FFFC

Unknown · July 2013

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thebanich · July 2013

We aren't sure about a birthday party yet. We did a big-ish one for DD and she was overwhelmed the whole time. Everybody else had fun but she wouldn't even touch her cake.

My FFFC/Vent is that I'm pissed at DH because he is going kayaking this weekend, leaving me alone with the kids. Again. I am still exhausted from our trip to Colorado and was really hoping for a break. I know if I say anything he will get all pissy so I'm just going to pout about it here.

MrsManny · July 2013

MrsKipper said:

I'm paranoid about posting anything on here about my family or friends in case they stumble upon it somehow. Case in point, I was just going to say something about a family member, but erased it in case he/she ever came across it.
I'm the same way!

Oh I agree! I'm paranoid about any pictures too, which makes me sad. I want you all to see my cute son!

Holly_1007 · July 2013

cherrycrepe said:

Holly_1007 said:

I hear you girl. I'm actually starting to develop an anxiety about it because I'm so nervous he is going to be delayed, autistic, MR etc. (Completely irrational and I will obviously love him not matter what) Just know you aren't alone!
I do not understand this mindset at all. Why are you nervous of those things? I think dwelling on things like this for no real reason can create an issue out of a non-issue.

Its completely irrational and I know it. It probably comes from a deep rooted need for perfection that I grew up with. I'm developing an anxiety about it because I'm worrying about it but keeping it bottled inside. I haven't mentioned it to DH or anyone really IRL (besides just checking to make sure that our Pedi was okay with his skill level) I have mentioned a few times that my SD's half sister is pretty severely autistic and it really just struck a nerve with me, this is someone that we interact with pretty frequently and its the closest I have come to engaging with someone with that level of special needs. I don't really know. I'm sure that everything will be fine, he is just a cautious baby but I find myself going above and beyond to try to help and him and encourage him, whereas with Keagan I just let him do his thing. Obviously I will love my child regardless, but like any mother, I want the best for him. I don't want him to have to grow up struggling, or to have people look down on him etc. (and FWIW I'm trying not to be insensitive, so I hope I don't come across that way)

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

Last night, DH was going down on me and I felt a fart coming on. It felt soooo good (the oral, not the fart) that I didn't want him to stop so I sucked the fart back up (ha). I couldn't feel it anymore and thought I was safe so I relaxed and got back into it annnnnnd farted in his face!

Whoops.

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

ambekirt said:

We aren't really having a party at all for her first birthday. We will have our parent's over and siblings. I can't fathom spending a huge sum of money on a party she won't remember. I plan on saving the big parties for when she is older.

This. ILs fly in over Labour Day every year anyway, so we're basically doing it around then. My mom may come up then, but I doubt it. Aunt who lives close-ish by will be there. That's it.

I bought decorations the other day. At the dollar store. $4. What. Up. *Barney High Five*

misspunky · July 2013

Banich4eva said:

We aren't sure about a birthday party yet. We did a big-ish one for DD and she was overwhelmed the whole time. Everybody else had fun but she wouldn't even touch her cake.

My FFFC/Vent is that I'm pissed at DH because he is going kayaking this weekend, leaving me alone with the kids. Again. I am still exhausted from our trip to Colorado and was really hoping for a break. I know if I say anything he will get all pissy so I'm just going to pout about it here.

DH is pretty much going to be MIA all weekend too. Saturday he's chopping wood for our winter stash and Sunday morning he leaves at 3am to go to the brickyard race. I'm not looking forward to the weekend at all.

jbBeans · July 2013

terri_doula2010 said:
Last night, DH was going down on me and I felt a fart coming on. It felt soooo good (the oral, not the fart) that I didn't want him to stop so I sucked the fart back up (ha). I couldn't feel it anymore and thought I was safe so I relaxed and got back into it annnnnnd farted in his face!

Whoops.

Wait, FFFC or TMI Tuesday?

J/k. I've done this. Sex-related FFFC: MH was definitely looking to get it on this am without actually saying anything and I just acted like I didn't notice. There was honestly not enough time given that I make him breakfast and lunch in the morning, and I've gone without too many showers to let go of an opportunity when the baby was still asleep. I feel terrible choosing a shower over MH, but I did it and the shower felt great.

LuvSD · July 2013

Its completely irrational and I know it. It probably comes from a deep rooted need for perfection that I grew up with. I'm developing an anxiety about it because I'm worrying about it but keeping it bottled inside. I haven't mentioned it to DH or anyone really IRL (besides just checking to make sure that our Pedi was okay with his skill level) I have mentioned a few times that my SD's half sister is pretty severely autistic and it really just struck a nerve with me, this is someone that we interact with pretty frequently and its the closest I have come to engaging with someone with that level of special needs. I don't really know. I'm sure that everything will be fine, he is just a cautious baby but I find myself going above and beyond to try to help and him and encourage him, whereas with Keagan I just let him do his thing. Obviously I will love my child regardless, but like any mother, I want the best for him. I don't want him to have to grow up struggling, or to have people look down on him etc. (and FWIW I'm trying not to be insensitive, so I hope I don't come across that way)
I feel like this about DD. Even though I know there is nothing "wrong" with Reese's hernia, I am self conscious about it for her. I don't let her wear a two-piece bathing suit and I don't like to put t-shirts on her because when people lift her, they expose it. I just don't want people making a big deal about it or for her to feel self conscious as she gets older, but then I wonder if I'm perpetuating the problem.

I totally get this and I sympathize. However, I would be careful with always trying to cover it up. Your LO may grow up thinking she needs to hide her imperfections instead of embracing them. If people see it and say something negative, they are jerks. Just my two cents....

My FFFC - I was super close to telling work that I had to stay home with LO because she has an ear infection and can't go to daycare. FWIW, she does have an ear infection so it wouldn't have been a complete lie.

willy_gert · July 2013

Jones' comment made me think of this, but it is probably more of an UO. I don't want/ won't let Luci wear two piece bathing suits now, because I don't want her wearing them when she is older. I would prefer she be modest and wear a tankini or a one piece bathing suit. So I will not put her in a two piece now. My stepmom bought her one and I let her wear it once, to appease my step mom, but that is it.

thebanich · July 2013

kate2904 said:

Banich4eva said:

We aren't sure about a birthday party yet. We did a big-ish one for DD and she was overwhelmed the whole time. Everybody else had fun but she wouldn't even touch her cake.

My FFFC/Vent is that I'm pissed at DH because he is going kayaking this weekend, leaving me alone with the kids. Again. I am still exhausted from our trip to Colorado and was really hoping for a break. I know if I say anything he will get all pissy so I'm just going to pout about it here.

DH is pretty much going to be MIA all weekend too. Saturday he's chopping wood for our winter stash and Sunday morning he leaves at 3am to go to the brickyard race. I'm not looking forward to the weekend at all.

I wouldn't care except that I took the kids to CO without him and I just need a break and some time to myself. Both DD and DS were super clingy while we were gone. DH is also working Sunday so this weekend is going to suck. I need a vacation from my "vacations"

thebanich · July 2013

willy_gert said:

Jones' comment made me think of this, but it is probably more of an UO. I don't want/ won't let Luci wear two piece bathing suits now, because I don't want her wearing them when she is older. I would prefer she be modest and wear a tankini or a one piece bathing suit. So I will not put her in a two piece now. My stepmom bought her one and I let her wear it once, to appease my step mom, but that is it.

I'm interested in why you don't want her to wear a two piece when she is older?

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

TMI FFFC. That's how I roll!

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

jlk6 said:

Last night, DH was going down on me and I felt a fart coming on. It felt soooo good (the oral, not the fart) that I didn't want him to stop so I sucked the fart back up (ha). I couldn't feel it anymore and thought I was safe so I relaxed and got back into it annnnnnd farted in his face!

Whoops.
My H would probably never go down on me again if that happened! He would be pissed! But funny thing is almost every time we are about to have sex, I feel like I have to fart. Why does that happen?!

I love my hubby. He leaned back laughing to let the area air out, then went back to work.

Afterward we were laughing about it and I said, "Oh well, at least I have an FFFC."

willy_gert · July 2013

Banich4eva said:

willy_gert said:

Jones' comment made me think of this, but it is probably more of an UO. I don't want/ won't let Luci wear two piece bathing suits now, because I don't want her wearing them when she is older. I would prefer she be modest and wear a tankini or a one piece bathing suit. So I will not put her in a two piece now. My stepmom bought her one and I let her wear it once, to appease my step mom, but that is it.

I'm interested in why you don't want her to wear a two piece when she is older?

For me it is just modesty. I want her to be mindful of how she dresses and what she wears from a modesty perspective. I'm not going to make her wear dresses and turtlenecks or anything like that, but I do want her to be properly covered. I am not a fan of bikini's and everything that they show and how little they leave to the imagination. It is just a modesty thing for me.

hmp1 · July 2013

willy_gert said:

KellersPrag said:

willy_gert said:

My FFFC is that I discovered yesterday that I can view everyone in my entire agency's salary information. I know it would be completely unethical to look, but I really want to.... So far, I have not. Maybe if I leave, on my last day I will look!

Our is available to any employee.

Our's isn't because they don't want us comparing salaries and because they don't want us to know what others are making..... They are pretty shitty like that though!

I think it is shitty to have salaries accessible to everyone. I don't want people to know what I make and DH certainly doesn't want people to know what he makes. When I managed a large group, I could see what everyone under me made. While they were all within the salary range, we have a pretty large range. I see no reason why that should be public and cannot see any good coming from it.

hmp1 · July 2013

KellersPrag said:

Charlotte's piggy lovey is really dirty and smells really bad. Like, embarrassingly so.
But I can't ever get laundry done while she is awake, and she uses it during naps/night time. So, smelly and dirty it shall continue to be - and go to school with her as such.

Time to buy another so you can wash one while she sleeps with the other. Plus, you won't have to deal with a lost piggie if that ever happens.

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

I'm in the no bikini for LOs camp with @willy_gert. I'm far from overly-modest, but I think bikinis on little girls overly sexualizes them at a young age.

Someone gave us a two piece for Hazel and if she ever wears it it will be in the backyard but I don't know if I would even do that. I'm just not cool with it. When she is well into her teens and we talk extensively about sexuality, repercussions of wearing a bikini, etc, then she can make her own choices.

(and in case anyone is feeling cray, by repercussions I do NOT mean if she wears a bikini she'll get raped or something like that.)

thebanich · July 2013

willy_gert said:

Banich4eva said:

willy_gert said:

Jones' comment made me think of this, but it is probably more of an UO. I don't want/ won't let Luci wear two piece bathing suits now, because I don't want her wearing them when she is older. I would prefer she be modest and wear a tankini or a one piece bathing suit. So I will not put her in a two piece now. My stepmom bought her one and I let her wear it once, to appease my step mom, but that is it.

I'm interested in why you don't want her to wear a two piece when she is older?

For me it is just modesty. I want her to be mindful of how she dresses and what she wears from a modesty perspective. I'm not going to make her wear dresses and turtlenecks or anything like that, but I do want her to be properly covered. I am not a fan of bikini's and everything that they show and how little they leave to the imagination. It is just a modesty thing for me.

Understood. When I was a teenager I wouldn't wear them because I was really self-conscious. I'd rather DD not wear them when she is small simply to keep the sun off of her. I'm sure DH will have all sorts of things to say about her wearing them when she is a teen.

jenndub · July 2013

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

MrsManny · July 2013

terri_doula2010 said:

I'm in the no bikini for LOs camp with @willy_gert. I'm far from overly-modest, but I think bikinis on little girls overly sexualizes them at a young age.

Someone gave us a two piece for Hazel and if she ever wears it it will be in the backyard but I don't know if I would even do that. I'm just not cool with it. When she is well into her teens and we talk extensively about sexuality, repercussions of wearing a bikini, etc, then she can make her own choices.

(and in case anyone is feeling cray, by repercussions I do NOT mean if she wears a bikini she'll get raped or something like that.)

I'm in this camp too! Right now I just have a boy, but when/if we have girls and I will keep them in 1 pieces. I think it's just fine to instill modesty values in them when they are young. It's something DH and I value, so this is a way we can put it into practice. FWIW it doesn't bother me when I see other little girls in 2 pieces, but it's just not our thing.

hmp1 · July 2013

jenndub said:

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

That sucks, Jen. Internet hugs.

LuvSD · July 2013

jenndub said:

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

I am so sorry for your loss and I know everyone has a right to whatever emotion they are feeling. What are you angry at? That he did it? I guess I don't really understand the anger when it comes to these things. My DH's cousin committed suicide a couple of weeks ago and I just find it extremely sad. It is sad that someone is in such a bad place that they believe suicide is the only resolution. Mental illness is a huge problem in the US and I think there needs to be way more education.

jenndub said:

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

LuvSD · July 2013

I don't know why it quoted twice and I don't know how to edit.

hmp1 · July 2013

eshee8198 said:

Mine...i mentioned this last week, bit I've really been struggling with it lately. I've always been an overachiever, so I guess I always assumed my kid would be. I'm having a hard time with her skill delays. I sort of wish she would do SOMETHING exceptionally early to balance it out. But at the same time, I feel like her life would be happier if she was, well, average. I feel like a lot of my youthful struggles had to do with being too smart for my own good. I'm such a bad mom for even reading into anything at this stage in her life.

Just remember it is all baby tricks until 3rd grade. I have always heard that you don't really know if a child is "smart" until 3rd grade.

MRoxy0628 · July 2013

I haven't left my daughter with anyone aside from my husband or her daycare provider. We have a wedding to go to next week, so my H's parents will be babysitting. But I really want my mom to be the first grandparent to babysit, so she's coming over tomorrow to watch Lily while we go on a date.

PenelopePond · July 2013

I'm so sorry @jenndub. That has to be difficult

Hyaline · July 2013

jenndub said:

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

I am so sorry. When my friend shot himself in high school, I was angry with him, too. And I got even angrier whenever I would see "suicide prevention" ads and stuff--they all imply that "there are warning signs." There aren't always warning signs. It's not easy, and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

ETA: to why someone would be angry: Because (and I know this is a giant UO, but it's how I felt at the the time, in the midst of those horrible emotions): I felt he had been selfish. He was surrounded by people who would have gladly helped him, done anything for him, and he chose to end it instead of reaching out. He left us with the pain instead of grappling with it himself. I completely agree that mental illness is a huge issue and clearly there was more going on in his life than we ever knew, but emotions aren't always rational responses.

willy_gert · July 2013

cheeseandrice said:

TheAnne said:

I signed up to donate blood today. But only after I read that it's like a 600 calorie burn to reproduce the blood taken.

woah. SIGN ME UP.

Me too!!!!

redneckmomma25 · July 2013

I kinda want to go to random boards and posts and love it random comments

jenndub · July 2013

Thanks everyone for the support.

And @mands629, last time Sawyer negotiated world peace, she could only pull off a double salchow. Such a disappointment. But seriously, I get what you mean. My child also has some amazing hair and people tend to overlook the content of my posts to focus on her pigtails. Which are distracting and unbelievably cute.

redneckmomma25 · July 2013

jenndub said:
Thanks everyone for the support.

And @mands629, last time Sawyer negotiated world peace, she could only pull off a double salchow. Such a disappointment. But seriously, I get what you mean. My child also has some amazing hair and people tend to overlook the content of my posts to focus on her pigtails. Which are distracting and unbelievably cute.

I totally do! I love her hair! I can barely get a clip in G's I have such hair envy!

BPer · July 2013

cheeseandrice said:

TheAnne said:

I signed up to donate blood today. But only after I read that it's like a 600 calorie burn to reproduce the blood taken.

woah. SIGN ME UP.

I had a bunch of bloodwork yesterday. I'm hoping it counted for at least 150.

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

mands629 said:

Stupid confession... Sometimes I get annoyed when people comment about Perry's hair. Yes, I get that it's amazing and personally I would love to have his hair. But when I share a picture of him doing something new or am holding him and talking about him, all anyone comments about is his hair. No one seems to care that he just did this new thing or that new thing or can speak French and do a triple salchow while making a grilled cheese sandwich and negotiating world peace.

Yes, but his HAIR!!!!

Seriously, though, thanks for sharing. Note taken.

Also, he is beautiful all over. Not just his hair. His adorable button nose and his shining eyes. Just a lovely little boy.

And speaking french at such an early age? He is pretty smart too!!

L8kissie · July 2013

I'm sorry Jenn. Anger is one of the emotions of grieving. Besides, suicide is tragic and selfish combined. I'm sorry for your loss.

Terri, I completely agree about the two piece and the over sexualizing of our children. It isn't just the bathing suits, I'm aiming to avoid dressing her like a hoochie.

My fffc: I fucking fell again yesterday. For those of you keeping score, that is two Thursdays in a row. I was wearing dd in the Ergo, so I managed to avoid landing on her and absorb most of the impact, but her head hit the cement still. She has a little mark and I'm horribly traumatized. Next Thursday, I'm not leaving my house to go pick up ds and I'm not carrying her after 3:30. MOTY :-??

Stasi · July 2013

hmp&mrj said:

willy_gert said:

KellersPrag said:

willy_gert said:

My FFFC is that I discovered yesterday that I can view everyone in my entire agency's salary information. I know it would be completely unethical to look, but I really want to.... So far, I have not. Maybe if I leave, on my last day I will look!

Our is available to any employee.

Our's isn't because they don't want us comparing salaries and because they don't want us to know what others are making..... They are pretty shitty like that though!

I think it is shitty to have salaries accessible to everyone. I don't want people to know what I make and DH certainly doesn't want people to know what he makes. When I managed a large group, I could see what everyone under me made. While they were all within the salary range, we have a pretty large range. I see no reason why that should be public and cannot see any good coming from it.

Y'all could Google what my DH and I make as we are a teacher and a federal employee...

AKB090609 · July 2013

MrsManny said:

terri_doula2010 said:

I'm in the no bikini for LOs camp with @willy_gert. I'm far from overly-modest, but I think bikinis on little girls overly sexualizes them at a young age.

Someone gave us a two piece for Hazel and if she ever wears it it will be in the backyard but I don't know if I would even do that. I'm just not cool with it. When she is well into her teens and we talk extensively about sexuality, repercussions of wearing a bikini, etc, then she can make her own choices.

(and in case anyone is feeling cray, by repercussions I do NOT mean if she wears a bikini she'll get raped or something like that.)

I'm in this camp too! Right now I just have a boy, but when/if we have girls and I will keep them in 1 pieces. I think it's just fine to instill modesty values in them when they are young. It's something DH and I value, so this is a way we can put it into practice. FWIW it doesn't bother me when I see other little girls in 2 pieces, but it's just not our thing.

We don't do bikinis on kids in my family, I think I was 16 or 17 when I got my first two piece. DD does have a few two piece suits for when DH takes her swimming because he can't get the straps right, but they cover her belly. My biggest issue is that when they are little they could get more sun exposure. I am also terrified that when they are older and doing their tricks in the water they will fall out of their bottoms.

eshee8198 · July 2013

hmp&mrj said:

eshee8198 said:

Mine...i mentioned this last week, bit I've really been struggling with it lately. I've always been an overachiever, so I guess I always assumed my kid would be. I'm having a hard time with her skill delays. I sort of wish she would do SOMETHING exceptionally early to balance it out. But at the same time, I feel like her life would be happier if she was, well, average. I feel like a lot of my youthful struggles had to do with being too smart for my own good. I'm such a bad mom for even reading into anything at this stage in her life.

Just remember it is all baby tricks until 3rd grade. I have always heard that you don't really know if a child is "smart" until 3rd grade.

Thank you. And rationally I know this! And I don't think she's behind in fine motor skills - she waves, she claps, she blows kisses, she plays games. I think a big part of it is that she's in such a comparative environment at daycare - and I can't tell if all the other kids are clapping, I can only tell that they're crawling.

I will say, it really helped to get all of the feedback on here that it wasn't something to worry about - especially from folks with EI experience.

eshee8198 · July 2013

jenndub said:

My friend committed suicide on Tuesday and I'm really mad at him. I'm sad too, but mostly pissed. I feel guilty for even saying it. He and his wife have been together since high school and they were trying to start a family. No one saw this coming.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's completely reasonable to feel angry. It doesn't make you any less compassionate - please don't feel guilty.

terri_doula2010 · July 2013

L8kissie said:

I'm sorry Jenn. Anger is one of the emotions of grieving. Besides, suicide is tragic and selfish combined. I'm sorry for your loss. Terri, I completely agree about the two piece and the over sexualizing of our children. It isn't just the bathing suits, I'm aiming to avoid dressing her like a hoochie. My fffc: I fucking fell again yesterday. For those of you keeping score, that is two Thursdays in a row. I was wearing dd in the Ergo, so I managed to avoid landing on her and absorb most of the impact, but her head hit the cement still. She has a little mark and I'm horribly traumatized. Next Thursday, I'm not leaving my house to go pick up ds and I'm not carrying her after 3:30. MOTY :-??

Oh no! I haven't been around enough...do you know why you are falling?

I am dizzy a lot in the last month or so. I'm more aware of it and more careful now, but of the 3 bad falls I've had in the last month or 2 I was carrying Hazel for 2 of them. Whoops. The third I was in a mall play area and knocked someone else's kid over. I'm a menace to society!

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