Hi there, I am a little curious how common it is for women to milk their pregnancy symptoms, i have a friend who got pregnant in February and she found out like 4 weeks or whatever, and by then she was already complaining that "baby doesn't want me to eat" or "oh, baby must not like this smell i have to leave" and shed run out super dramatically.... now shes about 7 months along and for the past 2 months has not returned my phone calls or texts, and also a few other friends either.. and so my husband asked hers, and he spoke to her and she claims that "non pregnant girls will never understand what i am going through so i cannot put myself around them" and she prefers to hang out with other already mommies.. I am not sure what to do, I've tried going over and talking to her but she never answer's the door and if she does claims shes too busy to talk and closes it right away in my face... I understand i'm not pregnant, and i may not understand the stress and worry and changes, But is this behavior normal? I love my friend to pieces and i just want to understand it better, So if any other mommies out there or ladies TTC can offer me any advice and whatnot on it, i would appreciate it.
Re: milking pregnancy
Oh it wasn't me saying suck it up, it was milking it on how dramatically she would do it, like if we were out somewhere, it seemed like the entire building needed to know she was pregnant and this smell or feeling she had, needed to go away, like i'm not kidding when i say she would dramatically run out of a place if she smelt the tiniest thing, and she'd get outside and gasp for air.... That is the part i kind of expected she would handle a little more differently..
There is zero chance I would attend a baby shower for someone who couldn't be around non pregnant women because they don't understand what she is going through.
OP- Sometimes it's just easier to let some friendships go. I was friends with a coworker and even agreed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She turned into a major bridezilla (She would constantly tell me how she didn't even want a stupid wedding and she couldn't wait until it was over. I wished I had known how little she cared before I shelled out a few hundred dollars to get a bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair and make up done, etc.) and I realized quickly that we were not meant to be friends. She is a self centered person and loves for everyone to feel sorry for her.
My coworker was BSC when she was pregnant. She complained non stop to anyone and everyone she talked to (and I mean everyone, she even complained to the guy that delivered our lunch to our office). Of course her second pregnancy happened to coincide with when I started IF testing/treatment. For the first few weeks, I tried to ignore her constant complaining. Finally, I told her that I was going through IF testing and that I wasn't always in the mood to talk about pregnancy (which was not exactly true, I just couldn't stand her constant complaining). I thought that this would stop her from using me as a go to person for complaining about pregnancy, but it didn't. Instead she complained about her pregnancy and then asked for constant updates about how my "stuff" was going. It just proved that she was not the type of friend that I needed.
TTC #1 since August 2011
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September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
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Women who milk pregnancy irks me to no end. I had a family member who needed her husband to pull the car up to the door for her in her first trimester because her back was hurting and she was to pregnant to walk or drive much. Seriously...
I was working a very physical job involving dogs and cleaning until my boss forced me to go on maternity leave a few weeks before my due date. I also had a Super sense of smell and lots of things made me get super sick but I sucked it up and said nothing ever even when visiting family.
-sorry I guess I still need to vent and this reminded me. Good luck with your friend.
Mommy loves you Eevee!
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Maybe another completely and utterly selfish person coming into her life (baby) will cure her. Or, maybe not.
I think you should rethink your friendship with this lady. Just my opinion.
My husband and I tied the knot on June 29th, 2013
First pregnancy: BFP- 10/23/09. EDD- 06/30/09. MC- 11/23/09
TTC #1 since August 2013: Hooray!
DX: PCOS 9/23/13