When people are mad you didn't tell them sooner..

kashibear · September 2013

Any advice for dealing with that one? We just announced on FB today, and it's pretty obvious that we have 2 friends who are either pissed or had their feelings hurt that we didn't tell them before everyone else. We didn't really tell a TON of people before FB (just family and very close friends), but we obviously didn't intend to hurt anyone in the process. Has this happened at all to you?

Excitedmum35 · September 2013

Yes. They need to realise its not about them!

rachbaby1 · September 2013

A simple congratulations is the only appropriate response here!

peachy0709 · September 2013

Happened a lot when we got engaged. I never quite figured out how to handle it -- it's not really fair to you and you don't deserve that kind of pressure during this happy time. Hopefully they will calm down and get over it with time.

jbelle · September 2013

Choose to ignore.

cdnmomma · September 2013

I've got a 'friend' who has yet to congratulate us because I'm sure she's mad that I didn't tell her directly. I figure people who care about you will be happy for you no matter how they find out. Those who are more concerned with being told first or in a certain way need to get over themselves and realize its not about them. Sucks to deal with this. I was hurt at first but now I don't really care so much.

linsmarie31 · September 2013

what the heck did we do before facebook? i do not believe, for one second, that my parents took the time to CALL every person they knew to let them know a baby was on the way... if you weren't family or in someone's immediate circle of friends/coworkers, its likely you didn't find out until you saw the couple or got the birth announcement!

whom ever is mad at you needs to get over it! Don't sweat it!

Mcsweets · September 2013

I had one friend who said she felt like they were the last to know (which they weren't at all). They're really good friends of ours and actually how DH and I met. I think people feel honored when you tell them and maybe read into it too much. The problem with telling them was they had a baby about 2 weeks after we found out we were pregnant. SO we gave it a couple weeks before telling.

lalaith50 · September 2013

uh oh. I'm so nervous about this happening to us! we keep putting off telling on FB bc we keep thinking of new people that we should tell!

novelblessings · September 2013

I would ignore it. No one has been too upset that they were not told first or told a while ago. We are officially going public with friends and fb this weekend and if anyone has a beef with us waiting or them finding out on fb, then oh well. We would like to tell as many people as we can in person, but it just isn't possible.

iheartbooks · September 2013

I had a friend who asked if I was pregnant at 5 wks bc I wasn't drinking. I wasn't ready to tell, especially since I was spotting at the time and really scared about that. I just said, No. When I finally told everyone I was pregnant, instead of congratulating me she said "It really bothers me that you lied to me." I told her we didn't tell anyone at that point, not even our parents, but she's still mad. I think it's rude to ask someone if they're pregnant- obviously if they are and they want you to know they'll tell you. Otherwise it's none of your business, and you don't really have the right to ask and expect me to "confess." Then there are also others who are just mad they found out by Facebook. I don't have time or energy to deal with such childish behavior from grown adults. They can get over it and be happy and congratulate me, or stay away from me and pout in a corner until they're ready to play nice.

inlovewithrugby · September 2013

I agree with other posters. Don't worry about it, it's a silly thing to get upset about and they should get over it soon. DH and I haven't told anyone yet...

SurpriseAt39 · September 2013

I guess if it was your BFFL then I could understand them being upset. But just a friend...get over it!
I only told my parents with DD. let them tell/not tell anyone they wanted.

With DS, I told parents, siblings and my favourite Aunt at a breakfast out on the way to a mini vacation.

This time, no one is gonna know for another 2+ months. Not sure exactly who we will tell at that time.

I don't have a really close female friend, so I don't think anyone will be getting pissed at me.

avigailandcharlie · September 2013

I seriously don't even know how to respond to this. Tell them you're so sorry and inconsiderate that you didn't think of their feelings while dealing with the most personal experience of your life. People suck.

ceciljbrown · September 2013

I just announced on facebook and I'd thought my sister had told my mom's side of the family since she actually still lives near most of them. Apparently she hadn't. So I'm sure I'll get some Hrrmmmphs, but seriously, out of all of my second cousins, I think I knew about only 2 of them before I got a "Hey, by the way, we have a new baby!" like 3-4 months after he/she was born. Or I'll get a holiday card with a picture of the newly expanded family on it and go "Huh, well, ok then". So I really don't feel all that bad.

erind0213 · September 2013

It's about you and what you are comfortable with.

I plan to share with all my close college girl friends after the NT scan. I want to make sure they know, and DH will do the same with anyone else who hasn't been informed at this point.

The reality is, you will always forget somebody, and have somebody feeling left out, but they have share in the joy of the moment and be excited for you, not worried about the method in which they found out.

BabiesFTW · September 2013

They should get over themselves.

jwls84 · September 2013

I didn't tell my family or anyone until I was 12 w with DS. My mom was a little sad she didn't know sooner, but I had my reasons and she understood them. As for friends... They need to get over it. You don't have an obligation to tell anyone if you are ready to share.