So our wonderful neighbours have just adopted a baby girl three weeks younger than C. They are a gay couple so I invited the dadon mat leave (pat leave) to our local moms group. Well I mentioned this in my moms group and the topic of how to talk to your children about different family dynamics came up. One mom said her biggest nightmare is that her child will be a bully towards children with two same sex parents because her IL's are quite vocal about their disapproving of same sex couples raising kids. I obviously don't want DD to bully anyone
These are good friends of ours so I imagine C will be friends with their little girl. I would hope she would stick up for her friend if kids were being mean. I was wondering at what age you talk to kids about these things. I also have a gay sister so this will come up. Do you wait for the child to ask? How would you explain why some kids have two moms/dads, one mom/dad etc.
Just looking for opinions here, I'd like to see what other people think.
Also now I'm terrified of raising a bully.
SIGNATURE FAIL!!!!!!!
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Re: Controversial topics
SIL never had a "coming out" announcement to the family or anything. After she and her husband split and she started hanging out with women who were openly gay, and then spending the night with them and going on trips, we all just figured it out. So the other grandkids on DH's side have never known different, since they're young, and to my knowledge they've never asked why their aunt is with another woman.
If and when my LO asks why her aunt or anyone else is with someone of the same sex, we will just tell her it's because that's who they love. Just like mommy and daddy are together because we love each other. IMO, there doesn't need to be a big deal made about it, because love is love. Maybe that's very simple minded of me, but that's what I believe.
My religious beliefs shape my thoughts and feelings about the world. This includes teaching my children to be kind and loving dispite your differences.
I too am afraid of having a child that is a bully. If they are I'm going jack them up, big time. I personally will probably wait for my child to ask me about gay couples/parents and discuss it at that point.
**DD1 - 7/9/98**
**DS - 11/9/00**
**DD2 - 4/30/13**
Hopefully she will be compassionate enough not to bully and I will be wise enough to handle the situation well if someone tells me she has teased another kid.
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Children aren't born discriminating against others. They learn that from their environment. If you raise her to accept others for their differences, and she sees you treat your neighbours like any other couple/family, she will grow up to do the same.
It can be hard to keep your ILs in line, but it can be done. My stepfather is racist. He makes racist comments and tells off color jokes, and thinks it's normal. When DS1 was born, I told him that I would not allow DS to be exposed to racism and that he would not be allowed to be part of DS's life if he could not respect that. DS1 is 2.5 now and my stepdad has managed to mind his manners around him.
I will do my best to raise te kid of person who will stand up for what is right and to turn her back on mean people however my parents tried to raise me as a goo person yet I was a mean girl in school because I wanted to fit in with a group of girls that were mean.
As for teaching her specifically about different families, I like pp's opinions about saying you love who you love and you make a family around that. And since gay marriage is legal here she will likely attend my sister's wedding one day so I can explain everything then if she has questions.
When my older sister explained why my other sister doesn't live "with a daddy" to my nephew he commented that if you marry who you love the most he wanted to marry his younger brother.....adorable!!!!
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According to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin. So, yes.
That being said I want my children to take away that all people are sinners and someone else's sins are not less or greater than another person's. There is a saying "don't judge someone because they sin differently than you" and I really believe in that.
I have friends that are gay and we've had this discussion and they understand that I care about them and that I don't view myself as being better than them.
I want to raise children that are kind and respectful to people even if they have a difference of opinion/lifestyle.
Edited for spelling
I believe that children should always wear the snow suits that make them look like stars because they can't lower their arms....just trying to keep the tone light lol.
Thank for your honesty!!!!
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I agree that bigotry is taught and she certainly isn't going to learn it from DH and I, nor anyone else if we can help it.
O14 January Signature Challenge: Snow Fails
I won't lie. I am a Christian but I believe that one is born gay And believing that means that God created a gay person that way specifically, just like I'm not. what I know is that I love my sister, i love her wife, and they are two of the best people I know. They are as godly (and probably more so) than many who call them Christians.
TTC #2:
March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...
I am not a religious person, but I don't believe people "choose" to be gay. So if that's the case, God made them that way. And He must have a reason for doing so. Not trying to stir the pot, just sharing my beliefs.
However, if someone says they are Christian and that they follow the Bible there isn't really any way around it. The Bible is very clear with how homosexuality is viewed in the Christian religion. There are numerous Bible verses that discuss it. Again, if you don't believe in Christianity, that won't matter to you.
I'm not trying to come across as preachy but I just wanted to clarify that I personally don't believe that being gay is a choice. In so many cases it would be easier to be straight so it wouldn't make sense to choose that path.
Anyways I think if God made gay people gay, it's just like he made everyone with some temptation.
That being said of a religion said I was a bad person for loving someone I probably wouldn't believe in that religion but that would be my perogative.
I think boo's take on how to live in harmony with people who's views you don't agree with is a great one.
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ETA: @Shantxtell
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I really don't want to hurt anyone. However, my faith is very important to me and I believe I have to follow through with it even when it's not the easy or popular thing to do.
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Here's my viewpoint, and maybe it's because I'm a science teacher, but I don't find it healthy or accurate to view sexuality as temptation or sin. Heterosexual or homosexual. Sexuality is biological. It's an instinct. Just like eating (even cheetos). We have that drive in order to further the species. As all of us here have done.
For whatever reason, some people's biological instinct is different. Maybe it's evolutionary (and no I don't want to debate that, lol). I don't know exactly why it's different, but it is. And it's not my place to judge it. Scientists have seen homosexual behaviors in certain other animal species as well. So I def feel there is a biological reason for it.
I still have my view and I don't expect everyone to understand it or respect it.
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BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
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Truly, I have so much respect for you all right now.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
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I'd also love to hear what other Christian commenters have to say about Romans 1:18-32 (or just 24-32). Romans is from the New Testament. It was written by the apostle Paul who was the apostle to the Gentiles (or non-Jews). Paul is a key player in the New Testament as he wrote 14 of its books. I'm going to xp this question to the other post as well.
TTC #2:
March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...