So CPS showed up today. BM called and today is SS's birthday.

Pamelacake · August 2013

I have been waiting for this.

accusations were ridiculous.

2 SS's and DH threatened to shoot BM with a shotgun while BM was here for her visit. (we don't even have a shotgun, or any guns) (good thing I recorded the visit)

DH shot a cat and made 5yo SD (BM's favored child) pick up the dead cat. (We live in the country, we feed the stray cats)

DH beat 16yo SS in the back with a 2x4 (just funny to me because it is ridiculous)

6yo SD always has bruises on her (no bruises, the agent took pictures)

Pictures were taken of all of the kids. I had 4 extra kids here when they showed up bc we were just going to have a small party for 14yo SS today since school starts tomorrow, and then a bigger one in a week where he can invite his school friends.The kitchen was a wreck bc I made a huge breakfast for SS + all of the other kids. I was in the process of doing breakfast dishes, making lunch for 4 very picky girls and preparing the cake to smash in SS's face. I was really embarrassed about the way the kitchen looked.. I can't stand the kitchen being messy. The house isn't dirty but not everything was put up where it belongs. They weren't looking for that but it just bugs me. They just wanted to make sure there was plenty of food and all of that.

DH was at work so I called him after speaking with the agent and he waited outside until DH got here. The agent didn't even have 10yo DS as living here but after DH got here and interviewed all SK's, he wanted to talk to DS and then take pictures of all. I gave the agent permission to talk to DS and take his picture as well.

DH went back to work but before he left I made him promise me that he would NOT call or text BM. He wanted to and joked about it (not in front of the kids, all of the girls were outside playing on their jungle gym) but he said he wouldn't.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

I am sick to my stomach after reading this. What is wrong with that woman?! How are the kids handling this?

Pamelacake · August 2013

The kids seem fine, SD's don't fully understand why the man was here but I'm sure they understand some with the questions that were asked. SS's and DS are just laughing it off bc they know how she is.

DH's cousin's wife was here to drop off some clothes for her son and she said to me " why would she do this knowing that they start school tomorrow, like they need this right before a big day like that"? My response, "she doesn't care, it's not about them, it's about her".

SD's seem fine though... they are all dressed up for open house at school tonight. hair is already done and we will be doing nails after their movie they are watching is over.

ETA: SD's kept asking me why the man was here when he was interviewing the boys and I just kept telling them that I didn't really know. They haven't asked anything since then. 6yo SD did say that it was weird after being interviewed. But that's all they have said about it.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

Pamelacake said:
DH's cousin's wife was here to drop off some clothes for her son and she said to me " why would she do this knowing that they start school tomorrow, like they need this right before a big day like that"? My response, "she doesn't care, it's not about them, it's about her".

When I read this the first thing I thought was, "She's doing it because they start school tomorrow". She seems to get a lot of pleasure out of upsetting the girls and disrupting their life. I pray that one day she either gets tired of her games or that the girls figure out what a horrible mother she is and the games no longer affect them.

Wahoo · August 2013

I think this is reason enough to end the home visits in your home. You don't need your children getting wrapped up in this mess. They meet at a park or McDonalds. It's too cold or rainy for BM? Too bad, so sad. Also a good reason to insist on a 3rd party supervisor.

Pamelacake · August 2013

I would love for someone else to do it. Nothing would make me happier at this point but there seems to be nothing they can do but after today if DH requests it I think they will listen.

ambrvan · August 2013

Oh my goodness! That is absolutely INSANE! Well, maybe with all the activity going on, your family actually looked better. Active and involved as a unit, you know? I can't believe they showed up without calling beforehand. They NEVER do that here. Half the reason the system obviously does not work...

twister22 · August 2013

That woman is a wretched b!tch. She's pathetic. Can we call her something other than BM? BM just isn't fitting for that disgusting woman. Ugh. I'm so sorry you're going through this crap, T&Ps your way.

+just+j+ · August 2013

Wahoo said:

I think this is reason enough to end the home visits in your home. You don't need your children getting wrapped up in this mess. They meet at a park or McDonalds. It's too cold or rainy for BM? Too bad, so sad. Also a good reason to insist on a 3rd party supervisor.

This. Get a court ordered mediator/supervisor.

The good thing you should know is with people like this - they get bored of the games themselves if you do not show that it rattles you. Eventually she will drop out of their lives.

Pamelacake · August 2013

jobalchak said:

Pamelacake said:
DH's cousin's wife was here to drop off some clothes for her son and she said to me " why would she do this knowing that they start school tomorrow, like they need this right before a big day like that"? My response, "she doesn't care, it's not about them, it's about her".

When I read this the first thing I thought was, "She's doing it because they start school tomorrow". She seems to get a lot of pleasure out of upsetting the girls and disrupting their life. I pray that one day she either gets tired of her games or that the girls figure out what a horrible mother she is and the games no longer affect them.

She doesn't even know they started school today and I told her 3 times when she was here. BM thinks that if the girls get taken from DH that they will go to her. She doesn't get that they will go to a foster home bc she still has to prove herself to the court. She has to take drug screens and she was more mad about that than having supervised visits in the first place.

She does like to make things difficult for SD's but I honestly don't think she is seeing it like that. She just does what she thinks will get her what she wants without even having SD's in mind.

Pamelacake · August 2013

ambrvan said:

Oh my goodness! That is absolutely INSANE! Well, maybe with all the activity going on, your family actually looked better. Active and involved as a unit, you know? I can't believe they showed up without calling beforehand. They NEVER do that here. Half the reason the system obviously does not work...

CPS has been here 3 times in the last year. This is the first time that I know of that BM has called them. They never called us to let us know they were coming. I don't have experience dealing with CPS but DH does. The man asked me to call him to see what time he would be home and wanted to start interviewing the kids. The man told me it didn't involve me and he just wanted to talk to them. He even told me he wasn't sure why he was called. BS

I called DH and let him know what was going on and he left work immediately and told me to put the man on the phone. DH told the man he could wait at the end of the driveway until he got here.

The man told DH why he was here and started interviewing the kids. Well, he snuck 16yo SS out and interviewed him first and when I took the phone out to the man he had 5yo SD out there starting to talk to her. I told her to go inside and gave the man the phone.

so after all of the kids were interviewed DH and the man talked for a long while and he said he gets all kinds of crazy reports. DH also told him that I had that whole visit video recorded.

DH asked the man why he never heard anything about SD's being drugged while with BM months ago. He said he would be looking into that. He asked DH why BM would be so upset to make such crazy accusations. DH told him she was mad bc she didn't show up for court, so he got everything he asked for. The man left like DH and he were old buddies.

BM called at 1:30 this morning and left a vm, of course we were in bed. we get up early. I noticed it when checking the time this morning because all of the kids were ready and excited for the bus to come (so proud of them) BM said that she knows that she saw DH shoot a cat with a shotgun while she was here for her visit and said that she will be bringing her own camera to the next visit to record DH. Crazy B!tch. She is going to be very disappointed. The visits are for her children, not for her to stalk DH.

I have already emailed the attorney and called. If they don't call me back today I'm showing up at his office in the morning. This has got to stop. If I do have to do the visit on Saturday, I will be sitting right beside them like I should have been last time. Hopefully something can be done to where I won't have to though. I pray hard for this.

Pamelacake · August 2013

twister22 said:

That woman is a wretched b!tch. She's pathetic. Can we call her something other than BM? BM just isn't fitting for that disgusting woman. Ugh. I'm so sorry you're going through this crap, T&Ps your way.

I have thought of that while posting on here before but didn't want to get flamed. lol. I did put in one post that I cannot bring myself to call her a woman.

and TY. I'm sure this will blow over quickly but something else will come up. It usually does. We live in the country and there has been a detective driving by my house all morning. So I'm sure something else is coming our way soon because they don't do that out here. Our house is kind of far off of the road so he can't see in and I'm sitting in the family room so he has started going by very slowly. I'm not worried about it. I am interested to see what the reasoning is behind it.

Pamelacake · August 2013

wendilea said:

What a disgusting human being. If you can even call her that. I would immediately end visits at your home and with you supervising.

I would love for that to happen but for now, that's what is in black and white. waiting to hear from the attorney and if I don't get a response today I will be at his office door when he shows up for work tomorrow.

xmaryrickx · August 2013

Why do YOU have to supervise? Why can't your husband?

I hope this all goes away quickly. Idk where you live but I can't believe you can't have these visits somewhere other than your home (park, indoor play place, library, mall, pizza place) and that there are absolutely zero resources available to assist in supervision. Did you ask the social worker? If not maybe call and ask him. Clearly he is aware of the situation.

Pamelacake · August 2013

The social worker wouldn't speak to me about anything until he came inside to check the kitchen. He was very kind to me before that but he just wanted me to allow him to speak to the kids without DH's knowledge.

DH didn't ask the social worker about this that I know of. I will have to ask him bc like I said, they did talk for a while. I do have his card so I will give him a call. Thank you for that advice.

at first I didn't think it would be a good idea for DH to supervise bc he might be rude to BM. Now it's definitely not a good idea for DH to supervise. The one time BM was here for a visit she watched DH like a hawk, tried talking to him every time he came outside or walked through the yard, not even close to her.. we have a huge yard, even wanted to follow him into the back yard in the middle of a board game with SD's knowing that SD's weren't allowed to go into the backyard b/c DH had tools and equipment out that they could have gotten hurt on and that happened a few different times.

I don't want to supervise. I want SD's to have the best experience possible. The closest agency I have found is 3 hours away from us and they charge $200.00 an hour + travel, lodging, food... If it isn't court ordered, BM won't have to pay for it. we will and we cannot afford it.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Let her record. If you guys do nothing wrong then it will prove nothing and you cannot record her and tell her she cannot record you. If she uses it to stalk DH then you have proof. I do worry though that every time you intervene unless it is to end the visit that it is going to look like parental alienation on your side. I know why you do what you do but some of what you do could make you look like you are interfering instead of supervising.

As for interviewing the kids. Let me say that SUCKS. But I your DH is being accused of child abuse then it would only make sense to interview the kids without him there. You would not want BM there when interviewing the kids for drugging them.

Ginlyn0 · August 2013

I might have missed this but does it specifically say in your CO the visits have to be at your home? For the first few months after our CO, BD had supervised visitations which I supervised at McDonald's. We had the option of picking a place like McDonald's or each split the cost of a mediation center. I opted for McDonald's for purely financial reasons. McDonald's, he would take her outside and I would sit inside next to the glass so I could see them. If it rained, he would sit across the restaurant from me. I could still monitor their interactions. I would typically have someone else come along with me as a witness (plus then there are also other witnesses). You need to switch visits to somewhere public.

Pamelacake · August 2013

Littlejen22 said:

Let her record. If you guys do nothing wrong then it will prove nothing and you cannot record her and tell her she cannot record you. If she uses it to stalk DH then you have proof. I do worry though that every time you intervene unless it is to end the visit that it is going to look like parental alienation on your side. I know why you do what you do but some of what you do could make you look like you are interfering instead of supervising. As for interviewing the kids. Let me say that SUCKS. But I your DH is being accused of child abuse then it would only make sense to interview the kids without him there. You would not want BM there when interviewing the kids for drugging them.

for the recording, yes, that was my first thought that we can't record the visit and ask her not to record things. I just thought it would be different if she were recording SD's.. why record DH. lol.

I also wondered about the parental alienation thing and that's why I recorded as well, so nothing could be said that didn't actually happen. I didn't sit right beside them like I was supposed to, I was at least 10 ft away at all times. I didn't intervene with the visit and when SD's would talk to me or come up to me I would ask them to go back and visit with their mom. I only talked to them when they asked for something to drink, well, I talked to 6yo SD when she was hiding behind the tree bc she felt left out. I told SD's beforehand to just pretend that I wasn't even there.

DH was accused of beating 16yo SS in the back with a 2x4. He was interviewed before DH got here. I didn't think it was a big deal but DH wanted to know why he was here beforehand. DH was in the backyard working most of the time that BM was here and all of the accusations BM made are what she supposedly saw when she was here. CPS just said there were bruises on 6yo SD. This may be, I'm only assuming here, but this may be what was being talked about when BM didn't mean to call and leave a vm (one of many) and FI was saying " well, you could just blame it on Pam"

I got so excited when I got an email from the atty but it had nothing to do with what I have called and emailed about. It was about the SS investigations going on against BM. UGH... IDC about that. I need to know what to do!!

ETA: there was one bruise on SD's leg. The CPS man said all of the kids looked happy and healthy.

Pamelacake · August 2013

gin9874 said:

I might have missed this but does it specifically say in your CO the visits have to be at your home? For the first few months after our CO, BD had supervised visitations which I supervised at McDonald's. We had the option of picking a place like McDonald's or each split the cost of a mediation center. I opted for McDonald's for purely financial reasons. McDonald's, he would take her outside and I would sit inside next to the glass so I could see them. If it rained, he would sit across the restaurant from me. I could still monitor their interactions. I would typically have someone else come along with me as a witness (plus then there are also other witnesses). You need to switch visits to somewhere public.

Yes unfortunately it does specify that it has to be at our home or at the local park which wouldn't be any better because it's a really small town (the name of the town is even specified) and everyone takes their kids to the park in a bigger city close to us, So the only witnesses would be teenagers playing basketball, if that. I'm not really sure why it specifies this because the rest of the C/O is really vague. I'm trying to find out what can be done differently from the attorney.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Honestly you are recording her so if she thinks your DH is doing something wrong then she is going to record it. I am not saying he is but that she seems to really believe it. I would not worry about it until it is an issue but unfortunately this one is hard because while I know your reasons it will be hard to go to court saying look judge I have video of her videoing me.

I know nothing about supervised visits. Does it state that you are supposed to listen or just watch? Sitting down right next to them sounds so intrusive to a visit and I could see how that would put anyone on the defensive. Of course if it states that then do it.

You said that CPS has been out tree other times, were these all for your SDs or the other kids? That is crazy to have to deal with that.

xmaryrickx · August 2013

If the courts give you zero options for supervision, short of doing it yourselves, they are setting themselves up for potentially huge liabilities. What if the reason visits are supervised is bc Of past spousal abuse and the abuser then takes it to the next level (not to mention how incredibly cruel to force someone to sit with their abuser)? If there is a restraining order in place, then what? They can't make someone break the law. All of this to say there are a thousand scenarios where what they are forcing you to do just isn't possible. And if there really is NO alternative I would be contacting all of my state and local representatives to let them know that their court system is creating disasters that are just waiting to happen.

Pamelacake · August 2013

Littlejen22 said:

Honestly you are recording her so if she thinks your DH is doing something wrong then she is going to record it. I am not saying he is but that she seems to really believe it. I would not worry about it until it is an issue but unfortunately this one is hard because while I know your reasons it will be hard to go to court saying look judge I have video of her videoing me. I know nothing about supervised visits. Does it state that you are supposed to listen or just watch? Sitting down right next to them sounds so intrusive to a visit and I could see how that would put anyone on the defensive. Of course if it states that then do it. You said that CPS has been out tree other times, were these all for your SDs or the other kids? That is crazy to have to deal with that.

The only rules that I know are that BM isn't allowed to bring anyone with her, the visits are for her and SD's only, BM is supposed to stay within listening distance, which I didn't follow.. I sat far enough away that I couldn't hear what was said between them and I shouldn't have done that, but I felt it would have been wrong to sit right there beside them. Yes, BM truly believes she saw DH shoot a cat with a shotgun and make SD go pick up the dead cat. The other things were made up BS. beating 16yo SS with a 2x4..he wasn't even here. I just documented her msg about recording DH last night and BM stated "I will be bringing my camera to record everything you do so watch your back", If BM wants to record, that's fine. It is stated that BM isn't to take any pictures, Not in the C/O but in the guidelines for supervised visits. We let a lot of things slide throughout the visit. It shouldn't have even happened, She was effed up. It was very obvious but SD's were extremely excited to see BM so we let it go. It wasn't obvious to them bc they are used to it.

The 1st time CPS was called from someone in my family out of spite. A year ago, I let my son go stay with my mother for a couple of weeks during the summer, She didn't want to give him back, I let her claim DS on her taxes the year before as she was doing a lot of work on her house and paying for both of her parents' funerals so I knew she could use the money and I made plenty. I think she liked that extra money.. (my mom is very money hungry, she works hard and makes good money herself but it's never enough for her) Well.. she didn't want to let DS come back home. She tried to enroll him in school and everything. I had my SIL go and pick him up from her house to come over for a birthday party. He took his DS, Wii and PS3 over to play with my youngest brother who has the xbox 360. I told my son while he was here that he probably wouldn't get these things back and he said he didn't care and told me how mean they were to him. The next morning a sheriff was knocking on my door.. I thought they were going to try to get me for kidnapping! I knew they had no legal right to keep him but I didn't want to do that to my mom. The sheriff checked the fridge and pantry, talked to my son and left. CPS came later that day saying that the roof was falling in and there were leaks everywhere, the walls were weak and caving, no running water, all kinds of BS (my mom had never been here, only knew that we lived in an old farm house. I guess she assumed it hadn't been kept up) The CPS agent looked extremely confused as she was looking around and then told me the accusations. She took pictures of the ceilings and walls, checked for food and that case was closed.

2nd time: 6yo SD told her school counselor in February that she was punched in the stomach by her grandfather. She used to be a compulsive liar, and still tried sometimes.. but used to tell big stories, anyways, they came to the school to interview SD and took pictures of 2 bruises on her stomach. SD said one grandfather's name but described the other grandfather's house wife car and all of that, She hadn't seen either grandfather since the December before that. The principal even said he could tell she was telling a story because every time she told it, it was different but he had to call them and we totally understood that. SD did have 2 bruises on her stomach. She also had road rash on her face and covering her nose bc earlier that week she did a face plant in the driveway on her way to the bus. SD started her therapy right after this, she was already waiting but it takes 3 months from intake to getting to see the therapist.

3rd time they were called here was this time.

Pamelacake · August 2013

xmaryrickx said:

If the courts give you zero options for supervision, short of doing it yourselves, they are setting themselves up for potentially huge liabilities. What if the reason visits are supervised is bc Of past spousal abuse and the abuser then takes it to the next level (not to mention how incredibly cruel to force someone to sit with their abuser)? If there is a restraining order in place, then what? They can't make someone break the law. All of this to say there are a thousand scenarios where what they are forcing you to do just isn't possible. And if there really is NO alternative I would be contacting all of my state and local representatives to let them know that their court system is creating disasters that are just waiting to happen.

You have a very good idea there and I will have to bring this up to DH in the morning. We have wanted to get a restraining order for months and we have grounds to. BM has left plenty of threatening VM's .. one that really sticks out is that she is going to break in and slit our throats while we are sleeping. I truly believe she is crazy enough to do it. BM made this threat when she would always call to fight and make threats but never even ask any questions about or to speak to SD's. It lasted for months, and still happens every once in a while. I told DH it wouldn't be a good idea to get a restraining order bc at the time BM was entitled to EOWE with SD's

BM is not over DH booting her and is always accusing DH of taking her kid not kidS but kid from her. BM has admitted that she was the one at fault bc the last 3 years they were together she never helped to take care of the kids bc she was always too effed up and that she wishes she could still be with him and it wouldn't be like that.

I will definitely bring that up to DH and if the attorney doesn't want to respond to any concerns then I will be getting the rest of the retainer back and finding a new one.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

xmaryrickx said:

If the courts give you zero options for supervision, short of doing it yourselves, they are setting themselves up for potentially huge liabilities. What if the reason visits are supervised is bc Of past spousal abuse and the abuser then takes it to the next level (not to mention how incredibly cruel to force someone to sit with their abuser)? If there is a restraining order in place, then what? They can't make someone break the law. All of this to say there are a thousand scenarios where what they are forcing you to do just isn't possible. And if there really is NO alternative I would be contacting all of my state and local representatives to let them know that their court system is creating disasters that are just waiting to happen.

@Pamelacake I've been saying since you first posted about having to do the supervised visits that the Court is setting you all up for failure. You all (you, DH, SDs and even BM) are in a no-win situation here. SDs can feel the tension and resentment, you and DH are going to get accused of parental alienation and all kinds of other things, and if BM ever tries to repair her life and relationship with those girls she won't be able to with you and DH supervising. I'm not saying that you and/or DH wouldn't allow her to repair things, but there is too much history/hurt/pain for that to even be possible.

I agree with @xmaryrickx about contacting your representatives and telling them what their Court system is doing to your family. There has to be a better way to handle the supervised visits that doesn't include you and/or DH being present.

Pamelacake · August 2013

Yes you have and I also agree. The atty wasn't in today. I think it's time to look for a new one. and I will be getting the numbers ready for DH so he can call in the a.m.

sweetie0228 · August 2013

You know she's crazycakes. You go so far as to video and record all dealings with her WHY would you let ANY details slide on the supervisions or CO'd provisions.

I don't understand at all why she prefers one over the other but the ongoing saga is this woman is continueing to emotionally abuse your SDs and you and your H have let things slide and not follows the only court ordered protection you have available to you? What good is any type of supervision if you're not going to enforce the court ordered protections by following the the rules to the letter. YOU set a precedence of not following the rules. When you have the court order to supervise and it says you must be within listening distance why would you go against that protection b/c you felt it was wrong. This woman has lost her expectation of privacy and an individual relationship with her children.

Also I don't even want to start on your on TAX FRAUD by allowing someone else to claim your child. You have a very cavalier attitude towards laws.

"The only rules that I know are that BM isn't allowed to bring anyone with her, the visits are for her and SD's only, BM is supposed to stay within listening distance, which I didn't follow.. I sat far enough away that I couldn't hear what was said between them and I shouldn't have done that, but I felt it would have been wrong to sit right there beside them. "

" It is stated that BM isn't to take any pictures, Not in the C/O but in the guidelines for supervised visits. We let a lot of things slide throughout the visit. It shouldn't have even happened, She was effed up. It was very obvious but SD's were extremely excited to see BM so we let it go. It wasn't obvious to them bc they are used to it. "

She's not allowed to take pictures she can't video you back

"I also wondered about the parental alienation thing and that's why I recorded as well, so nothing could be said that didn't actually happen. I didn't sit right beside them like I was supposed to, I was at least 10 ft away at all times. I didn't intervene with the visit and when SD's would talk to me or come up to me I would ask them to go back and visit with their mom. I only talked to them when they asked for something to drink, well, I talked to 6yo SD when she was hiding behind the tree bc she felt left out. I told SD's beforehand to just pretend that I wasn't even there. "

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Does it specifically state that the person that is being supervised cannot take photos or just that photos are not to be taken? Either way video is just animated photos so if she is in violation then tell her so and do not allow it. Stop picking and choosing what to follow and follow all of it. If it states generally that no photos are to be taken than you are also in violation even if state law allows you to record someone without their permission. And why you record it would not matter.

And if you are the parent and raising and providing for your child that is fraud to allow your Mom to claim your kid. The rest of the stories as so Jerey Springer that I cannot read it all.

Pamelacake · August 2013

My CPA told me it was completely fine to let my mother claim my son on her taxes if I wanted to do that. I signed forms and he filed for her to do so through her own agent.

I know it is my fault that I didn't sit right beside them. I now regret not doing that and have since the day I watched the videos and heard what was being said. I thought it would have been wrong, as a BM myself, I couldn't imagine having to visit my children with their SM sitting right there. I know she put herself in this position and I should have abided. I didn't want a scene in front of SD's either. This whole thing is ridiculous and I do not wish to be a part of it at all.

As far as the recording, I don't care if she records, I just think it's stupid that she wished to record DH the whole time she is supposed to be visiting with her children bc she imagined him shooting cats with shotguns, which isn't even an issue bc DH has to work this Saturday anyways.

It is stated that the person being supervised isn't to take photos.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

If it is stated that way then don't let her, period. You should not pick and choose which rules she has to abide by and which ones you decide she does not. As for the IRS the person supporting the child gets to claim them.

redrae78 · August 2013

Littlejen22 said:

As for the IRS the person supporting the child gets to claim them.

***** I was also told by our CPA that you had to have the child in your HH for at least 6 months during the year in order to claim them in addition to being the primary support. Is this not correct?

sweetie0228 · August 2013

Qualifying Child Rules

Return to EITC Home Pag e

Your child must have a Social Security Number that is valid for employment and must pass all of the following tests to be your qualifying child for EITC:

Relationship

Your son, daughter, adopted child¹, stepchild, foster child² or a descendent of any of them such as your grandchild
Brother, sister, half brother, half sister, step brother, step sister or a descendant of any of them such as a niece or nephew

Age

At the end of the filing year, your child was younger than you (or your spouse if you file a joint return) and younger than 19
At the end of the filing year, your child was younger than you (or your spouse if you file a joint return), younger than 24 and a full-time student
At the end of the filing year, your child was any age and permanently and totally disabled³

Residency

Child must live with you (or your spouse if you file a joint return) in the United States⁴ for more than half of the year

Joint Return

The child cannot file a joint return for the year, unless the child and the child's spouse did not have a separate filing requirement and filed the joint return only to claim a refund.

IMPORTANT: Only one person can claim the same child. If a child qualifies for more than one person and one of the persons is a parent or parents, the non-parent can claim the child only if their AGI is higher than the parent(s). If the child qualifies another relative and the parent AGI rules do not apply, the taxpayers choose. If more than one person claims the same child, IRS applies the tiebreaker rules. Read more about Qualifying Child of More Than One Perso n here.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

redrae78 said:

Littlejen22 said:

As for the IRS the person supporting the child gets to claim them.

***** I was also told by our CPA that you had to have the child in your HH for at least 6 months during the year in order to claim them in addition to being the primary support. Is this not correct?

Well NCPs get to claim sometimes because of financial support. But I don't understand having someone claim your kid instead of just going about it properly and giving them money unless you think there is something to be gained and if there is then it tells you it is not legit. And just because an accountant does something does not mean it is always by the books.

redrae78 · August 2013

I was just curious. We have it in our court order that we claim every other year.

Last year we had an issue with BM trying to allow her parents to claim SS on our year. She was unemployed and borrowed money with the promise of allowing them to claim him on taxes.

We had to file a special form with the IRS stating it was our year and that SS did not live with them at any time and then wait for a review.

Sorry but it just seems funny to me that any one would allow someone else to claim their child on their taxes.

Pamelacake · August 2013

redrae78 said:

Littlejen22 said:

As for the IRS the person supporting the child gets to claim them.

***** I was also told by our CPA that you had to have the child in your HH for at least 6 months during the year in order to claim them in addition to being the primary support. Is this not correct?

Yes, that is the general rule. I went through the loopholes, legally and allowed my mother to claim him for the year. My point in bringing that up was saying I think that's why she wanted to keep DS.

SimpleJane · August 2013

redrae78 said:

Littlejen22 said:

As for the IRS the person supporting the child gets to claim them.

***** I was also told by our CPA that you had to have the child in your HH for at least 6 months during the year in order to claim them in addition to being the primary support. Is this not correct?

That is correct, unless otherwise specified by a CO. For instance, the NCP can claim the child EOY even if they do not have them 6+ months during the year if it is specified in the CO.

SimpleJane · August 2013

Pamelacake said:
As far as the recording, I don't care if she records, I just think it's stupid that she wished to record DH the whole time she is supposed to be visiting with her children bc she imagined him shooting cats with shotguns, which isn't even an issue bc DH has to work this Saturday anyways.
It is stated that the person being supervised isn't to take photos.

If it is stated that the person being supervised cannot take photos, I would also take that to mean she can't video tape anything either, and I would not allow her to.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Ditto Sweetie about your attitudes towards laws or loopholes as you like to see them. Very often in your postings you state which rules you follow and which you don't. And I would not call the IRS thing a loophole because the law is that the person has to support the child. So unless your Mom supports your child you broke the law and are only assuming it is fine because it would be hard for the IRS to disprove.

Pamelacake · August 2013

As far as the tax thing, I know nothing about taxes, When my mom first brought it up to me she said she used to do it all the time with me and my siblings.. let my aunt claim some of us. I tried to research it myself online and was in over my head. I contacted the same CPA I have been using for the last 12 years and he had me fill out some papers for it. I used the term "loophole" bc that's what he called it. If I did break any laws there, I honestly didn't mean to.

The situation with SD's and BM, the C/O is very vague and there is a very fine line between what is right and what could be considered parental alienation and I don't know where that line is with DH or I supervising the visits.

When the C/O was put in I looked up the rules for supervised visits in our state and that is what I was trying to go by but didn't go by all of them. Some of them would be impossible for us to go by as they are mostly for a third party supervisor. For example, I can't ask BM not to smoke when she's outside, We do have an ashtray on the porch for when DH's uncle comes over. I was fully prepared to ask her not to smoke inside as we have asked that she not smoke around SD's in the past and it was totally disregarded. 5yo SD still has to do breathing treatments sometimes, which she hates.

I'm not trying to come off as a bitch to BM. I printed out the things I found online, along with copies for BM, with only hopes that we could work together with it. These things were not even brought out as I didn't want to talk about them in front of SD's.

Nineoceans · August 2013

I'm just curious- do you still have a relationship with your mom?

It would be worth it to me to drive the three hours to the visiting center. BM will go to the effort 2-3 times then be done. Her coming to your house will NEVER lose interest to her though so you are looking at years and decades of this.

If I had CPS and investigators at my home I would hire my own attorney ASAP. The CPS worker is being nice to you and Dh because that's their job you have no idea what they are writing in their report. If this has progressed to home visits and taking pictures they are building a case. With other reports from the school and your family I would just be nervous that raises red flags to an investigator.

I wouldn't play any more games with BM. Your kids are too precious. If it means the electric bill is late a month to pay the attorney and for the gas to get to the visiting center then you do that.

You seem to be taking this a bit lightly and I can see your perspective that this is frivolous but I'm just telling you multiple reports from multiple sources is corroboration in some cases. I would take this very very seriously and protect yourself. When kids get taken it happens with little to no warning as it should so please don't be at ease because the CPS workers are being friendly

ambrvan · August 2013

Nineoceans said:
I'm just curious- do you still have a relationship with your mom?

It would be worth it to me to drive the three hours to the visiting center. BM will go to the effort 2-3 times then be done. Her coming to your house will NEVER lose interest to her though so you are looking at years and decades of this.

If I had CPS and investigators at my home I would hire my own attorney ASAP. The CPS worker is being nice to you and Dh because that's their job you have no idea what they are writing in their report. If this has progressed to home visits and taking pictures they are building a case. With other reports from the school and your family I would just be nervous that raises red flags to an investigator.

I wouldn't play any more games with BM. Your kids are too precious. If it means the electric bill is late a month to pay the attorney and for the gas to get to the visiting center then you do that.

You seem to be taking this a bit lightly and I can see your perspective that this is frivolous but I'm just telling you multiple reports from multiple sources is corroboration in some cases. I would take this very very seriously and protect yourself. When kids get taken it happens with little to no warning as it should so please don't be at ease because the CPS workers are being friendly

I want to bold what Nine said about you having no idea what they are writing in their report, but I don't know how on mobile.

The last time CPS came to our home this past Spring, we got a copy of the report that said the findings were that SD was in the most supportive environment for her, that she was well adjusted, and that it was advised that no change of placement or custody be made. Good for us, right? WRONG!

THE DAY OF OUR HEARING, our attorney showed us a copy of the FINAL final findings that the CPS worker handed him that morning. It said that after interviewing BM, CPS found no reason why she should not have custody of SD. And because BM was NEVER found to be interviewed in the past when CPS was involved, those favorable findings could not be used. Also, the report that blind sided us the day of our hearing said that SD was happy with her mother and seemed well-adjusted with her. They never saw SD in her care! They were involved during the season of the restraining order; and SD had not seen BM in months, and before that for over a year, she has only seen her under our supervision at our insistence!

Point is... they are not on the kids', your, or anyone else's side. They are bent on getting paper work done because they are overloaded and overworked with bull crap. And honestly... most of them don't really care anymore because using CPS has become a way to screw over the other parent in custody battles. They may start out all pumped up to save the children of the world, but it wears off if them quick.

Pamelacake · August 2013

I do still talk to my mom and we are on good terms, I should have written her off years ago due to numerous things but I put hat behind me when she seemed to want to involve my son like she does her other grands. I wanted him to have a grandma. As far as a relationship with her, we do talk but I don't consider it to be a good relationship. It's always about the things going on in her life, very chaotic things that she creates for herself mostly. I keep my distance and don't tell her personal things that are going on in my life. She likes to talk and add to her stories. If I wanted that, I would just write an article for the newspaper. lol.

I totally understand about CPS. I am trying to keep my cool about it. The grounds that they were called on are ridiculous but I know they aren't here to help, half the time they aren't even out to help the kids.

Want a personalized experience?

So CPS showed up today. BM called and today is SS's birthday.

Re: So CPS showed up today. BM called and today is SS's birthday.

Qualifying Child Rules

Relationship

Age

Residency

Joint Return

Choose Another Board

Search Boards