FFF Specifically Pros and Cons of being a SAHM

dizzycooks · September 2013

And I thought I would skip this thread...I would have missed the fun.

Yep, yep, and yep to all the replies. I would never even consider letting DH get a second job as long as night and weekend jobs are available to me.

peacelove&mama · September 2013

She must be napping. Lol.

lightgetsin · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:

I Heart The 80s said:
This thread is making me stabby.
u can explain why if u would like. You're free to share your opinion. Just try not to flame anyone else in them process. This is meant to be a judgement free thread

M0ON said:

KC_13 said:

Andrewsgal said:

KaylaC0514 said:

Andrewsgal said:
Um you should feel guilty. Your DH is getting a second job because you SAH. That is crap.
He is able to make a lot more than I am. So not crap at all haha
I would keep other kids in my home or work nights before I let DH work a second job that is so selfish.

Yup. Why would you allow your dh be a stranger to your kid? I would give up cable, Internet, dinners out and any sort of luxury before I'd make my dh work a second job if I couldn't clear enough to justify daycare. Obviously if you have money to go out you can make changes to make this happen...

This exactly.

i cant believe this is for real.

I agree with this all 1000%. I have been a SAHM since 2002. There have been times where DH had good paying jobs, bad paying jobs and no job. Through all of those changes we have had to adapt. Sometimes we have cable and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we have $ for the movies and other times we go to a 1$ theater or a park, etc. When we have needed more money I am right there trying to come up with a plan or part time job that I can do. The thing is, DH and I are in this together. We actually really care about and respect each other. I would hate to ever see him do two jobs for this reason.

chardonnay24 · September 2013

Pros: I love being available all day, every day. I know that my kiddo is safe, well cared for, and loved, and I could never say that when he was at daycare when I worked PT. I love being able to take him to the zoo, children's museum, science museum, park, play dates, amusement park, swimming pool, classes, and hiking. I love that I am giving him an amazing childhood with tons of fun experiences.

Cons: I hate being available all day. :-) I get really sick of the constant, incessant chatter and neediness. My husband works 70 - 80 hours a week so I am with my kid all.the.time. I am an introvert and it is really draining for me to just be with a person like that all day long, talking and interacting. I really, really need my alone time. I miss talking to adults about adult things (whenever I am with mom friends we generally only talk about our kids).

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

Ok. Well. Its hard for me to understand your comments and apply your "truth" to my life. As no, we are not educated. We have not had the opportunity to go to college like apparently all of you were. DH had a good job and so we started our family. Not knowing we would lose that, and have to go over the road (which by the way pays a lot better than min wage, which you educated people should know). We dont have any debt, but can not afford to live on our own and live with patents who take me out and pay for muffins and coffee, not me. The kind of jobs i can get are min wage part time. He can get about five dollars more an hour than I can which would allow us to buy diapers which we otherwise cannot afford becuase of car insurance, gas for work, phone bill, prepaid by the way, and food. Also, if any of you lived in michigan, even if you were educated, would be having just as hard a time as we are as education does not matter as much in the area we live. We are also unable to move unless a company wants to pay for us to as we are living barely pay check to pay check. I completely agree with you that this is BS, but if I were able to get out nights and weekends after spending all day awake, taking care of our children, and work the whole night through, when would you recommend i sleep. Do the math you educated people. In order to support a family of four one would need to be able to make enough for rent or mortgage, car payment(because already have one that we cant get out of, i checked) insurance, phone, food, clothing, diapers, utilities, maintenance on house and vehicles. I should go on because you educated people apparently do have bills, but you get the point. I do realize that it was ignorant of me to think that people in this world were considerate, and understanding.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:

Louiej said:
Lol at unity horse...::snort::

but ok OP, really. If you were looking for someone to share experiences with, this isn't the board. The women here are hard working, strong, self respecting mothers and wives/so's. This board is a good place to encourage each other and give reassurance that people are in the same boat as you when you're having a hard day. We also fight/argue, but that's ok too.

the reason you got sassed is because you're bragging about staying in your PJs while your husband works his ass off outside the home. Its not fair for him and your children to miss out on quality time so you can stay home. They need him more than they need you to stay home.
OK. My husband has a desk job and often admits that my job is harder than his. We both work just as hard IMO. SAHMs have challenges but they reality of it is we are priveledged to be able to do so. Hard days come and go no matter what your "job" is.

But you aren't privileged to do so. If your husband is getting a second job you can't afford to stay home.

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:

Ok. Well. Its hard for me to understand your comments and apply your "truth" to my life. As no, we are not educated. We have not had the opportunity to go to college like apparently all of you were. DH had a good job and so we started our family. Not knowing we would lose that, and have to go over the road (which by the way pays a lot better than min wage, which you educated people should know). We dont have any debt, but can not afford to live on our own and live with patents who take me out and pay for muffins and coffee, not me. The kind of jobs i can get are min wage part time. He can get about five dollars more an hour than I can which would allow us to buy diapers which we otherwise cannot afford becuase of car insurance, gas for work, phone bill, prepaid by the way, and food. Also, if any of you lived in michigan, even if you were educated, would be having just as hard a time as we are as education does not matter as much in the area we live. We are also unable to move unless a company wants to pay for us to as we are living barely pay check to pay check. I completely agree with you that this is BS, but if I were able to get out nights and weekends after spending all day awake, taking care of our children, and work the whole night through, when would you recommend i sleep. Do the math you educated people. In order to support a family of four one would need to be able to make enough for rent or mortgage, car payment(because already have one that we cant get out of, i checked) insurance, phone, food, clothing, diapers, utilities, maintenance on house and vehicles. I should go on because you educated people apparently do have bills, but you get the point. I do realize that it was ignorant of me to think that people in this world were considerate, and understanding.

haha awww DH hacked my account. U must be bored at work =p Our little guy is asleep after a long day of teething, just got my much needed shower, and ready to put my swollen feet up!! (Oh and have some coffee and a muffin, darn don't have any... oh well. At least I'm in my pajamas! Gasp!! I'm such a martyr..) Thanks for trying. I am so blessed to have you and your support. It just shows that were in this together. I've been on TB long enough to know people like this are just too ignorant and insecure to give up once they get going. No matter what you say to these people they aren't going to absorb any of it. I appreciate your effort though! I love you!

Minipenguin · September 2013

Honestly, I can't imagine moving in with family so I can afford to SAH and then intentionally getting pregnant again, causing MH to need a second job. You should look into online colleges or a community college and educate yourself so you can become independent. Education may not "mean much" where you live but once you have a career you can move and advance your career, save for your children's college, and provide an example of how adults live instead of playing house while eating muffins and drinking coffee in someone else's home.

rockyrollgirl · September 2013

BSC

Andrewsgal · September 2013

OMG it has been years since I have seen a DH hacked my account excuse. Thanks for the laugh.

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

To all of you "stabbies" GL in your lives. Continue feeling oh so powerful in controlling your forum. What a waste of time and effort, why don't you consider doing something that actually contributes to society!! It's much more rewarding building people up, than trying to tear people down... I'm just sayin. Think about the kind of person you are being and modeling for your children. I wish this thread wouldn't have gotten trashed. I think it would have been interesting to see what raw info people would have shared without fear of judgement. But unfortunately most ppl don't like to subject themselves to internet bashing. Funny thing is, for me, I really couldn't care less.

Just want to end this with PUPPIES RAINBOWS AND GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my

penguingrrl · September 2013

OP, are you talking to yourself? This post took a really strange turn. You aren't privileged to SAH, you're living as someone else's charity case. And how is it that your husband makes more than minimum wage and works f/t and you can't live independently but still can't save to move somewhere with better opportunities? If that's the case you need a course in money management.

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

First educated person to

Andrewsgal said:

OMG it has been years since I have seen a DH hacked my account excuse. Thanks for the laugh.

no really, honestly I wouldn't have wasted my time writing everything he wrote because I know how things go on these kind of threads on TB. I've been on here over a year, on and off. But think what you want.

Minipenguin · September 2013

It's really the muffins that throws me over the edge... Really, muffins? So bizarre.

rockyrollgirl · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:
To all of you "stabbies" GL in your lives. Continue feeling oh so powerful in controlling your forum. What a waste of time and effort, why don't you consider doing something that actually contributes to society!! It's much more rewarding building people up, than trying to tear people down... I'm just sayin. Think about the kind of person you are being and modeling for your children. I wish this thread wouldn't have gotten trashed. I think it would have been interesting to see what raw info people would have shared without fear of judgement. But unfortunately most ppl don't like to subject themselves to internet bashing. Funny thing is, for me, I really couldn't care less.

Just want to end this with PUPPIES RAINBOWS AND GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my

Lol! Contribute by eating muffins?

zbeesma86 · September 2013

edit-- rephrase- who would want to hack a bump account?

Andrewsgal · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:
First educated person to

Andrewsgal said:

OMG it has been years since I have seen a DH hacked my account excuse. Thanks for the laugh.

no really, honestly I wouldn't have wasted my time writing everything he wrote because I know how things go on these kind of threads on TB. I've been on here over a year, on and off. But think what you want.

No one believes you. Second you are setting a horrible example for your children mooching off your parents because you are too busy eating muffins to work.

peacelove&mama · September 2013

chardonnay24 said:
Pros: I love being available all day, every day. I know that my kiddo is safe, well cared for, and loved, and I could never say that when he was at daycare when I worked

KaylaC0514 said:

KaylaC0514 said:

Ok. Well. Its hard for me to understand your comments and apply your "truth" to my life. As no, we are not educated. We have not had the opportunity to go to college like apparently all of you were. DH had a good job and so we started our family. Not knowing we would lose that, and have to go over the road (which by the way pays a lot better than min wage, which you educated people should know). We dont have any debt, but can not afford to live on our own and live with patents who take me out and pay for muffins and coffee, not me. The kind of jobs i can get are min wage part time. He can get about five dollars more an hour than I can which would allow us to buy diapers which we otherwise cannot afford becuase of car insurance, gas for work, phone bill, prepaid by the way, and food. Also, if any of you lived in michigan, even if you were educated, would be having just as hard a time as we are as education does not matter as much in the area we live. We are also unable to move unless a company wants to pay for us to as we are living barely pay check to pay check. I completely agree with you that this is BS, but if I were able to get out nights and weekends after spending all day awake, taking care of our children, and work the whole night through, when would you recommend i sleep. Do the math you educated people. In order to support a family of four one would need to be able to make enough for rent or mortgage, car payment(because already have one that we cant get out of, i checked) insurance, phone, food, clothing, diapers, utilities, maintenance on house and vehicles. I should go on because you educated people apparently do have bills, but you get the point. I do realize that it was ignorant of me to think that people in this world were considerate, and understanding.

haha awww DH hacked my account. U must be bored at work =p Our little guy is asleep after a long day of teething, just got my much needed shower, and ready to put my swollen feet up!! (Oh and have some coffee and a muffin, darn don't have any... oh well. At least I'm in my pajamas! Gasp!! I'm such a martyr..) Thanks for trying. I am so blessed to have you and your support. It just shows that were in this together. I've been on TB long enough to know people like this are just too ignorant and insecure to give up once they get going. No matter what you say to these people they aren't going to absorb any of it. I appreciate your effort though!

I love you!

WTAF did I just read? Are you seriously going back and forth with your DH *cough* (yourself)?

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Lol I love the dH hacked my account excuse one of my favorite.

jensriot · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:

First educated person to

Andrewsgal said:

OMG it has been years since I have seen a DH hacked my account excuse. Thanks for the laugh.

no really, honestly I wouldn't have wasted my time writing everything he wrote because I know how things go on these kind of threads on TB. I've been on here over a year, on and off. But think what you want.

It's all bs anyway so whatever. You told another board that you have free childcare with your mom and you can't afford to SAH much longer.

notkateanymore · September 2013

JenS2203 said:

KaylaC0514 said:

First educated person to

Andrewsgal said:

OMG it has been years since I have seen a DH hacked my account excuse. Thanks for the laugh.

no really, honestly I wouldn't have wasted my time writing everything he wrote because I know how things go on these kind of threads on TB. I've been on here over a year, on and off. But think what you want.

It's all bs anyway so whatever. You told another board that you have free childcare with your mom and you can't afford to SAH much longer.

So basically you're full of shit...nice example for your kids.

MountaineerMomma · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:

To all of you "stabbies" GL in your lives. Continue feeling oh so powerful in controlling your forum. What a waste of time and effort, why don't you consider doing something that actually contributes to society!! It's much more rewarding building people up, than trying to tear people down... I'm just sayin. Think about the kind of person you are being and modeling for your children. I wish this thread wouldn't have gotten trashed. I think it would have been interesting to see what raw info people would have shared without fear of judgement. But unfortunately most ppl don't like to subject themselves to internet bashing. Funny thing is, for me, I really couldn't care less.

Just want to end this with PUPPIES RAINBOWS AND GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my

I really, really wanted to be nice and ignore...but really? Contribute to society? If you really had been here for a year, you'd know by now that MANY of the women on this board contribute to society (and they get out of their pajamas to do it too). Hav takes care of two intellectually disabled men and lots of the ladies do volunteer work that help those less fortunate than them...oh, and they do it without mooching off parents. Now, I get it, hard times happen. But please, do yourself a favor and look into some grants available, take some classes and stop expecting people to blow rainbows up your nose for eating muffins and drinking coffee on your parents' dime.

Allisonville · September 2013

I almost didn't click on this thread again but I'm so glad I did! I was all feeling bad for the OP before the crazy came out. Good stuff!

peacelove&mama · September 2013

@KaylaC0514 ... And you contribute to society how? By buying coffee and muffins?

vlagrl29 · September 2013

This board has been really entertaining lately

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

Its been fun. Sorry were so beneath all of you. Must be hard to be so perfect! U guys are hilarious.... and quite sad. I didn't even realize this kind of crap existed. Wow. I'm going to go back to being a loser now! Next time u eat a muffin you can feel guilty and think about how we would be laughing in your hypocritical faces.

rockyrollgirl · September 2013

peacelove&mama · September 2013

KaylaC0514 said:
Its been fun. Sorry were so beneath all of you. Must be hard to be so perfect! U guys are hilarious.... and quite sad. I didn't even realize this kind of crap existed. Wow. I'm going to go back to being a loser now! Next time u eat a muffin you can feel guilty and think about how we would be laughing in your hypocritical faces.

But we buy (or bake) our own muffins. No guilt here!

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Its been fun. Sorry were so beneath all of you. Must be hard to be so perfect! U guys are hilarious.... and quite sad. I didn't even realize this kind of crap existed. Wow. I'm going to go back to being a loser now! Next time u eat a muffin you can feel guilty and think about how we would be laughing in your hypocritical faces.

The difference is I act like an adult, live in my own house and buy my own muffins.

notkateanymore · September 2013

I think I'm going to get a doughnut...fuck muffins.

rockyrollgirl · September 2013

Omg...pumpkin cream cheese muffins.

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