Am I being unreasonable? just need insight

jmo866 · September 2013

I sincerely hope you never plan to give your child anything otherwise not 100% Dr. Oz approved her entire life. Get real. It was a mistake, she had to eat. Unhealthy eating habits? Disastrous?? You eat artificial things probably all the time and are still alive. She'll survive. Many babies (like mine) required formula initially for top up to help with issues such as jaundice, late milk production etc. Be happy you didn't have to do that. Take it easy.

thatoneredhead · September 2013

Do yall know how disappointed I am that this is now looking like undeniable mud? Her other account is spewing trollish BS. Dang it!

suv75 · September 2013

Is this shit storm still going on?

[Deleted User] · September 2013

LOLYSHIT this is still going on?!

imakeeff0rts · September 2013

aeh72 said:

You hope they close and other families lose their daycare? Un-f'ing-believable. You're the worst person I've ever seen on TB.

I'm torn between her and the woman a couple of months back who posted here asking about how to get her two week old to sleep through the night (she was letting her cry ALL NIGHT and not feeding her if I remember correctly because "they're the parents and she's the child and she needs to work around our lives"). I'm going to have to flip a coin on that one.

aeh72 · September 2013

aeh72 said:

You hope they close and other families lose their daycare? Un-f'ing-believable. You're the worst person I've ever seen on TB.

I'm torn between her and the woman a couple of months back who posted here asking about how to get her two week old to sleep through the night (she was letting her cry ALL NIGHT and not feeding her if I remember correctly because "they're the parents and she's the child and she needs to work around our lives"). I'm going to have to flip a coin on that one.

agreed, it's a tough call, but I think you may have the winner. holy sh#t, that's awful.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

kellykinns said:

thatoneredhead said:

Do yall know how disappointed I am that this is now looking like undeniable mud? Her other account is spewing trollish BS. Dang it!

Her other account??

This. Hurr???

@VPGIRL06 : I'm so sorry you had that experience in the hospital. I hope that the OT can help your LO with swallowing & that things can continue to improve. (((Big hugs))).

MuddyBuggy · September 2013

Leave her alone. She's just telling you her opinion.

suv75 · September 2013

aeh72 said:

aeh72 said:

You hope they close and other families lose their daycare? Un-f'ing-believable. You're the worst person I've ever seen on TB.

I'm torn between her and the woman a couple of months back who posted here asking about how to get her two week old to sleep through the night (she was letting her cry ALL NIGHT and not feeding her if I remember correctly because "they're the parents and she's the child and she needs to work around our lives"). I'm going to have to flip a coin on that one.

agreed, it's a tough call, but I think you may have the winner. holy sh#t, that's awful.

Was that for real? I'm so sad for that poor baby. It breaks my heart

VPGIRL06 · September 2013

@primrosemama -thank you! she's doing ALOT better. I had speech issues has a child as did a couple of my brothers and sisters, and a lot of time it stems from motor-oral issues as an infant so hopefully we an avoid that for her...

jensriot · September 2013

kellykinns said:

thatoneredhead said:

Do yall know how disappointed I am that this is now looking like undeniable mud? Her other account is spewing trollish BS. Dang it!

Her other account??

link please?

paismama · September 2013

You are so perfect I can hardly stand it. It is self righteous women, wait, GIRLS, like you that make other women feel poorly for their choices when, in reality, their main concern isn't to look good for a bunch of doctors and health food nuts. Their main concern is the nourishment of their child. In my book, ALL the women here are better moms than you could imagine yourself to be. Shame on you for degrading other mothers. I hope the way you treat people helps you to sleep better at night.

Ps, hope your milk dries up. Serves you right.

BebeMakesThree · September 2013

I'm not going to lie- I would be upset about the situation too. Mainly more upset that they didn't call to ask of you or someone could bring more before resorting to formula. That being said I wouldn't compare the formula to processed junk either. Tis is coming from someone whose childnisnalso EBF from day one.

aliverson84 · September 2013

Yes they should have called you, but your comments about formula are really out of line. What if you were like some moms who have their heart set on breastfeeding and for one reason or another were not able to do so. Then how would you feel about formula. My daughter was born 4 weeks early and wasn't able to latch on for the first 6 weeks, I had no choice but to supplement formula. My daughter is a very smart and happy 2 year old, formula didn't hurt her at all!

I understand being upset that they made that decision with out checking with you, but relax a little. Talk with the director and have a plan in place if this were to happen again.

deanna_nicole · September 2013

I have never felt the need to reply to a post before this. But for this one I feel I should. Should your daycare have called you about the situation? Absolutely. Now that this incident came up you can explain to the daycare staff in full detail about your desire to exclusively breast feed. Are you overreacting? Definitely. One day of formula is not going to harm or damage your child. And even suggesting that is beyond ridiculous. Formula babies are not poisoned like you suggested. Do not be that mother who makes the entire daycare staff (who maybe wonderful care takers) hate you or cringe every time you walk into the door over this. It is not worth it. If they are terrified to watch your child she isn't going to get the best of care. Talk to the director and tell them that there is always an extra supply of milk if there ever was another spill. Explain that you are upset about this and that you don't see want this outcome to happen again. If they are fully aware of your desire to exclusively us breast milk than this should never happen again. If it does then definitely switch daycares.

BellaQT417 · September 2013

I agree with momhasamigraine 100%. Why is everyone bashing her opinion on formula. It's her opinion. She didn't ask you to critique and bash her thoughts on formula. She asked if she was overreacting to the situation, which I don't think she is. I would have been furious too! How did they know they the baby wouldn't be allergic? What if something would have happened after they gave the formula. It's not right. The daycare teacher should be written up. To those saying, "would you rather let your child starve?" Really?? If they would have called her and informed her of the situation, I'm sure she would have done what she could to get her milk. It's not like the child would have starved. I wouldn't go back to the daycare. Who knows what else goes on.

nicoleceline · September 2013

I think if you have to ask if you're being unreasonable, then you are. Yes, the daycare should've called you, but how many other children are in this daycare? Talk to the director and make your wishes known again. Put your child on the wait list for one of those other daycare centers, that way if this one continues not to work out, then you have a back up in the works.

Secondly, thanks for judgmental. My son didn't latch, so I had to pump. Then my milk dried up, so I couldn't continue to breastfeed. Nor was donor milk an option-I have no clue who that milk was coming from, and they give that milk to babies in the NICU here. Not everyone has that option. My son, who is 4 1/2 months, is crawling like crazy now, is thriving well on formula. He's doing better on formula than he did on breastmilk.

You're the one who's fueling the "Mommy Wars." Not everyone can breastfeed or wants to. The important thing is the health of your child. Also, if you're this pissy over a few bottles of formula getting into your child, I'd hate to be your daughter when she gets older and decides to sneak candy or sweets because of your view. Birthday's in elementary school are going to be tough.

Also, if you or a family member is able to drop everything when the daycare calls and drop off milk, then you may not really need daycare. I don't know your situation, and at this point I don't care because you try to make others feel inferior for the choices they have to make, but maybe if you want your child to be taken care of a certain way, then you or a family member need to watch her. Daycares have other kids to take care of and can't always do things your way.

LadySnowLeopard · September 2013

see my exclusively formula fed two year old. she was fed formula for the first year of life bc she would NOT breastfeed. she didn't even like the taste. If I didn't feed her formula, she would have gone hungry. She walked at 9 months. She could run at 13 mos. She could count to ten at 18 months. Now she can say over 50 words & knows more than half the alphabet, meaning when I write a letter down, she can identify it. Please don't say formula fed babies are inferior because they are clearly not.

Eyansmom · September 2013

Sure, they should have called. However, you should have anticipated that accidents are going to happen. Leave extra breast milk everyday! If this is your only complaint about this daycare, yes you are overreacting. They needed to feed your child and that is what they did! If you are going to react to every situation like this, your child is going to grow up to be a nervous wreck. Surely, you must realize that your child is going to get things you don't won't her to have. I have 4 kids from 2 years to 13 years. I exclusively breast fed, supplemented with formula, and exclusively formula fed. They are all equally healthy and also smart. This one incident isn't going to harm your child. I'm sure your pediatrician would tell you the same. This appears to be more about you and your breast milk than your child anyway. You should really discuss your emotional state with your physician.

Stillharbor · September 2013

First, we have all spilled the milk once in LO's life. And I would ask... Did your LO have extra bottles of milk in case this happened? If there were extra bottles to use, then it was wrong for the teachers to give LO formula. However, if there were no extra milk, the teachers should have taken a moment to call you about the situation. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to leave work to bring more milk. If you could, then fine. However, if you were not able to leave or LO was hungry and it would take a while for you to get there, then the formula could serve as a minor substitute. I wouldn't be so angry about the formula. I would have been angry about the heads up. You made your wishes known and they did not consult you at the time before proceeding. It wasn't life or death, there was time to make a decision.

aeh72 · September 2013

BellaQT417 said:

I agree with momhasamigraine 100%. Why is everyone bashing her opinion on formula. It's her opinion. She didn't ask you to critique and bash her thoughts on formula. She asked if she was overreacting to the situation, which I don't think she is. I would have been furious too! How did they know they the baby wouldn't be allergic? What if something would have happened after they gave the formula. It's not right. The daycare teacher should be written up. To those saying, "would you rather let your child starve?" Really?? If they would have called her and informed her of the situation, I'm sure she would have done what she could to get her milk. It's not like the child would have starved. I wouldn't go back to the daycare. Who knows what else goes on.

Um, because in stating her "opinion," she bashed people who formula feed in a horribly ignorant, offensive, self-righteous and sanctimonious way. If she had simply left it at she does not prefer to use formula, she would not have received the fully-justified bashing that she did. And, if you really look at the responses, you'll see that while the vast majority of responders were offended by her statements about formula, many people did agree with her that they would have been upset too that daycare did not call. She received a fair and balanced response, considering the statements she, herself, made.

kbiallas · September 2013

Girlfriend, I had an emergency C-section after 37 hours of labor. When the incision got infected a week later, I had to feed my son formula for twelve days while I was on antibiotics that were not newborn-friendly. He's still nursing at naptime and bedtime, at the age of three and a half years, and he's completely fine after nearly two weeks of formula during his first three weeks of life. In fact, he's the brightest kid in his preschool class, enough so that his teachers, the day care director, and his pediatrician comment on it. Frequently. Yes, it's frightening to consider that your child might have had an allergic reaction. But I have plenty of friends who weren't able to breastfeed, and their kids are fine too, after being raised on formula instead of breastmilk. I'm glad your child didn't have an allergic reaction. You should be, too. Keep that thought in mind in case you -- heaven forbid -- cannot nurse your child for a length of time. Yes, we could have used donor breast milk, but I don't want some other woman giving my kid diseases, and it would have cost $25 to $50 an ounce. Formula samples were provided free from the manufacturer directly and from the hospital, so we spent maybe $20 on formula for those twelve days. After a $3,000 hospital bill for the emergency C-section, and my 12 weeks of maternity leave with NO PAY, I consider the formula a blessing that was affordable and the right solution for us. Please relax.

melanie7182129 · September 2013

Reading through these comments, it appears you need a little support! You most certainly did NOT overreact. If the daycare needed to deviate from your expectations, they should have called you instead of making a decision about what to do and letting you know about it later. I would make it abundantly clear that an incident like this occurring again would have some serious ramifications to their center. And, I'm really sorry this happened. I would feel EXACTLY the way you feel.

Do some research, ladies. Commercial formula is full of unhealthy ingredients. Read the label. It also changes the healthy intestinal flora that babies are born with. There are definitely options for those that can't breastfeed, such as donor milk and homemade formula that doesn't have any processed ingredients in it. I say this not to hurt feelings or make anyone feel guilty, but it's factual information that a lot of mamas simply aren't aware of.

HBerube9954 · September 2013

I breast feed my daughter and agree that is the healthiest thing. My daughter does get formula once in a while though. In some cases breast feeding isn't possible and i think it's disgraceful the way you are berating formula. Some times there isnt a choice. You say they took the lazy way out and while I agree that they should have called you I think that accidents happen and maybe since you have stash of breast milk you should have left some there in case an accident happened. I don't think you should switch day cares but that you should make sure they have extra there and make sure that they understand how important it is to you. You are overreacting to a degree, but I do understand where you are coming from. They definitely should have called because it is true that your child could have had a reaction to the formula. But if your child is fine maybe just work with the day care to prepare for incidents in the future.

awild08 · December 2013

I agree with most posters in that the center should have called you and asked how you wanted to handle it..However you are over reacting..many babies thrive on formula and what are you going to do as your child grows? Are you going to follow her around everywhere and monitor everything she puts in her mouth? You asked Bumpies for our opinions so please don't feel the need to defend your self against everyone that may offer a different opinion...I think you need to relax a bit. Your child isn't going to combust or turn into a pumpkin in a single event of eating formula and as they grow..There will be worse things going into the mouth and bigger issues to worry about. Breathe lady...breath....

AprilWC · December 2013

They should have called you but formula is not bad. I was formula fed as a child and I'm healthier then a lot of breast fed people I know. I maybe get sick once a year at that, and if I do it's a little cold.

jeneshields · December 2013

I'm not sure how they would have spilled your BM but accidents happen. And yes rhey should have called you first.

Do you send your milk in the bags, such as frozen? To avoid hassle with my daycare and accidents like spilled milk I prepare bottles of my BM every day for my LO. You might give that a try.

HZ2012 · December 2013

momhasamigraine said:

Bensmom13 said:

I think it's not right that they gave your daughter formula without your consent and I'd probably talk to the director about that seeing as you said you told them not to. They definitely should have called you and let you decide how to handle it.

Although- I have to say.... I don't think giving a bottle of similac is like giving a baby a Pepsi! I think your hatred of formula is a little over the top but to each their own. Not trying to start something but formula is not the devil you're making it out to be, and it's kind of rude to call it 'substandard junk'.

Formula is substandard and highly inadequate when compared to mother's milk. And as far as referring to it as junk, I do consider it as all other processed food to be in the junk food category. The fact that I'm taking the time, consideration and effort when it comes to feeding my child just to have daycare undo all of that is not over the top at all.

Good luck when your LO goes to school or play at a friends house. What are you gonna do wire her mouth shut? Relax - formula is not as bad as you think it is in your head.

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Am I being unreasonable? just need insight

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