Hanging around in bed - GTKY

brookeK1990 · August 2013

I'm just hanging out, probably going to put on some Netflix while my fiancé is at work.... What are you up to this Thursday? I was on the phone with my fiancé while he was on his way to work and we started talking about how many children we want. I said 4 but at least 3 . He was pretty much telling me I'm dreaming, but I know darn well he is going to want more than one after we hopefully have our first. Because sometimes I think he wants a baby more than me. Figuratively speaking. I have 2 sisters, and all cousins are girls and twins all run on my moms side. All the twins just so happen to be girls. I know that it pointless since the man carries the sex gene. But I think his fear is have 4 girls.... Anyways way off topic... GTKY: have you discussed this with your DH/Fiancé/Boyfriend/SO? What agreements did you come up with? How many do you want and how many do they want?

michaelad3 · August 2013

We both say we want at least 3, but things could change. DH says we can't stop at 3 because it's his philosophy that the 3rd child is always trouble

TeeJ526 · August 2013

Just sitting here looking for something to watch on Netflix too. Originally I only wanted 1. I'm an only and so is DH. But he wants at least 2 so my compromise is for at least 2.

brookeK1990 · August 2013

I'm the middle and I was definitely the most trouble. The last one was spoiled and a good girl

BethKate · August 2013

First of all, I would seriously hope that anyone who is actively TTC has had the conversation with their SO about how many children they want. To me, that's a conversation that should happen before you start trying.

My husband and have always said that we only want one. Before we were married, we talked about only really wanting one, but that maybe we'd change our minds about having more once we had one. Now that it has already been over a year since we started TTC, I'm pretty sure we'll be one and done.

ETA: Our main reason for wanting just one is the cost of daycare. We can't possibly afford two in daycare at around $1500/month each.

Bella61811 · August 2013

We definitely both want 2 children. We will be trying for #2 at the end of the month when it's ovulation time again, we're currently in the middle of the last cycle TTA. We may possibly have 3 children but that's still debatable.

Pintobean39 · August 2013

One and done. Since I'm 39 and he's 38.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

themrsJRD · August 2013

I'd like to have at least 2. DH I think is okay with 2, but would probably need convincing for more lol. I think the biggest factor would be what we can do financially.

stefaniew26 · August 2013

We are trying for our second one. H and I have always said 2. While I still feel that way now (want to be financially sound and have a comfy lifestyle) I may want a third once the second baby is not longer a wee one. I am one who LOVES the new squishy days

MinaE01 · August 2013

H and I would both like 3-4. Although, if we have another preemie (DS was born at 32w3d and spent 24 days in the NICU), we will have to rethink that decision. Hopefully, we'll have another baby and he or she will be full term!

brookeK1990 · August 2013

First of all, I would seriously hope that anyone who is actively TTC has had the conversation with their SO about how many children they want. To me, that's a conversation that should happen before you start trying.
My husband and have always said that we only want one. Before we were married, we talked about only really wanting one, but that maybe we'd change our minds about having more once we had one. Now that we're 31 and it has already been over a year since we started TTC, I'm pretty sure we'll be one and done.

First of all, we have had this conversation plenty of times. We have one at least twice a week. Just haven't been bored enough to talk about it. My mom was 31 when she had her last one. Good luck , you may change you minds. 31 is prime!

Tamma254 · August 2013

We're TTC my third, his first, so if and when we have a baby together, it'll be the last.

brookeK1990 · August 2013

stefaniew26 said:

We are trying for our second one. H and I have always said 2. While I still feel that way now (want to be financially sound and have a comfy lifestyle) I may want a third once the second baby is not longer a wee one. I am one who LOVES the new squishy days

haha I know I'm going to be the exact same way

BethKate · August 2013

Brookema90 said:

First of all, I would seriously hope that anyone who is actively TTC has had the conversation with their SO about how many children they want. To me, that's a conversation that should happen before you start trying.
My husband and have always said that we only want one. Before we were married, we talked about only really wanting one, but that maybe we'd change our minds about having more once we had one. Now that we're 31 and it has already been over a year since we started TTC, I'm pretty sure we'll be one and done.
First of all, we have had this conversation plenty of times. We have one at least twice a week. Just haven't been bored enough to talk about it. My mom was 31 when she had her last one. Good luck , you may change you minds. 31 is prime!

Calm yourself. You asked this question: have you discussed this with your DH/Fiancé/Boyfriend/SO? and I answered it by saying I would hope anyone on this board who is ttc has had that convo. I wasn't implying that you hadn't.

We won't change our minds. I have no desire to go through this process more than once.

brookeK1990 · August 2013

Brookema90 said:

First of all, I would seriously hope that anyone who is actively TTC has had the conversation with their SO about how many children they want. To me, that's a conversation that should happen before you start trying.
My husband and have always said that we only want one. Before we were married, we talked about only really wanting one, but that maybe we'd change our minds about having more once we had one. Now that we're 31 and it has already been over a year since we started TTC, I'm pretty sure we'll be one and done.
First of all, we have had this conversation plenty of times. We have one at least twice a week. Just haven't been bored enough to talk about it. My mom was 31 when she had her last one. Good luck , you may change you minds. 31 is prime!

Calm yourself. You asked this question: have you discussed this with your DH/Fiancé/Boyfriend/SO? and I answered it by saying I would hope anyone on this board who is ttc has had that convo. I wasn't implying that you hadn't.
We won't change our minds. I have no desire to go through this process more than once.

I'm calm. And ok!

jjgrl55 · August 2013

I can see DH and I being happy with one child or all the way up to four. He grew up as an only child and would prefer to have more than one, but I always (jokingly) tell people we are going to wait to see how much we like the first one before we consider a second.

KenziK · August 2013

We are saying one for now, but not making that the final decision. I figure it's not something we can 100% commit to when we have no idea how we will handle parenthood, so after the first one we will wait a couple years before making a decision on any other children. I wouldn't mind two, so we will see!

Swede25 · August 2013

We both agreed on two, but multiples run on my side of the family, so we shall see what happens. My dad is a twin, my mom was a twin, I was supposed to be triplets or quads, and my second pregnancy (miscarriage) also had a vanishing twin. I'll be happy with whatever I can get!

brookeK1990 · August 2013

I can see DH and I being happy with one child or all the way up to four. He grew up as an only child and would prefer to have more than one, but I always (jokingly) tell people we are going to wait to see how much we like the first one before we consider a second.

see he was an only child too but still only want want or mayyyybe two. I want a big family. All my friends who had big families always seemed to be so happy

brookeK1990 · August 2013

Swede25 said:

We both agreed on two, but multiples run on my side of the family, so we shall see what happens. My dad is a twin, my mom was a twin, I was supposed to be triplets or quads, and my second pregnancy (miscarriage) also had a vanishing twin. I'll be happy with whatever I can get!

that's crazy . There was a pattern in my family ... Like every other generation was supposed to be a twin. But my aunt messed up the pattern some how and instead I could have been a twin but now the pattern is me having twins !

jchickiem · August 2013

Before we got married we were both in the "more than 2" camp. We probably still are, but things aren't happening as quickly as we had hoped, so right now we're working on #2, and if/when he or she gets here and gets established, I'm sure we'll reevaluate from there.

RedInLove · August 2013

We've agreed on having 2 kids. While I think it's likely DH will enjoy having kids more than he might seem now, I think he will still be happy with our decision of 2 and will not want to have more. Unless we have 2 boys, because he wants a girl. That 'might' be one reason he'd go for a 3rd, but I think it's still unlikely.

maltwin1 · August 2013

DH and I first discused this before we got married. I originally said 4, he said 3. After we had been married for a while I started saying 3. After DS was born we both started saying we may be good with 2.

the hypothetical number seemed a lot easier than when real kids were involved.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Before we had DS, I wanted 3 and DH wanted 4 or 5. Now we both I think want 3 but would probably be happy with two.

AppleGrapeMSTK · August 2013

I have 7 siblings, DH has only 1. He thinks 2 is too few, and I think 8 is way too much. We have agreed on 3-5, so long as we can afford it. But we have also agreed that our children do not need to be all biological. We are in the process of officially adopting DD.

KatieN123 · August 2013

When DH and I were dating I wanted 3 and he said 2 at the most. Now, I want 2 and DH said maybe we could have 1 and be done. We decided to discuss a second after we have #1. PPL change their minds all the time. In fact, a know a couple who divorced over having children. At first, the DH said he wanted children, but changed his mind into the marriage.

Wildfire2011 · August 2013

DH ideally would want 2... I think I might want more than that, but would settle for 2. I think he's mostly concerned about having enough time to spend with his kids. He has a pretty busy job, but would also put a lot of pressure on himself to be a very involved dad, so that would be tough for him to balance. We'll see how it goes, one kid at a time... And of course, finances are always something to consider.

LeadMitten · August 2013

The more the merrier I always say.

I have 5 siblings and I think big families are so fun. DH wants two and I want 5. We are meeting in the middle at 3 maybe four. We are just starting to TTC this cycle though. I will take what I can't get haha

brookeK1990 · August 2013

KatieN123 said:

When DH and I were dating I wanted 3 and he said 2 at the most. Now, I want 2 and DH said maybe we could have 1 and be done. We decided to discuss a second after we have #1. PPL change their minds all the time. In fact, a know a couple who divorced over having children. At first, the DH said he wanted children, but changed his mind into the marriage.

yes ppl do change their minds. My fiancé loves me dearly and would do anything to make me happy. So if I want another, I'm pretty sure he will love to give me another. I hope!!

brookeK1990 · August 2013

DH and I first discused this before we got married. I originally said 4, he said 3. After we had been married for a while I started saying 3. After DS was born we both started saying we may be good with 2. the hypothetical number seemed a lot easier than when real kids were involved.

Yes this is true. I have yet to have one so things could change

brookeK1990 · August 2013

Financially we can only afford one right now

doodiebug18 · August 2013

We would love 2 maybe 3, but at this point we would be extremely happy with 1

CiderWench · August 2013

This will be our fourth and last. I'd like six but my husband isn't on board.

coopsbaby · August 2013

I have three from my first marriage, so that seems like a great number to have with dh as well. Two just isn't enough and 4 is a handful but three is fun! I only had one sister growing up, dh had 2 brothers, but both died as children. We'd definitely like at least 2, since we both loved having a sibling to grow up with, and I always wished I had another sister or maybe a brother. Of course that would really be 6 for me, but they'll be so far apart in age it's like starting from scratch.

Valie18 · August 2013

We say we want at least two and at most four. We'll reevaluate after the first.

mrs_tacos · August 2013

We're just going to take it one at a time, though DH comes from a big family, and I often wonder if he'll want a bigger family once we get going. I'd be happy with two, I'd be happy with five, we'll just see how it goes.

MMason12 · August 2013

We discussed the number of children we wanted while we were dating, engaged, and being married. Both of us agree that we would like to have 2 kids and no more than that.

There are a lot of reasons that having more than 2 would really rough for us. My husband is a police officer who works the afternoon shift (2pm-10pm) and it will be at least 8 more years until he will be able to even think about moving do the day shift. So, this leaves it up to me to do a majority of the evening activities. I can handle running two kids around our small town for school stuff, sports, etc; however, having to do that for 3+ kids would just be too much. I really don't want our kids to suffer because I cannot handle getting them places. We also have no family who lives within 45 minutes of us, and I do not want to count on asking friends to constantly help us cart our kids around. Our house won't fit more than 2 kids either. And in the end having a total of 4 is a nice round number that is easy to accommodate with cars, tickets, rides, etc. I really believe people should only have the number of kids that they can handle and afford and for us we know that means having two.

brneyemom2 · August 2013

Right now we're trying for a third so I guess 3, but we'll see how we feel after this one.

LollyLawlz · August 2013

I come from a semi big family and being the oldest, I LOVED it growing up. I plan on having as many as I can get until I feel enough is enough

brookeK1990 · August 2013

We discussed the number of children we wanted while we were dating, engaged, and being married. Both of us agree that we would like to have 2 kids and no more than that.

There are a lot of reasons that having more than 2 would really rough for us. My husband is a police officer who works the afternoon shift (2pm-10pm) and it will be at least 8 more years until he will be able to even think about moving do the day shift. So, this leaves it up to me to do a majority of the evening activities. I can handle running two kids around our small town for school stuff, sports, etc; however, having to do that for 3+ kids would just be too much. I really don't want our kids to suffer because I cannot handle getting them places. We also have no family who lives within 45 minutes of us, and I do not want to count on asking friends to constantly help us cart our kids around. Our house won't fit more than 2 kids either. And in the end having a total of 4 is a nice round number that is easy to accommodate with cars, tickets, rides, etc. I really believe people should only have the number of kids that they can handle and afford and for us we know that means having two.

Oh geez my fiancé is in the police academy as we speak. Like I said before, we can only afford one for now

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Hanging around in bed - GTKY

Re: Hanging around in bed - GTKY

BFP on 11/23/13!! Due date is July 20, 2014!

Yeah! DH and I did it on our own without any treatments or procedures. We are excited about our miracle baby.

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