Im such a jerk

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

So I make cakes, for like weddings and big events. Anyway a while back a friend of mine asked if I can make a replica of a Jungle cake I did for a christening for her sons birthday. I said "of course, no problem" not really thinking about the fact that I would be 8 months pregnant and now moving so everything is packed in boxes. The birthday party is in 2 weeks and she just contacted me with the head count details. I felt like a super jerk telling her I forgot and have everything packed for the move. Now she has to find a new baker, but seriously I theres no way I have the time with everything going on to make this.

elllaf · August 2013

Wow! That cake is intense! You are very talented!

When do you move and how far away?
Was she understanding or was she upset?

tmccord21 · August 2013

I would be kinda pissed at ya. Not gonna lie. I hope she can find a baker she likes in the next 2 weeks. Those cupcakes are cute.

Wino0920 · August 2013

That's really shitty. I hope she can find a baker!

kimbo1216 · August 2013

You made a commitment. I frankly don't think you should have backed out just because you are 8 months pregnant and have a lot going on. You have time or what you want to have time for. This clearly isn't a priority. You should have told her sooner of you didn't want to do it.

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

She found someone to do it, got the text text a lil while ago. The party is the same day I close on the house were buying, it would have been totally impossible. Whew now can rest easy, and not dig out the mixer to make it all happen.

Ayreka · August 2013

Yeah I'm going to have to agree. Cant you just unpack what you need to make it and still do it?

yesthisiskim0401 · August 2013

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9VKKXwVxU

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

dh13 said:

Yeah, you're still a jerk whether she found someone to cover your ass or not. Keep making excuses, though!

Haha no need to pull out the claws over a solved cake problem, but yes I'm very happy she found another another baker.

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

babysteps23 said:

Good Lord! That thing is AWESOME! I would hope she'd understand. I would if it were me. Who could ever replicate that! Wowza! What does something like that cost?

Cost depends on inside flavors, they take about 20/30 hours to do....its those damn little gumpaste animals that take forever. I think that one was $3.50ish per person and it was a party for 150 people, plus she wanted the cupcakes for the kids.

SuperSecretStatus · August 2013

yesthisiskim0401 said:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9VKKXwVxU

Wah wah, wah wah wah

Alexandrap · August 2013

I agree with PP you have known for a while now, I'm assuming, what your closing date was. I get cakes of that magnitude for my sons birthday every year and let me tell you that telling her just two weeks before the event that you aren't going to do it AND offer no assistance to find someone who can is highly unprofessional. I would probably tell everyone I knew of the incident. I think at the very least you could have spoken to any other bakers you know that have the same level of talent as you and lined it all up for her. She had to dig herself out of a hole you created. I think had you been making the cake for free it would have been a little more understandable but you're not and she's paying you for a service.

You obviously don't think it's a big deal and maybe she didn't either but it was still highly unprofessional on your end.

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

Alexandrap said:

I agree with PP you have known for a while now, I'm assuming, what your closing date was. I get cakes of that magnitude for my sons birthday every year and let me tell you that telling her just two weeks before the event that you aren't going to do it AND offer no assistance to find someone who can is highly unprofessional. I would probably tell everyone I knew of the incident. I think at the very least you could have spoken to any other bakers you know that have the same level of talent as you and lined it all up for her. She had to dig herself out of a hole you created. I think had you been making the cake for free it would have been a little more understandable but you're not and she's paying you for a service. You obviously don't think it's a big deal and maybe she didn't either but it was still highly unprofessional on your end.

No we put an offer in on our house 25 days ago but yes you're right I felt like a total jerk for forgetting. However since she asked in passing at a luncheon we were together at in April, and never mentioned it again until this week, so its also true I didn't feel the most obligated. I write contracts for paid cakes at least a month in advance and take deposits to keep things professional and confirm dates/flavors/estimated guest count/delivery location, perhaps she thought this would free? Who knows. I am certainly very happy she found someone to make the cake for her little 1 year olds big day.

Alexandrap · August 2013

has615 said:

Alexandrap said:

I agree with PP you have known for a while now, I'm assuming, what your closing date was. I get cakes of that magnitude for my sons birthday every year and let me tell you that telling her just two weeks before the event that you aren't going to do it AND offer no assistance to find someone who can is highly unprofessional. I would probably tell everyone I knew of the incident. I think at the very least you could have spoken to any other bakers you know that have the same level of talent as you and lined it all up for her. She had to dig herself out of a hole you created. I think had you been making the cake for free it would have been a little more understandable but you're not and she's paying you for a service.

You obviously don't think it's a big deal and maybe she didn't either but it was still highly unprofessional on your end.

No we put an offer in on our house 25 days ago but yes you're right I felt like a total jerk for forgetting. However since she asked in passing at a luncheon we were together at in April, and never mentioned it again until this week, so its also true I didn't feel the most obligated. I write contracts for paid cakes at least a month in advance and take deposits to keep things professional and confirm dates/flavors/estimated guest count/delivery location, perhaps she thought this would free? Who knows. I am certainly very happy she found someone to make the cake for her little 1 year olds big day.

Ok after a little more info the situation is a little more clear. Since you never took a deposit and set everything up with her I don't know what she was expecting. I would bug the hell out of a baker till I had everything in writting and paid my deposit. To mention it on passing is not an agreement to actually make the cake. I will retract my claws now. I think I got riled up after a bad experience with a baker who just never made the cake after I paid in full.

allurea · August 2013

I would have dug out my tools, pans and baking supplies and done it. I would never do that to a client, and definitely not a friend. I have a wedding cake to do when I will be less then 4 weeks away from my due date, I have a back up plan in place in case I can't do it for some reason.

bkeane619 · August 2013

KevsLove · August 2013

I can understand that because there was no solidified plans things could have slipped your mind but what I don't understand is why you'd post this as if it were a funny situation. As someone who is supposed to be a professional I'd be ashamed to admit I'd done this. It smacks of disorganization. If this was yesterday I'd just assume it was a FFF submission, today I say your just a troll...

SuperSecretStatus · August 2013

RedheadBaker said:

Dude, I made and delivered a cake a week after having brain surgery, and you're trying to pull the pregnancy card? I hope she ditches your irresponsible ass. And you have control over your closing date, I had no control over my surgery date. They make these little things called calendars, you should get one. They are even electronic ones that will send you emails as reminders.

Hello RHB!

Wino0920 · August 2013

Omg!! How amazing that she found a baker just minutes after everyone started calling you out!! Such a perfect world!! Happy faces all around.

Amjoy25 · August 2013

I'm glad she found someone else. Although, I'm still trying to figure out how closing on a house fits as a good excuse? I've closed on homes, and I don't recall it being such a big deal. I would think still having your shit packed, and not knowing where anything is...is a WAY better excuse. Also, I'm bored.. So I'm glad this thread is still going. \:D/

Ajoyd · August 2013

Wino0920 said:

Omg!! How amazing that she found a baker just minutes after everyone started calling you out!! Such a perfect world!! Happy faces all around.

This is an excellent point. What time did she text you, 5:00 am?

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

I find the fact that this thread is still going awesome. I'm not a professional baker, I have 2 other jobs I do full time. So if I can't do a cake I had no contract for that's life. And it turns out she thought it was going to be free, like a favor and couldn't afford what I charged my other friend for the same cake. Keep it coming though its making my Saturday errands more fun to check in. Everyone's weekend is made more interesting with a little catty banter, me-ow.

lovelittlebean · August 2013

Yeah, why did you title the thread "I'm such a jerk" if you are defending what you did? Does not compute!

BlessUrHeart29 · August 2013

I would like some cake please.

Wino0920 · August 2013

has615 said:
I find the fact that this thread is still going awesome. I'm not a professional baker, I have 2 other jobs I do full time. So if I can't do a cake I had no contract for that's life. And it turns out she thought it was going to be free, like a favor and couldn't afford what I charged my other friend for the same cake. Keep it coming though its making my Saturday errands more fun to check in. Everyone's weekend is made more interesting with a little catty banter, me-ow.

Oh now it's the friend who wasn't going to pay!! Lol! This just keeps getting better. Backtrack much.

I love how you come back and act like you don't care, but the never ending changing story says otherwise.

Mae208 · August 2013

dknight413 said:

JarynA said:

I would like some cake please.

Me too. That icing looks so good.

This thread is making me laugh. It's a birthday cake people! If worse comes to absolute worse you can go to the supermarket and pick up one of those ice cream ones with the brown crunchy bits in the middle. I'm sure the kid will survive. Hopefully...

Lol this is my thought too. But I'm also in the camp that there's no way in hell I would ever pay hundreds of dollars for some fancy cake unless it was my wedding, so I guess I just don't see the big deal *shrugs*.

CarolinaGirl411 · August 2013

I'd be pissed and you don't have a valid excuse. Word of mouth is the worst, hopefully this doesn't make you lose the business that you don't wanna earn.

You should unpack the shit and make the cake, it wouldn't take 2 weeks to find the boxes and make it.

Wino0920 · August 2013

dknight413 said:

JarynA said:

I would like some cake please.

Me too. That icing looks so good.

This thread is making me laugh. It's a birthday cake people! If worse comes to absolute worse you can go to the supermarket and pick up one of those ice cream ones with the brown crunchy bits in the middle. I'm sure the kid will survive. Hopefully...

It's not just a cake, it's that she said she would do something for a friend and then left her friend high and dry at last minute. Bakeries usually require some time. Sure she could go to the store and get a boring cake, but that's not what she was planning. The OP doesn't even have a good excuse for it.

AMd I hate when the pregnancy card is pulled for bs!

BlessUrHeart29 · August 2013

Wino0920 said:

JarynA said:

I would like some cake please.

Me too. That icing looks so good.
This thread is making me laugh. It's a birthday cake people! If worse comes to absolute worse you can go to the supermarket and pick up one of those ice cream ones with the brown crunchy bits in the middle. I'm sure the kid will survive. Hopefully...
It's not just a cake, it's that she said she would do something for a friend and then left her friend high and dry at last minute. Bakeries usually require some time. Sure she could go to the store and get a boring cake, but that's not what she was planning. The OP doesn't even have a good excuse for it. AMd I hate when the pregnancy card is pulled for bs!

Don't get me wrong, I agree that it was crappy to back out so late in the game! I just would also really like some cake now. But I'm fine with a box mix (chocolate) with chocolate frosting from a can.

CMireles2 · August 2013

Im so calling my husband to bring me home ice cream cake... this may or may not be the second time this pregnancy I NEED ice cream cake!

Phalaenopsis · August 2013

dknight413 said:

This thread is making me laugh. It's a birthday cake people! If worse comes to absolute worse you can go to the supermarket and pick up one of those ice cream ones with the brown crunchy bits in the middle. I'm sure the kid will survive. Hopefully...

It's not about the cake. The OP first says she regularly draws up contracts to remain professional, then says she is not a professional baker. Fine. Her friend called her up with a head count which means her friend took her 'verbal contract' seriously. She broke that verbal contract for a lame excuse. It's not about the cake... it is about her unprofessional conduct in the situation.

dknight413 said:

She should have had a contingency plan in place then just in case her non-contracted, baker- friend backed out <:-P

This is why it is never good to trust quasi-professionals with services, they feel no obligation to follow through on said service.

LSP87 · August 2013

Tea and cake or DEATH!!

msronzio · August 2013

Doesn't a cake go bad within two weeks anyway? Well whatever, it's a beautiful cake! I'm more of a baby-in-the-watermelon type of person. Gotta love dem fruit arrangements.

hamiltks10 · August 2013

Honestly....I think that cake is hideous.

sfshorter · August 2013

has615 said:
I find the fact that this thread is still going awesome. I'm not a professional baker, I have 2 other jobs I do full time. So if I can't do a cake I had no contract for that's life. And it turns out she thought it was going to be free, like a favor and couldn't afford what I charged my other friend for the same cake. Keep it coming though its making my Saturday errands more fun to check in. Everyone's weekend is made more interesting with a little catty banter, me-ow.

This all stinks of a big pack of lies. I've made some cakes and pastries for events as well, and no one just assumes that is free. The man hours alone should be an obvious enough reason for compensation. That being said, there is no way in hell I'd charge someone over $500 for that cake either, or pay that much for it. It's cute, but Walmart can do that cake for less than $100 and the kids will love it all the same.

Just joining in on the catty snark. Dh pissed me off so I'm feeling bitchy.

Ycu2013 · August 2013

@Sfshorter- I would have to disagree. I know it's a different kind of business, but still. I'm into photography and one of my friends asked me to take pictures of her little girls. She normally pays 150 to get them done an hour away from where she lives, but she really wanted me to take them this time. I told her that I would charge her 50.00 for an hour session and I would include the editing and that she would have rights to all the pictures. Well guess what? Since I'm her friend...she thought they were going to be free and expected it. I take pride in my work and don't hand anything to my clients until I'm 100% satisfied with what I'm giving them as far as the editing. I put long hard hours into it if needed. She got mad and said nevermind! Really? 50 freaking bucks?!! Yet she paid a photographer several times 150 without being satisfied!!! Friends expect things and I'm not saying that what OP did was right..she could have told her she couldn't do it sooner. Walmart couldn't do the cake for 100. It takes time to do it, and Walmart or places like it don't have time for it! And if they try, it turns out looking like shit.

Ycu2013 · August 2013

Awesome looking cake! You are very talented!!

losersaidwhat · August 2013

Am I the only one that wonders how someone can be 8 months pregnant already in August when I've still got two months left until my Oct. 7 due date? Lunar months? Difference in opinion of how pregnancy "months" are calculated? Idk. I think this on its own is exaggerated bs looking for sympathy.

It also kind of seems like the whole point of the OP wasn't to admit being a jerk (because OP obviously doesn't believe you're a jerk anymore when the problem is solved and there was no contract or money changed hands). It feels like a shameless plug/AW for her side business of cake making, what with the "look at what the cake should have looked like" and later discussion of what she charges for that result?

Granted, she was asked what it would cost without offering it, so I'll give her that in which I default to this just being a misguided AW post. I'm unsure of why being a jerk is something to brag about, regardless of all the convenient reasoning behind it.

losersaidwhat · August 2013

@Ycu2013 Agreed on the not giving away stuff for free to friends thing. Discount? Sure. But nothing is free. Even just the cost of the cake ingredients is a lot!

So shame on OP friend for assuming it was going to be a free favor because there is no written contract and they're broke... And shame on OP for letting her assume this by not setting her straight and being clear from the beginning, and leading her on. You're still a jerk.

sleepy33 · August 2013

losersaidwhat said:

Am I the only one that wonders how someone can be 8 months pregnant already in August when I've still got two months left until my Oct. 7 due date? Lunar months? Difference in opinion of how pregnancy "months" are calculated? Idk. I think this on its own is exaggerated bs looking for sympathy. It also kind of seems like the whole point of the OP wasn't to admit being a jerk (because OP obviously doesn't believe you're a jerk anymore when the problem is solved and there was no contract or money changed hands). It feels like a shameless plug/AW for her side business of cake making, what with the "look at what the cake should have looked like" and later discussion of what she charges for that result? Granted, she was asked what it would cost without offering it, so I'll give her that in which I default to this just being a misguided AW post. I'm unsure of why being a jerk is something to brag about, regardless of all the convenient reasoning behind it.

No I was thinking this, too, but just eyerolled it and moved on.

kirbabe · August 2013

I think Loser hit the nail on the head, I almost posted this last night, but phone was dying.

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