I dont post much but was wondering how all are doing as well as had a question. I hit 23 weeks, and this is the week i lost my daughter my last pregnancy. I know my little boy is all stitched in, but given the barrage of issues ive had this pregnancy i still cant imagine having a take home baby. I see so many posts about buying clothes setting up nurseries and i must say im very envious. It gives me horrible anxiety to think that if something happens ill have to pack away everything again like i did with my daughter. Is anyone else feeling this way and if you are...when will you or when did you "take the plunge" and start on purchasing things? I keep thinking at certain milestones thats when ill get up the courage to do it but so far...nada. Ugh..i so hate my brain right now!
Re: October loss mamas
I went through 2 losses but they were early on b4 I had DS 2. I didn't really start buying major things until I felt him kicking. I did buy a couple outfits after I found out the sex.
With this baby, I haven't bought much. I feel him kick all the time. I just haven't got around to it much.
Not inappropriate at all. I had an incompetent cervix which led to preterm labor. By the time i knew what was happening i was 4cm dilated and had to deliver. She was fine..perfect..it was my body that failed. She was born alive and lived for about 3 precious hours. Im sorry for your losses as well. Thanks for your reply!
I know exactly what you mean. I went into PTL and lost our daughter close to 26 weeks. I'm 24 wks 3 days today and I'm just now letting myself believe that this could be our take home baby. Getting to viability helped a lot. It's not a magic number but it means something.
I also haven't bought a single item for this LO. (we're expecting a boy) I have a ton of girly stuff from last year but we'd also bought a crib and stroller that weren't too girly that we'll use for our lil guy.
I think I'll take the plunge once I hit 30 weeks. Or maybe 34 I honestly don't know. Like you, my PgAL brain always finds a way to stop me in my tracks when I want to indulge on some shopping.
One thing I did buy though that's somewhat baby related are nursing pads. I started leaking like crazy last night and there's no way I'm stepping out without them.
Are you getting additinal monitoring? My weekly ultrasounds have also lessen my anxiety.
It can be really tough but hang in there mama! Big hugs!
Im sorry for your losses, To me a loss is a life no matter how small. Im glad your pgal brain has eased some!
Thank you and im sorry about the loss of your daughter. This sucks to think this way but it is nice to know im not rowing in this boat alone. Make you a deal...if you figure out first let me know and ill do the same for you!
Thank you...im sorry you have had loss as well.Im glad you got your nursery together! Early or later loss the anxiety sucks! Thanks for the suggestion!
Hugs back to you...im sorry you lost your daughter. Congrats on the boy...thats what im having as well! I think viability will mean something..then i think no 28 weeks then it gets further away! Im right there with you. I get biweekly ultrasounds...its nice to see him..but in all honesty it adds to anxiety sometimes. They take me back to the day i lost my daughter. When i went in....they did an ultrasound, printed pictures....she was on the screen alive and doing well. I thought ...thank goodness shes ok...whatever is happening they can fix it. Tech left...in came dr and my world came crashing down. In the most horrible bedside manner he said baby is fine but your going to deliver we cant stop it and left. So needless to say all i can think of is this will happen again. Luckily..i have a crack team of experts on me watching me like a hawk which does bring some comfort.
Im sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. Thank for such a sweet reply and i appreciate the thoughts and knowing im not alone! Prayers for you and bringing home a little one!
Going through the small things was so very hard. Im sorry for your loss. I think painting may be my first step as well. I just have to get there!
Im sorry for the loss of your son, thank you for your reply. I agree it is so very sad to always be uneasy and to think this is our normal. Big hugs! On a separate note...i have to say Go bucks! Ohio mama here too!
I'm so sorry for all that all of you have been through.
I just wanted to tell you not to stress about not preparing for the baby. My family and community are superstitious and we don't purchase anything until after a baby is born. We went to the hospital and had nothing but a car seat and it was really, really fine. (The first week DH was taking lots of trips to Target and Buy Buy Baby.) I had a few scares with DD, but didn't go through what any of you did, and even with that it was hard to feel sure that I'd be taking DD home and this time feel like I can't take anything for granted.
Looking forward to hearing great news from all of you in October!
I have had early losses so I have a ton of fear during my first tri. I totally understand your feelings and do not push yourself to do something your not comfortable with just yet, like big baby purchases. You still have plenty of time to do all that. Hugs!!
Just do what feels comfortable. I have never had a late loss but I don't set up the nursery ahead of time. The baby sleeps in a bassinet next to me for atleast three months and that is when I set up the baby's room. I mean the paint and floors are done but the rest of the stuff still needs to be done.
Eleanor 9.30.13
I had an early loss with my second pregnancy. I also had a dear friend lose her full term daughter when she was 3 days old due to some health issues with the baby. I think both of these are contributing to my not feeling ready to really let myself believe this is happening. Just the other day, I had an overwhelming feeling of love for this baby girl and it terrified me and brought me to tears.
I'm sure I'll make myself "get over it" before she actually arrives so that things are ready for her, but I'm not sure when I'll get there. Probably after 30 weeks. My first pregnancy was so carefree by comparison.
My food & craft blog: Fraises et Tartines
BFP #2: 9/29/12; EDD 6/8/2013; m/c 10/5/2012
BFP#3: 1/29/13; EDD 10/5/2013 - Baby Claire arrived 10/6/2013
Thank you for your support and reply!
I'm sorry for your losses as well! At this rate if baby comes home..he will have a dresser drawer to sleep in..which is fine by me so long as he comes home! Thank you for the support!
Thanks for the supportive hugs!
Im sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 7 years ago then was told i would never have children after infertility struggles. Though i was 23 weeks we had a nursery and it was so very hard. Though your loss was later i can certainly relate to the nursery. After losing her then losing hope for a child it took a good year to pack it all away. I did keep most of everything but the big items. They still sit stowed away bacause those were Saras things and i just cant part. Thank you for your support and advice. Fingers crossed to healthy little ones in our arms to take home!
Im sorry for your loss as well as your friends. Carefree pregnancy is such a taboo word for loss mamas!! Thank you for your reply and support and hugs to you!
i never thought you insinuated that at all and if my wording came across as me thinking so im sorry! Iviewed your post as very supportive and sharing your story and i appriciate that! If this LO was a girl I would use some of the stuff! For me there would be some comfort in that. But alas it is a boy and i dont think he would appriciate wearing pink dresses and bows!