Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
dabbsfunk
member
Re: Delivery gown
Honestly its a waste of money. Why pay for something you are going to turn around and throw away. Trust me when in labor the last thing on your mind is going to be what you are wearing. Labor is not a fashion show.
It will not fly if you need a c/s. Safety over comfort. I'm a FTM, but I'd imagine things could get messy with a vaginal delivery and your gown may get ruined.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Awwwww! I'm luffed!
I'm pretty sure I said comfort was my number one priority, not being fashionable.
And I understand it's a one time wear. I wasn't asking if it is worth the money, I am asking for input from women who've worn their own clothes during labor and can share what worked best for them.
How do you know if the hospital ones arent comfortable? Seriously, a gown being comfortable is not going to make or break your labor and delivery experience.
Like I said, contact the hospital to see if outside clothes are allowed first. Once you have that answer come back and ask the question.
Like I said you are not gonna care what the hell you have on. It is going to get ruined, and you are going to look back and think hummm I could have used that money for something else. If you decided to buy your own it will still have to have the snaps at the arms, and ties, so basically you are paying for fashion, because that is the only difference.
Do not get your panties in a twist because you did not get the answers you were looking for.
Hold on!! Let me make some popcorn for this. I feel a meltdown coming on.
The idea was provided to me by the birthing class instructor at the facility I'll be delivering. If it wasn't allowed, I wouldn't have asked.
Well maybe you should have noted that in your OP. That being said, why dont you contact them for ideas of what is best to wear for your fashionable er comfortable labor experience.
I was looking for answers to the questions I asked. I could care less if people disagree with my decision. I'm just looking for suggestions from women who have made the same decision and have experiences to share.
My panties aren't in a twist. I'm just being as forthright as you two seem to think is necessary.
And I'm sorry to disappoint for not giving you the meltdown you've tried to invoke.
So the above line that says, and I am quoting here "so I'm wondering if anyone has advice or what's important to have or avoid"
My advice was to avoid the unnecessary purchase!
Now if you would have posted a question like: I am a FTM and I am going to wear my own gown, do you have any suggestions on what website to purchase from or a long or short style. I would have left it alone.
Besides this is the internet and you are going to get opinions from every walk of life, you get the good with the bad. If you do not like what you see then move on to the next person. I do not give puppy and rainbow advice.
And I am really disappointed that I can not give you the answers you were looking for. Sorry for giving you an answer that you did not like.
No, you're doing a good job at it.
But in all seriousness, what did you expect? As a btdt mom, comfort in a freaking gown that will most likely be taken off and changed due to it getting bloody pretty quickly if they have to break your water, right after you have the baby they have you change, etc is pointless. Go, spend your money how you want to, I could care less about that but dont be disappointed if all of this doesnt turn out the way you expect.
If you want advice of what the nurses need access to call the dang hospital and ask. Better yet, call the instructors that told you that this was ok. I am not going to hold back what I have to say because you think we are supposed to be up each others butt giving support.
I looked like I wanted to by the time any visitors came in to see me!
eta: you honestly won't care NEAR as much as you think you will when the time comes.
I'll be at a birth center where they have gowns as an option, but I will be bringing my own clothes. I plan on using one of my old Old Navy jersey knit skirts and a bra or cami of some sort. I wouldn't purchase something else to wear, and if you take other clothes, plan on throwing them away at the hospital. Also, be 100% sure it's allowed, as everyone has said. At my hospital, we do not allow anyone to wear their own clothes, including L&D.
ETA: the skirt will come off when I start to push. If you're looking for comfort and style, pushing a human out your vag is not it.
That said, you should just give a quick call to l and d or the birth center at your hospital and ask about the specifics if you decide to get your own.
I can totally understand wanting to be cute and comfy, but I swear it'll be the LAST thing on your mind when you're actually having the baby! You can get dolled up afterwards!
Why not clingly? I don't want my boobs in my armpits!
I've always done the delivery gown and a sports bra. Boobs not in your armpits and still comfy.
BFP 01/05/2013. EDD 09/18/2013. Low Progesterone. Gestational Diabetes. Rh Negative. Baby Ky-Mani born 100% healthy 09/17/2013. TTC#2 12/2013. BFP 02/01/2014! "Baby RaggaMuffin" due 10/07/2014.
She said nothing about her skin being sensitive. Even if it were the advice given to call to be 100 sure still stands.
I'm amazed by all these negative responses. I too am a FTM and struggling to find a suitable labour gown. I don't want fashion either but I want to buy something that is comfortable and accessible to nurses, baby and me and I'm happy to throw it out afterwards. Was looking forward to getting some ideas from this post but alas no. Good post though and good luck in your hunt. I'll keep looking too.
I was surprised too, but maybe I'm just old. Insert Smiley face. Hope you saw my post shortly after yours. It's not about a specific gown, but more about the characteristics of a gown you might want to consider. Best wishes to both of you!
That's a great idea too!
There is no flucking way I am going without some kind of support for my breasts! No flucking way!!!!!
I felt this way, too, but my hospital wouldn't allow me to keep my bra on. It was their gown and only their gown. They were pretty strict about it.
I have an UO here, but I don't find hospital gowns comfortable in the slightest. It's not about the fabric, it's all those ties and snaps and just feeling like I'm hanging out all over the place. I'm a pretty modest person and can't even stand to be in my own house without a bra on.
With that said, there is a reason why the gowns are so open. Because nurses/doctors need access to stuff, and they need it quick. So even though I think those gowns are uncomfortable, I have no problem wearing it for delivery. (Not to mention that during my last delivery I got blood all the way up my neck and in my hair. Birth is a nasty business.)
You better believe that the SECOND birth is over and I'm cleaned up, the bra and personal clothes are coming on. I don't think I'd be able to sleep, otherwise.