Infertility

On the verge...

...Of a breakdown.

I've been having such a hard time gearing up for our upcoming IVF cycle with some many different things adding to my stress level.  Most recently, I accidentally thought yesterday was the 21st and took my cetrotide a day early on my IVF calendar. I'm supposed to call my nurse in the morning to decide what to do.  I just can't help but think I ruined our change at doing IVF this upcoming cycle.

This is the last thing in a long list.  2 weeks ago yesterday DH and I were in a bad accident and totaled his car. I was driving and a deer came out of nowhere.  It was in the middle of the night and I overcorrected.  We didn't hit the deer but his car ended up on the side. Luckily we were both okay, but the car wasn't.  Shopping for a car and the unexpected expense has not been fun on my emotions.  Then, last weekend one of my best friends told me she was PG. Oh, and how after 2 months of trying she was like "hurry up already, I'm tired of waiting".  I get someone saying that if they don't know our struggles, but she does.  I've vented to her many times.

On top of all of that, things are stressful at work.  We just had our quarter reviews and I asked one of my bosses for a raise.  He said he was going to talk to our CEO and get back to me.  I haven't heard anything so I'm anxious about that conversation. It just seems everything is adding up and starting to take it's toll on me.

I'm starting to think my stress level right now might be too high even though I'm doing everything I can to bring it down. I'm worried it might effect the outcome of our IVF cycle. Anyone have any advice on this? I'm going to my acupuncturist tomorrow and have continued to try slow/calm breathing on a regular basis.

**SIGGY WARNING**

TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31 
DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen) 
FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15

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Re: On the verge...

  • krdesikrdesi member

    Wow! That is a lot to take in all at once!

    Sorry you're going through all that!

    Try to just pamper yourself a bit...get a pedicure or a massage or something. Eat good food, relax and veg out a bit. Acupuncture will hopefully help you manage your stress, it definitely helped mine a bit and sometimes you just have to keep breathing.

    Good luck with your cycle! Hopefully everything works out for you.


    **Siggy/Ticker Warning**   

             image
                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

                  DH: SA is good

                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
               June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked

                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

    TEAM BLUE!

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  • Hi,

    I'm pretty new around here. I don't have much to say about IVF and I'm still doing IUI. You're doing everything you can and this level of stress won't last forever. You CAN and you WILL get through it. It's hard to remember the little things like you and your DH are ok after the accident thank goodness. Cars are replaceable and you and DH are not, but yes cars sure are expensive. Good luck with your job. Just try to remember you are doing all of this to have the ultimate outcome! Sending you positive vibes.

    Kristina 

    Tried to conceive since September '12. Received fertility treatments since May '13 - September '13. No specific dx. 4 failed IUIs and one successful IVF! BFP 11/8/13!  1st beta: 200
  • MJ, big big hugs to you! I am so sorry you have all of this on your plate right before a cycle.

    I hope that the acu will help calm and center you a bit. The only advice for you I have is to just try to take things one day, one hour or one minute at a time. Whatever it takes to get through.
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
    2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
    2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
    SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16   EDD 4/1/17

     
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  • kjf114kjf114 member
    Mj I can very much relate everything I have been through with dog illness, work stress, etc.. The one thing I learned is there a good days and bad. Massage helped me and some solo time.. I am really sorry about one of your bfs too knowing that... I have several that said something similar but a little more sensitive. A day early for your meds hopefully isn't too bad I would do what is suppose to be next so nothing does get delayed. Good luck and ill be thinking of you!!

      us      dogs

    Me: 28, DH: 30 TTC since March 2012
    PCO & MTHFR Homozygous/Severe MFI (undescended teste & double hernia as baby)

    12/12: 50mg clomid= bfn
    1/13: 100mg clomid= bfn
    2/13: 100mg clomid= bfn 
    6/13: IVF/ICSI (x1 4AA)=BFFN ~49R, 44M, 33F, 14 frosties  OHSS
    8/13: FET #1 (x1 4AA)=First EVER BFP 4dp5dt!! d&c @ 6.5 wks, blighted ovum

    10/13: FET #2 (x2 4AA)= BFP 4dp5dt! Twins!!, perfect u/s then spontaneous m/c @ 5 wks
    11/13= RPL/Karotyping= MTHFR Homozygous c667t
    1/14= FET #3 our 2 year anniversary & hopefully our miracle

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      pumpimage

  • I'm so sorry it has been a tough time. You should definitely take care of yourself however you can...even though selfcare can be expensive, it's a drop in the bucket compared to IVF, so I like to think of it as an investment. Hehe. I also think that you sharing your stress on the IF board ought to help...I have a feeling you are at the worst of it and that you are gonna see the end of these bummer experiences. Maybe all things will look up from here!

    | Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
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    PAIF/SAIF/Everyone Welcome! 


  • sb9411sb9411 member
    I just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I am thinking of you, and I think your luck is bound to turn around.
  • Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support a ton. 

    **SIGGY WARNING**

    TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31 
    DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
    6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
    After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen) 
    FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15

    Everyone Welcome
    Baseball, Beagles, Beer and Babies Blog

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  • imageMJ14323:
    Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support a ton.nbsp;


    ::hugs:: we are here if you need anything!
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
    2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
    2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
    SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16   EDD 4/1/17

     
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  • Are you on any other meds right now? Like estrace/estradiol? That made me absolutely crazy and I had a major emotional breakdown last week. It was so out-of-body how emotional I felt. As soon as AF came and I got to stop taking that med, I felt a million times better. 

    I too am constantly stressed about being stressed and ruining the IVF outcome. But it sounds like you're doing what you can - acupuncture, deep breathing. I try to remind myself that people get pregnant all the time in much more stressful situations (war-ravaged countries, etc.) The IVF stress shouldn't affect our chances at pregnancy (I hope)!


    Photobucket  image
    Married: December 2005 ~ Started TTC: December 2008 ~ DH: 33, Me: 30
    Diagnosis: severe MFI, late ovulation, short LP, DOR
    Only option is IVF/ICIS. Waited several years before treatment because we're OOP.
    IVF/ICIS #1 in June 2012 (Protocol: Long Lupron). Stims: 6/17/12, ER: 6/30/12 (6R, 5M, 4F), ET: 7/5/12 (1 4AA embryo transferred, 0 made it to freeze) ~ Beta#1: 7/14/12 - 55, Beta#2: 7/16/12 - 100, Beta#3: 7/18/12 - 199 ~ Limbo for weeks, finally confirmed pregnancy not viable: 8/13/12 ~ D&C: 8/17/12 
    Varicocele Surgery: October 2012 (long break to wait for results, no change) 
    Changed clinics: February 2013 
    IVF/ICIS Attempt #2 in April 2013 (Protocol: Antagonist). Stims: 4/12/13, Cycle Cancelled: 4/17/13 for poor follicle response and low E2 rise. 
    IVF/ICIS Attempt #3 in May 2013 (Protocol: LEAP) Cycle Cancelled: 5/20/13 at suppression check due to cyst
    IVF/ICIS Attempt #4 in July 2013 (Protocol: LEAP). Stims: 7/20/13, ER: 8/1/13 (12R, 11M, 9F), ET: 8/6/13 (3 fair embryos transferred, 0 made it to freeze) ~ Beta#1: 8/15/13 - 86, Beta#2: 8/18/13 - 390.6, Ultrasound: 9/3/13 - TWO HEARTBEATS! 

    image

  • imageKRoseToes:

    Are you on any other meds right now? Like estrace/estradiol?

     

    Yes, started estrace on Saturday.  I didn't have issues with it last cycle, so who knows. 

    Now, I'm swelling from the Cetrotide shot this morning...having some sort of allergic reaction.  I'm trying to prepare myself that we aren't moving forward with this cycle, but I'm waiting to hear back from the nurse.

    **SIGGY WARNING**

    TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31 
    DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
    6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
    After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen) 
    FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15

    Everyone Welcome
    Baseball, Beagles, Beer and Babies Blog

    imageimageimage

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