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Judgy Grandmas

thechickencoopthechickencoop member
in Stay at Home Moms

I took DS to a 'special' playtime at the library today (special because it's on a Friday and they had bagels and OJ lol), so it was more crowded and almost everyone was unfamiliar.  DS was playing great but then went to grab a toy from a little girl.  I know he doesn't understand it yet, but I gave him something else and told him that he can play with it when she's done.  I've been getting in the habit of telling him this because I really like the thought process that even though they're babies, they're still not entitled to something that someone else has!  

Anyway, it had to have been the little girls grandmother that was there, but she said back to me, 'oh no he can take it, she has to share'.  And then said to the other grandmother next to her (and still right in front of me), 'I can't believe people teach their kids not to share, they need to share'!  We moved to play with some other kids.

So am I crazy???  Obviously kids are going to take other kid's toys, but I'm trying to instill the idea that he can wait!  Or at least ask for it.  What are your guys thoughts on this because it just made me feel awkward! 

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Re: Judgy Grandmas

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    mrs.birdiemrs.birdie member

    I've always told DD that she can play with a toy after the other child is done, but I also remind her to share when there is a child who obviously wants to play with a toy she has. 

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    shibby00shibby00 member
    You were right, grandma was wrong. I'd never mak my kids stop playing with something just because someone else wants it. That isn't how the world works. When they are done someone else can play. 
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    thechickencoopthechickencoop member
    Ugh ok, thanks guys!  I always get very passive when 'older' people are parenting KWIM?  LIke, in the back of my mind I think that because they're older, then they must know.  But I know, in reality, to just trust my own instincts!
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    NHbride129NHbride129 member
    It depends... If the other baby wasn't crying and didn't seem upset then I probably wouldn't have stepped in.  Although they need to learn to take turns, they also need get used to playing around other kids.  If you give the toy back every time I think that's a little much. 
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    hjk5000hjk5000 member

    imageletranger:
    Can I use this post to mention that I hate when old people have an opinion on my kids.

    Preach it. "Well when my kids were little..." Thanks, but if it was 20+ years ago IDGAF. 

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    ChristyMLChristyML
    OP, I would have done exactly what you did. I'm all for sharing, but not when a child grabs and takes something from someone else. That's not sharing.
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    WinsyWadeWinsyWade member
    imageCurlingRocks:

    I can't believe it was that big of an issue...  Kids always steal each others' toys at our story time.  I usually tell DS he can play with something when the other child finishes if it becomes an issue.  But if the kids redirect themselves (about 99% of the time at the baby story hour), none of the regs. usually interfere.

    When DS plays with his older cousin, she usually gets upset because "he isn't sharing" when she tries to take his toy and he gets upset.  We just keep telling her she can choose something else until he is finished.

    On a similar note... A friend's older daughter kept doing the same thing- trying to take the baby's toy away and making him cry.  Instead of teaching the older child to wait their turn, the parents would say, "oh you can have it, only if you give baby another toy".  I think that's the wrong lesson to teach.  "I want it and I want it now, so give it to me and I'll give you this other thing that I don't care about."  It grated on my nerves.  Not fair in my book.

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