I'm truly disgusted and hurt right now. I just found free teen porn on my husbands phone. This isn't the first time and now that I'm pregnant with our 4th child this just burns me to the core! I don't want anything to do with him. He has never done anything to make me feel good about myself and I'm just feeling really lonely right about now. Has anyone ever gone through this or is it just me? Last pregnancy I found little sexting messages on FB to some whore at the mall he worked with. I just don't know what to do!!
Re: Husband porn on phone
Married my love 6/11/11 | MMC 10/11/11 | Eliza Frances born 9/18/12 | Rhett Garland born 2/24/14
Married my love 6/11/11 | MMC 10/11/11 | Eliza Frances born 9/18/12 | Rhett Garland born 2/24/14
Including the point that if you have discussed it calmly with your SO and are not ok with porn, then some type of limit or boundaries should be respected.
I mean I have freaked out finding the porn on his computer before, but lets face it. Guys watch porn, they have visual minds when it comes to sex. It's a fact. I think the bigger issue here is that it's teens. Plus it seems like there are other issues with your marriage if you think he's never done anything to make you feel good. The only way to get any resolution is to talk to him about it. Maybe you need some couple's counseling! Sorry, you are going through this.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not a fan of porn either. I have had an ex in the past that was addicted to porn and it completely ruined our relationship. He too would lie about it when confronted.
The sexting the employee in the past is even worse. I really don't think I would have been able to stay in the relationship at that point. How could you even trust him going to work? All of that stress is not good for anyone, especially someone pregnant.
You are worth way more than that!
Wife & Full Time Step Mama to an incredible boy!
First Date.. March 11, 2010 Engaged...August 09, 2011 Married...August 11, 2012 BFP...July 21, 2013
E.D.D... March 31, 2014
It sounds like there's more going on than just the porn though, if you're saying "He has never done anything to make me feel good about myself" that is another huge red flag.
If both of you are serious about having this relationship work out, then I think the best course of action at this point is couples counseling to work out your underlying issues and get back to a place of trust. In my opinion... there is no relationship without trust.
BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014
Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
This. Porn doesn't bother me at all, and I don't care if/what my husband watches. Although I'm pretty sure I would want him to "hide" it- I mean, if its not something you're into, what is he supposed to do? Tell you each time he watches so that he isn't hiding it from you? As long as it doesn't start affecting his ability to function as a normal human being, no harm done. Just my two cents.
I agree the other stuff is a big red flag. Not making you feel good about yourself and sexting with other people are huge issues that need to be addressed.
BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014
Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014
Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
I think the previous sexting thing is likely what causes the current deception and porn thing to be so difficult to deal with. When the trust is already broken, lying about other women (even porn stars he has no real access to) is still upsetting. Especially when you are dealing with the hormonal and body changes of pregnancy.
Who is your cell phone provider? If you have a family plan, treat him like a little kid and have him blocked from viewing that kind of content. Depending on what kind of phone he has, you can also check his web browsing history even if he has deleted it, and the carrier should be able to tell you how. These are policies in place to punish children, but he is acting like a child, so it works!
I don't mind porn personally, but if it was happening very often or if there was any dishonesty about it, I would be concerned. I'm so sorry this is happening to you right now. I think counseling would be beneficial to you both, and may allow him to understand how his behavior is really making you feel.
Never underestimate the therapeutic value of smashing things!
Please remember that you bringing a life into this world is absolutely beautiful and sexy, and being a mother to his children makes you hotter than any porn star. Don't let your self value get caught up in this, because I am sure that is not what it is about. Good luck hon.