I know the question was brought up last week or two about what you will do to keep LO from being a bully. But what about the flip side? How will you prepare LO to have enough self confidence and self worth to be able to be strong in the event he/she is bullied?
This is weighing heavily on me and has kept me up at night. A 12 year old close by killed herself. 12 years old. She had been bullied so badly she was pulled out of school last year and homeschooled. Then the bullying moved online causing her parents to intervene but I guess it was just too much.
So my question.. How do we make sure our LOs know how deeply loved they are and how special they are, no matter what someone else says?
TTC #2:
March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...
Re: Let's talk bullying
H and I both grew up in pretty frigid households so we promised that we'd tell our children how wonderful and special and loved they were EVERY SINGLE DAY even when we were too busy or mad at them. But I don't know if that's enough.
I also want to get her involved in a lot of activities outside of school so she has different peer groups and hopefully something she is really good at that makes her feel goo about herself.
I also want to let her know that she can talk to me. I'll try and ask her about her day and really listen to what she is saying, hopefully see some signs if he is unhappy. I also want her to be able to invite her friends over so that I can make sure she has a group of peers that she is close with and that are supportive.
This is something that really scares me as well.
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Honestly I'm not sure how I will go about handling this, but I hope my sweet boy will never have to endure what I did.
my read shelf:
DH and i called his school and demanded a meeting with the principal, assistant principal, counselor and teachers. They knew what was going on and hadn't done anything. I told them that they needed to be sure my child was safe when they entered the building and that I expected the "zero tolerance" policy to be enforced. I told them if I heard of ONE more incident, I'd expect the kids to be expelled immediately, and I wouldn't hesitate to get the police, school board, or anyone else involved. My son never had another problem, and by 9th grade he was a totally different person. He went from a small, shy kid making C's to an honor student taking AP classes and varsity athlete.
IME it makes a huge difference when your kids know you will advocate for them. My kids know if there is a problem they can't handle I will deal with it.
I encourage everyone to familiarize yourself with your school's policies as well as state laws regarding bullying and harassment. And don't be afraid to be THAT parent.
I'll be doing all of the things you other ladies suggested, as well as teaching my child(ren) to hold their own. I always knew how to stand up for myself growing up with two big brothers and when someone said or did something I didn't like, I wasn't afraid to say so. Bullies are hard on the kids they think are weak because they're easy targets.
Also to @TradeMama's point, my whole life my two brothers picked on me like siblings do, but they also told me that they'd always be there to protect me, as well as my parents. I knew I had backup...and it allowed me to advocate for myself because I knew I had an escalation plan if I ever needed it.
Everyone else, I really like all the ideas and experiences. My mom and I were discussing this and trying to figure out why bullying is so prevalent right now. I think a big part is uninvolved parents. @trademama I think you are exactly right. Don't be afraid to be that person!
TTC #2:
March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...
Also being a redhead did not help my situation and now DS's hair is becoming strawberry blondish I hope he will not have to face being picked on for it. I sure hope your LO will not have to face bullying because she's a ginger!
my read shelf:
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I also believe in lots of positive reinforcement and acknowledging how difficult school can be and how it is only finite (this too shall pass) and there is a whole big world out there. That is what got me through it all...knowing I was going to leave it behind soon.