So...maybe I'm amidst the wrong board, but I'm not sure where else The Bump would hide the other SMBC's! I decided YEARS ago to be a single mom (I actually hate the identifier "single" - I'm just a mom, not better or worse than any other mom) and am FINALLY pregnant (8w4d and LOVIN' every minute of it!). I've got a really awesome, amazing, wonderful support group of family and friends and caretakers, but I still know that the decisions I make and the way I'll parent will be affected by the fact that, at the end of the day, it's just me. Thought I'd put it out there and see if there any other SMBC who wanted to share their experiences so far. Muah!
Re: Single Mom By Choice
I'm 36 and in this place where I know I'll be fine no matter what happens. So I'm looking forward to being a single mom!
I'm sort of a SMBC, like PP said, because I knew BD and I were not going to work out, so I pretty much planned from the beginning to do this on my own. There are pros and cons to any type of family and being a single parent has many challenges, but also some unique benefits. Parenting is parenting. Raising a child is a crazy, scary, and wonderful adventure- whether you're single, married, dating, or whatever.
All parents struggle sometimes and feel overwhelmed, so even when it's hard I don't wish I was married. I try not to dwell on feeling lonely or disappointed about my situation, because my son and I are very happy and I do the best I can for him everyday.
Congrats on your little bean! And congrats on not having to deal with BD drama:-)
Good luck to everyone!!
At some point I remember thinking: okay! I'm just going to accept that I'm essentially paying for college now and when LO goes to college, we'll just be the masters of finding grants and scholarships! ...and I'll really, really badass it at my career so that I can keep moving us forward!
Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.
You don't need a separate form for being a single mother by choice--I am sorry if you don't like the terminology-but that is the reality of it. You are right, you wont be any different than the rest of the single mothers as you will experience the same exact issues. It sounds like you are starting in just like any other single parent--at the end of the day you do it alone. The reality of it is you chose to do it alone, unlike many here who didn't want that. I was a single parent for fourteen years and had family support and friends, but at the end of they day they aren't going to raise your kids. It is hard work and nobody in the real world will recognize the fact you did this by choice, it doesn't matter at all.....at the end of the day you are a single parent. Welcome aboard! I am glad to hear you have family and friends and congrats on your bundle of joy--being a parent is an amazing opportunity for everyone!
When are you due? I'm March 17...which means I'm officially under the 100 day mark. Now it's real! Ha!
Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.
I guess I fall into this category. This last week I asked my Bf to leave. I am 31 weeks pregnant and high risk and unable to work but yet was expected to financially support the household. (I have 4 children from previous marriage) He works but only makes enough for his personal bills. Before he moved in with me, he was living with his mother and she was paying for most daily things. (should have realized then). To make things worse, he was unwilling to get a second job or try for anything better. He wants to continue to live the life of a single man with his mom (or me) supporting him and not like a man with a family to support. Its heartbreaking because he just left, no dispute or anything just packed his stuff and left. He texted me 4 days later asking how "his boy" was doing. Which bothered me, because we had named our son and he had never referred to him as, and he has yet to buy one thing for getting ready for him. Luckily my family is helping me so we don't end up homeless. And I have some really good friends that will step in when I am in the hospital and after to help with the kids ect. Im scared but concentrating on the kids and taking it one day at a time. And the next few weeks we will find out how much he plans on being involved. I have very mixed feelings on if he should be in the delivery room. but I guess how the next few weeks goes will determine that. Its a shame too since when he left he told me that I was using him and to have a nice life. He just doesn't see it and since he is moving back in with his mom to baby him he probably wont grow up any time soon.
thanks for letting me vent