sat and held my had the whole time. I think your husband has a lot of growing up to do by the sound of it, but best of luck to you, your pregnancy, and the job hunt in CO.

PS: I know it seems overwhelming now that your mom/MIL are "bugging" you about the pregnancy, but they just want to be supportive from the sound of it. You should be thankful they want to be so involved in their future grandchild's life

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Serenla said:

Andrewsgal said:
He won't go because he is uncomfortable about a transvaginal us? What is he going to do during birth?
I was thinking that and....didn't you guys have sex?
Eta, I understand about the mil thing, I have one who gets stupid protective of my body when I'm ku. It drives me nuts.

I thought the same thing after I posted. Sex puts DH a lot closer to that area than a US. Does your hubby close his eyes during sex? And I guess oral sex is out all together?

katieharpiceland · September 2013

Not sure what makes your DH uncomfortable, its just a part of pregnancy. The weather excuse is kinda lame.

Its tough when family is all over you, but, just remember they are excited too! Just keep them in the loop and if it gets to be too much, have your DH talk to your MIL. He would do that, right?

farmsprout · September 2013

Yay! I live in Colorado and I love it here

. Hope your husband gets the job and you two can enjoy Colorful Colorado!

katieharpiceland · September 2013

Hehe, we'd never leave the house if weather stopped us :-) gale force winds for 4 days straight. Rain? He won't melt. He should go.

sugarrush · September 2013

my first ultrasound was trans vag, and my SO was there and saw me in all my glory. He was also in the room when the doc did my full gyno exam. I think your guy has to man up a little, because that's just the preview before the real show!

sueann911 · September 2013

Transvaginal US are only uncomfortable for the female. My husband is squeamish with any medical procedure and passed out during one of our IUIs. But he still comes with me because we're in this together.

IMO, tell your man to grow some balls and deal with it. There's a sheet draped over you and he won't see anything. If he's put his penis in your vagina then he should be able to deal with sitting in a chair near your head.

Suck it up buttercup. Shit is about to get way more real in the coming months.

J&NL · September 2013

I understand how aggravating it is having someone tell you what you should do or what not to do. My mom does it all the time and I can't stand it.

And I agree with the others about your H. IMO, a transvag u/s is hardly anything to be uncomfortable about compared to what's to come. He should put his big boy panties on and be supportive.

ETA: apparently I can't finish a sentence.

danic4911 · September 2013

I am sure he will come. He said he wants to see the baby. First US was like Ok surprise. But if he did not want to come its none of her biz to say he needs to go. My mil was not annoying its just after texts like that from my SM i am sensitive. SM does and says things to be controlling. Yes my SM using the rain is just a dumb thing to say. I'm 28 I have lived in fl my entire life I know how to drive in the rain lol.

notkateanymore · September 2013

It sucks when people care about you. Assholes.

BeeBee08 · September 2013

I understand being annoyed by family members. Even when they're not being annoying. My MIL now calls me "your pregnant wife" when referring to me when speaking with DH. It annoys the shit out of me.

As for DH being uncomfortable...that's just weird. I got KU with DH, an u/s tech, an RE, a catheter, speculum, and u/s probe. Essentially there was a whole surgery happening up in my business and DH sat and joked around with me the whole time. I guess I just don't understand how you can be close enough to make a baby, but uncomfortable to be there during a very normal procedure concerning the baby. He's got a long road ahead of him!

danic4911 · September 2013

Ok honestly that's not want I am saying in anyway shape or form.how dare they care. Do you know my situation with my Step mom? No? I am sick of The controlling telling me what to Do. Acting and saying she's my mom. No ur not and no matter what I do and say its not being heard. That is all. DH and I have already talked he will be coming to the appointment.

thomas930 · September 2013

danic4911 said:

Ok honestly that's not want I am saying in anyway shape or form.how dare they care. Do you know my situation with my Step mom? No? I am sick of The controlling telling me what to Do. Acting and saying she's my mom. No ur not and no matter what I do and say its not being heard. That is all. DH and I have already talked he will be coming to the appointment.

Sweet Heart, we can only go based off what you've told us. In your OP you said nothing about having a controlling SM. You just complained about family texting and calling you. Don't throw out the "you don't know my life" if you leave info out. Your whole post was really confusing and it took 4 times reading it to even start to understand what you were even trying to say.

LittleLady77 · September 2013

It's really special to have DH involved in your pregnancy as much as possible... Yours is unemployed and doesn't want to go because HE will be uncomfortable?!?! He needs to grow up.

danic4911 · September 2013

Are you people not reading??? He is coming to the appointment. I am not even worth trying to explain anymore.

C2B2 · September 2013

My husband went to our first appointment. And was a little weirded out by the dr examining me. He said, "it's just weird to see some other guy with his hand in your vagina"
Now he knows what to expect at appointments.

sueann911 · September 2013

danic4911 said:
Are you people not reading??? He is coming to the appointment. I am not even worth trying to explain anymore.

Well I'm glad he put on his big boy britches and decided that he's not uncomfortable anymore.

Don't be surprised when you want to vent and you get called out for being ridiculous. Your OP says nothing about your relationship with your SM so pulling the "You don't know my lyfe!"- drama isn't going to fly.

Since your husband decided to be a grown up, now it's your turn. There's a real simple solution to all of your problems. If you don't want their opinions, either tell them in a civilized conversation OOOORRRRR stop answering the phone and texts. Quit blaming other people and start taking some responsibility.

Mamamonzo · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:
He won't go because he is uncomfortable about a transvaginal us? What is he going to do during birth?

I was going to say the exact same thing. The birth is going to be very interesting.

Dianakdee · September 2013

At least you had someone offering to go with you I had to go alone! It was scary at first but the most amazing thing ever! Mine wasn't transvaginal though .

pdilly2b · September 2013

I had my first appt yesterday and DH got to be present for my talk with the midwife about hemorrhoids. It can be a lot worse than a trans-vag ultrasound.

RayRay007 · September 2013

I am confused. What does rain have to do with anything?

MarcyElizabeth · September 2013

This whole thing hurt my brain so much.

GoldenGibson · September 2013

How old are you?

MamaFantastic · September 2013

danic4911 said:
I am not even worth trying to explain anymore.

Best grammar error ever.

MamaFantastic · September 2013

grr, accidental double post from my phone

2010weddinggal · September 2013

I would give anything to have family closer to celebrate, take me out to lunch and care (Not that they don't we get calls everyday) I understand he is going now but a argument should not have even occurred. He does not feel comfortable? Wow and as for your family well someone told them, you can not be all back off now, they are excited and worried.

JWest07 · September 2013

I am a person who is thankful that in this world is made up of people with different feelings, opinions, perspectives, etc. I am scheduled for a transvaginal ultrasound this week, and I do not want my husband to come. I wouldn't want him to come during a pelvic exam either. Would he? Sure. Is it NECESSARY that he be there? Nope. Is DH still very involved? Yup! I am over 9 weeks and no one knows I am preggers besides my DH. I won't tell anyone until I suspect they might start to figure it out. At that time I will tell immediate family, and my supervisors (and when I tell them I ask for them to be discrete because it is a personal matter). I don't "announce" it to friends, I just tell them when it comes up naturally. Like you said, everyone wants to make a big deal of it (which being pregnant is), but the attention makes me uncomfortable, so I avoid it as much as I can. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate it. And...as far as everyone blasting you about your DH and whether or not he will be able to handle birth if he doesn't want to go to a transvaginal ultrasound - I'm sure he will be fine. My DH did not attend pelvic exams and transvaginal ultrasounds, but was my hero during labor/birth of my DS1. Good luck, I hope things go well for you, and I hope your DH gets one of the jobs he is interested in!

cczp8211 · September 2013

My husband went with me to my transvaginal and it wasnt weird at all. I would think missing out on seeing his baby would be far worse. Eh up to him. As far as fam making you crazy, they will be like that your whole pregnancy. Everyone thinks they've been there done that and there is no possible way you could ever know what's best for yourself. As a new mom you are obviously completely dumb (in their minds) Just stand up for yourself and remind them that a) Your not breakable. b)if you need help you'll ask for it. c) you need space. Good luck

Mustardseed2007 · September 2013

I Heart The 80s said:

Is your husband a Duggar by chance? Maybe, Josh?

I saw an episode of the duggars where they did a transvaginal ultrasound and the cameras left the room but Josh stayed in. That was for their first I think. So even the duggars will do it.

I'm going to say that having that big dildo looking thing put in your vag by a nurse is not at all like sex, so I don't think that is totally fair. It IS a bit weird. But yeah, it's just the beginning fo sure! The birth is SO much grosser.

railroadRN · September 2013

This whole thread just blows my mind. If a man can knock you up, he can stand in a room with you while a sheet is draped over your knees during a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I can't imagine how this would make anyone uncomfortable unless they were middle schoolers. Y'all are married, right?

If rain is either one of your excuses, I can't even...

It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to your in-laws and since they are trying to encourage him to go to the appointment, you are hell bent to go against what they want and make sure he does NOT go. "Oh but it's raining." "My vagina makes him uncomfortable."

My husband wouldn't miss an appointment for anything. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

danic4911 · September 2013

I think everyone should stop commenting bc we went to the appointment he came. The rain comment was something my step mom said. Nothing to so with my husband. I told her that was the dumbest thing I ever heard. I told her he was coming and just bc there was rain would not mean he automatically should go. he should go bc he wants 2. not being forced. 3 weeks ago he was uncomfortable bc it was unexpected. . We talked he said it was not a big deal now that he knows what to expect. It was taken way out of context. He went to the appointment. And is glad he did not miss it. Honestly I may just change the post bc this out of control.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

I think a husband scared of a transvaginal us is out of control so there is that.

I also really hope you are more literate than you sound. I have to read your posts like ten times to even understand them.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

danic4911 said:
I now know why people wait to tell everyone ESP family. I have a dating ultrasound today. First time my bean was 2 small to be dated . My step mom sent me a text make sure DH goes with you if
It's raining. He does not want to go
It's a Transvag US. I don't blame him it was uncomfortable. She thinks he should go bc he is currently unemployed. I'm sorry I am not going to make him go of he is uncomfortable. Truthfully I was uncomfortable with him in the room too. DH has had 3 job interviews with a company out in Colorado. I hope he gets it and we can move away. Then my mil texted me saying she can't wait to hear about the appt and wants to do lunch this weekend. Everyone needs to chill the F out and leave me alone . Lets hope we are in Colorado soon enough.

Quoted in case it disappears I would hate to lose this gem.

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I know why people wait till they are preg NOT bc of M/S

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