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missyishere · June 2013

I judge a mom friend of mine who blames her upbringing constantly on how she treats her son. "You see-- this is why I yell at him!" kind of attitude doesn't change the cycle. I grew up in a tumultuous home, too, but I aim to change that; not perpetuate the issue. She's also the one who bare assed spanked her DS right in front of everyone while camping and told him she didn't care if he ran away. He's almost 3...

amyc216 · June 2013

I judged the other mom at Little Gym who drove away with her toddler in the car the other day with a very booming bass radio blasting. Come on dude....

missyishere · June 2013

Woodsie:
I judge my fb friend for posting 7, yes, 7 times about her dog's birthday the other day. Throwback pics from his puppy days, times they've spent together, gushy mushy "I wove you puppy wuppy" type posts, gift openings, the works. Get. A. Life.

Um... I mean, I love my dogs but that may be a little much. Or a lot much.

jwls84 · June 2013

I judge my MIL who had B for a sleep over and when I went to pick him up the next day she was bragging about the trail mix packages she made for B. I thought awesome a great idea for an on the go snack right! Wrong! It was fruit loops, marshmallows, chips and cookies! Ummm really MIL! I told DH to talk to them about the sugar in take, I honestly don't mind if they give him a treat here and there because I do it too, but every time I turn my back it is something sugary and they never even try to give him healthier snacks!

CMonkey515 · June 2013

I judge my neighbor and his new girlfriend. They have been dating since maybe December and she moved in a few months ago with her daughter whose maybe 5. Neighbor has always been a party guy, and since having a kid in the house that hasn't changed much. They still have loud music going till 10/11 at night. The little girl sleeps on the couch, and she gets up early for daycare so she can't be getting nearly enough sleep.

Also she is always just hanging outside on the back deck usually by herself. They don't really have any toys or anything for her to do out there. It's a high deck and she's constantly popping her head over the fence when we are out there playing and talking to us. We have a lot of outdoor toys for W and its obvious the poor girl is jealous. She constantly watches and talks about what W is doing. I don't mind talking to her, but it's pretty much non stop when we are outside. We don't get a second of peace. I feel bad for her, but its not my job to entertain her. Maybe her mom or the bf should hang out with her more. Or at least get her some outdoor toys so she's not so bored. We did have them over once a few weekends ago so the girl could play a little. They were all nice enough but I don't want that to become a habit either.

cantalopes24 · June 2013

missyishere:
I judge a mom friend of mine who blames her upbringing constantly on how she treats her son. "You see-- this is why I yell at him!" kind of attitude doesn't change the cycle. I grew up in a tumultuous home, too, but I aim to change that; not perpetuate the issue. She's also the one who bare assed spanked her DS right in front of everyone while camping and told him she didn't care if he ran away. He's almost 3...

Wtf? What did you say to her? I would have flipped.

wilsontl19191 · June 2013

I judge my friend who sent out her daughters 2nd birthday invite with a f!cking novel about her gift wish list at Toys R Us and "please only fall/winter styles in size 2t". I think it's tacky. Let people buy her what they want. If people want to know what she wants or needs, they can call her!

ally510 · June 2013

I judge my MIL for acting like MH and I are the effing Bank of NJ. She is a leach in every sense...she hasn't worked since before MH was born (he's an only child). This is despite the fact that MH's father asked her to work because they built a house that she adorned with the most heinous and expensive sh!t available in the 1980's and then he lost his job. Rather than contribute, she ran up the credit card bills ($20,000+) and MH's dad worked his butt off to pay them down. He finally had them paid off when he died of a sudden heart attack in 2006.

Since then, MH has been telling her needs to budgeting for the long-term and warning her that he cannot help her financially as he has a family of his own. She fell down at her hair salon and got a $50,000 settlement in 2008, which she blew through buying crap from QVC. She is now officially broke and living off of FIL's small pension and social security. This would cover her expenses...if she hadn't run up another $10,000 of credit card debt. She has come to us twice in the past two weeks needing money. MH has sent her 2 checks totalling about $1600. He doesn't want to help her, but feels too guilty to not help her. I'm nearing the end of my rope with her. In my eyes she is taking money directly out of P's college fund. We're stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

Sorry this was so long. She just makes me violent!!!!!

Shannon526 · June 2013

CMonkey515:
I judge my neighbor and his new girlfriend. They have been dating since maybe December and she moved in a few months ago with her daughter whose maybe 5. Neighbor has always been a party guy, and since having a kid in the house that hasn't changed much. They still have loud music going till 10/11 at night. The little girl sleeps on the couch, and she gets up early for daycare so she can't be getting nearly enough sleep.
Also she is always just hanging outside on the back deck usually by herself. They don't really have any toys or anything for her to do out there. It's a high deck and she's constantly popping her head over the fence when we are out there playing and talking to us. We have a lot of outdoor toys for W and its obvious the poor girl is jealous. She constantly watches and talks about what W is doing. I don't mind talking to her, but it's pretty much non stop when we are outside. We don't get a second of peace. I feel bad for her, but its not my job to entertain her. Maybe her mom or the bf should hang out with her more. Or at least get her some outdoor toys so she's not so bored. We did have them over once a few weekends ago so the girl could play a little. They were all nice enough but I don't want that to become a habit either.

This makes me sad for that little girl... I almost feel like it's bordering on neglect..

LCass · June 2013

I judge DH (even though it's his birthday) for not doing a better job of managing his time. His report cards were due yesterday and they're not done yet. He knew for ages that he needed to come with me to a work event on Sunday evening, and that his class grad trip was on Tuesday. Lily and I were away May 31-June 2 and he was supposed to use that time of not having to deal with any other responsibilities/play with Lily to get a lot of grading done and get a start on his reports. He didn't "feel like" doing school work, so he unpacked and arranged the spare room, and spent 3+ hours with his bff figuring out how to install a cupboard and the dishwasher in the kitchen. All of which could have waited and could have been done when we were here. Instead, he's barely seen Lily at all in the past week, has been whiney and snappy with me about how tired he is and how much work he still has to do. And now he's going to have to spend part of his birthday staying late at school and finishing up the damn reports.

cantalopes24 · June 2013

LCass:
I judge DH (even though it's his birthday) for not doing a better job of managing his time. His report cards were due yesterday and they're not done yet. He knew for ages that he needed to come with me to a work event on Sunday evening, and that his class grad trip was on Tuesday. Lily and I were away May 31-June 2 and he was supposed to use that time of not having to deal with any other responsibilities/play with Lily to get a lot of grading done and get a start on his reports. He didn't "feel like" doing school work, so he unpacked and arranged the spare room, and spent 3+ hours with his bff figuring out how to install a cupboard and the dishwasher in the kitchen. All of which could have waited and could have been done when we were here. Instead, he's barely seen Lily at all in the past week, has been whiney and snappy with me about how tired he is and how much work he still has to do. And now he's going to have to spend part of his birthday staying late at school and finishing up the damn reports.

OMG MH does stuff like that and it drives me crazy! I get that you're doing things that you felt need to be done and you worked hard but FFS why couldn't you have just done what actually needed to be done?

jwls84 · June 2013

Woodsie:
Jwls, that reminds me of my MIL. She got T sugar free pudding because it's "healthier than the regular kind" and teddy grahams because "they're technically crackers". Okay, MIL.

Lol, my MIL says that about juice, it's healthy because it is fruit.....

missyishere · June 2013

cantalopes24:
missyishere:
I judge a mom friend of mine who blames her upbringing constantly on how she treats her son. "You see-- this is why I yell at him!" kind of attitude doesn't change the cycle. I grew up in a tumultuous home, too, but I aim to change that; not perpetuate the issue. She's also the one who bare assed spanked her DS right in front of everyone while camping and told him she didn't care if he ran away. He's almost 3...
Wtf? What did you say to her? I would have flipped.

I didn't, because I think it would have only embarrassed her son further. If given the drunken opportunity, I will some day tell her how much I loathe her (and how I only tolerate the woman because she and I are in the same circle of friends). I complain about her A LOT on here, and I really just need to grow the balls telling her how I really feel about her shittastic attitude.

SS1639 · June 2013

I asked my MIL to babysit DS tmrw and she sent me a text back saying she couldn't because she was having a garage sell. Along the same lines, I'm a Realtor and always get people asking about a house I have for sell. Seriously people, it's sale!!!!

ally510 · June 2013

Woodsie:
ally510:

It sounds like your MIL has never budgeted in her entire life, so I don't think she'll be able to start now without some help and some tough love from YH. He is totally enabling her, and this won't be the last time she asks for money. You guys are just throwing your money down the tubes at interest on her CC debt, and probably more shopping.

We went through a similar situation with a family member recently, though it involved hundreds of thousands of dollars of gambling debt, bankruptcy, and foreclosure. DH and I agreed that we will never give this person cash directly, but we have helped out in other ways to help get things straightened out. We helped out getting the person a bankruptcy trustee, a financial advisor, a counsellor to help with the gambling addiction, set up with a gambler's anonymous group, and paid for moving expenses when the house was foreclosed on (the entire value of the paid off house had been gambled away..) as well as set up a savings account in our name that the person can contribute to through us but doesn't have direct access to so there's no temptation to blow the extra cash on non-essentials. It's definitely tough love, but I know exactly where any cash we gave to "help" would have gone. You can give a man a fish... you know the rest.

I hate to bring this up, but is it possible that your MIL has more than $10K in CC debt? $1,600 seems like a lot in two weeks... I only say this because when our family member came to us for money, we did the math on what we thought the debt was, and it didn't add up at all. We ended up being more right about that than we imagined.

I think if you agree to help her out financially, it has to have some VERY strict terms. Like getting access to all of her banking and financial information, getting her to cut up all of her credit cards, and ensuring she sees a financial advisor and credit specialist (actually go with her to the appointments).

Sorry this was long. I feel for you, I really do. Good luck!

She has 2 credit cards, both with a $5000 limit and both are maxed. The money we sent was to help her fix her air conditioning (she lives in FL) and her car. I think the check for the car repairs was written directly to the mechanic. We have been trying to convince her to sell her house for years, but she refuses to leave it. She only needs a small apartment, but is so attached to the unnecessary stuff in her 3 bedroom home, she won't sell. She tried to get a home equity loan, but was denied due to her credit. Thus she just applied for a reverse mortgage. I know this is not a long-term solution and my fear is that as soon as she gets the money, she'll go one another spending spree. But she won't give MH power of attorney and since she has all of her faculties, he cannot get it without her cooperation. The other night he told her that this bank is officially closed. This is a situation she's created, thus she'll need to find a way to get herself out of it in the future (by applying for public assistance programs, etc...). My only saving grace here is that she is so far away from us, so I don't have to see her often.

rous27 · June 2013

I'm judging myself for staying at a job that I loath and is too physically hard for me to do. I got a long term teaching job that starts in September so I need a job just for the summer. But most of the college and high school kids took the summer jobs. I feel stuck and I'm miserable. The craptastic thing is that I left then came back for the summer. One month in and I want to walk out right this minute. I'm weak.

pennysuedog · June 2013

rous27:
I'm judging myself for staying at a job that I loath and is too physically hard for me to do. I got a long term teaching job that starts in September so I need a job just for the summer. But most of the college and high school kids took the summer jobs. I feel stuck and I'm miserable. The craptastic thing is that I left then came back for the summer. One month in and I want to walk out right this minute. I'm weak.

I'm sorry...there are so many educated and smart people stuck in jobs they are overqualified for because of this economy. Hang in there.

pennysuedog · June 2013

Late to the game...I've been at a amusement park all day!!

Which gives me my UO. How hard is it to walk down a path correctly. I was under the impression that when walking on a path you stick to your right side, you don't walk in between a group of people spliting them up and you try to swerve out of the way of other pedestrians that are coming at you.

ally510 · June 2013

Woodsie:
ally510:

She has 2 credit cards, both with a $5000 limit and both are maxed. The money we sent was to help her fix her air conditioning (she lives in FL) and her car. I think the check for the car repairs was written directly to the mechanic. We have been trying to convince her to sell her house for years, but she refuses to leave it. She only needs a small apartment, but is so attached to the unnecessary stuff in her 3 bedroom home, she won't sell. She tried to get a home equity loan, but was denied due to her credit. Thus she just applied for a reverse mortgage. I know this is not a long-term solution and my fear is that as soon as she gets the money, she'll go one another spending spree. But she won't give MH power of attorney and since she has all of her faculties, he cannot get it without her cooperation. The other night he told her that this bank is officially closed. This is a situation she's created, thus she'll need to find a way to get herself out of it in the future (by applying for public assistance programs, etc...). My only saving grace here is that she is so far away from us, so I don't have to see her often.

She probably will, since she has no experience with budgeting or being held responsible for her spending. This is sort of what happened with our family member, except the home equity loan was approved for something like 90% of the home value when the market was high, then of course the market crashed so the amount owing ended up being more than the home was worth.

I'm really glad that YH is putting his foot down and refusing to enable her. I hope she's able to dig herself out of her mess and become more responsible.

ETA I can understand her not wanting to give up her home, but it might end up being her only option. Although if she spends all of her reverse mortgage money, she could face bankruptcy eventually and lose the home AND any equity she may have previously had. Such a crappy situation, I'm so sorry.

Thanks Woodsie!

katecham · June 2013

I judge my employer for their pisspoor handling of our reduction of staff. We have been promised different things like knowing who is going to be cut for months. They keep making promises and Giving Dates that they have not met, ever. We are all out of jobs in two weeks and they just got around to interviewing this week. We were told during the interview we would know our status today and now they are telling us it will be next week. So realistically it will be our last week here. I'm also pretty sure their interview process goes against federal regulations so I am forseeing some quality time with HR.

rubysue267 · June 2013

I hate most abbreviated words like "Sunnies" (they're f-ing sunglasses, okay?), "Sposies" (visceral cringe), and "Paci". It's like nails on the chalkboard.

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